Should I stay in college?

[Viridis]

I fucked up my financial aid (TOPS, for anyone in Louisiana or otherwise familiar) and now I feel sort of screwed.

I'm waiting for my paperwork for my other financial aid to go through. Then they send me an award letter which I sign and send back.

-The paperwork (award letter) gets processed before the 11th (BIG maybe. They quoted '4-6 weeks' at me a few days ago.) and we pay $100 (which we pretty much don't have) for a deferment.

OR

-If that does not happen, we have to set up a payment plan (which also might(??) require that same paperwork. We have to pay a chunk of tuition up front. Guessing around $700 (which we definitely would have trouble with). I don't believe we could get this. I'd hate to ask my brother (in the military and already annoyed with helping us pay the occasional bill).

The reason for this is because my GPA got low last semester (just below a 2.5) and I've lost TOPS, which came with an automatic deferment, until I get it back up.

Between this and housing not getting back to us yet about a dorm room, I'm starting to wonder if I should should just drop out and find a job. College is putting us through so much financially and I'm really struggling.

My GPA is crap like this because for the past year, I've had less and less confidence in my ability to learn. The idea got into my head that I have ADHD and damn has this thought fucked with me so bad. I went to Counseling and Testing at the beginning of last semester and well.... they were no help at all.

Still figuring out how to tell my mom this. The 'I think I have ADHD' talk has been held back a while because I had nothing to really bring as 'proof'. What happened with Counseling and Testing really made me hesitant. I always wanted to go back but sort of put it off. The 'I doubt the direction of my life and two years of work and debt has been for nothing' talk can't be much better.

Crap I feel like I've fucked up everything. :(

Dropping out looks really good right now but then I loose TOPS permanently, I think.

[01d55]

There is a huge gulf in the unemployment rates of people with any kind of post-high school accreditation and those without. Best as I can tell that's only going to get worse.

Generally colleges will let you take classes part-time if you can get some kind of part-time employment. That'll help you with tuition and ease your course load.

[Magic_Marker]

Firstly find yourself a job and a place to live, if your 'rents will put you up, then fantastic.

You aren't falling behind because you shouldn't measure your life to others your age. I'm just starting school at 20 and there is nothing wrong about taking time to mature and find your place before heading to college. That said, if you are going into a high paying field, and you know you can pay back student loans, I advise you stay. Every single persons situation is different but from what I'm getting from you, I think you could use a little time off to figure things out.

[POS Industries]

Hey, I dropped out of college.

Long story short, don't fucking drop out of college.

[bluestarultor]

I have to get behind the part-time idea. Some people just can't handle full-time college. I personally did not do well with it and my grades reflected that. If you need full-time, take 12 credits. That's just enough to count, but trust me in that it's a LOT easier than 18.

Also, ADHD is something you would have struggled with all your life. It doesn't just crop up. If you have to, drink caffeine and see if it helps you focus. Stimulants do that for ADHD. Also, I'd go to a professional for diagnosis. It's way too easy to read up on things and think you have them.

If it helps, though, here's a basic test. Be honest about this:
1) Do you just have trouble focusing?
2) Do you focus well on things that interest you?

ADHD isn't just trouble with focus. It's where you can only focus on things you care about or that capture your interest. If you just have trouble focusing, it's more likely you're just brain fried from stress.

[Bells]

Staying in college is not a guarantee of success. Just like dropping out... either way you choose, it's pretty much the same hardships with a variable degree of duration.

Really man, life is bets and choices... the best you can do is make your bets based on the max amount of information you can get, you know?

on that same note, you can't really get a decent outcome out of this either way, if you don't have a decent job at sight that you can build something upon or a decent career to follow trough if you finish college

[rpgdemon]

I'd say stick it out, if you can.

