In this thread, SMB bitches about British elections and NEEDS YOU!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

*Possibly newsy but I'm not getting no article, I'm just bitching*
I may be a little wasted after the local meeting on how shit this election is..
Aside from the fact that all elections are outright rigged, they could at least try to be a little less blatant about the rigging here.
See so we got two main parties- Labour the "left party" and conservatives "the right". But Labour is currently still "New Labour" which basically means "businessmen who pretend they are left-wing-ie we are lefties but we are fiscally responsible" so basically they are the conservatives.
BUT OH SHIT- THERE is a third party!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!
Because Britain is New Zealand in the 80s (I'll get to that ) they can recycle old elections tricks- this time the third party playing the "common sense" role. Now this is the first time in British history that there has been live televised leaders debate- which is totally suited to the common sense man because he reaffirms everybodies help believes. So the third party, the Liberal democrats, are polling well and eveyroen like DEMOCRACY SO GOOD

But we're in the 80s because unlike the rest of the civilised world who got rid of First Past the Post type voting methods then, Britain has kept them.
This basically means there are electroal districts, you vote for the man in your district, whoever wins the district gets the parliament seat, popular vote means nothing.
So our votes are worthless.

All this said, the real point of this thread is to discuss the best ways for me to spoil my ballot paper.
In the past I have A) Drawn a box with "no confidence" on the sheet and ticked that B) Voted for a "Ghosts of dead iraqis" box and C) Covered the paper with pictures of Camus smoking a cigarette.
I out of ideas this go around.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Vote Jedi. Always.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

What the fuck? The jedi were not only rightwing fundamentalists they were also incredibly bad at even the simplest of tasks. Like if I wanted to design a task that I would need a jedi for, that no one else could do, it would be to hunt down Sith Lords. But an entire council of jedis can't detect what is stated in many sources to be one of the msot powerful Sith Lords of all time despite talking to him every fucking day because they too up their own beaucratic ass and someone filled out their positive identification of Palpatine on form 652AB and not 652AC with subsidiary document 6/001 in triplicate, black ink, blue paper.
Shit I'd rather vote the tories.

Edit: Also they clearly a military dictatorship. Why are we supposed to support them?
It's like the original trilogy- the rebel alliance are possibly the worst heroes ever. Why are we supposed to support them? They have no policies ,the make no case why the empire is bad, they just blow shit up for the hell of it and cause ruckus.
I always ALWAYS support the rebels and even I don't support the rebel alliance cause the empire seem to be humming along pretty efficiently, they don't do anything really outright worse than the rebels.

[Kim]

I always vote Dalek.

[Julford Hajime]

I say you vote Glenn Beck. Y'know, try and get him off of our hands.

[Revising Ocelot]

I'd vote for myself, but I can't. Oh well.


I certainly won't vote for any of the 3 main parties, I don't like any of them. And they're still better than trash like the BNP and UKIP.

Will probably abstain from voting. Or take up that Jedi idea.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Fucking the page ads are now telling me to vote Lib Dems.
Dalek is an interesting vote but while I admire their coherence to a bold policy package with a clear theme, thus ignoring the hot button campaigning of many a party, I have a major difference of opinion on their policies regarding my future well being- re exterminate, exterminate- is not the direction I want to take this country quite yet.It's too young.

Glen Beck- I have recentely discovered that we both think democracy is inherentely flawed, me from the left, him from the right. Can we join forces, left meets right, east meets west, a tale of star crossed lovers, seperated by more than just an ocean, but by thier parties at war? A tale for those who dare to dream and dare to seek life outside their box. PG-13. Showing from Thursday- Maybe!

I'd vote for myself, but I can't. Oh well.


I certainly won't vote for any of the 3 main parties, I don't like any of them. And they're still better than trash like the BNP and UKIP.

Will probably abstain from voting. Or take up that Jedi idea.

If you going to abstain go to the ballot place and trash the paper so it's recorded as a spoiled vote. Closest we've got to a no-confidence now that no outright ridiculous parties are coming.
You do realise Jedi would vote for the BNP don't you? They both like militia justice, have paranoid caracitures of those different from them while portraying themselves as good and righteous and both have token black men.

