Advice Thread

[Nique]

No, you don't ask for advice, you submit/receive unsolicited advice.

Here's mine: Don't ever ask for advice on any subject on the internet. Ever. They will only make sexual advances at your wife and/or pets.

[Funka Genocide]

I'd suggest you don't iron your jeans because I mean, fuck, that's just god awful.

[bluestarultor]

Don't make serious advice threads. It ends in heartbreak.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

In a similar vein to the above advices (advicii??), don't get into a heated debate online. You will only cause a massive flame war resulting in hurling abuse at the other person.

The internet is serious busniness

[Kim]

If you have to debate whether or not to put your dick in it, you probably shouldn't.

[Funka Genocide]

but I loooove nutella.

[bluestarultor]

but I loooove nutella.

? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6szr_mAzhg)

[Lost in Time]

"But I loooove nutella" Is never a valid excuse. Ever.

[Kim]

"But I loooove nutella" Is never a valid excuse. Ever.

It's the only excuse.

[Phantom7]

There are always better excuses, like "the sun was in my eyes!" Or, "How the hell was I supposed to know he could ride a unicycle while playing a didgeridoo!?"

[Amake]

There's one piece of advice that's been a great help to me in every stage of my life. As my father once told it to me, I'll tell it to you:

Don't eat the yellow snow.

[BitVyper]

Here's an ace you can keep. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxTmOOvigJY)

[Green Spanner]

If you're going to be playing around with your computer's registry to solve a problem, always remember to back everything up first.

I've only just got everything back working again...

[Si Civa]

Don't wear pants.

That's pretty much everything you need to know about life.

[TARDIS]

Never hate Gilgamesh. He is the greatest FF character ever, as evidenced by being in MULTIPLE games but very few are connected with each other.

[Nique]

I have to say this is probably the worst advice thread anyone has started ever. Welp. Sounds like we all qualify for our own "Dead Abby" coloumns in national newspapers.

[Ecks]

If a woman tells you she's not angry about something/not disappointed/not (insert negative feeling here)...

She is. She's not even lying when she says she isn't. She just doesn't realize that she really does feel that way even if she says she doesn't.

What I'm really trying to say here is this: be careful of the fairer sex. She is beautiful and at times an absolute delight to be around... but as the saying goes, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Don't take her word for it, boys. If she says she's not angry, yet her eyes burn like the devil's... uh, that's when you run.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Nice guys finish last. They never succeed in life. Be an asshole.

[BitVyper]

Nice guys finish last. They never succeed in life. Be an asshole.

Y'know, I'm totally okay with finishing last in life.

[Odjn]

The louder the mouth, the weaker the conviction.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

The advice in this thread is all painfully painfully wrong.
Except IQ's that is pretty accurate. The rest-ugh...

[Masaki-kun]

Tower shields don't protect your crotch automatically. You'd think "oh man, this shield is huge, they can't just spear me in the nuts." You're wrong. I don't know how that thing phased in there but it got me and it was a sad, sad thing.

[Pip Boy]

Anime is wierd.

[BitVyper]

The advice in this thread is all painfully painfully wrong.
Except IQ's that is pretty accurate. The rest-ugh...

If you've got a problem with Kenny Rogers, then me and you are gonna have to step outside.

[Amake]

Y'know, I'm totally okay with finishing last in life. "The one who has the most stuff when he dies wins" is the game. I'm fine with not playing. Actually I'm pretty sure that rule was intended as a joke.

I'm pretty sure in Biblical times they had already figured out that material success involves losing important parts of yourself. That's what the ol' deal with the devil is a metaphor for.

PS. I know, right Smarty? No advice can compare to Don't Eat the Yellow Snow.

[Funka Genocide]

The advice in this thread is all painfully painfully wrong.
Except IQ's that is pretty accurate. The rest-ugh...

I knew you ironed your jeans.

I just KNEW it.

[Premmy]

Just because you're a grown man/woman does'nt mean you can't use the baby wipes. use them.

[Funka Genocide]

if she says she wants to get back together, she cheated on you.

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

Quit pickin' at it.

[EVILNess]

$If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just dance.

Never imply a woman is pregnant unless you can see them spitting out a baby right then.

[Amake]

Jesus died for your sins. If you don't sin, He died for nothing!
Did someone use to have that in their signature? Well, anyway.

