The thread where Jenny is the most attractive woman on the Internet

[Amake]

Since we don't want to derail the scintillating toothpaste thread, let's use this thread to talk about how awesome I am.

Okay, you can insult me as you like in this thread too. Since I am standing here and saying these things I probably need an ego check? Flame away, I can take it.

Because I'm that awesome.

And, as a point of fact, fireproof.

Not to mention totally enlightened, working the best job in the world and happily married to my two best friends.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

happily married to my two best friends.

You married your boobs??

Thought I would start this thread in the place it belongs.

[pochercoaster]

Can I post this? Yeah. I think I can post this...

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/20/facepalmdisplay.jpg

I wanted to post the other facepalm picture that's a collage of various anime characters, but I was too lazy to resize it. So we have to go with this.

[Amake]

Good one Smarty, but no, Simon and Garfunkel and I are not that good friends. Nothing against them at all, but they're not like real people.

(The left one is Simon.)

PS. "I'm sorry captain Picard, I can't hear you over the sound of how AWESOME I am."

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Good you opened this thread. The toothpaste discussion was a bit too high-brow for me.

[krogothwolf]

Not to mention totally enlightened, working the best job in the world and happily married to my two best friends.

Man, I was only allowed to marry one person, stupid polygamy laws! Although I suppose they don't really have anything against having a mistress, so whats the point of the damn laws!

If someone wants to be stupid enough to have 2 wives, or husbands. And get double the bitching then they should be allowed to damn it! Otherwise they'd just have mistresses and shit.

[Bells]

Being an attractive woman on the internetz with ovarian fortitude you just might open yourself for a avalanche of epeen jokes of overwhelming proportions... but then i look at your avatar and "Pedobear" comes to mind....

[Revising Ocelot]

Facepalms are so... er... so in the past of something. I prefer suspicious looks.
http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/7826/jokert.jpg

[synkr0nized]

So we're basing attractiveness here solely on one's dental hygiene and text posts?

[Seil]

This was the first picture there when I typed in "jenny -mccarthy" (because Jenny McCarthy kept dominated the first search) so I guess? Jenny is pretty sexy.

http://www.austinchronicle.com/binary/d8aa/jenny.jpg

[Professor Smarmiarty]

But Simon and Garfunkel aren't attractive....

[Terex4]

Simon and Garfunkel aren't attractive....
Clever name scheme to make sure people look at her eyes?

[krogothwolf]

Clever name scheme to make sure people look at her eyes?

Women have eyes?

[Fifthfiend]

I'm gonna continue talking about you over in the Colgate thread I hope that's cool

[A Zarkin' Frood]

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/11500/Invisible-Queen--11859.jpg

Thanks Seil for the Pic!
This is hot!

EDIT: Thanks Seil for the other Pic!
This is also hot!

[Seil]

(NSFW) Look what I found! (http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/871/sexygk2.jpg)

I'm so bored!

[Amake]

I'm not gonna argue with a secret agent T-rex, you do what you want Fifth.

Pedobear will never touch Yotsuba.

It's more of a commonlaw marriage really.

Simon and Garfunkel are unremarkable at first glance, but they have a subtle harmony and earnestness and lasting power past their plain, scaled-down appearence.

Those two pictures make a good portrait I think.

And for any further questions I'd direct you to the link below.

Re.edit: It's either the musicians or my breasts. I'm being ambiguous here.

[Seil]

Just to be clear, Jenny, we're talking about these two?

http://rpiarchives.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/simon_garfunkel.jpg

[Bells]

Just to be clear, Jenny, we're talking about these two?

http://rpiarchives.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/simon_garfunkel.jpg

Now, see, this is a trap... i could totally tell what she was really talking about, buit that's like the half point to bannedom right now.

[Loyal]

Considering what Seil's already gotten away with posting, you're probably safe.

[krogothwolf]

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d8/jester_3993/cleavage.jpg

I thought it was these 2!

[Bells]

Even if it's not, who cares!? Please, invite them in!