[Viridis]

I say you vote Glenn Beck. Y'know, try and get him off of our hands.I like this plan. In fact I say we invent a country, maybe a square mile or two in the middle of nowhere, and give it to him. He'd love it.

[Krylo]

Vote Jedi. Always.

A true jedi does not get involved directly in politics nor seize power for themselves. They merely offer guidance where it is sought.

The 'jedi' party is obviously a sith trick.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

A true jedi does not get involved directly in politics nor seize power for themselves. They merely offer guidance where it is sought.


They sure seem to do a lot of "advising" in the first movie- by which I mean just going around laser swording pretty much everybody while acting all smug about it.

[Krylo]

Assuming you mean the prequel, 'cause the actual first movie only had one jedi in it...

Well they were SUPPOSED to negotiate a treaty with the Trade Federation, and then the Federation was all "Kill all Jedi" so they were all "Welp." and then they laser sworded people and what not.

But they didn't go and make themselves presidents of Naboo or anything, now did they?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Man I'm trying to think of examplesbut that movie was a fucking mess. My total impression though is that Jedi are just like "Fuck you, laser sword" as the response to every situation. I'm probably thinking of the 2nd and 3rd ones where the jedi are like "Yo war is bad" "Nah yo war is awesome"

[BitVyper]

Also they clearly a military dictatorship.

Optimus Prime was a military dictator. Chew on that.

[Grimpond]

Why not draw a T-Rex wearing shades?

and and and

If that fails, how a bout a giant donger!?

[bluestarultor]

You COULD always pencil in Barack Obama. Or if you want to be a bit more realistic and controversial, George W. Bush. He's not doing anything at the moment past Haiti ads. Or if you want more awesome, you could do Bill Clinton, who's only doing Haiti ads and being awesome, but he does awesome all the time, so it doesn't distract him much.


Edit: Oh, wait, you probably don't want to repeat the penciling in thing. My bad.

Uhh, oh, you could always mark it up with what looks like a code of some sort, but is really gibberish. Or better yet, make it a real code that says something obscene if they waste time translating it.

[Kim]

Michael Wilson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Wolf_Chaos)

[krogothwolf]

Man, everyone knows you should vote for Jesus! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvVr2uks0C8)

[Julford Hajime]

Michael Wilson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Wolf_Chaos)

Personally, I'd vote for Richard.

[Mondt]

Man, everyone knows you should vote for Jesus! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvVr2uks0C8)Vote for Drew Sarich (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYcOryjkJVE&feature=related) =D

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Optimus Prime was a military dictator. Chew on that.
Optimus Prime was about equal, sustainable distribution of resources and was red. Clearly a communist.

Why not draw a T-Rex wearing shades?

and and and

If that fails, how a bout a giant donger!?

Dinosaurs scare me as do dongers.

You COULD always pencil in Barack Obama. Or if you want to be a bit more realistic and controversial, George W. Bush. He's not doing anything at the moment past Haiti ads. Or if you want more awesome, you could do Bill Clinton, who's only doing Haiti ads and being awesome, but he does awesome all the time, so it doesn't distract him much.


Edit: Oh, wait, you probably don't want to repeat the penciling in thing. My bad.

Uhh, oh, you could always mark it up with what looks like a code of some sort, but is really gibberish. Or better yet, make it a real code that says something obscene if they waste time translating it.
I'm looking for better candidates than what is on offer, not worse!

Michael Wilson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Wolf_Chaos)
His name doesn't sound like a variation of penis... I don't get it.

Man, everyone knows you should vote for Jesus! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvVr2uks0C8)

Vote for Drew Sarich (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYcOryjkJVE&feature=related) =D

Both of these guys are too much for the rights of dead people. We don't have enough to look after alive people!

[Archbio]

I mean just going around laser swording pretty much everybody while acting all smug about it.

That's really the only way to act while laser swording people.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

You could at least apologise about it!