[Nique]

Wondering about having ADD, ADHD, Aspbergers, Depression, whatever used to mess with me too. Until I met a doctor who said 'ok, let's say you have 'X'. So what?' That really struck me. I know some people find comfort in identifying whatever it is they are dealing with, but recognizing that we are just using these terms to identify things that people have been dealing with since forever and still can't really do a whole lot about was sort of relieving.

Obviously severe cases need some kind of treatment and I'm not knocking the benefits of a good doctor and better meds, but it helps me to realize that my character sheet is just balenced differently.

My advice is to not drop out if you can help it at all. If you have to take things slow that's fine. Just don't get stuck and do nothing or whatever disorder you suspect you are dealing with will just turn into depression. 'Doing nothing' includes working a crappy job that isn't going to get you out of your parent's basement.

[DFM]

I dropped out of college because I hated it so much I don't think I can express it in words. Actually, going to college is probably the single greatest regret I have in my short life.

I'm a lot happier now that I'm out of there, so you can take that for what it's worth.

Edit: Basically, if you're anything like me, and from your post it sounds like you are at least a little, you should get the fuck out of there. If you're not like me then I don't know do what these other guys are saying.

[Fifthfiend]

Yeah if you hate college with the wrath of a thousand fiery suns you should drop out of college.

If you're just freaking out over a shit semester, then like, stay in college.

[DFM]

I suppose it really depends if you think it's just a shitty semester you'll bounce back from with some effort/cash or something you're not going to pull out of and ought to cut your losses on, which is what he's debating as far as I can gather.

[bluestarultor]

I suppose it really depends if you think it's just a shitty semester you'll bounce back from with some effort/cash or something you're not going to pull out of and ought to cut your losses on, which is what he's debating as far as I can gather.

Well, to put it this way, not everyone is cut out for college, but it seems that he's just having performance issues that can be fixed.

College is mostly about drive. If you have it, you have it, if you don't, you're either in the wrong field or just don't. If you really feel strongly about what you're doing, nothing in the world is going to stop you in the long run, even if you have some temporary pitfalls. If you know in your heart you're in the wrong place, nothing you tell yourself is going to fix it, even if your brain is fooled.

I speak from experience. Everyone thought I was cut out for pharmacy, and I'd had years to convince myself it was true, but when I actually got there, things didn't work out, because it wasn't. I was smart enough, but I just didn't have the drive. On the other hand, I changed majors to programming based on one class, and if I hadn't convinced myself so strongly I wanted to be a pharmacist, I would have realized how much I wanted to do it from one conversation I had in high school. I can still remember the feeling I had when an acquaintance suggested it. It was like I lit up like a light bulb, but the next words out of my mouth about going for pharmacy snuffed it out. If I'd been smarter, I'd have known why, but I'd had it drilled into me for years by my family, teachers, and self that pharmacy was a good choice for me. When I took my first programming class, the first words out of my mom's mouth when I told her were, "Oh, God, I didn't raise a video game programmer, did I?" I guess she did, but I'll be doing something I love even if I end up in business. That's something I would never, EVER again say about pharmacy. I'm done lying to myself and everyone around me.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Get a job is really the best I can auggest. Yo ucan still swing full-time work and a job if you work nights/weekends. It'll be rough at first but your body will get used to it.
Butas others have said you really just got to decide how you feel. If you really don't want to do it you're not going to be able to do it and you better off dropping out. But if you want to do it, then give it a go.
If you start to consider flunking/doing it parttime- take a look for jobs first, keep the college option open as long as you can because it'd be even worse to drop out then be unable to find a job.

[Specterbane]

Well I can't say I know the intricacies of financial aid, but I think I can offer some help with the idea of dropping out/planning ahead for college. So here's my experience thus far with thing.

I graduated from engineering last year and have only just recently been getting good results from sending out my resume to just about every job I seemed remotely qualified for. This is a tough job market but things are starting to come around. But since no matter what it looks like you'll need a job here are a few things I recommend you do before making a decision:

1) Look into job that only require a high school diploma and see if you can find any you'd like to make a career out of. There are plenty on career builder and monster but they're all pretty hard to get right now with everyone trying to grab something.

