Mistaaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaake

[Amake]

Let us share stories about our goofiest mistakes and with the most disproportionately unintentional consequences.

Once upon a time rang a fire alarm in an empty office building I was cleaning, in a freak accident. As the fire department showed up with all the bells and whistles, I was completely calm. It's a certain kind of calm, on the peak of a hundred foot wave of adrenaline, that I believe can affect just about anyone in moments of absolute life or death danger.

So I was able to explain to the fire master in simple and clear terms that it was a mistake, I had been nearly asleep while waiting for some rags to be laundred and somehow poked the alarm without meaning to. The master drilled me a while about the cost of false alarms and so on and asked if I had any idea what should be done next. I, still perfectly calm as I watched my next three months' entertainment money fly away, said "Send me the bill I guess."

I think that line was a mistake, but mostly it was just me being so in control and not at all freaking out. My boss received a report where I had callously triggered the alarm for fun because I was bored and probably a deranged psycho. Then I was fired. Though it turned out I didn't have to pay the bill, probably because the bossman was worried about upsetting me.

[bluestarultor]

I was doing my second ever job interview and it came to a question about what I looked for in a manager. My first job had been a mom and pop place. This was Pick 'n Save. Before I could stop myself, I was babbling a long description of essentially how a mom and pop place was run, stuff like having a personal relationship with all the workers and knowing what's going on in all their lives, leading from the front, helping with the grunt work, etc. As soon as I started, I realized I was making a mistake, because corporate places are NOT mom and pop places, especially when they're on the Wal-Mart model. Apparently, the manager agreed with me. I was hired.

[EVILNess]

There was a possum in my room last night. It was just THERE, eating a taco I had left over from dinner.

I tried to shoo it away with a broom. I jumped at my face.

I cried out like a little girl. It was embarrasing.

No seriously, I am a BIG guy. I'm six-one and weigh 300 lbs. I have a large frame. I am the difinition of big boned, and I hit Soprano.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

One time, when I was in seventh or eighth grade, I thought it was a good idea to shut a glass door by gently pushing with my palm. It broke and cut my wrist. The artery to be a bit more accurate.
It was across the road, not down the highway, so I wasn't even worried. I still haven't seen so much blood my entire life. I thought it was kinda cool, my brother was there too. My mother came home and saw the blood. I just told her to not freak out and she was okay.
After that I had some pizza, I remember.

[Mr.Bookworm]

One time, when I was in seventh or eighth grade, I thought it was a good idea to shut a glass door by gently pushing with my palm. It broke and cut my wrist. The artery to be a bit more accurate.
It was across the road, not down the highway, so I wasn't even worried. I still haven't seen so much blood my entire life. I thought it was kinda cool, my brother was there too. My mother came home and saw the blood. I just told her to not freak out and she was okay.
After that I had some pizza, I remember.

I'd say you didn't cut an artery. If you cut an honest-to-God artery more than incredibly superficially, no matter how you cut it, you're almost certainly going to die without medical care.

You'll also have blood literally squirting out of the wound in time with your heart.

So, yeah.

I have a similar story though. I was a kid, and after a bit of yardwork, leaned against this old glass door we had. It broke, cutting up my arm pretty bad. Fortunately, the cuts weren't that deep, there wasn't any glass in them, and it didn't hurt at all, so I coped with it pretty well.

[Amake]

I'll top both of you: I jump kicked a glass door to open it, missed the frame and put my leg through it. Then I made it about five minutes down the road before a buddy noticed a giant hole in my pants, and on closer investigation a river of blood down my leg.

I was like 20 at the time too.

[Magic_Marker]

Blues, it's not a mistake if you get a job out of it.

[Meister]

Can we all be Stupid With Glass Buddies? In my case it was a window but I feel that oughta count.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I'd say you didn't cut an artery. If you cut an honest-to-God artery more than incredibly superficially, no matter how you cut it, you're almost certainly going to die without medical care.


It was. But it was more or less just scratched a bit. There still was quite some blood.
I made it without seeing a doctor. I guess I just flipped death the finger.

I have a picture of another glass related injury somewhere. But I can't seem to find it right now. I'll let you know if I find it.