[Melfice]

You could at least apologise about it!

Well, they got themselves killed by the end of the sixth film (third of the prequels), didn't they?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Yeah but I think we were supposed to feel sad for them.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Well then in that case I guess you can always put down Jeremy Clarkson. At least that would be funny.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I'm pretty sure voting Clarkson is equivalent to voting BNP.

[Osterbaum]

Put down "Osterbaum for President".

[Julford Hajime]

You know who else called people out on making references to Hitler? Hitler.

You know, your name sounds awfully German, Oster...

Just sayin
I'm also pretty progressive. And my middle name is Adolf. But I've never won any democratic elections!

Put down "Osterbaum for President".
Working your way up to Hitler status, eh? :p

[Osterbaum]

Silly you. You know posts from other threads don't count in different ones.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Put down "Osterbaum for President".

I don't know this Osterbaum fellow. What does he stand for?

[Tev]

I don't know this Osterbaum fellow. What does he stand for?40 acres and a mule!

[Osterbaum]

Revolution. Don't matter the reason.

40 acres and a mule!
And a barrel of beer.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I don't think the role of president is the correct one for him.

[Wigmund]

Vote for Liberty Prime
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6hRIHmS8uKk/0.jpg
Of course, he is fervently anti-communist as shown in his campaign slogans
COMMUNISM IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF FAILURE!
DEATH IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO COMMUNISM!

But you do have to give him credit, because no matter the obstruction - the probability of mission hindrance will be 0%. He is also willing to die so that democracy may live.

[Fifthfiend]

Man I'm trying to think of examplesbut that movie was a fucking mess. My total impression though is that Jedi are just like "Fuck you, laser sword" as the response to every situation. I'm probably thinking of the 2nd and 3rd ones where the jedi are like "Yo war is bad" "Nah yo war is awesome"

Look up that one longass review on youtube.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Vote for Liberty Prime
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6hRIHmS8uKk/0.jpg
Of course, he is fervently anti-communist as shown in his campaign slogans
COMMUNISM IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF FAILURE!
DEATH IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO COMMUNISM!

But you do have to give him credit, because no matter the obstruction - the probability of mission hindrance will be 0%. He is also willing to die so that democracy may live.
That is pretty much the exact opposite way to win my vote.
Look up that one longass review on youtube.
I'll vote for that dude.

[Fungrus]

Well if you hate first past the post so much (as do I) why not vote Lib Dem? They'll get rid of it if they get any sort of power even if it be in a hung parliament.

[Azisien]

*C) Covered the paper with pictures of Camus smoking a cigarette.

This needs a digital edge. You should dress up as Camus, smoke a cigarette in the ballot area, then proceed to use the cigarette to set the ballot on fire flamboyantly. Maybe there's something you can yell, too? Then video tape it and put it on YouTube!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

While this seems like a good plan I have discovered a major flaw: It involves voting for the Lib Dems.



I have a great fear everyone would just mistake me for James Dean.

Edit:
Election is tommorow and I'm still nowhere! Shout ideas at me, the last one will probably win cause my brain can only hold 1 fact at a time/.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

THE GODDAMN BATMAN!!

There, vote for him!

[Marc v4.0]

"Fuck you, laser sword"

If YOU had a Laser Sword, everyone around you would expect to bear witness to constant laser sword-asshattery.

Gun Slingers gunsling with grit, Pirates swashbuckle all suave, Ninjas ninjer about mysteriously, Vikings pilliage and rape indiscriminately, Jedi laser sword in a asshatted manner.

It's in the Jedi Code! Possibly the Bylaws! The Jedi Council Guidbook to Dinning on Less the 10 Credits a Day while Laser Swording!

EDIT: Oh, right, ideas..uh...

Vote Commander Shepard.

Leader.

Hero.

Asshole.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Which incarnation is running? I'm down for Micheal Keaton Batman.

[Geminex]

How about Dr. Who? He'd make a pretty kickass head of state.

Or, if you prefer, Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Both aliens, ineligible to run.
Fuck if I know where Commander Shephard is from. He's probably stupid and thus not worthy of my vote.