2) While you're checking those jobs that only require a high school diploma check out jobs that you'd be applying for if you finished your degree and see if you'd like them or not. If you don't you might think about finding a job you would like and see what kind of requirements it's looking for (don't be intimidated about the "5 years experience" on them, companies are sometimes willing to negotiate that down for)

3) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY for your situation I'd really recommend talking to school advisors and local companies that would hire people from you major to see if you can do any sort of paid internship or co-op and still be counted in school for your scholarships.


College is rough and it's not for everyone, but if you put in the work it's a lot of fun and it pays off. But if you think that it's not for you then look into trade schools that you'd enjoy, it's a great way to get training and certification and they've typically got some great job placements.

No matter what though it's going to be tough for you, just don't give up and keep at it; just wait and see you'll be surprised what you can do for yourself.

[pochercoaster]

I'm going to echo what Nique said and recommend that you don't let a premature diagnosis get in the way. Are you sure this is the only thing hampering your performance, or were there other things going on in your life?

It's very easy for anyone to look at a list of symptoms and think they have X disorder. Everybody has tendencies that deviate from the norm. The question is to what degree? If you did reasonably well in other aspects of your life up until college you probably don't have ADHD. Maybe you just weren't well prepared for college and found it overwhelming- that's completely different.

So, just be honest with yourself. If you think it may be ADHD, go to a real professional to get a diagnosis. If you actually do have ADHD then you should be able to get some help and presumably that will improve your performance in college. If you don't then you'll have to ask yourself what was else was causing you to not do well. It could just be poor study habits or disinterest in your major or a variety of other things. (Sorry if this sounds presumptuous- I'm just throwing out ideas here.)

(Of course, I'm guessing that costs money... I forget that you guys don't have free health care! Regardless, if you really seriously think you have a learning disorder it wouldn't necessarily be a wasted expense.)

Anyways, my advice besides the ADHD issue: take a light course load so you don't lose your financial aid and so you have a chance to get back on track. As Magic Marker said, if your parents are willing to house you, jump for it. Explain to them that you need to take it slow for now in order to do well in your courses, and hopefully they'll understand.

See how your part-time schooling goes before deciding to drop out. College definitely does not guarantee a successful career; however, if you chose a major that you truly are interested in, it's probably worth finishing. You can go through life without a college education, but it closes doors (the trade off being you don't have to pay off student debt.) Even then, a lot of people who are successful without a formal education are in trades or did apprenticeships, so they did -something-.

If you just end up burnt out, confused, and you don't know what to do at all, then spending money on college at the moment will be a waste. You can always return after you've got yourself in order, but it's harder. Not impossible, of course, but harder. If you have a stronger conviction about who you are after some time off you should be confident about how to handle returning to school among some other responsibilities you may have picked up along the way. So, I suggest that for now you put off the question of dropping out and see how you do with a light course load.

I have no idea what your time management skills are like, but try to balance it between school, relaxation, and socializing. If you don't get enough time to unwind it makes it more difficult to learn.

And one more thing: If you do drop out it's not the end of the world. Lots of people return to school when they're older. Lots of people need that time to figure out what they want. You are not required to follow the blueprint teachers and your parents want you to. Just try to make the best of your time whether or not you're in school- that will help you figure out what you want.

If it's any consolation I'm nearly 21 and working a minimum wage job full time. I'm going to return to school once I successfully immigrate to the States to be with my fiancee (my visa is being processed). I am still unsure of what I want to do, but in the past 2 years I've worked a variety of jobs, moved out on my own, taken up some hobbies, learned how to manage my time and feel a LOT more confident about my decisions. When I was in high school I was convinced I was going to college for fine arts, which was the only talent I knew of at the time. Since then I've taken an interest in cooking, working out, and business, so now I'm considering an education in kinesiology or hospitality. I know that I can try courses to probe my serious interest in them and I know that if I chose not to finish one thing it's not a death sentence. Moreover, I know that what I follow through with will be worth it.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Oh yeah about the ADHD thing- the very first thing they teach you in clinical psych is to never diagnose yourself.
Secondly- the symptoms are quite broad, hard to define and have some interpretation. Reading through the list of symptoms in say the IDSM you couldgive yourself near any disease- really if this concerns you go to a professional.

