Where'd that guy go, you know, the one with the face

[Azisien]

That Fifthfiend guy.

Was I busy the weekend he went crazy and murdered a buncha people?

Or is his disappearance and DFM's reappearance a little too convenient?

[DFM]

Oh shit.

[Mirai Gen]

DFM ate him.

Now everyone can stop asking.

[Geminex]

I TOTALLY called it!

http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=1011632&postcount=17

[Flarecobra]

And Fifth has been on here today too.

[Premmy]

Attention NPF:
Get off Fifth's Dick, let the man breathe, Jeez.

[Archbio]

I'm getting mixed metaphors there, Premonitions.

[Odjn]

Oh shit.

Should I go get the shovel and the truck?

[Kim]

After being demoted Fifth decided to take a vacation, and found he actually really quite enjoyed having time to do actual work at work instead of posting on an internets forum. As such I think he's more or less quit the forums, but lurks around a bit still.


There. Now we can talk about other things, like that Azisien is probably a diseased hobo.

[The Wandering God]

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWwUJH70ubM)

[Ryanderman]

I miss Fifth.

It used to be when I entered discussions, I'd be met with Fifth's contempt laced with biting humor and poignant insights. Now I just get Archbio's contempt. Not quite the same.

[Azisien]

Attention NPF:
Get off Fifth's Dick, let the man breathe, Jeez.

But how then will I spread my hobo diseases?

[Premmy]

I miss Fifth.

It used to be when I entered discussions, I'd be met with Fifth's contempt laced with biting humor and poignant insights. Now I just get Archbio's contempt. Not quite the same.

I'm contemptable and Insightful, but not humorous..... If you dorks would'nt be so easy to hate, I might be.
But how then will I spread my hobo diseases?Hobos=Homeless People on Trains: Homeless people=Zombies

So bite people on trains.

[Funka Genocide]

Stockholm syndrome in full effect.

(I almost said Münchausen syndrome, which would have entailed all manner of hilarious connotations, yet been completely inapplicable.)

Edit: Yes, yes you are contemptible Prems, although I do not think that word means what you think it does.

[Ryanderman]

I'm contemptable and Insightful, but not humorous..... If you dorks would'nt be so easy to hate, I might be.

I don't generally get involved in arguments with you in discussions though. Not sure why that is. I'm sure the time will come.

[Premmy]

Edit: Yes, yes you are contemptible Prems, although I do not think that word means what you think it does.


It means exactly what I think it means, I'm a hateful fucker and none of you should try to befriend me.

[Funka Genocide]

It means exactly what I think it means, I'm a hateful fucker and none of you should try to befriend me.


The definition is actually more akin to "deserving of disdain."

It doesn't denote your penchant for vitriol, it simply labels you as one fitting for contempt.

http://blogsap.files.wordpress.com/2006/10/nbc_the_more_you_know.jpg

[Premmy]

Hence the "Cannibal" bit.

[Osterbaum]

Atleast you're truly hated. Something I can only dream of.

[Premmy]

Atleast you're truly hated. Something I can only dream of.

Osterbaum.......
I don't hate you at all, in fact I find you a rather charming fellow.

[Wigmund]

It means exactly what I think it means, I'm a hateful fucker and none of you should try to befriend me.

Too late for me, but maybe the others can be spared.

[bluestarultor]

I actually talked with Fifth. He said he's done posting and only comes back if someone IMs him about something big around here or to use the posting function to convert links and such into usable formats for elsewhere. Or by accident, since NPF still is near the top of his links list.


On one hand, I feel like I'm disrespecting his privacy by saying that, but on the other, it might be worthwhile to toe my own morals a bit if it gives everyone else peace of mind.

[Eldezar]

You all suck AIDs infested monkey balls.

I believe this to be relevent to the topic at hand.

[Fifthfiend]

Incredibly busy with my new long-term career as a magical fairy princess.

None of you are invited.

[krogothwolf]

Incredibly busy with my new long-term career as a magical fairy princess.

None of you are invited.

That's not what you said last night!

[Mirai Gen]

There, now everyone can stop asking.

[Ravashak]

There, now everyone can stop asking.

For five seconds?

[Meister]

"new"

[Kim]

Incredibly busy with my new long-term career as a magical fairy princess.

None of you are invited.

Go away.

[Fifthfiend]

"new"

Hey fuck you I totally earned that promotion from secular fairy princess.