[h4x.m4g3]

Always remember your towel.
Don't panic.
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

[Sir Pinkleton]

The advice in this thread is all painfully painfully wrong.
Except IQ's that is pretty accurate. The rest-ugh...

I figured some people were taking after this?:

Don't make serious advice threads. It ends in heartbreak.

Maybe? It's better if you don't take them seriously, anyway. Kinda sad, if you do...

Anywho. If you have low expectations, then nothing is dissappointing!

[Archbio]

My mother said: to get things done, you'd better not mess with Major Tom.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

1. Don't be an idiot.
2. Ignore the don'ts, consider the dos
3. Do not be an idiot

[Amake]

But if you're an idiot, how do you not be an idiot?

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I know... Idiots don't know they're idiots and they may never learn. Hell... I could be an idiot without ever learning about it (Of course that's laughable since I'm obviously a genius)

A struggle against idiocy is a futile struggle. It was probably dumb of me to give that advice. But maybe, someone... maybe... YOU! Yes, you! Think about it for a bit. Is it possible that you may be an idiot? You don't want to be an idiot, right? Then don't be. Your mind is free, you can do anything with it if you only try. Reach for the stars my friend. And beyond.

[DarkDrgon]

Never Kiss a rattlesnake on the mouth

[McTahr]

Pull up your goddamn pants and get off my lawn.

[Amake]

I guess it's dumb advice because it's directed at the wrong group of people. Idiots by definition aren't responsible for being idiots; they're not doing anything wrong. It's people around them who're failing to educate them. Let's change it to "Help people to not be idiots." Or why not "Help people".

[Nikose Tyris]

No matter what you do, you're going to die. Keep this in mind in all future endeavors.

[Azisien]

Pull up your goddamn pants and get off my lawn.

Fine I'll get off your lawn but you should be happy I'm wearing pants at all!

[BitVyper]

I dunno, when someone is wilfully ignorant of anything difficult, I pretty much consider that idiocy their own responsibility. Same goes for lack of studying, and not trying to better oneself.

[stefan]

never set absinthe on fire.

[Funka Genocide]

Tequila might help make children, but it's not very helpful in raising them.

[Amake]

I dunno, when someone is wilfully ignorant of anything difficult, I pretty much consider that idiocy their own responsibility. Same goes for lack of studying, and not trying to better oneself. But that's not being an idiot. Lazy, scared or weak maybe, or some combination of those.

Pointless edit: I've learned the proper escalation of retardation goes moron > imbecile > idiot. Try not to imagine the following fight:
Alice: You're a moron.
Bob: You're an imbecile.
Alice: You're an idiot.
Bob! Oh snap!

[BitVyper]

But that's not being an idiot. Lazy, scared or weak maybe, or some combination of those.

It's being an idiot due to your own apathy.

[Amake]

It looks like I'm using the word "idiot" to mean uneducated, unaware or ignorant, while you use it to cover jerks, asshats, shortsighted and generally unimaginative people. And in psychology it's about mental disabilities. Such discord. >_>

[McTahr]

Man. I got a new one:
Don't argue semantics in fake advice threads. It only makes you look like a huge nerd. :D

[Ecks]

Man. I got a new one:
Don't argue semantics in fake advice threads. It only makes you look like a huge nerd. :D

Says the guy posting in an advice thread on a board for a webcomic based on a Squeenix JRPG. ;)

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

never set absinthe on fire.


Goddamnit now I'm gona have to try setting absinthe on fire! That was terrible advice.

[stefan]

Goddamnit now I'm gona have to try setting absinthe on fire! That was terrible advice.

seriously though, if you're going to set absinthe on fire you've either wasted money on a shitty bottle of oilmix or you're about to completely and utterly ruin a $70 bottle of alcohol in the stupidest fashion possible.

[BitVyper]

It looks like I'm using the word "idiot" to mean uneducated, unaware or ignorant

Exactly the same meaning I'm using. Hell, I even used the word "ignorant" and referred to education.

And in psychology it's about mental disabilities.

It doesn't really get used much in modern psychology to my knowledge. I'm fairly certain "idiot savant" has been replaced with just "savantism" or something on those lines.

Don't argue semantics in fake advice threads. It only makes you look like a huge nerd.

Thread title doesn't say "fake." Also define "nerd." And what does being huge have to do with it?

[Odjn]

It looks like I'm using the word "idiot" to mean uneducated, unaware or ignorant, while you use it to cover jerks, asshats, shortsighted and generally unimaginative people. And in psychology it's about mental disabilities. Such discord. >_>

Is there a way to not view one person's posts?