[Amake]

I'm not sure what's going on in this thread anymore. Those are definitely a pair of boobs. Let's. . .look at them I guess? They're certainly more attractive to the average person than Simon and Garfunkel.

[Hanuman]

Invisible queen is probably my favorite poster. Wait a sec, I'll check.
Yup, favorite.

Lev's stamp of approval, level 1, goes to Invisible Queen for good posting.

[Si Civa]

I thought it was these 2!

But boobs don't sing!

[DFM]

So it's page two and I still don't even know who Jenny is, except she's got something to do with the dudes who sang that Hello Darkness My Old Friend song and that was a pretty good song so if Jenny's got something to do with that then that's pretty cool I guess but she's got to be dead by now it's been like... since black and white times when that song was written so that's like what sixty years? I'm pretty sure people don't live to be older than like sixty three so unless she was younger than three when she was involved with the song then she's dead by now and if she was younger than three then I don't know what the fuck she was doing that had anything to do with them making the song because a baby can't write songs. Maybe she could have served as inspiration but man the song is not about a baby I don't care what you say about author intent.

There was a pair of boobs up near the top of the page I don't know if that was related to the song somehow or was like a pun calling those guys boobs which maybe they were I don't know, I just know that that one song was pretty cool. I did notice that whoever the lady/ladyboy was her shirt is way too small, that is practically a non-functional shirt and I hope she gets a refund for it unless she stole it from her kid sister/brother as some kind of cruel sibling based act of villainy which I would not put past any older sister, or as the Germans call them "Das Fucking Bitches who need to stop stealing my shirts and prancing around singing 'girl shirts girl shirts brother's wearing giiiiiiirl shirts' because they're not girl shirts they're just a little baggy up front for some reason that doesn't mean they're a girls shirt shut up and give them back" which is weirdly long for a German term.

Somebody tell me who Jenny is.

[Amake]

I'm Jenny Creed, nice to meetcha. I'd thought that was clear by sentence 1 of the first post. :I

[Geminex]

Did you name your breasts yourself, or did someone else do that for you?

[Amake]

It was all me. A stroke of inspiration, really. They fit so well. Simon does almost all the work, Garfunkel basically just sits there, but he's still essential to fill up the stage. From the right angle either of them could be nearly invisible while the other stands out, and in the dark you can hardly tell them apart.

I could go on all day.

[Odjn]

Can I post this? Yeah. I think I can post this...

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/20/facepalmdisplay.jpg

I wanted to post the other facepalm picture that's a collage of various anime characters, but I was too lazy to resize it. So we have to go with this.

I have been looking for this thank you.

Also, how appropriate to discover it in this thread!

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Invisible queen is probably my favorite poster. Wait a sec, I'll check.
Yup, favorite.

Lev's stamp of approval, level 1, goes to Invisible Queen for good posting.

Funny story involving IQ, Lev and me.
I mean, Invisible Queen/Jenny (whichever you prefer) was not even there, but that's the precise point of this story.

One day I was idly playing Diablo II with nothing bad in mind. But suddenly Lev signed on. Hold on, this isn't a bad thing. In fact it doesn't get bad, I still had nothing bad in mind and it would remain so till the end of that day, probably.

Apparently Lev chatted with someone whom he referred to as "Queen" via the message all friends feature.
Mmmh, could he possibly mean Invisible Jenny? A quick glance at my contact list told me she wasn't signed on. So I told Lev that and he replied with something along the lines of "That's too bad."
Later he joined my game to play for a bit and well... I could swear he was hitting on me (it's a shame I don't have the log proving the opposite, not that there's anything that can be proven). Really. And he called me Queen. I mean, I like the band and all, but how could Lev know that? Still, it would be pretty weird to refer to someone by the name of a band he likes. Being called Rockin' Pony, pixieguts or Satan's Almighty Penis would be awesome, I admit that. But I listen to neither of those. Except some pixieguts. But that's a girly name.

