The Chatroulette Adventure

[Kerensky287]

For those who don't know, Chatroulette (http://www.chatroulette.com/) is a bit of an odd site. With a webcam, you can videochat with a random person around the world. Of course, video + audience + anonymity is guaranteed to equal bad things. So I plan to go on this site and record my findings for you all to see!

Session 1: A random person. He asks about the bomb in my closet. I claim ignorance. I turn the camera around to face the poster on my wall for the next session.

Session 2: I introduce myself as the Delta V rocket. The other man introduces himself as russian. The language barrier stands firm.

Session 3: A man is masturbating. I flee.

Session 4: A man is masturbating. I flee.

Session 5: A man is undoing his pants, preparing to masturbate. I flee.

Session 6: An elderly man. I introduce myself as the Delta V rocket and promptly warn him about the penises. I then make a joke about a small sample size. He types for 30 seconds. His message reads "Yes."

Session 7: A... woman is masturbating? I can't tell. This is even worse than the man somehow. I flee.

Session 8: A teenager appears. I convince him this is being broadcast in front of an auditorium. He flees.

Session 9: Does not exist. I am now blocked for the next 20 minutes.


Feel free to record your own adventures on this mysterious site! Venture forth at your own risk. The site has a good chance of not being safe for work depending on your luck.

On the plus side, now I know how that kid in the Images thread is so awesome. He's just numb to all the horrors the world can show him.

[Melfice]

Happened a while back, while I was bored to death.

Session 1: Black screen; promptly disconnected
Session 2: Black screen; promptly disconnected
Session 3: Male; masturbating. I disconnect.
Session 4: Female; "conversation" commences. I greet, she just stares at the cam for 10 minutes (Hey, it's not like "she" was wasting MY time). Determine this is somebody pranking me. I disconnect.
Session 5: Somebody hung (Yes. I shit you not.) in a room. Determine 4chan is probably behind this, using probably a photo and some other software. I disconnect.
Session 6: Male; masturbating. I disconnect.

Decide this service sucks ass, never visited again.

[Kerensky287]

THEN YOU DID NOT DO IT RIGHT.

The best option is to create the most surreal conversations possible. A good way to do this is using Manycam or another virtual webcam to display a picture for people to react to.

It's like a TV show of it's own, as long as you skip past the goddamn masturbation.

EDIT: Currently using Robert Pattinson. The responses are SUBLIME.

[Kim]

The best option is to create the most surreal conversations possible. A good way to do this is using Manycam or another virtual webcam to display a picture for people to react to.

I was using a picture of Kamina Squirtle, but then I got reported...

EDIT: Gonna use a pic of the Nostalgia Critic once the ban wears off.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

This is the most terrible thread I have ever encountered on this site. There again when the second sentance in the thread contains the words "webcam" and "random person" I shouldn't be surprised.

[Kerensky287]

Got banned again, apparently somebody hates Twilight. When it wears off, I'm going straight MSPaint Adventures.

And Hawk, "most terrible thread"? I don't think that word means what you think it means. You probably meant to say "inspired."

EDIT: You know, I'm starting to think that people might be reporting me for NOT being a topless woman.

[Pip Boy]

Are there really that many video clips of people masturbating on there? Thank god I never tried it.

EDIT: Maybe its called chatroulette because 5/6 are shooting blanks at you?

[Kim]

I can't really make Nostalgia Critic into a good conversation starter, so I'm back with Kamina Squirtle, even though it got me banned again.

EDIT: Running with Kamina Squirtle and have the Pokemon song full blast in the background

[Magic_Marker]

You could always sing them a song. (http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/03/merton-chatroulette/)

[Kerensky287]

You know, I think there ARE people who just report anyone who isn't a woman. What, do they seriously think that any girl will instantly become overcome with lust at the sight of these creepy hairy people jerking off?

Goddamn trolls. Ruin my MS Paint Adventures, will you...

[Kim]

The frequency of being reported is starting to piss me off. I want to wish people happy birthday with cupcake Nia! Why is that being reported?

[russianreversal]

You could always sing them a song. (http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/03/merton-chatroulette/) And if that's not doing it anymore, you can do the same thing only with 2000 people watching. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfamTmY5REw&feature=player_embedded)

[krogothwolf]

You all probably got banned for not wanking it.

[Corel]

You all probably got banned for not wanking it.

Pretty much it seems like that.

Anyway, I had a good conversation with some very sweet Russian girls. Even more amusing by the fact we could only communicate through fragments of different languages we knew as we couldn't speak eachothers native.

Then some guy was just playing DJ Hero or something online. I cheered him on.

[Kerensky287]

I had a conversation with a Russian girl who seemed disappointed that I was not masturbating.

[Seil]

Information (http://www.cracked.com/funny-4372-chatroulette/)

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/2d8rv29.jpg

I was laughing for ten minutes after I saw that pic. It made me too scared to try CR, but I laughed for ten minutes.

[Geminex]

I liked it even more, cause the traumatized guy? He looks exactly like a friend of mine.

[synkr0nized]

Are there really that many video clips of people masturbating on there? Thank god I never tried it.

Not at first. But as it grew, just as with Omegle people tried to out-do each other and be annoying. It got so bad that even when mainstream media got around to covering it, trying to be hip and finally catch something when it was relatively new, they had to continuously cut away [lol live TV morning shows] and then ultimately give up and warn the stay-at-home moms and unemployed/retired watching the show that it was not a safe site.


Also there are funny images already circulating around the Interbutts from here, and I assume one can find clips on YouTube or similar sites.

[krogothwolf]

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1931005

this is the hanging prank, the people reactions are entertaining. Although why the hell are people wearing sunglasses indoors and why are there groups of people using it? I don't understand.

[Carade]

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/tumblr_kwtdrp1HM01qaa7t1o1_500.png

Best ever, next to Ben Folds singing.

Anyway, I tried it, had a lovely conversation with a mixed race French couple. Very friendly, discussed politics. Then they found out I was Vietnamese. They disconnected.

[Wigmund]

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1931005

this is the hanging prank, the people reactions are entertaining. Although why the hell are people wearing sunglasses indoors and why are there groups of people using it? I don't understand.

Now if the hanged man started ghost typing accusations at the people he was chatting with that would have been great.

Give them a couple of seconds to be shocked, then hit 'em with something like:
"Why didn't you stop me?"
"You could have done something."

[phil_]

Well, _mike's on there right now, for some reason. It's like, I opened this thread, and suddenly I notice that he's there. There's some girl putting her hair up; she doesn't seem to want to chat. He's in his lab coat and gloves, so it's her loss.

Ok, it's some unfriendly looking guy with his laptop in his lap. Oh, wait, it broke.

He seems to be connected to himself?... Wait, oh, the guy's mirroring his feed. Chat seems to be happening.Guy seemed to be writing with a tablet.

And now someone's pointing a gun at the screen. Awesome. He looks mad. Live blog ends here.

[Solid Snake]

Session 7: A... woman is masturbating? I can't tell. This is even worse than the man somehow. I flee.

...I do not believe you.
(Although I probably would have fled, too. Even if she were marginally good looking.)

...As for this kooky website: I will never try it.
And I don't feel like I'm missing out on much.

[Geminex]

Chatroulette: Because, Oh God Is He... Is He Fapping? Next! Oh God, This One Too! My Eyes... My Eyes are Melting! My Eeeeeeyes!

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I stand by my earlier post.

...


Except for the Batman/Obama picture. That was awesome.