[phil_]

Is there a way to not view one person's posts?User CP → Edit Ignore List. It's right there on the left. Judicious usage has helped my sanity in the past.

[Funka Genocide]

Don't drink too much alcohol.

[Odjn]

Don't drink too much alcohol.

Lies, drugs are good for you.

[Funka Genocide]

Don't be "that guy"

(its a little late for some of you)

[PyrosNine]

Fire can kill anything and everything, including fire, if you use enough.

Also, your pets can tell when you've been looking at porn, and they are filled with disgust. Ceiling Cat and Floor Dog are merely the messengers.

[Toastburner B]

The best piece of advice I've ever heard:

If you drop your keys into a river of lava, don't go after them, man. They are gone.

[BitVyper]

If you drop your keys into a river of lava, don't go after them, man. They are gone.

Yeah, maybe if you're some kind of pansy who can't handle a little lava.

Is there a way to not view one person's posts?

Wha? I don't think anything in this thread is really that serious, man.

[Funka Genocide]

Everyone on the internet is always, completely and totally serious.

[Nique]

Everyone on the internet is always, completely and totally serious.

My next piece of advice is, you could say, inspired by Funka Genocide's post;

Funka Genocide is trying to sabotage your sanity. Please don't listen to him.

[Amake]

Is there a way to not view one person's posts?
Are you asking me how to ignore my posts? That's pretty funny. . .

[Si Civa]

Anywho. If you have low expectations, then nothing is dissappointing!

That's not how pessimism works. Thanks for ruining my low expectations of you and your understanding of art we call pessimism. Psssst, I'm not an angry old man.


Hey, there's a glass, and the question is: "is it half empty or half full?"
And the answer is: "It's half full liquid that tastes horrible and I've to drink it. After I've drunk it I wish I were dying but I won't die, because world hates me. And hey, it isn't medicine.."

Needless to say that I'm just an apprentice in the art of pessimism. Sad isn't it?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

User CP → Edit Ignore List. It's right there on the left. Judicious usage has helped my sanity in the past.

Holy fuck. This means I can turn every thread into a testament to my own greatness.

[Sir Pinkleton]

That's not how pessimism works. Thanks for ruining my low expectations of you and your understanding of art we call pessimism. Psssst, I'm not an angry old man.


Hey, there's a glass, and the question is: "is it half empty or half full?"
And the answer is: "It's half full liquid that tastes horrible and I've to drink it. After I've drunk it I wish I were dying but I won't die, because world hates me. And hey, it isn't medicine.."

Needless to say that I'm just an apprentice in the art of pessimism. Sad isn't it?

I didn't even use the word pessimism, man. My argument is still valid for the moment.

Get your own soap box! >:(

EDIT: Like, say I'm going to eat a burger. I'll think, "The bread might be soggy, the meat will be old, and the vegetables will be soggy. Let's just get through it then."
And then you eat it and it's not that bad. Then, you are thankful, and feel better about eating the burger, whereas normally you'd only have the satisfaction of having something occupying your stomach. Oh, but here's another piece of advice, backed by science too.

Pessimism doesn't get you much.

[Si Civa]

Pessimism doesn't get you much.

That's what I was implying. :p

[Sir Pinkleton]

That's what I was implying. :p

Another piece of advice:

Just say what you mean. Unless you're flirting.

[Funka Genocide]

Never trust a man in a robe that isn't terrycloth. Even then, dependent on circumstance, it might serve you to be wary.

[krogothwolf]

Never let a 8 day old baby withing 10 feet of a console controller, or they will somehow figure out a way to get some throw up on it.

[Funka Genocide]

Don't grow a beard.

[Kim]

Don't grow a beard.

Whoops.

[Nique]

Whoops.

Now you're in for it.

Alternativly, you could follow my brand of beard advice: Grow a beard. See? Problem solved.

[Nightshine]

Don't ever associate yourself with America.

[bluestarultor]

Don't ever associate yourself with America.

Seriously, actually. If you're in a foreign country and American and some little kid runs up and asks if you're American, tell them you're from Canada.

Nobody takes Canadian hostages.

[Nightshine]

Seriously, actually. If you're in a foreign country and American and some little kid runs up and asks if you're American, tell them you're from Canada.

Nobody takes Canadian hostages.