[Marc v4.0]

He solves problems by telling authority to shove it, shooting anyone that has a gun, and punching reporters in the face.

Lead character of the Mass Effect games, surprised you didn't know that already

[Professor Smarmiarty]

What his stance on the British electoral system?

[Si Civa]

Charlie Chaplin. He's quite a nice chap. Vote him. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJOuoyoMhj8)

[Professor Smarmiarty]

He looks like just the kind of decisive, get things done, on the ball gogetter that this country needs!

[greed]

He solves problems by telling authority to shove it, shooting anyone that has a gun, and punching reporters in the face.

Lead character of the Mass Effect games, surprised you didn't know that already

Nah you're doing it wrong. It should be FemShepard. That way Garrus would be the PM's husband. Him being at all those diplomatic things world leaders spouses attend would be worth electing Shepard by itself.

What his stance on the British electoral system?


Not sure about his/her stance on Britain exactly, but politically the Paragon(good) Shepard seems to be ultra liberal, anti-nationalistic Federation style space communist, and the Renegade (bad) one seems to be nationalistic, authoritarian and capitalistic.

Looking at it, I'm pretty sure Shepard would turn him/herself into a communist/militarist dictator pretty quickly. Paragon Shepard would still hold honest elections though due to being big on laws, honesty, honour and stuff so if it didn't work you could boot him/her out after 3/4 years/whatever the British electoral cycle is at least. Renegade not so much.

And Paragon Shepard(and maybe Renegade Shepard) would totally open the country to Quarian refugees. Which would be cool though I can only imagine how much a species of biohard-burqa wearing, communist space Romani analogues settling down would piss off the conservatives. It would also screw with the health system pretty badly.

Edit: Thinking about it, Renegade Shepard would be Thatcher in a hot young cyborg body bascially. With supervillain style "you have failed me" murders.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I just had a thought actually; does the Monster Raving Looney Party still exist? And if not, why not?!?

Or shit I dunno, Flying Spaggetti Monster maybe? Or do they count as a religious group?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I just had a thought actually; does the Monster Raving Looney Party still exist? And if not, why not?!?



No which is annoying because witohut the existence of "No confidence" on the voting sheet (which is bullshit) crazy parties are the best way to show No confidence votes, better than defiling papers.
The MacGillyCuddy Serious Party of NZ were always good. They were going to cut the South Island free from the Earth and float it next to the North Island to save on air fares.

[01d55]

It's like the original trilogy- the rebel alliance are possibly the worst heroes ever. Why are we supposed to support them? They have no policies ,the make no case why the empire is bad, they just blow shit up for the hell of it and cause ruckus.
I always ALWAYS support the rebels and even I don't support the rebel alliance cause the empire seem to be humming along pretty efficiently, they don't do anything really outright worse than the rebels.

I'm pretty sure the part where Grand Moff "That means I can boss Darth Fucking Vader" Tarkin blows up a populated planet just to be a dick is the case why The Empire is bad.

Also consider that the Empire is a direct outgrowth of The Republic - a natural extension of the emergency War Powers Palpatine got during the violent suppression of the separatist movement. It isn't necessary to spell out how the defeated seperatist systems are treated - they're colonies in service to the Imperial core. That's why they call it an Empire.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I'm pretty sure the part where Grand Moff "That means I can boss Darth Fucking Vader" Tarkin blows up a populated planet just to be a dick is the case why The Empire is bad.
Bro, if your princess is the head of the fucking Rebel alliance you've got some dodgey shit going on.

Also consider that the Empire is a direct outgrowth of The Republic - a natural extension of the emergency War Powers Palpatine got during the violent suppression of the separatist movement. It isn't necessary to spell out how the defeated seperatist systems are treated - they're colonies in service to the Imperial core. That's why they call it an Empire.
Firstly, we don't really know htis in the movies, there are coded references to the republic and that's it. I talking before Prequel bollocks.
An empire doesn't necessarily mean automatically its bad. Mabe it's a benevolent empire fuelled by cooperative interests. If you are going to have a villainous empire, at least tell us why.
What are the rebel alliance going to replace it with? We don't know. They don't tell us. Maybe the Rebel alliance is going to replace it with a worse empire.