[Token]

Hey fuck you I totally earned that promotion from secular fairy princess.

Blowjobs = earning now?

[Fifthfiend]

Blowjobs = earning now?

What I find revolting is that you ever considered blowjobs not earning.

[POS Industries]

So are there different types of magical fairy princesses? You know, to cover different types of magic. Like you have nature magic fairies, arcane magic fairies, Orlando magic fairies, etc.

Though I guess a necromantic magical fairy princess would just be this little ball of Hot Topic.

[Token]

What I find revolting is that you ever considered blowjobs not earning.

Not unless you swallow.

[Fifthfiend]

So are there different types of magical fairy princesses? You know, to cover different types of magic. Like you have nature magic fairies, arcane magic fairies, Orlando magic fairies, etc.

Though I guess a necromantic magical fairy princess would just be this little ball of Hot Topic.

Ugh, you magical fairy racist.

[POS Industries]

Ugh, you magical fairy racist.
Sir, I'll have you know that my treatment of the issue was far more progressive than that of the very comic these forums were initially based around! At least I'm not calling it "black magic" or "red magic" or "ching ching nip nong ding dong yerrow magic" like that racist bastard Clevinger.

Not unless you swallow.
Oh please. That's the easy way.

Taking it in the face is kind of a bitch to clean up and you risk getting it in your eye or hair or something, which is just annoying.

[Token]

After practicing my blowjobs every day for five years, I can safely say that swallowing is much less fun than a facial. Neither is particularly awesome, mind you, but yeah.

[POS Industries]

After practicing my blowjobs every day for five years
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/data3.jpg

[Token]

That came out wrong.
To elaborate, I can blow myself.

[POS Industries]

That came out wrong.
To elaborate, I can blow myself.
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/TMI.jpg

[Token]

I try. http://i47.tinypic.com/35d3p53.jpg

[Fifthfiend]

I always said that first thing that comes to mind when someone says "Fifthfiend," is how Token can fellate himself.

[Token]

It sure as hell is now.

[Archbio]

There, now everyone can stop asking.

It's a shame that the possibility of everyone stopping before everyone starts will never come around again. Damn the linear nature of time.

[krogothwolf]

I always said that first thing that comes to mind when someone says "Fifthfiend," is how Token can fellate himself.

Just seeing your name makes me think of that now. :(

I always assumed that you were away plotting the downfall of all that is good and holy. Guess I was wrong though, now that you're a damn magical fairy!

[Pip Boy]

It sure as hell is now.

Whatever this thread used to be about, it sure as hell isn't about that now.

HOW DO YOU DO THIS? GOD THE PAIN!

[Token]

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?

Well, first I sit on the edge of my bed, then I bend over...

[krogothwolf]

Well, first I sit on the edge of my bed, then I bend over...

I always figured you'd just kind of roll into a ball on the floor.

[POS Industries]

Well, first I sit on the edge of my bed, then I bend over...
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/stop.jpg

[Token]

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/stop.jpg

http://i49.tinypic.com/wtx26p.jpg

[Wigmund]

Well, first I sit on the edge of my bed, then I bend over...

If you have this powerful talent, why would you ever leave home?

[Token]

If you have this powerful talent, why would you ever leave home?

To get some Kleenex.

[Green Spanner]

To get some Kleenex.

Surely you shouldn't need it, except maybe to catch that stray dribble...

[Token]

Surely you shouldn't need it, except maybe to catch that stray dribble...

PROTIP: Just because you can multitask while polishing your pole doesn't mean you should. Especially if you aren't really paying attention.

[Ecks]

Two things:

One. This is the greatest thread ever. I died laughing for over five minutes.

Two. Token, you are instantly and forever my favorite person on NPF. I can't remember the last time I saw anyone make e-retorts with the ebb and flow of humor that seems to come so naturally to you. But uh... that autofelatio thing? Keep it to yourself... kinda too late now that its out in the open but... yeah.

Also. Fifth, fuck you and the horse you left NPF on. Shit's been dying down since your particular brand of asshaberdashery vanished from the boards.

[Azisien]

Wow this is like the ninth thread about genitalia in two weeks! Not only has Fifthfiend appeared to answer my sincere question (kind of?), but it's making perfect sense why he got the hell out of here!

Cool!

[Bob The Mercenary]

Wow this is like the ninth thread about genitalia in two weeks!

Posers.

[Token]

Posers.