Well, it's less likely. I think it was like 2 years ago when a bunch of Canadians were held hostage by terrorists. They were set free though.

[bluestarultor]

Well, it's less likely. I think it was like 2 years ago when a bunch of Canadians were held hostage by terrorists. They were set free though.

By asking nicely? :p


(I can't help but feel Americans would do better if they had Canadians' reputation. :sweatdrop)

[Professor Smarmiarty]

We'll let you be like canada but you've got to rescind indepedence first.

[bluestarultor]

We'll let you be like canada but you've got to rescind indepedence first.

Don't worry, Smarty. I'm sure your government would love to become the 51st-54th states. :p

[pochercoaster]

Don't marry an American. The imperial system is frustrating.

[Funka Genocide]

Don't marry an American. The imperial system is frustrating.

Don't try to give distances in miles to a canadian.

[Sir Pinkleton]

Do favors for strangers, and they'll be more likely to help you.

Also, if you're in trouble and need help, and you're in a crowd, single one person out and ask for help. Otherwise you'll likely be ignored.

[BitVyper]

Do favors for strangers, and they'll be more likely to help you.

Also it helps advance the plot and open new sidequests.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Don't try to give distances in miles to a canadian.
Instead of "Canadian" you could say "anyone except USAmericans and some people from two or so other, third world, countries."

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Don't try to give distances in miles to a canadian.

Don't be behind the rest of the world cause you are too lazy to change your road signs?

Don't worry, Smarty. I'm sure your government would love to become the 51st-54th states. :p

Well clearly the government would but that's because they are power-hungry and also stupid.

[Ecks]

We'll let you be like canada but you've got to rescind indepedence first.

I've got to wonder if there is any real truth in this. For all of our vaunted "freedom" what do we have to show for it? Think about that for a second.

And also, before the conservatives start asking people to spy on me because "oh noes, he thinks for hisself" I am not a communist dissenter.

[MasterOfMagic]

Don't be behind the rest of the world cause you are too lazy to change your road signs?
In our defense, its a lot of road signs.

[Premmy]

Sharpies, bitch.

[Ecks]

Sharpies, bitch.

No, you're not seeing the bigger picture.

Spray paint. THAT'S how you change a road sign. At least it is in my neck of the woods.

[Funka Genocide]

Nobody cares if you're British.

[Ecks]

Nobody cares if you're British.

http://imgur.com/Cn3X6.jpg

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Well at least America has its principles in sticking to the imperial system unlike the British who made all the colonies change and then half changed to the metric but left all the road signs in imperial because too lazy to change them. It's half assed fence sitting that we would expect from the Italians.

[Ecks]

Well at least America has its principles in sticking to the imperial system unlike the British who made all the colonies change and then half changed to the metric but left all the road signs in imperial because too lazy to change them. It's half assed fence sitting that we would expect from the Italians.

Oh god, we're going multinational now... I thought we were just going to keep this between Britain and it's I mean former.

[MasterOfMagic]

No, you're not seeing the bigger picture.

Spray paint. THAT'S how you change a road sign. At least it is in my neck of the woods.
Over here we put funky turtles on them.

[Ecks]

Over here we put funky turtles on them.

That sounds absolutely delightful. Might I inquire as to where this magical land of wonder and whim is?

[Inbred Chocobo]

Women can never be satisfied.

They can not. Do not try to satisfy them. It is as true as the Earth is round, gravity is what holds you to the Earth, and people are stupid.

Any satisfaction shown is lies and deciet so that you continue your feeble attempts at satisfaction.

Know this, and you will be a much happier person.

[Funka Genocide]

Women are satisfied so long as they believe it was their idea.

[Krylo]

Only fools are satisfied.

[Funka Genocide]

Snickers satisfies.

[Premmy]

Women can never be satisfied.

They can not. Do not try to satisfy them. It is as true as the Earth is round, gravity is what holds you to the Earth, and people are stupid.

Any satisfaction shown is lies and deciet so that you continue your feeble attempts at satisfaction.

Know this, and you will be a much happier person.

Women are satisfied so long as they believe it was their idea.
Any and all "advice" you hear about women is bullshit.

[Funka Genocide]

Any and all "advice" you hear about women is bullshit.

Insomuch as all overly-generalized, stereotype derived advice is bullshit... this is correct.

[Mike McC]

Never pass up an opportunity to swing standing up.

[Nightshine]

If you ever want to earn the Nobel Peace Prize...