[bluestarultor]

Blues, it's not a mistake if you get a job out of it.

I suppose not, but it certainly felt like it at the time and I won't be pulling that stunt again without taking the situation into careful consideration.

[Nique]

Blues, it's not a mistake if you get a job out of it.

It was an extremely lucky mistake. Points to blues for being honest though!

[Red King]

So when I was like 15, me and a few friends y'know. We got this great idea. We had this big church behind our house, with a nice smooth parking lot. Well. Someone had left a couple of those old metal shopping carts around. So we gathered them up, and then decided to joust with them.

Few cuts and bruises, but fun. Ok. Then in our wisdom. We decided to weaponize them. Give them all sorts of metal poles and hunks of wood and stuff to try and beat each others cart into pieces.

I'm lucky to have only got off with a couple of toes broken by a hunk of wood.


It was still fun though.

[7days]

I worked as a substitute teacher a couple of years ago. One week, they put me in charge of an AP physics class. Now the class was pretty much ran itself, withh all the kids doing various self study and projects. So I told them, "Keep doing whatever it is your doing." Apparently this was the chance they had been waiting for. I'm not really that into science so when one of the kids started working on something in the back of the room, I just figured it was the continuation of some project he had been working on. Turns out he was building a 6-foot tall very well insulated Van de Graaff Generator. When he fired it up, he just walked away from it. At the end of class he left without turning it off. Now, at the time, I had no idea what a Van de Graaff Generator did, so I just walked up to it to turn it off. I don't remember much after that.

[Doc ock rokc]

I worked as a substitute teacher a couple of years ago. One week, they put me in charge of an AP physics class. Now the class was pretty much ran itself, withh all the kids doing various self study and projects. So I told them, "Keep doing whatever it is your doing." Apparently this was the chance they had been waiting for. I'm not really that into science so when one of the kids started working on something in the back of the room, I just figured it was the continuation of some project he had been working on. Turns out he was building a 6-foot tall very well insulated Van de Graaff Generator. When he fired it up, he just walked away from it. At the end of class he left without turning it off. Now, at the time, I had no idea what a Van de Graaff Generator did, so I just walked up to it to turn it off. I don't remember much after that.

That was not your fault. the Kid is the one to blame there.

[7days]

My mistake was accepting a sub-job for a class I had no experience in.

[CelesJessa]

In 9th grade, my English teacher told us we could come in after school if we had a question about anything. the one day I decided it would be a good day to come in to ask a question happened to be the day of the Spell-Bowl team's first meet up, so she assumed I wanted to join the spell bowl. I have a bad habit of being a doormat trying to make everyone happy and not saying no, so she gave me the book full of spelling words and I didn't say anything, I just took it and sat down. That semester I was on the spell bowl team. I didn't even get to ask my question.

I worked in a deli/bakery during high school, and I had to work on a Superbowl Sunday. We had a cake out that was all decorated for superbowl and it was in the case with the rest of the pre-made cakes. Someone came and asked for it and I gave it to them. The next day I am informed that I sold them a fake display-only cake. My only saving grace was that I called a manager back to help me find a box big enough for it and he didn't know it was display only either.

[Si Civa]

One of my friends got stipend from a church for her success in school subject which I guess can be called religion teaching. (It's pain in the ass when you don't know proper terms for these)
Anyway, she posted about this in facebook, where she wrote how atheist got stipend from church. I commented this jokingly*: "Maybe it's converting."
*Some may say it's good joke, some will loath it.

Well, about ten days later I got message in my facebook from my old teacher who angrily wrote that what are the actual reasons why my friend got that stipend and it being strange, odd, laughable way to think it being converting.
I kinda guess that was one of the nicest last impressions I've ever done, you know.


Also bars are not my place at all. There's been too much talk about me being gay (the final word is that I'm bi). It's not that bad of course because most of the time we are half-serious about that, but once I was kind of overtalked to wear drag and my own bright idea was to suggest to wear it in bar.
I guess it's thanks to alcohol and people forgetting things because of drinking it that I haven't have to do it actually.
And my curse to remember it because I don't drink. It goes both ways.