Anyway, Lev called me Queen, and I thought that was pretty weird because I'm pretty sure he must've copypasted a list of our handles which clearly stated that I, InsaneGenius, am Atomschlag in D2. On top of the list. Because I wrote it and am a ego bitch. Don't you ever read what you copy and paste, Lev?

Hilarity ensued.
Actually it was already over because I said who I really am.
"What, you're not Invisible Queen?"

In retrospect, though, maybe I should've had a little fun with him first.

From that day on he called me Genius and whenever he uses that name whatever he says sounds really sarcastic in my head.

[Fifthfiend]

No but seriously who's this "Jenny" I keep hearing about.

[Archbio]

A jenny is a female donkey or ass.

[Fifthfiend]

A jenny is a female donkey or ass.

http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt148/fifthfiend/reactions/nukeemrico.gif

[Seil]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jenny

[Amake]

Heh, that's like a collection of love letters to various people called Jenny, sorted from love to hate.

Once upon a time writing a diss in Urbandictionary was the cool way to flame someone for about 15 minutes. Fun times, but I don't think any of those Jennies are me.

Yes, I read all of the definitions and took them personally until otherwise proven.

[Flarecobra]

I'm surprised no one's mentioned the Pokemon one yet.

[Amake]

http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt148/fifthfiend/reactions/nukeemrico.gif

I hate how the movies always show these kind of ground-bursting explosions as a series of lines of dirt getting thrown into the air one by one, as if explosions were made of polite concentric circles detonating individually.

Also, what about Pokemons?

[Tev]

Also, what about Pokemons?
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b236/SnoresZzZzZ/OfficerJenny-DP43.png

[Hanuman]

Aw don't be sad genius, I still love you =]

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Knowing this I should be able to sleep well now.
Thank you Lev.

[Ecks]

MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT

Dee, don`t you EVER do this again. I tried to read that while still on my DSi. The seething rage and hatred I'm feeling now are indescribeable. Good thing I have a notoriously horrible short-term memory.

[Loyal]

...That's (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showpost.php?p=1037268&postcount=26) a massive wall of text? It's hardly even enough to cover the user info/profile box!

[Osterbaum]

It's clearly too much text for DFM. I mean, his posts are usually pretty short.

[synkr0nized]

...That's (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showpost.php?p=1037268&postcount=26) a massive wall of text? It's hardly even enough to cover the user info/profile box!


EckScizor is using a DSi, apparently, to browse the forum. I expect anything beyond "rofl", "tl;dr", "I agree", and so forth is a massive wall.


But in reality we haven't had any walls in a while in most threads.

[Token]

Dee, don`t you EVER do this again. I tried to read that while still on my DSi. The seething rage and hatred I'm feeling now are indescribeable. Good thing I have a notoriously horrible short-term memory.

It's your own goddamn fault for trying to read a forum on a DSi.

[phil_]

But in reality we haven't had any walls in a while in most threads.
Have you seen the Order of the Stick thread recently? Tacticslion et al. are practically writing a thesis in there. The thesis is about Hold Portal.

[tacticslion]

Have you seen the Order of the Stick thread recently? Tacticslion et al. are practically writing a thesis in there. The thesis is about Hold Portal.

Hey! ... I totally am too! (It's moved to Playing Games, now).

[TDK]

Jenny Creed is a pretty fucking awesome name.

But Simon and Garfunkle aren't very good names for tits.

[Nikose Tyris]

...WHAT THE HELL GUYS.

I MAKE ONE SMARTASS COMMENT AND THIS HAPPENS.

SCREW IT MAUVE IS THE BEST AGAIN, LIKE SHE WAS -ORIGINALLY.-

[Premmy]

The fact that everyone on this forum has seen her naked makes this thread awesome.

[Rejected Again]

The fact that everyone on this forum has sen her naked makes this thread awesome.

I haven't :(

And by the looks of it Simon is larger than Garfunkle. . . .

[Geminex]

Neither have I. This state of affairs is not acceptable.