You're obviously just jealous.

[McTahr]

To be fair, there's an entire kid's series (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?WRD=rainbow+magic&box=rainbow%20mag&pos=0) dedicated to chronicling all the kinds of magical fairies.

I think Fifth was the St. Patrick's day version.

[Loyal]

The Bottle Fairy? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BottleFairy)

[BitVyper]

You're not supposed to show up until either people drift apart and move on, they hold a funeral for you, or they descend into squabbling factions in need of leadership. Or some combination of the three.

Other dramatically appropriate moments are possible, but "hey, where's Fifth? Also Token is a sin against nature" is not one of them. That means you're either a clone/imposter or you managed to bungle your own entrance. Given your track record, I'm guess it's the latter.

[Token]

Also Token is a sin against nature"

Words can hurt like a fist.

[BitVyper]

Words can hurt like a fist.

Really?


.....Do they leave evidence? Like, if I keep telling you what a revolting person you are, will you have bruises or some kind of word-print to show the police, or is this a metaphorical thing?

How big of a fist?

[Mike McC]

Once the Cult of Fifthfeind is created I'm gettin' the fuck outta here. All I'm sayin'.

[Loyal]

If I remember right you already "got the fuck outta here" once before.

Besides, if this thread is any indication it may be too late for creating such a Cult.

[Geminex]

Well, my friend, I am afraid it is faaar too late for that...

THROW HIM INTO THE SACRIFICAL RAPTOR PIT! HIS BLOOD WILL URGE THE TROLL OF TROLLS TO RETURN!

Words can hurt like a fist.

This intrigues me also. How much can they hurt? And more importantly, what effects does this pain have? If we tell you how little we like you, would the shock of our hatred actually kill you? Can we do that? Kill you with words? Please?

[Mike McC]

If I remember right you already "got the fuck outta here" once before.That was more 'quietly meandered away to other lands'. It had none of the... urgency that this emergent situation may potentially demand.THROW HIM INTO THE SACRIFICAL RAPTOR PIT! HIS BLOOD WILL URGE THE TROLL OF TROLLS TO RETURN!I thought I was considered the trolliest around here.

[Token]

Well, my friend, I am afraid it is faaar too late for that...

THROW HIM INTO THE SACRIFICAL RAPTOR PIT! HIS BLOOD WILL URGE THE TROLL OF TROLLS TO RETURN!



This intrigues me also. How much can they hurt? And more importantly, what effects does this pain have? If we tell you how little we like you, would the shock of our hatred actually kill you? Can we do that? Kill you with words? Please?

You could try, but I'm relatively certain that I can live purely out of spite.

[Bob The Mercenary]

You could try, but I'm relatively certain that I can live purely out of spite.

Looks like we've found Fifth's alt account.

[Token]

Looks like we've found Fifth's alt account.

I'm not sure if I should feel honored or offended.

[Geminex]

That's exactly what I was thinking.

1: Horrible horribleness. Also, horrible.
1.1: Particularly his puns
1.2: And his abuse of poor Joey. What'd the guy ever do to you?

2: Self-depreciating
2.1: I mean seriously, Asshat?
2.2: Despite this just more unlikeable

3: Sucks own dick
3.1: Quite well, actually. Kid's got talent.

See? Fifthfiend.

[Mike McC]

I'm not sure if I should feel honored or offended.Offended. Also: Very very concerned.

[Token]

Offended. Also: Very very concerned.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with concerned.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

1: Horrible horribleness. Also, horrible.
1.1: Particularly his puns
1.2: And his abuse of poor Joey. What'd the guy ever do to you?

2: Self-depreciating
2.1: I mean seriously, Asshat?
2.2: Despite this just more unlikeable

3: Sucks own dick
3.1: Quite well, actually. Kid's got talent.

See? Fifthfiend.

1. I have a PHD in horribleness.
1.1 My puns are amazing I don't know what you're talking about
1.2 I'd like to point out that I have left out a good chunk of the times he's called me. It's never anything interesting, either. It's always: "I STILL CAN'T WIN ON THE SECOND ROUTE LAWLZ"

2. I'm far too awesome to be self-depreciating.
2.1 Asshat is the best name.
2.2 I know you are but what am I?

3. ...I have no counter to that one.
3.1 I've had a long time to practice.

Besides, I couldn't be Fifth. I'm British.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

This is NPF in its purest, most filthy form.