[krogothwolf]

Bro, if your princess is the head of the fucking Rebel alliance you've got some dodgey shit going on.


Maybe the princess was just in it for the thrill? And to bang a smuggler! And kiss her brother...dude, that princess was one messed up bitch!

She was a traitor too, no good things come from traitors. Plus Smarties right, all we know about the empire is Darth Vader was awesome and he killed jedi in honorable sword fights. And they used a Gaint Freakin Laser to blow up planets as an interrogation method. There is no policy mentioned at all. Maybe they were assholes to those who betrayed em, but they could run things decently maybe?

You should totally elect Kamina as your new leader, he'd fix things up!

[Julford Hajime]

You should totally elect Kamina as your new leader, he'd fix things up!

You know GODDAMN WELL why electing Kamina would be a bad move. I don't need to see Tengen Toppa British Parliament wrecking shit with whoever-the-hell pisses Kamina off first.

Rossiu, on the other hand... He's a leader I could get behind :D

[Fungrus]

I just had a thought actually; does the Monster Raving Looney Party still exist? And if not, why not?!?

Or shit I dunno, Flying Spaggetti Monster maybe? Or do they count as a religious group?

Yes they still exsist here (http://www.loonyparty.com/index.php?page=election-2010-results) is a list of their candidates.

[bluestarultor]

Bro, if your princess is the head of the fucking Rebel alliance you've got some dodgey shit going on.

Firstly, we don't really know htis in the movies, there are coded references to the republic and that's it. I talking before Prequel bollocks.
An empire doesn't necessarily mean automatically its bad. Mabe it's a benevolent empire fuelled by cooperative interests. If you are going to have a villainous empire, at least tell us why.
What are the rebel alliance going to replace it with? We don't know. They don't tell us. Maybe the Rebel alliance is going to replace it with a worse empire.

Media rule number 5: "kingdoms are good, empires are evil."

[Rejected Again]

There is only one answer:

Vote for and draw Cthulhu.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Yes they still exsist here (http://www.loonyparty.com/index.php?page=election-2010-results) is a list of their candidates.

Not running anywhere near me which means, because our electrol system is from the 80s, I can't vote ofr them.

[Corel]

Don't blame me, I voted for General Zod. (http://www.zod2008.com/)

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Dr No stole my vote again.

[tacticslion]

Dr No stole my vote again.

I'm dissappointed in all of you. I believe in Harvey Dent (http://redstatebluestate.mlblogs.com/harvey-dent-believe-350w.jpg).

The jedi were not only rightwing fundamentalists

Seriously, what? They weren't "right-wing" anything, though you could make a "fundamentalist" argument (if you consider them fundamentalists because they clung to relativism plus illogical exceptions with blind furver). Sure they stuck for their own traditions, but that's it. Government policies? Screw that noise - they enforced whatever was told to them unless it was inconvenient and they "advised" (often poorly) when they thought they could get away with it.

As for any "fundamentalism" on their part it boiled down to: everything (except the "Dark Side") is relative (and thus ok). They were effectively the Tolerance movement with regards to the Right as Dark Side - their policy was to tolerate everyone who is different from themselves save those who are trying to kill them or who believe in Absolutes, which are absolutely evil.

No, the Jedi weren't Rightwing Fundamentalists (Jedi more like anti-right-wing police) any more than Sith were Liberal Freedom Fighters (the Sith were Rightwing Fundamentalist Freedom Fighters). The Jedi were anti-"Imperial" (making them defacto pro-republic), granted, but simultaneously they were pro-(very) large government with centrist leanings. So effectively they opposed absolute dictatorship by proposing larger and more rigorous government controls handled through a large number of people. The Empire itself seemed to be a heavily regulated Capitalism - effectively a dictatorial Right-Wing state. So what am I saying? Really the Star Wars governmental policies are rather removed from our own with only vague parallels. Also, that I agree that Jedi were worthless. But then again, so were the Sith, so, 'ya know, the galaxy is pretty screwed. On the other hand, they could move stuff with their mind!