[Rejected Again]

Neither have I. This state of affairs is not acceptable.

This situation must be remedied post haste!

[Premmy]

Oh, you ALL have, trust me.

[Loyal]

Didn't we already make a "I can't see the invisible person" joke like three weeks ago?

[Premmy]

NO, I'm not even joking here. Fucking HILARIOUS.

[DFM]

EckScizor is using a DSi, apparently, to browse the forum. I expect anything beyond "rofl", "tl;dr", "I agree", and so forth is a massive wall.


But in reality we haven't had any walls in a while in most threads.


Wait until Solid Snake is done with his lawbook shit then we'll be back to normal.

[Rejected Again]

Wait until Solid Snake is done with his lawbook shit then we'll be back to normal.

I'm going to pay him to sue someing. I don't know who, or for what. But just wait...

Also, I don't care about the invisible joke. I saw it, I laughed at it, but I'm just going off this to see what happens.

[Loyal]

NO, I'm not even joking here. Fucking HILARIOUS.I don't think that pic on page two is really her, despite it being her old avatar.

[Premmy]

Page two of what?

[Loyal]

...post sixteen.

Lousy fancypants >10 page-per-post hooligans.

[Seil]

You know that I had to track her down to the Giant In The Playground forums to find that image?

[Wigmund]

You know that I had to track her down to the Giant In The Playground forums to find that image?

Who else do you stalk Seil?

[Seil]

Nah, she just wrote up "I'm hot" on the forum, and when I looked up her screen name on the Google, there were a few images that popped up, that among them.

[DFM]

http://www.facebook.com/profile/pic.php?uid=AAAAAQAQCxI9cWu-sR1o2Z7yOlgCVAAAAAoFLQWwMDJKPF-Ok7gI4eSl

I don't know if I want the first google hit for Jenny Creed to be accurate or not.

[Amake]

SCREW IT MAUVE IS THE BEST AGAIN, LIKE SHE WAS -ORIGINALLY.-
*tear*

"I'm hot"
When did I ever say that? >_>
Not that I wouldn't.

Re. the naked picture, that is done in photoshop. I'll leave it to your imagination how accurate it is.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Now that this thread's over I'll have to find another thread to use my shitty pun.
It's just so hard to find an opening. But I'm sure I'll get the perfect opportunity to disappoint you all at some point.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

You know that I had to track her down to the Giant In The Playground forums to find that image?

Nah, she just wrote up "I'm hot" on the forum, and when I looked up her screen name on the Google, there were a few images that popped up, that among them.

That is fucking creepy

[Whomper]

That is fucking creepyThat is fucking Seil. Welcome to the forums! :B But seriously, Seil's ability to pull up info has stemmed past creepy, wrapping around to eccentric.

Now let's get back to talking about boobs.

[Geminex]

Now that this thread's over I'll have to find another thread to use my shitty pun.
It's just so hard to find an opening. But I'm sure I'll get the perfect opportunity to disappoint you all at some point.

As a representative of the punsman's guild, I hereby demand that you reveal any and all puns hidden within your mind for the betterment of society!

[Osterbaum]

Maybe Seil could search some info on boobs for us.

[Tev]

Nah, she just wrote up "I'm hot" on the forum, and when I looked up her screen name on the Google, there were a few images that popped up, that among them.That's a neat trick. I tried that and found out I have a .org (http://www.tev.org.tr/en-us/Pages/default.aspx)!

[A Zarkin' Frood]

As a representative of the punsman's guild, I hereby demand that you reveal any and all puns hidden within your mind for the betterment of society!
Look! It's the pun police! Sorry, but I have trouble respecting authorities that have no authority over ANYTHING (and some others too). You can't seriously demand me to... reveal all my puns. A good punmancer never gives away his puns before their time has come. He waits for that perfect moment. That one second in time that gives their sly pun the power it needs to blow minds. Only the most cunning linguists manage to hit just that spot in the timeline that gives their twisting of words, language and understanding of such the effect that impresses even the most stubborn anti-pun activist to come out of his shell.
Although I am not among the elite, I knew the time wasn't right.

