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Funka Genocide
02-10-2010, 04:38 PM
So I'm aware that a good portion of the usual posters around these parts are in their mid twenties (a few older still!) and so I thought I'd bring this topic up and see what everyone had to say about it.

Its become apparent to me since I left the military that meeting and "making" friends is nigh unto impossible. I suspect it's some mixture of inability to put up with annoying people, less time for socializing and a lack of an established friend group that make this so, but age has got to have something to do with it.

I'd just like to open up the table for discussion about making friends in your mid to late twenties. What kind of activities, places, tools(?) do you use? Or are you finding it as equally frustrating as I am?

Azisien
02-10-2010, 04:45 PM
Hit people with your car. Since you have to wait a while before such situations are cleared up, it's a great chance for socialization. You might meet a few assholes, but eventually someone nice will come along! And for the last time, don't hit to kill

bluestarultor
02-10-2010, 04:57 PM
I think the view you have on it is the wrong way around, Funka. You do activities YOU like and meet people who also happen to like them. If you like tennis, maybe you'll meet some guys on the next court over. If you like biking, join a cycling club of some sort.

From there, you'll meet people and can take your pick of who you like and might like to do other things with.

Funka Genocide
02-10-2010, 05:05 PM
I think the view you have on it is the wrong way around, Funka. You do activities YOU like and meet people who also happen to like them. If you like tennis, maybe you'll meet some guys on the next court over. If you like biking, join a cycling club of some sort.

From there, you'll meet people and can take your pick of who you like and might like to do other things with.

See that totally doesn't work when you enjoy things like anime, pen and paper rpgs and miniature wargaming.

People who enjoy that shit are the SCUM OF THE UNIVERSE! (present company excluded... maybe.)

Osterbaum
02-10-2010, 05:08 PM
Seriosly Blues, who enjoys biking and tennis?

Professor Smarmiarty
02-10-2010, 05:10 PM
Your local communist refuge is full of friendly individuals who would welcome you with open arms and a caring sense of comraderie and brotherhood.

Or go to the pub.

bluestarultor
02-10-2010, 05:10 PM
See that totally doesn't work when you enjoy things like anime, pen and paper rpgs and miniature wargaming.

People who enjoy that shit are the SCUM OF THE UNIVERSE! (present company excluded... maybe.)

Find an RP group? Do you have a local comic shop that holds card tournaments and stuff? Great place to go to find people with interests like yours.

Seriosly Blues, who enjoys biking and tennis?

Absolutely no one I'd let in 30 feet of me, personally, but they're the examples my mom's been drilling into my head for the past decade or so.

Azisien
02-10-2010, 05:12 PM
Find an RP group? Do you have a local comic shop that holds card tournaments and stuff? Great place to go to find people with interests like yours.

No no I think he meant he's tried that, but the people there are THE SCUM OF THE UNIVERSE!

And well, we pretty much are.

Funka Genocide
02-10-2010, 05:40 PM
It might be just because I'm an ornery fuck, but I'm working under the assumption that this is a surmountable obstacle.

To clarify my scum of the universe comment: your average "gamer nerd" is highly socially inept, not nearly as intelligent as he/she thinks he/she is and terribly self centered as a result of a misguided superiority complex. Now we just have to toss in poor personal hygiene and an almost religious aversion to treadmills and well...

I'm not saying there aren't people out there who are interested in highly nerdy activities and also baths, I'm just saying the likelihood of meeting a group of such persons at a comic book store is... low. In my experience, believe me I've tried.

As for the pub, well the pub is great when you bring your friends along, but all my old time buddies are flung across the far reaches of creation. So it'd really just be me showing up to a bunch of strangers getting drunk, and since I no longer pursue drinking as a hobby nor do I lack for romantic companionship, the pub (or bars, or clubs) seems like a complete waste of time. That's something to do once you have friends.

I'd also like to point out that I fully understand the inherent irony of posing such a question on an internet forum.

Professor Smarmiarty
02-10-2010, 05:53 PM
Go to like student pubs, especially during late afternoon early evening when the grad students are skiving off work. it's not about drinking, it about sitting aroud talking about shit with whoever else is there and they all collosal nerds. Like that's where I made most of my friends in new cities.

Funka Genocide
02-10-2010, 05:54 PM
Go to like student pubs, especially during late afternoon early evening when the grad students are skiving off work. it's not about drinking, it about sitting aroud talking about shit with whoever else is there and they all collosal nerds. Like that's where I made most of my friends in new cities.

You know that sounds like a good idea, but I doubt such wond'rous places exist in Las Vegas. Perhaps I should investigate.