...Shut down Fox News :3

[Token]

http://imgur.com/Cn3X6.jpg

Isn't Mike Myers Canadian?

[bluestarultor]

Always make nice to your teachers, or find some way to make yourself memorable. It not only is good to help them remember you and help you stand out while you're there, but it can help make you memorable in the future, and you never know when that might pay off.

I personally got a grade from three years ago corrected, and it was wonderful talking with her again.

[Geminex]

Always make out with your teachers, or find some way to make yourself memorable. It not only is good to help them remember you and help you stand out while you're there, but it can help make you memorable in the future, and you never know when that might pay off.

I personally got a grade from three years ago corrected, and it was wonderful "talking" with her again.

Fixed that for you.
^^

[Nique]

lol innuendo

[Premmy]

In YO' Endo!

[Bob The Mercenary]

Spray paint. THAT'S how you change a road sign. At least it is in my neck of the woods.

If you're ever traveling through NJ on I-80, you'll notice Exit 42C has been changed to Exit 420.

[Aklyon]

a person is smart.
people are dumb.
the Internet is genius though, because there are too many people and they made the dumbness loop back around to smart.

[PyrosNine]

There is no problem that can't be fixed with the proper application of explosives. You just need some creative thinking as what to blow up, or whether to blow them up.

Girlfriend leaving you? 30 bags of fertilizer and other ingredients put in your competition's basement, and one quick anonymous call to the authorities, and he's under arrest. Better yet, the ordinance can be remote detonated to "accidently" go off before bomb squad can arrive, and no doubt left in anyone's mind that he was building a bomb. You remove all trace of your involvement, and after she suffers the heartache that her new boytoy was a terrorist, you swing in and are all like, "Man, is it true that your boyfriend was in the IRA or something?"

[Darth SS]

If someone says "Hang on," they probably need you to wait a second. Not that hard, but very valuable.


Also, where possible force people to argue face to face. It's way harder to get angry at someone when you're looking at them and they're being civil.


Finally: Having lots of Josh Groban and Michael Buble on your iPod is never a bad thing. EVER.

[Amake]

a person is smart.
people are dumb.
the Internet is genius though, because there are too many people and they made the dumbness loop back around to smart. When you think about it people only exist in the eye of the beholder. It's an illusion caused by distance: When you try to observe a number of people at the same time, you lose perspective of them as individuals and they appear as "people", which makes them stupid.

That means human stupidity is contingent on one's ability to distance oneself from, sum up and prejudice against others; dependent on how easily we fall for the very persuasive idea that other people are less capable of independent thought and in fact less self-realized individuals than ourselves.

That means if we understand that we're not automatically better than other people, if we take responsibility for our own perceptions, we can make the world better for everyone. I just blew my own mind. O_o

[Sir Pinkleton]

I just blew my own mind. O_o

Great. Now who's going to clean that up?

Also, I just read a book! So, for you, things!:

Develop the Gratitude Attitude
Having people list 3 things that they are grateful for in life or 3 events that have gone especially well over the past week can significantly increase their level of happiness for about a month. This, in turn, can cause them to be more optimistic about the future and can improve their physical health.

Be a giver
People become much happier after even the smallest acts of kindness. Those who give a few dollars to the needy, buy a small surprise gift for a loved one, onate blood, or help a friend are inclined to experience a fast-acting and significant boost in happiness

Hang a mirror in your kitchen
Placing a mirror in front of people when they are presented with different food options results in a remarkable 32 percent reduction in their consumption of unhealthy food. Seeing their own reflection makes them more aware of their body and more likely to eat food that is good for them.

Touch people lightly on The Upper Arm
Lightly touching someone on their upper arm makes them far more likely to agree to a request because the touch is unconsciously perceived as a sign of high status. In one dating study, the touch produced a 20 percent increase in the number of people who accepted an invitation to dance in a nightclub and a 10 percent increase in those who would give their telephone number to a stranger on the street.
And there's lots more in that book, too.

[Aklyon]

to get an optimist and a pessimist to agree, get a paper cup of water and just keep chopping the cup in half until they agree.

[Funka Genocide]

Don't be a pussy.

[Premmy]

Also Don't be a dick.
Or an ass
The best thing to be... is tits

[BitVyper]

Dodongo dislikes smoke.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

If somebody kills your best friend train in the mountains till you are able to kill them in return. Also get a robot sidekick.