I'm gonna admit it was pretty close, even posted it, but then I retreated my pun. The moment wasn't perfect. I hope no one saw it, because in this context it was more than just lame.


Now let's get back to talking about boobs.
I like boobs.

[Amake]

As a representative of the punsman's guild, I hereby demand that you reveal any and all puns hidden within your mind for the betterment of society! I second that motion. Can't have too many puns.

And by motion I don't mean repetitive motions like breasts unrestrained, heaving and rippling in the act of physical motion, the human body a wondrous machine, lithe and arching and slippery from its own juices and quivering at the very edge of endurance when pushed past its limits in the pursuit of some kind of happiness. Yeah, definitely none of that and I'm not writing this under the influence of a muchness of sugar and caffeine or anything.

So are we gonna talk about breasts or what?

[Tev]

http://www.megahowto.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Chicken-Breasts1.jpg

[Whomper]

The woman's asking if we're gonna talk about breasts, and you guys are going on about puns? Please turn in your man cards. Meanwhile, I'll be over here motorboating. :D

[Amake]

Mmm, chicken breasts. I love chicken. I never understood people who say different kinds of meats taste like chicken*, they don't really taste the chicken I think. It has its own taste, its own texture and fabric and juicyness (dependent as it may be on the skill of the cook and the age and breeding of the animal).

*There's a guy in The Matrix who has a speech about how the Machines couldn't figure out what chicken tasted like which is why it tastes like everything. I think his name is Apoc. It's either Switch, Mouse and Apoc and Switch is the girl. Apoc always confused me. What the Hell is an Apoc? Short for Apocalyspe? It should be some computer hardware but I'm not geeky enough to know what it is.

So about those boobs. I'm a shameless bisexual I think I've covered in other threads, and as such I feel entitled to give my opinions on boobs. They should be attached to girls, not boys. They should be small, pert, and firm. I think my mind is by nature contrarian. Contradictuous. Whatever. Because the popular consciousness insists that huge boobs are attractive, I prefer the opposite. Or maybe I'm just narcissistic. (Oh really?)

Interesting tidbit: While the culturally dominant Untied States of America insists that huge boobs is what makes a woman attractive, a test sponsored by porn mags once showed that this is a national phenomenon. For contrast, here in Sweden it was determined that the sexiest state of womankind is that of a woman "rising from a pool of water". Throughout the sixties, seventies and eighties and maybe some of the nineties you could see a definitive trend of pin-ups of naked women stepping out of swimming pools and rivers and lakes and seas. Drops of water accenturating their skin. Their eyes, in some cases, shining with the particular insight that bathing naked in the sea is fucking sensuous as holy burning Hell. It revs my engine almost as much as the image of Johnny Depp naked and covered in oil.

And then we got fully enculturated with the United States I guess. Who needs a cultural or psychosexual identity when you've got a big, shiny country calling the shots? I imagine this paradigm shift occurred when Soviet fell and America emerged as the world's only superpower. I like collectivism and all but gimme a break.

This has been a drug-fueled rant because I wanted to make, once in my life, something resembling a durnk post, like the cool kids. And we know I can't get drunk.

[Tev]

The woman's asking if we're gonna talk about breasts, and you guys are going on about puns? Please turn in your man cards. Meanwhile, I'll be over here motorboating. :D
Whomps....you really need to head over to Japan and see what they put in vending machines...

http://plasticized.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451afc469e201127972ef1728a4-800wi

[Melfice]

I am utterly confused when I read this thread.
I mean... confused.

Yeah, I get the general gist of the thread (talk about boobs which is generally awesome, and wondering who's surprised Seil stalks people. Also, somebody mentioned motorboating which I'm all for), but still I'm left with a lingering "What.".

Yeah, I guess what I'm saying here is... "Posting in an epic thread", as they say on GameFAQs, though thoroughly confused about it.