Osterbaum
02-10-2010, 06:29 PM
Who the hell lives in Las Vegas?

Krylo
02-10-2010, 06:30 PM
Hookers, mostly.

Why else would he move there?

bluestarultor
02-10-2010, 06:34 PM
Hookers, mostly.

Why else would he move there?

Well, they also have fantastic tax rates. Mostly to encourage people to live there because a lot of them get scared off by the entire hookers thing when married.

krogothwolf
02-10-2010, 06:45 PM
Of course they have great tax rates! They figure you'll be more quiet about it if they just take the money from you by making you think you're "gambling".
I figured they'd start taxing hooker services by now though.

Professor Smarmiarty
02-10-2010, 06:46 PM
You're in Los Vegas? Take shit loads of cash to the casino and everyone will be your fried.

Hawk
02-10-2010, 07:23 PM
Or alternatively, buy a hooker. +1 Friend.

bluestarultor
02-10-2010, 07:26 PM
Or alternatively, buy a hooker. +1 Friend.

I can just imagine him buying a male prostitute and sitting down to play Halo with him or something. XD


MP: "So, what do you want me to do?"
Funka: "I was thinking maybe some Gears of War, or ODST, maybe?"

Nikose Tyris
02-10-2010, 07:59 PM
The hourly rate is NOT worth it.

Julford Hajime
02-10-2010, 08:16 PM
That's why you buy the ones that charge by the night, not the hour.

bluestarultor
02-10-2010, 08:20 PM
Man, you guys have no idea what people use whores for (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk9qKdYtF3U).

krogothwolf
02-10-2010, 09:12 PM
He could try hiring them and have them fight to the death!

Premmy
02-10-2010, 11:44 PM
Hookers are for kill'in, if you ain't kill'in hookers, you must be smoking Hookas.

Funka Genocide
02-11-2010, 12:12 AM
Hookers, much like bears, are not your friend. They have no soul and subsist mainly on the consumed innocence of their victims, which they transfer via genital contact to their clients, who feast upon such delicacies.

bluestarultor
02-11-2010, 12:13 AM
Hookers, much like bears, are not your friend. They have no soul and subsist mainly on the consumed innocence of their victims, which they transfer via genital contact to their clients, who feast upon such delicacies.

Man, I'd hate to meet one of the bears in your area.

synkr0nized
02-11-2010, 12:13 AM
Holy shit, this is my "old age"? I was expecting to have so much more time.

Funka Genocide
02-11-2010, 12:14 AM
I haven't even visited Japan yet!

Do not go there, it is a silly place.

Jagos
02-11-2010, 01:03 AM
You know that sounds like a good idea, but I doubt such wond'rous places exist in Las Vegas. Perhaps I should investigate.

Well why didn't you say so?

First, there's the anime convention that should be there during Jun/Jul for at least a weekend. Check into that. The last time I went, I was informed that it may not happen a lot anymore.

Second there's the Java house that's always playing jazz music over on Sahara on the east side of the strip.

Third, if you go out far enough there's a guy that runs a game shop with two big screen TVs. Game Over on South Nellis. When the anime convention came around, he was there and he's pretty cool. There's two owners. A black guy and a mexican guy with a lot of help. Nice displays and he can get a lot of games for you.

He could probably show you a few extra places depending on your tastes. OH! you even have Yoshinoya over there which is the BEST DAMN BEEF BOWL ever! PERIOD!

Other than that, I'm assuming you're by the base. I wish there were more places to go but FUCK going to the strip, man...

Funka Genocide
02-11-2010, 09:46 PM
yeah, the strip is such a hole. A brightly lit and gaudy hole but a hole nonetheless.

Jagos
02-11-2010, 10:15 PM
Yep (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym6nmGXyGL4&feature=related)

Amake
02-12-2010, 04:34 AM
Support groups is my solution. Get diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome or something, since you're asking this question on an internet forum you probably score pretty high, anyway it helps to have some kind of problem when you're looking for support groups. You will get professionals putting you in the right direction, and you'll have things in common with the people in the group. Heck, I've met around 80-100 people in this way in a four year period. That's how you meet friends.

Making and keeping friends is trickier. The key is to single out the one person in a hundred who tolerates you when you put away all facades and things you do to get people to like you; "be yourself" as it were. Be yourself as loudly as possible and don't be afraid to drive people away. Those who can stand you when you're at your worst will be your friends for life.

