Colgate Total Plus Whitening is pretty much the best toothpaste

[Fifthfiend]

I really don't see how any other product could live up to my high standards of dental hygiene.

EDIT: I'll allow that the name is kind of stupid because I mean if it's called "Total" that should really include the whitening. The version of Total without whitening should just be like, "Crest Almost-Total".

Aside from that though it is pretty much the best.

EDIT: I mean the gel toothpaste, paste toothpaste is gross as fuck.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I had a hole in one of my teeth that has been their for years, it was macroscopic and could be felt by tongue and dentist couldn't do much about it because of its positioning. It was filled in by Colgate MaxWhite with microcrystals.

[POS Industries]

Fuck all y'alls. I brush my teeth with Colgate Total Advanced Whitening which pretty much blows everything else any of you ever put in your mouths* out of the water.


*for the purposes of dental hygiene.

[Amake]

I want a toothpaste that uses white blood cells to kill bacteria hard. Sometimes I bleed myself and rinse my mouth with the blood. I can almost hear the germs scream in pain.

[Osterbaum]

I use Crelm Toothpaste (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUOJzYtdTKI)!

[mauve]

Oh man, this one time, Colgate Total Plus Whitening saved my entire village from being destroyed by demonic velociraptor ninjas. It was awesome-- you should've been there!

[POS Industries]

I want a toothpaste that uses white blood cells to kill bacteria hard. Sometimes I bleed myself and rinse my mouth with the blood. I can almost hear the germs scream in pain.
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/chippettes2.jpg

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Fuck all y'alls. I brush my teeth with Colgate Total Advanced Whitening which pretty much blows everything else any of you ever put in your mouths* out of the water.

What the fuck? No way could they make it more advanced. Your are either a slimy mountebank or a delusional madman!

[Fifthfiend]

See this is what drives me nuts about the "Total" nomenclature, Total should just mean total, like that should be the maximum dental cleanliness coverage a toothpaste can have. There shouldn't have to be a Total Advanced I gotta worry about buying, Total itself should already incorporate the totality of advancements in toothpaste technology.

Like probably I use Total half the time and Total Advanced the other half because I just grab whatever says Total and assume I'm covered, but that means some of the time I'm not getting the maximum possible advancement of my toothbrushing experience, and really, that's just not the kind of life I'm trying to live.

[katiuska]

My toothpaste is labeled as Total Advanced Clean with Whitening. Out of curiosity, I looked it up to see where it fit in the whole scheme and saw that there was a whole mess of Colgate and Colgate Total varieties, including Total, Total Advanced, Total Whitening, Total Advanced Fresh, Total Advanced Clean, and Total Baking Soda and Peroxide Whitening, and now I just don't know anymore.

[Geminex]

See this is what drives me nuts about the "Total" nomenclature, Total should just mean total, like that should be the maximum dental cleanliness coverage a toothpaste can have. There shouldn't have to be a Total Advanced I gotta worry about buying, Total itself should already incorporate the totality of advancements in toothpaste technology.

Dude, you're thinking too small. It says "Total". It doesn't say "Epitome of dental hygiene". It says "Total". It should, by rights, include everything there ever was and will be, universes past and future.
Big Bangs every time you brush!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

See this is what drives me nuts about the "Total" nomenclature, Total should just mean total, like that should be the maximum dental cleanliness coverage a toothpaste can have. There shouldn't have to be a Total Advanced I gotta worry about buying, Total itself should already incorporate the totality of advancements in toothpaste technology.

Like probably I use Total half the time and Total Advanced the other half because I just grab whatever says Total and assume I'm covered, but that means some of the time I'm not getting the maximum possible advancement of my toothbrushing experience, and really, that's just not the kind of life I'm trying to live.

Total includes everything, Total advanced includes an advanced version of everything.

[BitVyper]

I want a toothpaste that uses white blood cells to kill bacteria hard. Sometimes I bleed myself and rinse my mouth with the blood. I can almost hear the germs scream in pain.

You... you know you could just use peroxide or something. Maybe a little bit of whiskey.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I hear flame works even better.

[Amake]

Those options sound unhealthy. Especially the alcohol part. And white blood cells are much more badass. :3

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Trust me, I'm a scientist.

[BitVyper]

I hear flame works even better.

Man, shut up. I'm trying to get her drunk.

[synkr0nized]

I want a toothpaste that uses white blood cells to kill bacteria hard. Sometimes I bleed myself and rinse my mouth with the blood. I can almost hear the germs scream in pain.
I don't think it works that way.

[Satan's Onion]

Just as long as the toothpaste isn't cinnamon-flavored. That's just plain disgusting.

[BitVyper]

Well obviously a dentist isn't going to tell you the solution to dental hygiene. Do you expect your plumber to tell you about the toilet fairy who fixes all your pipes in exchange for a bowl of milk too?

[Amake]

Man, shut up. I'm trying to get her drunk. Did I mention I murder people when I'm drunk?

Really. I rampage like a small, bony, grey Hulk. Fire would be much healthier.