It's like the original trilogy- the rebel alliance are possibly the worst heroes ever. Why are we supposed to support them?

While the rebel alliance doesn't make a good case for themselves, the music tells you what you need to know! Listen to the music, man, the music!
Man, everyone knows you should vote for Jesus! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvVr2uks0C8)

Well, thanks, krogo, now I feel bad about putting my faith in Harvey Dent.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I'm dissappointed in all of you. I believe in Harvey Dent (http://redstatebluestate.mlblogs.com/harvey-dent-believe-350w.jpg).



Seriously, what? They weren't "right-wing" anything, though you could make a "fundamentalist" argument (if you consider them fundamentalists because they clung to relativism plus illogical exceptions with blind furver). Sure they stuck for their own traditions, but that's it. Government policies? Screw that noise - they enforced whatever was told to them unless it was inconvenient and they "advised" (often poorly) when they thought they could get away with it.

As for any "fundamentalism" on their part it boiled down to: everything (except the "Dark Side") is relative (and thus ok). They were effectively the Tolerance movement with regards to the Right as Dark Side - their policy was to tolerate everyone who is different from themselves save those who are trying to kill them or who believe in Absolutes, which are absolutely evil.

No, the Jedi weren't Rightwing Fundamentalists (Jedi more like anti-right-wing police) any more than Sith were Liberal Freedom Fighters (the Sith were Rightwing Fundamentalist Freedom Fighters). The Jedi were anti-"Imperial" (making them defacto pro-republic), granted, but simultaneously they were pro-(very) large government with centrist leanings. So effectively they opposed absolute dictatorship by proposing larger and more rigorous government controls handled through a large number of people. The Empire itself seemed to be a heavily regulated Capitalism - effectively a dictatorial Right-Wing state. So what am I saying? Really the Star Wars governmental policies are rather removed from our own with only vague parallels. Also, that I agree that Jedi were worthless. But then again, so were the Sith, so, 'ya know, the galaxy is pretty screwed. On the other hand, they could move stuff with their mind!
I'm pretty sure the Jedi spend the majority of the prequel trilogy murdering everyone but the only outright evil character running around. They either evil little fucks or laughably incompetent.
I'm not sure how the yare bro big government, the people rule, when their policies which they enforce on everyone else are decided by like 8 old dudes chilling in their palace.

[tacticslion]

I'm pretty sure the Jedi spend the majority of the prequel trilogy murdering everyone but the only outright evil character running around. They either evil little fucks or laughably incompetent.
I'm not sure how they are pro big government, the people rule, when their policies which they enforce on everyone else are decided by like 8 old dudes chilling in their palace.

Effectively, they enforce a) the laws of the Republic - which was, in their time, both bloated and corrupt - and b) the laws of the Jedi as permissible by the government of the Republic - a government that, from all appearances, made plausible deniability a firm policy when dealing with Jedi matters. So effectively, they were a (not-so) "secret" police/semi-military force that did their own thing while supporting a centrist, high-taxation beaurocratic government and occasionally accepted jobs from the centrist government they "supported" (but were also supported and tacitly condoned by). Effectively, they were the psi corps. Again, the Jedi personal "government" was the 8 old guys, but they supported the galactic government in its bloated centrist form while opposing the Seperatist Movement (effectively a super-capitalist small-government movement). They did not decide galactic policy, though they were influential. Jedi were effectively auto-cratic (only Jedi may enter) meritocratic (only the best get authority) when dealing with themselves, but centrist "guardians" when dealing with the Republic. In other words, somewhat hypocritical, even at their best.

The reason they were popular at all within the Republic is because they were hyped to death in the news media as the Saviors of All. Even so, most people feared rather than loved them - no one wanted to be on the wrong side of the Jedi. They were effectively the (celebate?) Samurai of the Republic, but denied any form of actual office, instead advising from the sides.