[Jagos]

Thanks Tev. I was trying not to remember that one.

[Tev]

Thanks Tev. I was trying not to remember that one.
You know you threw Yen in that machine! :dance:

[DFM]

The woman's asking if we're gonna talk about breasts, and you guys are going on about puns? Please turn in your man cards. Meanwhile, I'll be over here motorboating. :D

Noooooo not my man card.

Now I can't work power tools.

[Amake]

QUOTE equals Melfice CLOSE BRACKETS SLASH QUOTE
http://i618.photobucket.com/albums/tt262/Apicturemake/epicbead.jpg
It's a confusing thread. It's a singularly selfish thread, the most egomanical effort I've made in at least five hundred years. But people are too nice to give but the most vague of hints that it's garbage, so mostly it's a thrill-packed ride, a celebration of, well, me. Or life in general. I choose to believe it's the latter.

Anyway, it's the first time in all my life anyone's suggested I've made an epic thread. Makes me feel all warm and tingly. Seriosuly, my fingers are tingling. Of course that may be the sugar.




On reflection, it might be the thread is confusing because it's about me and no one really knows who I am. It's a fault of mine that's been mentioned before: I don't talk about myself enough. Let's have a vote: Should I write an essay about myself, or do whatever it is people do to get down from a caffeine and sugar high?

[A Zarkin' Frood]

You should absolutely tell us everything about yourself now, while you're still under the influence of your drugs.

[Melfice]

Also, pictures. Of yourself. 'Cause that's totally part of the package when you talk about yourself. Yup.

EDIT: Did I just push it...? 'Cause I really was just kidding. <__<

[Amake]

Well, I really don't want to put an advertisment here, it's really very tacky, and I had a long-assed cheesy post written here, but when I think about it you'll never get as much information or as many pictures of me as if you follow the link in my sig. It's a blag that's mostly me writing my autobiography. And my husband drawing pictures.

Feel free to not click it if you're not interested, DFM.

[DFM]

No don't.

Don't write it.

[Seil]

That is fucking Seil. Welcome to the forums! :B But seriously, Seil's ability to pull up info has stemmed past creepy, wrapping around to eccentric.

You would agree with Mesden and Fifth, wouldn't you.

[Fifthfiend]

Setting aside the idea that me and Mesden autoagree on anything, why would Womper get thrown in with that?

I mean we don't even agree on how his name is spelled.

Look what I found! (http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/871/sexygk2.jpg)

I'm so bored!

Whoa, nude-art link.

[Seil]

It's the full version of IQ's old avatar, a post she repped me for.

[Fifthfiend]

It's the full version of IQ's old avatar, a post she repped me for.

And that is certainly a sentence made up of words.

do whatever it is people do to get down from a caffeine and sugar high?

I usually make avatars of Ryker or write threads about threads in the voice of that infomercial guy who died.

[BitVyper]

the thread is confusing because it's about me and no one really knows who I am.

Correction: No one without cameras in every room of your home and a professional surveillance team monitoring your every move really knows who you are. And FYI; you forgot to pick up milk today.

[Amake]

Bluff called: I almost never drink milk. :p

[DFM]

We're running fiberwire mainframe scans on his ISP PCP ethernet dataports, we'll have this sorted out in no time, ma'am.

Funny, this can't be right... according to our tracer bots HIS POSTS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Bluff called: I almost never drink milk. :p

Yeah, well, I also almost never drink milk.
But it certainly magically ends up in a lot of stuff I eat.

Milk is really versatile. You can't tell me you don't need milk in your household.

Bluff called: Big Brother is watching you.

[Geminex]

Dudes, get off my turf. It's my turn to watch her.

[Rejected Again]

I still have an hour on the telescope. Chill, I'll let you know when its your turn....Sweet! Shower time.

[Amake]

No, I don't need milk. Occasionally I luxuriate with various dairy products in my food, but even then almost never milk. I get my calcium from butter and cheese on sammiches.