And yeah, dentists probably don't want you to find out your own blood can do his job for them. But it's a known fact that blood will disinfect things. The fear is only that the bacteria you want to kill may develop resistance to it and then they'll kill you, but that only goes for people with weak, untrained white blood cells. Exercise them regularly by diving in sewers while playing Eye of the Tiger and you're good.

[Nikose Tyris]

Did I mention I murder people when I'm drunk?

Really. I rampage like a small, bony, grey Hulk. Fire would be much healthier.

Whelp, it's over, I've just found the most attractive woman on the internet. Game's over.

[Fenris]

Whelp, it's over, I've just found the most attractive woman on the internet. Game's over.

Where?

[A Zarkin' Frood]

There
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/3874/iqthedreamcrusherhahaha.gif (http://img189.imageshack.us/i/iqthedreamcrusherhahaha.gif/)

The one who just crushed the dreams of every guy on these forums. Except me. Because I'm immune to internet love. Ha!

EDIT: Oh man, that avatar. TAUNTING YOU! I bet to you it looks more like http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/5107/eatabug.gif

[Krylo]

The one who just crushed the dreams of every guy on these forums.

Who now?

[Amake]

Guys, it's okay. I'm an aquired taste, everyone knows that. Just relax and say more nice things about me.

Or about toothpaste if that's more your thing.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

What the shit happened to our nice thread about the merits of various toothpaste brands?

Let's get this back: Recentely I got a whole lot of those specially angled flosser things with plastic bit to hold onto and then a bit of floss strung between them.. Previously I had mocked them for their inefficency and plastic wastage but oh man do they make flossing easy- especially for me and my mishappen crag of a mouth.

[Krylo]

I hate flossing with a passion 'cause it's so damned inconvenient to get in there in some places.

I should totally look into getting some of those things, but they've always seemed like such a waste of space.

[pochercoaster]

I find the more you floss the easier it becomes- although my teeth aren't exceptionally crowded or anything. If you haven't gotten a cleaning in awhile flossing can be a bitch, though, 'cause the plaque build-up can take up quite a bit of space between your teeth. I think I'm the only person I know who enjoys getting cleanings from the dentist because my teeth and gums just feel so much nicer afterwards.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I hate flossing with a passion 'cause it's so damned inconvenient to get in there in some places.

I should totally look into getting some of those things, but they've always seemed like such a waste of space.

I thought so too until I tried them out! My life is forever changed.

[Seil]

http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/imgad?id=CJHwstjbuuuEFhCsAhjvATIIWencuLPq8Kk

[krogothwolf]

I thought so too until I tried them out! My life is forever changed.

Those things are great! I could never floss because it was so damn awkward. But those angle things made everything great. Plus you can use them as projectiles after wards

[Fifthfiend]

The one who just crushed the dreams of every guy on these forums. Except me. Because I'm immune to internet love. Ha!

If I'm supposed to be developing an embarrassing internet crush I at least need to see a photo or something first

[DFM]

Fuck all y'all I brush my teeth with soap and steel wool.

[Seil]

If I'm supposed to be developing an embarrassing internet crush I at least need to see a photo or something first

I found a picture of Invisible Queen for you, Fifth.

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/11500/Invisible-Queen--11859.jpg

[Hanuman]

The only problem with all toothpastes, is that they are not sold in this.
http://www.diyhappy.com/wp-content/images/_palmk_35mmFilmCanister.JPG

So I have to squeeze like half a tube into it.

Seriously guys, when I was backpacking around I found out that you can saw off a toothbrush (so its just short enough to fit inside a film canister) then fill another canister with toothpaste, and another with sunscreen... to use the toothbrush just pinch between finger and thumb, brush head facing away from index, and overlap the index so it becomes a brace.

Works perfectly.

[Osterbaum]

I found a picture of Invisible Queen for you, Fifth.
Hawt. Am I rite?

[Fifthfiend]

First-rate GISing there Poetisch, well done.

[Bells]

I see a lot of talk about toothpaste technology, but not enough about Toothpaste FLAVOR.

http://www.overstockdrugstore.com/product_images/x/037000064862.jpg

EDIT: Actually...

http://images.stanzapub.com/readers/purpleslinky/2008/05/23/168203_0.jpg

[Seil]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kou3iwrZFA1qzbt2yo1_500.jpg

[phil_]

Scotch flavored toothpaste? I thought you were trying to make your breath smell unnaturally fresh when you brush your teeth, not make your breath smell like you just got home from the bar.

Wait, I got it! "I haven't been drinking; it's just my toothpaste!" But, secretly, I have been drinking! How useful!

[Seil]

Or, you could just really like whiskey.

All the taste. None of the hangover.

[BitVyper]

Did I mention I murder people when I'm drunk?

What did you think the point was?

What the shit happened to our nice thread about the merits of various toothpaste brands?

I happened.

[Odjn]

I just brush my teeth with whatever and use Crest whitening strips.

Seriously those things are goddamn amazing my teeth are white motherfucker!

[Archbio]

I brush my teeth with silt.