To pick from your two options: they're laughably incompetant. They are super-skilled super-smart super-powered imbiciles with a hypocritical world-view that really means "our enemies are the only bad people" (which is patently un-true, as the Jedi have allied themselves with very bad creatures several times).

[Fifthfiend]

The reason they were popular at all within the Republic is because they were hyped to death in the news media as the Saviors of All. Even so, most people feared rather than loved them - no one wanted to be on the wrong side of the Jedi. They were effectively the (celebate?) Samurai of the Republic, but denied any form of actual office, instead advising from the sides.

To pick from your two options: they're laughably incompetant. They are super-skilled super-smart super-powered imbiciles with a hypocritical world-view that really means "our enemies are the only bad people" (which is patently un-true, as the Jedi have allied themselves with very bad creatures several times).

So they weren't so much fundamentalists as like, neocons.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Ended up voting for the socialists, back home my home electorate was super rich and I was the lone socialist voter so could see my vote being counted- can I repeat that over here.
This thread will now track my descent into madness as results come in.
Oh yeah, we've stolen exit polls from the Merkans . Early results give conservatives 38%, which cause our voting system is retarded will give them enough to roll if joined with the criminal unionist party.
Why do the main politicans all wear fucking suits? don't they realise it makes you look like a villain from an old timey film.

Hoshit, they just brought out the Worm. Combine this with onlybeing able to vote in a single place, usinng first past the post, three parties fighting it out- Britain is now officialy NZ in the early 90s.

[BloodyMage]

Oh yeah, we've stolen exit polls from the Merkans . Early results give conservatives 38%, which cause our voting system is retarded will give them enough to roll if joined with the criminal unionist party.
.

If they can. Didn't they pretty much tell them that they didn't need their help a few days ago? Maybe not them specifically, but the smaller parties as a whole.

[tacticslion]

So they weren't so much fundamentalists as like, neocons.

I don't know enough about them to really comment on it. Solly!

Also: SMARTY! Why are you here debating arguably empty theories 'bout what Jedi politics, when you should rightly be here (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=37482&page=2) giving us a detailed account of how you saved the world with Hold Portal so we can mock you and/or your GM for it!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

If they can. Didn't they pretty much tell them that they didn't need their help a few days ago? Maybe not them specifically, but the smaller parties as a whole.

Yeah but they'll go suck up their bum onnce the polls come in. I remember elections back home few years ago, there was two parties who would never align with each other- it turned out that was only way to get power so they id.


Also: SMARTY! Why are you here debating arguably empty theories 'bout what Jedi politics, when you should rightly be here (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=37482&page=2) giving us a detailed account of how you saved the world with Hold Portal so we can mock you and/or your GM for it!

Cause I'm boozed like a mofo and yelling at my tv screen "CHANGE!!!!CHANGEE!!!!CHANGEEE!!!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quick survey suggests that I've gathered at 4 write in votes in Aberdeen north without campaigning. Holy shit, I should run for parliament.I'll sweep it easy.

Fuck 8% swingn to tories in Sunderland- 8 beers for me. \This could be a brutal night
__________________
Arnold Schwartz congratulates David Cameron with precisely 0% of vote counted. Let's do shit the American way and declare victory of exit polls.
__________________8% and 9% swings in Sunderland West and Central- this is when I start to die.
Posts go bye bye.

[Green Spanner]

Fuck 8% swingn to tories in Sunderland- 8 beers for me. \This could be a brutal night

I think it's only going to get worse...

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I thinkthat the end of Sunderland for a while and I'm still going. I'm hoping for a bunch of results in a row so I pass out.


Ok apparentely Britain is basically Africa, reports streaming in of people unable to vote- queues outside pollinng stations, people turned away. Fuck.

Also how the shit do people vote Tory? I don't understand.

[Green Spanner]

Ok apparentely Britain is basically Africa, reports streaming in of people unable to vote- queues outside pollinng stations, people turned away. Fuck.

The deadline clearly said 10pm. Why they're going to vote after that time I have no idea...