Also, I just went to the store and nowhere near the shower. :)

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Isn't cheese... milk?

Fun Fact: I once wrote a post detailing my shower adventures which quickly turned into a rant regarding the lack of shower cabins derailing into how Germany started both world wars (then there was a hilarious typo) on some other forums. Good times (http://www.last.fm/group/What+the+hell%27s+the+point+of+Last.fm+groups%3F/forum/29764/_/441370/1).

Wow, did you know? The words detail and derail are the same, save for one letter. Those two letters are right next to each other on your average keyboard. Fascinating.

[Geminex]

Reading the first few responses in that thread, I must say that IQ's is more epic than yours.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I didn't mean to post something "epic", I just wanted to contribute something to the topic of showering. Maaaaaan.

EDIT: I'm pretty sure we had an orgy some pages later.

[Meister]

None of you is allowed to say epic anymore unless it literally concerns fighting in grand scale battles, slaying mythical beasts and gaining divine favours.

[Krylo]

None of you is allowed to say epic anymore unless it literally concerns fighting in grand scale battles, slaying mythical beasts and gaining divine favours.

Quoting an epic post.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

In my defense I'd like to point out that I used quotes.
EDIT: Well, so did Krylo, although in another way.

[Geminex]

3 posts by Germans in a row, does that qualify as a hostile takeover?

[Amake]

Just don't mention the war.

[Geminex]

I'm a great fan of what-if scenarios. I had this huge debate on the XKCD forums, what would've happened if Germany had expanded its bioweapons program.

[BitVyper]

Bluff called: I almost never drink milk.

God you're selfish. You ever think there might be people going through your things when you're not around who'd like the occasional glass of milk?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I'm a great fan of what-if scenarios. I had this huge debate on the XKCD forums, what would've happened if Germany had expanded its bioweapons program.

Pretty much nothing different?

[BitVyper]

Pretty much nothing different?

Well, we might have better WWII horror stories.

[Geminex]

Oh come on. D'you know how close Britain was to starvation during the first happy time (or whatever that period's called when U-boats were hitting shipping and convoys hadn't yet been formed)? Had the Third Reich attacked agriculture with even primitive methods (I'm talking stuff like baking Anthrax into cow treats and scattering them across pastures here; Great Britain was actually preparing such an operation, it would've been possible) and they might've collapsed. This'd require more reallocation than just dedicating more research to bioweapons, I'm aware, but employing a new strategic weapons system lies at its core.

Y'know, a few posts ago I was gonna write IN THIS THREAD WE NOW DISCUSS WORLD WAR TWO, but this is much more effective.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Germany was nowhere close to winning World War 2. It is amazing that hey survived as long as they did.
Also I'm not sure waht bioweapons they could have made that would have been more effective than just bombing them considering the industrial outlays and technical knowledge of the 40s. Anthrax into cowtreats is nearly as stupid as when the US military investigated "gay bombs" that would turn people gay and htus prevent them fighting effectively.
The first happy time wasn't particularly that bad, sure people were hungry but nowhere near collapse and die. It was no potato famine.

[BitVyper]

Plus there's that pesky Russian front.

[Amake]

I imagine if Germany had done better in the war America would have joined in sooner, and there would be less resentment about them only showing up to save the day when practically all the work was already done. (Which may or may not be true.) Maybe there would even have been a lasting Russia-America alliance and we could have done something better with the last fifty years of the twentieth century than trading insults and building walls between socialism and individualism.

In an optimistic analysis. ^_^

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Nah we all know the Americans won World War 2! The Russians did nothing! I saw it in a movie.
You can't tell lies in movies. They have to sign a contract before hand saying they won't.

Really the only situation I can see Germany winning involves time travelling robots.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

So, what if Nazi Germany stole Einstein's time machine?

[Amake]

Then we'd get Dean Koontz' novel Lightning. I've been reading that just now because Life Unexpected reminded me of its excellent orphanage action.