[Cati]

Every person's situation is different, but in general, I would say your best bet is to stay. However -- it doesn't mean things should stay as they are!

1. You could always skip out for a semester if things are too tough. The problem with this is that tuition tends to increase each year, but if you can do it, it would definitely give you a chance to sit back and think about what you really want to do!

2. Whether or not you have ADHD is something we can't really say, obviously, and I don't know what happened with Counseling and Testing, but if you think you need help, don't put it off! It only gets harder if you do. And... I don't know if it makes sense, but don't let the thought of having ADHD freak you out, okay? Let's say you do have it. If someone comes along and confirms this, this doesn't change anything about you, it just means you have a word for it. Or are you worried about the treatment? I don't have ADHD, but if it's the usual counseling, yay pills -- it's not bad, really. And you don't have to do anything you don't want to do!

In addition -- you don't need "proof" to get help -- although something that might be better than saying "Hey, I have ADHD" might be just to go to say some psychiatrist-y person, tell them your problems, maybe mention you were wondering about ADHD, then let them come to their own conclusions. It could always be something completely different from what you are suspecting! I was really amused when I went to a psychiatrist after a couple years and he was all "you're bipolar" and I was like "where'd that come from?" But the meds work when nothing else ever did, so who am I to complain?

3. Do you like your major? You might be better off switching, if that's part of the problem. For example, I LOVE my major. I actually enjoy going to my classes which would be a shock if you knew me, haha. However, because I'm crazy, I decided I wanted to double-major -- in something I soon discovered that I hated. Part of this second major involved political science courses, and I never knew I could hate something so much. I thought I was capable of at least something mildly interesting in anything, but poly-sci... I'd go to class, sit through it, and then leave, realizing I had no idea what happened in the hour I was there. When I could make myself focus, I never had any idea what we were talking about or why I should care. It was bad... Then I dropped those classes and the second major and dear God, sanity returned.

4. Get a part-time job. For serious. I know it doesn't sound like it makes sense -- having trouble in school, get a job so you have LESS time to focus on classes -- but it really does seem to help, at least it did for me! I think it's a bit of getting out of campus life and the whole crap-I'm-in-college mindset, doing something for yourself (working for moneys) when classes and homework are feeling incredibly oppressing. And it always made me feel more productive, haha.

5. I don't know what it's like at your college or in your area, but if it's anything like mine... Dorms are expensive! For example, at mine -- the dorm itself is sort of reasonablish on paper -- until you realize you are REQUIRED to get a meal plan which is several thousand more dollars than it needs to be. This year I'm going to be living in a house with three other people, with two kitchens and three bathrooms and my own room and parking space which is all so much better than a dorm -- and even considering I'm paying for a whole year as opposed to nine months at a dorm, I'm saving at least four thousand dollars. Which is awesome. Look into apartments -- especially if you are willing to live with someone else, the money you save is amazing!

6. If worse comes to worse -- try a different college. Out of nowhere, my sister randomly decided to transfer to a different college on the other end of the state -- I honestly don't know her reasons, but I know she was no longer happy at her previous one; she loved the one she transferred to! Heck, if you want, you could do the same college, different campus (if yours has multiple campuses). I'm personally a fan of web courses.

[CABAL49]

If you really feel like you have to drop out, at least try to go to a tech school. The credits may not always transfer, but it is a lot harder to get back into school than it is to get out.

[McTahr]

If you really feel like you have to drop out, at least try to go to a tech school. The credits may not always transfer, but it is a lot harder to get back into school than it is to get out.