[Sifright]

People vote tory because they are hugely ignorant.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

No there were people queued up for hours from like 8pm and they weren't allowed to vote because they weren't processed in time. It's not their fault.

[Magus]

I don't know about other places but where I'm from if you are within the confines of the line or building or whatever by the time the polls are supposed to close they stay there and you get to vote no matter how long it takes, they lock the door to prevent new people coming in/prevent new people getting in line but absolutely everyone who is there by the closing time has the right to get processed and vote, as you said it's not their fault it is a long line and there are a lot of people ahead of them.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

According to the news reports, there were people who got to some polls as early as 8pm and didn't end up getting a vote cause they got locked out at 10pm. My info from here anyway http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/may/06/uk-election-results-2010-live.
Apparentely people rioted at some and they had to call in police.

I'm nearly passed out and these results are depressiong . Pass out for me.

[Green Spanner]

I'm nearly passed out and these results are depressiong . Pass out for me.

Another Tory seat.

Well fuck. Might have to pass out with you...

[Professor Smarmiarty]

One positive, looks like Labour-Lib Dems will be able to rule instead of the tories.

[Green Spanner]

One positive, looks like Labour-Lib Dems will be able to rule instead of the tories.

We can only hope.

Seriously, I think this (http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/johann-hari/johann-hari-welcome-to-cameron-land-1962318.html) should have been shown to all prospective Tory voters.


EDIT: Well done to the Greens in Brighton Pavilion

[BloodyMage]

Don't they need to make a 326 majority? A lab-lib government would only break 300.

[Revising Ocelot]

Don't they need to make a 326 majority? A lab-lib government would only break 300.

Yep. Still got 28 seats to be counted at this time, however.

[Fungrus]

So for anyone that cares it's officially a hung parliament. Probably going to get a Con minority government. I'm hoping that they do a deal with the Lib Dems getting an electoral reform referendum out of it, but that seems unlikely.

Amusingly the BBC said that the result is pretty much how the parties stood at the beginning of the election campaign, so maybe next time we don't need to spend 40 million pounds on smear leaflets.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

It still amazes me how minor the greens are here, compared to back home where they regularly hold 7-10 seats (in a 120 set parliament). And I hear news reports like : Green wins seat and my automatic thinking is so what?
Shit a green didn't even run in my electorate. Fuck FPP so hard.
As for th 328 things, this was based on the fact that as long as every party whos not the Tories/Unionists aligns on a "fuck the tories" platform they'll have enough.
Whatever Tories would do, they do the exact opposite. It'll work easy.

[Green Spanner]

As for th 328 things, this was based on the fact that as long as every party whos not the Tories/Unionists aligns on a "fuck the tories" platform they'll have enough.
Whatever Tories would do, they do the exact opposite. It'll work easy.

Also a Lib-Lab pact would have more than 50% of the vote, and therefore much more legitimacy than the Tories, number of seats be damned.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

But that's all from poor urban people. They don't count. Not as full people anyway.

[Revising Ocelot]

Looks like Cammy's the PM after all the HUNG PARLIAMENT DRAMA past few days. Don't know yet whether the Conservatives are making a coalition with the Lib Dems or not.
(EDIT: It's a coalition)


Harriet Harman as Labour leader is almost as scary as if Mandelson was the leader.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

hahahaha, I'm expecting the punchline to come.

[Revising Ocelot]

I already approve of Cameron - he got Eastenders off the screen.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

You could always not watch Eastenders. Worked pretty well for me.

[Revising Ocelot]

You could always not watch Eastenders.

That's what you think.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Pick up your remote! Push the power button! Problem solved!

[Green Spanner]

The Toryocalypse has begun...

Again.

[Revising Ocelot]

Pick up your remote! Push the power button! Problem solved!

That's what you think. Still.

There is no escape.

[BitVyper]

Amusingly the BBC said that the result is pretty much how the parties stood at the beginning of the election campaign, so maybe next time we don't need to spend 40 million pounds on smear leaflets.

So Britain is Canada now?