Two great armies clash...

[Bells]

Hypothetical scenario...

it's a huge Plain field. Very few trees, around 3 pm, no hills or holes.

On one side you have 30 Brown bears being used as Mounts. On top of them, a Warrior and a Archer. The Warrior carries light armor and a Simple Long sword and a small shield. The Archer has a large crossbow and hard leather armor.

Behind them there are 10 Battle Giraffes, all in full battle armor. On their heads you have a Halfling spellcaster, and on their backs you got a cleric and a ranger. All in light armor.

On the other side, you have 25 Silverback Gorillas, in heavy battle armor, all mounted by Rangers that carry Magical bows that shoot fire, lighting and ice in random order, there is also 5 Griffins mounted by Circus Jugglers with Bowie knifes.

So... these two armies class... and what you guys think it would happen?

Also, this is not a simple Vs Thread, add more stuff in. What would level the playing field? What would make it more Epic and Preposterous?

[Premmy]

What in the hell is a battle giraffe? is that an Avatar: TLA animal?

[Geminex]

It's just a giraffe with better stats, I guess.

As for the battle...

It depends on their strategies, really.
I think the side with the gorillas has the slight advantage, because they have a larger armored force (the silverbacks), while still having competent quick-strike forces. (The griffons). In addition to this, the archers on gorilla-back can support each other and facilitate breakthroughs through enemy lines. The side with the bears has a lot of cavalry (the bears), but the bears aren't armored, so a few good ranged volleys should be capable of reducing their cavalry to a group of warriors milling around. Besides, crossbows aren't that good on bearback, I think. As for the battle giraffes, I guess they're vulnerable because the clerics, rangers, casters are all only lightly armored, which means that concentrated fire could probably wipe them out.

What I see happening is that the bears and gorillas charge at each other, both take casualties but all of the bears die, leaving only the warriors and crossbowmen. Meanwhile, a detatchment of gorillas, along with the griffins attack the giraffe-mounted forces from one of their flanks and begin targeting the casters. They get wiped out, but the casters all die. So then you have, let's say, 8 armored giraffes and 40 infantry on foot versus 15 silverback gorillas and the rangers riding them. The gorillas first charge the armored giraffes, taking them down without sustaining too many casualties, then get charged by the enemy's infantry, but evade the attack and surround the milling infantry. The rangers snipe at them while evading the enemy's archers, eventually they run out of ammo, and they all charge the infantry, wipe them out.

Factor in some siege weapons. Ballistae, catapults.

[EVILNess]

I think this is probably the most absurd topic I've seen in 2010.

I know it's still early, but damn Bells good job.

[Amake]

Wizards always win. Gnome wizards with the superb mobility and field of vision offered by sitting on the head of a battle giraffe? They'll conquer worlds. Gnome wizards with the superb mobility and field of vision offered by sitting on the head of a battle giraffe with backup from healers, tanks, long range harassment and BEAR CAVALRY? Were your parents killed by gorillas or something?

If the other side had one of my level 80+ Monk-Wizard-Cleric-Druid-Liches maybe they'd have a chance. . .okay, maybe five of them.

[Geminex]

I think it is you who underestimates the power of knife-throwing clowns. Seriously, their mounts fly across the battlefield, they've reached the enemies in a few seconds and start pelting them with knives before they can finish incanting. And do you know how hard it is to concentrate on casting magic when clowns are throwing knives at you?

[Premmy]

Okay, So I've found out what a Battle-Giraffe is...
http://www.samruby.com/Villains/Stiltman/StiltmanLogoPic.gif
http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/77/87690-13317-stilt-man_large.jpg

[Sithdarth]

If the other side had one of my level 80+ Monk-Wizard-Cleric-Druid-Liches maybe they'd have a chance. . .okay, maybe five of them.

That's a rather poorly made character. I made a level 40 Monk-Ninja-Samurai-Iaijutsu Master with a VOP that could wipe out both armies no sweat. It make take him like 3 weeks of straight fighting but he had so much AC and SR he was basically immortal. Plus the ability to crank out well over 1k damage in a round. Even the Griffins are screwed because he could balance on air and had a jump check that basically turned him into a flea.

[Amake]

Hard to concentrate on not laughing maybe. Throwing weapons do tiny damage to begin with, factor in basic shield spells and Cleric protections and heals and three out of four throws missing from the flying mounts and the wizards alone outnumbering the clowns 2:1 and yeah, I hope they at least have unrealistically large stacks of knives.

PS. As far as I know any toon past level 25 or so breaks the D&D systems so yeah, a lvl 40 is probably just as invincible as a lvl 80.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

....


Giraffes are not known for their war-like prowess. Otherwise we would have used them in, ya know, war before now.


Also I find the omission of elephants with cannons on their backs to be a grave miscalculation. Please modify.

[Sithdarth]

PS. As far as I know any toon past level 25 or so breaks the D&D systems so yeah, a lvl 40 is probably just as invincible as a lvl 80.

The thing is I limited myself to combat classes and therefore crippled my character in terms of shear power. At level 80 with what appears to be close to 60 levels of caster, 20 of which should have been wizard no matter what, you have unfathomable potential. Like a wizard that powerful with epic level spells should destroy the entire fabric of reality if even a single one of his atoms moves just a tiny bit wrong.

[Geminex]

We need some word of god here. How powerful are the casters?