It can be useful to formalize the formation of your friendship, just so you're clear about what you're offering and what you want. Be unapologetically and shockingly honest. Say you're lonely, you haven't made a friend in so many years, you don't know how, but it would mean everything to you if you two could be friends. If you're a guy talking to a girl it helps to make clear you're not going to pretend to be her friend so you can eventually get in her pants; a friend is simply more important to you than a lover. (It helps even more if that is actually true.)

Then, if you start seeing each other outside of the group, it's going to sound like you're pursuing a romantic relationship anyway. Make time to see your new buddy at least two or three times a week. Call just to ask how they are. Go to the movies, to the park, anything. Make up romantic spontaneous little surprises and games. Surprise snowball/pillow/food fights are great, as long as you don't shoot to wound. Abuse Sir Pinkleton's advice from the other thread and touch their upper arm, maybe just to say "Tag, you're it". If they have some sort of lifestyle problem that you think you can solve by giving advice, don't do that; but if they have some problem that you can help with your hands, like moving house, that's a great opportunity for you to prove your loyalty. Action speaks louder than words, as it were.

Be not afraid to put all the time, space, money and emotions you possibly can into this relationship. You're at the bonding stage, and you want the bond to last. And it's not like there's a specific point when you can relax and let the relationship take care of itself; it'll always need feeding and nurturing. Or I dunno, maybe it'll grow slowly and in 20 years it'll pretty much have its own life. But if you've been nice to it it'll still call you and when the two of you grow old it'll be there to help you.

Damn, I've got to see my friends now.

Osterbaum
02-12-2010, 04:48 AM
I always find new friends by joining different groups. For example: I have my childhood friends from before elementary until basically high-school. Then I have my high-school friends, my kendo friends, my uni. biology friends, my uni. representative / university politics friends etc. The point being that each "group of friends" originates from a different activity / group.

Funka Genocide
02-12-2010, 11:41 AM
IQ, you're a crazy person. No, just very no.

And yes, I've followed that model myself Oster, but it kind of hit a stumbling block when I went from navy to jobs where everyone is at least 10years older than me. At my job right now I think there are 2 or 3 people in their early 30s, and that's the closest to my age group.

CelesJessa
02-12-2010, 11:52 AM
Pretty much what Oster said although I just kind of let it happen. I'm not the type to go hunting for friends. They just happen naturally as you get involved in different classes/jobs/hobbies/etc.

Although I'm not in my mid-to-late 20s so I don't know if I count. XD

Funka Genocide
02-12-2010, 12:03 PM
hardly any of you people are in the actual "look at me I have a career and a mortgage" bracket, ha ha.

College is like the undisputed best place to meet interesting people. unfortunately my college days were on the cheap at community and online courses where everyone else in the class was a single mother in her late 30s.

Maybe I'll just take up dancing and pretend to be gay.

pochercoaster
02-12-2010, 12:06 PM
Hookers, mostly.

Why else would he move there?

Or maybe it has to do with his career? >_>

How come no one's mentioned building an android yet? It's the most obvious solution.

Living in a village with a population smaller than a high school makes having a social life difficult. As far as I can see the easiest way to make friends is through school. Failing that you have to put in some effort and take up a hobby.

Or you can just not care and become an enlightened hermit.

Osterbaum
02-12-2010, 12:39 PM
hardly any of you people are in the actual "look at me I have a career and a mortgage" bracket, ha ha.
And I never will be! I'm a rebel! A revolutionary!

Magic_Marker
02-12-2010, 01:14 PM
I went from navy to jobs where everyone is at least 10years older than me. At my job right now I think there are 2 or 3 people in their early 30s, and that's the closest to my age group.

That's kind of like the holl I dug for myself at my job. It's kind of hard to relate to my co-workers when, having babies and rasing of said babies and aren't teenagers just annoying I know mine won't listen to me, is the dominate topic.

Professor Smarmiarty
02-12-2010, 01:17 PM
And I never will be! I'm a rebel! A revolutionary!

Amateur!

Lyaer
02-12-2010, 07:31 PM
You could try MeetUp or similar to find groups to join with whatever interest. Las Vegas is a big enough city that you should have some variety to choose from within whatever topics you imagine might attract tolerable people.

I've met some decent sorts, that way, though my problem is always making time to keep up with group events, so I can't share any long term success stories on that front.

Wigmund
02-12-2010, 07:41 PM
How come no one's mentioned building an android yet? It's the most obvious solution.

That never ends well.
7135

Amake
02-13-2010, 03:16 AM
IQ, you're a crazy person. No, just very no.
You say that like being crazy is a bad thing.

Premmy
02-13-2010, 11:44 AM
IQ, you're a crazy person. No, just very no.You don't want to Insult crazy people on these forums, FunkaYou say that like being crazy is a bad thing.
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