[POS Industries]

Looks like we've found Fifth's alt account.
There's a delightful irony to this statement that I'm not going to let you all in on.

It's funnier this way. For me.

[Mike McC]

There's a delightful irony to this statement that I'm not going to let you all in on.

It's funnier this way. For me.So, not funny at all?

[POS Industries]

So, not funny at all?
Well, nobody cares if you laugh.

[Mike McC]

Well, nobody cares if you laugh.Your reply was posted at the speed of sad.

[Geminex]

I totally care! I want to see the multicolored abomination laugh!

[Loyal]

We all know that the only one who spends (or spent) nearly as much time here as Fifth was POS.

[Geminex]

That's a good point. Has anyone ever seen them online together?

[bluestarultor]

That's a good point. Has anyone ever seen them online together?

Given I, myself, have been on all day, every day, for the past three years, I can only say yes, but with the 15-minute logout leeway, that means about jack shit, and besides that, I used to do the same thing elsewhere just using different browsers.

[Geminex]

We could totally investigate this, see whether the times they were online and offline match up. An example that comes to mind is fifth's vacation, see if POS posted anything during that time.

Of course, this is likely all bullshit and I'm not gonna spend any amount of my life comparing post dates.

Though if anyone's really, REALLY intrigued by POS's comment, I invite them to.

[Fifthfiend]

I'm dutifully impressed by how awkwardly sad and disgusting NPF can become over the course of a day. It truly warms the cockles of being. Even below the cockles, the sub-cockle area, if you will.

[Premmy]

Nothing better than warm balls

[POS Industries]

I'm dutifully impressed by how awkwardly sad and disgusting NPF can become over the course of a day. It truly warms the cockles of being. Even below the cockles, the sub-cockle area, if you will.
And we all know how much of a sucker you are for cockles.

[Geminex]

Not to mention that he's an asshole (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTVpxxzb2Dc&feature=related)

[Kim]

I hate this thread and everyone who has posted in it.

[Osterbaum]

I vuw this thread and everyone who has posted in it.

[Green Spanner]

I am ambivalent to this thread and everyone who has posted in it.

[POS Industries]

I am this thread and everyone who has posted in it.

[Marc v4.0]

I verb this thread and everyone who has verbed in it

[Geminex]

I make sweet, sweet love to this thread and anyone who has ever posted in it.

[Premmy]

I hate this lame running gag and everyone who contributed to it.

[Kim]

I am this thread and everyone who has posted in it.

"POS, remember how your parents 'accidentally' died of carbon monoxide poisoning?"

"...Yes?"

"I am your parents!"

[Osterbaum]

I am your children.

[Borealis]

I am your children's parents and your children's parent's children.

[Meister]

the one with the face
I just want to point out that there's never been any conclusive proof.

[Pip Boy]

Obviously Fifthfiend is Dennis Leary, who has a face.

[Revising Ocelot]

Faces are overrated. Go for random appendages of the tentacular nature instead, it's harder for people to say "you've got your mother's eyes" that way. Because you ate them. (both eyeballs and people)

[Whomper]

Where'd that Viper Daimao guy go? You know? The one with the face. That guy was pretty cool.

[Azisien]

He's probably in the cock-sucking land of cunt punting vulva vulva vulva vulva blowjob insinuation

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

[Osterbaum]

Lame.

[Azisien]

Lame.

Exactly my thinking!

[Archbio]

Finely crafted parody if I ever saw it!

[The Wandering God]

So yeah, this thread is going to be closed soon.

In summation, Fifthfiend is a pretty cool guy, he is angry and insightful and doesn't afraid of anything.

[Osterbaum]

So yeah, this thread is going to be closed soon.
Not if we don't let them close it!

[A Zarkin' Frood]

No thread on this world can last forever. Nothing is eternal.
What do you intend to do? A thread sit-in? They'll lock you into this thread and they'll never let you out.
Don't do anything stupid.

[Osterbaum]

I will shackle myself to this thread! In the name of justice!

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I admire your spirit. But think it over for a second. What can you do locked inside this thread? Won't you be able to do more for justice as a free man?
A small group of people fighting the power won't do anything. To bring about a change you must become the power.

[Osterbaum]

Never compromise!

[Green Spanner]

Never compromise!

Not even in the face of armageddon?

[Osterbaum]

Not even in the face of a thread closing! And armageddon!

[McTahr]

Shut your face holes.

:D