[Geminex]

get a robot sidekick

This applies to every situation imaginable, in the entire universe, ever.

[Amake]

And there's lots more in that book, too. Great, now the secret is out and people will abuse it until arm touching becomes the new fake smile. e_e

[Si Civa]

Dodongo dislikes smoke.

Wait, wait, this raises a question. Why doesn't Link smoke cigarettes?

[Krylo]

Link dislikes lung cancer, and doesn't feel the high from tobacco is worth it.

He prefers drinking.

[Amake]

If Link doesn't smoke then why is he so short?

Funny sidestory: I went to Google to look for a shot of Scrubs' Janitor serving smokacchinos to maybe somehow illustrate this post and ended up with a news story about Mini Me's sex tape and one about a 2½ years old smoker.

[Premmy]

Jessu CHRIST woman, you need to just give up on image posting, it always turns out bad for you.

[Jagos]

How the hell does she do that?

[Amake]

I am the left-handed (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=sinister) Google-fu master, apparently.

[Premmy]

She's the Pai-mei of Google-Fu!

[Kerensky287]

Funny sidestory: I went to Google to look for a shot of Scrubs' Janitor serving smokacchinos

2:27. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAb2OkwM638&feature=related)

This applies to every situation imaginable, in the entire universe, ever.

What if I need someone to carry a very large, very powerful electromagnet for me?

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

What if I need someone to carry a very large, very powerful electromagnet for me?


What, your robot sidekick isn't EM shielded? Pleb.

[Kim]

Also Don't be a dick.
Or an ass

What about a dickass?


Never have allergies. If you absolutely must have allergies, it is recommended you know what you're allergic to.

[bluestarultor]

Honesty is the the best policy.

If you don't speak up, people will assume you agree with them.

If your boss knows you, it's harder to make lies stick to you. You also get more clout when you say there's a problem.

Respect is earned.

Always be decent to everyone. Only focusing on the people you think are important indicates you have ulterior motives, and even the lowliest janitor is the one with the keys to the meeting rooms. Businesses are not run by the managers. The managers simply manage the workers running the business. If they didn't have an important job to do, they wouldn't be there.

[Archbio]

Bend the broken rule.

Break the symmetry.

Use the enemy.

Turn the outside in.

Tell the prophet it's the end.

[Magic_Marker]

Don't talk to the police. Citation (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4097602514885833865#)

[Premmy]

Don't talk to the police. Citation (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4097602514885833865#)

And if forced to talk to police, Follow these rules (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0mtxXEGE8)
but seriously, don't talk to the police longer then to say "Fuck yo momma" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73q9SBgcOYE)

[Amake]

As much as it's within your rights and probably your best interest to be a pain in the ass to the man, I believe in telling the truth. It's always worked the best for me in the long term. Being dishonest, or even holding back information, always bites you in the ass eventually, no matter how great the short term benefits may seem. Of course it helps that I don't have a choice, I'm actually incapable of telling lies. But I think I'm not entirely biased.

Funny story about telling the whole truth and withholding nothing, when my condition can be established scientifically I'm virtually untouchable. For some reason it's the right of every person in civilized countries to lie even under oath - I don't recall the wording and I can't find my source, but anything you say when influenced by anything that makes it hard for you to lie your ass off is inadmissible in court. If you cannot lie you may not speak either for or against yourself. I think it's mostly laws to prevent torturing confessions out of people, but truth serums, hypnosis and Wonder Woman's lasso of unvarnished truth are all equally useless in a legal sense.

[Premmy]

Funny story about stepping all over people's jokes, It's only fun when I do it.

[Amake]

Ooh, there was a joke? Maybe I should have checked those links more carefully. Meh, it was a good hard rant, I regret nothing.

[Premmy]

Damn you, Pai-mei!
http://www.lovehkfilm.com/reviews/ab3219/clan_of_the_white_lotus.jpg

[Archbio]

Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing: if you walk without rythm, you won't attract the Worm.

[Odjn]

Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing: if you walk without rythm, you won't attract the Worm.

That is, if you want to have sex with men, shake your booty when you walk.

[Wigmund]

Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing: if you walk without rythm, you won't attract the Worm.

If you walk with rhythm, you'll never learn (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7Ky5R-vxns)

[Premmy]

What about a dickass?


I'd Much rather be an Assdick, thank you, Premmy don't take nothin off of nobody.

[Funka Genocide]

Don't piss in my face and call it sunshine.