No. Most tech schools auto-pass people, lack real accreditation, and are just as expensive. (And employers scoff at their degrees even more so than CC.)

Community colleges are considered "bad", but at least they tend to have accreditation and are financially feasible.

[Magic_Marker]

If OP wants to save monies and hasn't completed his basics. He might want to finish those credits up at a CC and then move his major into a state school.

[McTahr]

That's what I'd recommend. The transition to college is too sudden for some people these days, and if you actually try in a community college, and keep up on your homework and reading, it's a good self-disciplinary lesson to get you ready to pull the weight of a B+ student.

[Seil]

Dude, here's what I'm doing:

My parents are putting up with me while I work to earn tuition. I can't think of a better arrangement. I don't have to pay rent, and they're not charging me for food or utilities, so I can spend all my time on work so that I can be stress free at the beginning of next September.

Ask your parents about it. If they say sure, then great! If not, then I would talk to an advisor at school and talk about picking up the course at a later date, after you've padded your pockets as a waiter, or a clerk, or a drug dealer or something.

[CABAL49]

No. Most tech schools auto-pass people, lack real accreditation, and are just as expensive. (And employers scoff at their degrees even more so than CC.)

Community colleges are considered "bad", but at least they tend to have accreditation and are financially feasible.

Community college is what I meant. They kinda overlap here. For example, I took my AP classes at Forsyth Tech Community College.

[bluestarultor]

Actually, the Wisconsin Technical College system has agreements with the University of Wisconsin system for credit transfer. I can honestly say that having gone through the Tech system to get my AAS, it's not as bad as McTahr indicates, or at least NTC isn't. All but one of the teachers in the IT program are totally great, really knowledgeable, have tons of experience in the profession and maintain ties inside it. The last one is all but one of the above, because she was hired to teach COBOL and they later pulled it from the curriculum and told her to just grab something else, so she ended up doing Visual Basic and C# the first year I went, neither of which she'd dealt with before. Now they've got her on just VB, and I'm sure she's gotten comfortable with it, because she's teaching everything from beginner to advanced courses.

Mind you, credit transfer is not universal. There are individual agreements with individual colleges. But I came out of the program well-versed and they just updated the curriculum again to keep up with the changing technology.

[Azisien]

If you only had one bad teacher in an entire college then dear god that's already better than every university I've ever seen, maybe everyone should just go to college only. Seriously, my university was like a 50/50 split on whether the prof could run a decent class or not.

Maybe that's now biased by my training in education as a field itself, I don't mean half of all profs were tripping over themselves or struggling with the subject matter, but just that they weren't good at teaching as an art/science, despite being good in their areas.

[BrandonXRoss]

What you're describing sounds a lot like some of the things I've thought while going to college off-and-on. To make matters worse the longer I "stuck it out" the worse my grades got, and the harder it was to focus on subjects that I even found interesting.
After failing almost all my classes one semester (4 F's and a W) I decided that I couldn't risk having a semester that bad again. Not only would it be hard to explain on my academic record, but it would just diminish my self-confidence even further, which would just make the problem worse.

Try to figure out if there's a good chance you will fail a course next semester. Try not to let the expectations of others effect this. If you think you will, then my suggestion would be to temporarily drop out -- a strategic retreat, basically. Take time off to identify what's holding you back, whether it's ADHD or something else, and spend time working on improving on that instead.

My suggestion would be to get a job and spend the money on a counselor. Don't spend extra on a psychiatrist unless the counselor strongly recommends it, or you have health insurance to cover it. A general physician can also prescribe medication, if you want it, and if they agree with your counselor's assessment.

When you feel ready again, go back part-time and pay attention to your stress levels. Some amount of stress can be healthy, but if it goes from feeling challenging to feeling hopeless, then you need to cut back.
Also, consider that even if you ultimately never work your way up to full-time: Is the money saved from the extra financial aid that you get for being full-time really worth the effect on your academic record?

Anyway, that's my two cents... :)