Oh, and I'm nominating this thread for "most nerdy thread of 2010". It's not as long as heroes vs. wizards, but it's far more nerdy, and contains DnD already!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

The thing is I limited myself to combat classes and therefore crippled my character in terms of shear power. At level 80 with what appears to be close to 60 levels of caster, 20 of which should have been wizard no matter what, you have unfathomable potential. Like a wizard that powerful with epic level spells should destroy the entire fabric of reality if even a single one of his atoms moves just a tiny bit wrong.

I brok ethe game with my level 30 character who had one (and only one) level of every class and then one level of some prestige classes when I ran out. Epic rules are stupid and just arbitrarily large numbers bashing into each other.

[Sifright]

Sigh If you have access to all the books wotc ever released for 3.5 I could make you a level 13 character that is completely and utterly invincible. Ni in all possible variables including HD and caster level with every ability in every book. Google around for a build called pun pun would take to much time to go into all the details but basically it has near infinite reach and speed and dex mod meaning you have near infinite AoO and thus can kill everything on your plane of existence in one round. Alternatively you could go with a hulking hurler that lifts mountains and throws them area of effect improvised weapon that deals trillions of damage.

[Amake]

Okay, I'm sorry for bringing character levels into this. What say we get back to unlikely animals doing battle mounted by clowns and. . .David Lynch movie characters? Some creepy dancing dwarves would liven up the battlefield I think.

[Meister]

Hypothetical scenario...
Good to know.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Sigh If you have access to all the books wotc ever released for 3.5 I could make you a level 13 character that is completely and utterly invincible. Ni in all possible variables including HD and caster level with every ability in every book. Google around for a build called pun pun would take to much time to go into all the details but basically it has near infinite reach and speed and dex mod meaning you have near infinite AoO and thus can kill everything on your plane of existence in one round. Alternatively you could go with a hulking hurler that lifts mountains and throws them area of effect improvised weapon that deals trillions of damage.

The pun-pun build is only 5 levels now.
But the thing was I wasn't even using expansion books- solely the core books and the ELH. Which was my point- the ELH is broken like a mofo so once you are at say level 30 you are all as arbitrarily strong as each other even when taking on ridiculous limitations.

[Sifright]

I actually haven't bothered with the ELH I've never really played passed level 17. How do epic level fighters do are they still as terrible as per usual?

[BitVyper]

The sick thing is that Benedict of Amber has probably not only seen this fight, but seen it five thousand times, each with slightly different conditions.

[synkr0nized]

All I see in the OP is a bunch of "blah blah blah table top crap", but I am pretty sure all it would take is one Apache helicopter.

[Green Spanner]

All I see in the OP is a bunch of "blah blah blah table top crap", but I am pretty sure all it would take is one Apache helicopter.

A +5 Apache Helicopter?

[krogothwolf]

Man, I think the lack of foot troopers makes this battle rather bland!

We need to add 1000 troops with chainsaws on hockey masks on the Bear's side and 1000 men with two-handed swords of fire on the Gorillas side. Just to spice shit up ya know.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I actually haven't bothered with the ELH I've never really played passed level 17. How do epic level fighters do are they still as terrible as per usual?

I once played an epic level fighter who killed an epic level wizard in 12 different ways in a single round. And he was all like "Contingency spell: Death" and I was all like " Do you have 12 of those suckers?" and the DM was like "That's not how it works" and I was like ":(".
But yeah they still suck.
Be glad not to read the ELH it is a terrible terrible thing. We onl break it out when we feel like break from main campaign which is pretty much all roleplaing and run it as super-combat, broken as all shit, anything goes.

[Meister]

The pun-pun build is only 5 levels now.
Actually I think they managed to get it down to level 1 now.

[Bells]

Man, I think the lack of foot troopers makes this battle rather bland!

We need to add 1000 troops with chainsaws on hockey masks on the Bear's side and 1000 men with two-handed swords of fire on the Gorillas side. Just to spice shit up ya know.

What if they had Short-burst jetpacks? You know... 10 sec Hovering or 60 Feet Glide or 30 feet Dash

Also, don't underestimate the Bears. Their advantage over the Gorillas is the field itself. Gorillas have clear advantage in Jungle settings. But Bears can go from 4 legs stride mode to a 2 Leg Battle mode, which works best in a plain, giving them mobility and power

[Sifright]

Pun pun at level 1 oh dear.. That's just sad ^^
Would really love to be able to play a dnd campaign where you know we actually play to level 20 everytime my characters really start to hit their stride the campaign ends :(

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Actually I think they managed to get it down to level 1 now.
yes but it involves saying the name "Pazuzu" 3 times out loud.
Better off to take the 5 levels.

[synkr0nized]

A +5 Apache Helicopter?

If that's high, yes. Also, being "Apache Longbows" and mounts, I suppose that requires one to be a ranger?

[Shyria Dracnoir]

And all of this is organized by an Awakened Dire Bear Vampire Lord riding a Zombie Dragon

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Why isn't he also a troll? That way he'll take no physical damage.

[Ecks]

Riot Shield
Desert Eagle with Tactical Knife attachment

Tactical Insertion
Stun Grenade x2

Marathon Pro
Lightweight Pro
Commando Pro

Painkillers

There be a whole lot of bleeding long necks.

[Premmy]

If that's high, yes. Also, being "Apache Longbows" and mounts, I suppose that requires one to be a ranger?

Don't encurage them, it'll only make things worse. Well, fuck ,this is NPF, right? guess it's too late for that.