The machine here has some funny traits by the way:
* It takes fantastic amounts of energy to open its portal, but then it can be kept open infinitely for cheap while still changing destinations.
* You can only go to the future, but then it takes the same effort to go one minute into the future as six billion years. You can carry as much junk both ways as can fit through the portal, about 2 meters in diameter.
* Returning can be done from anywhere, at any time, by pressing a button on your belt. You always return 11 minutes after departure. (Unless the plot demands otherwise.)
* You can't go to the same time twice, so you'll never meet yourself. Even though there are at least two ways to get around this rule it's decidedly impossible, and it never happens.
* You can only go further than 1988 if you're the protagonist. That's not an official rule, but there must be some reason it never happens.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Use of a time travel machine to change the outcome of a whole war is surprisingly difficult unless they can go to the future and get some kind of device which just murders opposition soldiers and not their own and plugs into a 1940s electrical socket.
I don't know if they oculd pull it off.

[CABAL49]

The United States could have never gotten along with those godless Soviets. The only reason we tolerate the Chinese is because they make toys for happy meals.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/426/ussovietloveandpeace.png (http://img294.imageshack.us/i/ussovietloveandpeace.png/)

[Professor Smarmiarty]

The United States could have never gotten along with those godless Soviets. The only reason we tolerate the Chinese is because they make toys for happy meals.

Rocky 4 proves you wrong. Truth in movies people, I'm telling you it works.

[Amake]

"Movies have shown their simplified picture of reality for so long that reality is now modeled after movies."

Some bitter old man said that.

I think you'd have liked him Smarty.

Also why is that picture signed White Power?

[Revising Ocelot]

Uh... wait. How did this topic get onto World War 2 from the title? Is someone going to invoke Godwin's Lair and Invisible Queen becomes one of Those Wacky Nazis, speaking in pseudo-German and constantly berating the lower rank officers in entertaining and slightly kinky ways? *walks off babbling*

[Amake]

I think the tipping point was when I said "Don't mention the war". It's the surest way to initiate a conversation about the war. :)

Anyway as another sub-topic of attraction, because I happened to see a thread at the Escapist but I'm actually loath to post there, I've concieved of this:

Are you attracted to people by skin color? Like, say, do you think dirty thoughts about people of your own color or otherwise? Any particular ethnic preference? Do you not care at all? That's probably the politically correct answer.

Me, I've lived most my life among white people and I identify with them although technically my skin color is close to #888888. Persons of color are actually quite rare around here. And I think that's what makes them attractive to me. Nine times out of ten they make my heart ache and my fingers tingle in a way that less than one in ten whiteys can. I guess I just like those who are different. Is that weird?

[greed]

Most people are conditioned to like the unusual to some degree and some really prefer the unusual, that's why people with lots of blondes and brunettes in their family will like redheads, or in reverse, the women in my family are all redheads and blondes, and I have a thing for dark to black brunettes.


I think the tipping point was when I said "Don't mention the war". It's the surest way to initiate a conversation about the war. :)

If you're lucky. Otherwise it descends into rehashing Mony Python jokes after people run out Fawlty Towers ones(which is easy as there's only like 8 admittedly spectacular epsiodes, you can go through every good joke pretty quickly).

[Professor Smarmiarty]

"Movies have shown their simplified picture of reality for so long that reality is now modeled after movies."

Some bitter old man said that.

I think you'd have liked him Smarty.

Also why is that picture signed White Power?

I hate bitter old men. Bitter young men are the way of the future.

[Masaki-kun]

If you're lucky. Otherwise it descends into rehashing Monty Python jokes after people run out Fawlty Towers ones(which is easy as there's only like 8 admittedly spectacular epsiodes, you can go through every good joke pretty quickly).
I'm not the only one whose mind snapped to Fawlty Towers. Awesome. My girlfriend and I have coined the term "Fawlty" to refer to a situation where one has not only failed, but taken fail up like a battering ram and driven it deep into the heart of self-inflicted injury.