CONAN!

[Fifthfiend]

WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?!

[Kyanbu The Legend]

WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE! IS TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES! AND SEE THEM TREMBLE BEFORE YOU!!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I'm sorry. Would you please rephrase the question?

[Conan The Barbarian]

Your posters are fools.

What is best in life is..

TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THEIR WOMEN!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO!

[Conan The Barbarian]

My father was Cimmerian born, and the blacksmith of my village.

Though I know not why it interests one such as yourself.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

You know when I said I'd kill you last? I lied!

[Kim]

You don't know it, but you're already dead.

[greed]

So you're saying we should all go out and watch the all time holiday classic runaway smash hit JINGLE ALL THE WAY!

[Fifthfiend]

Mods, requesting poll:

- To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women
- The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your breast, and the wind in your hair
- Kitty snuggles

[greed]

Also Jingle All the Way.


Edit: Damnit.

[Shin Amakiir]

Kitties! Barbarian kitties! :D

[EVILNess]

Kitties! Barbarian kitties! :D

Your post made me ask myself when was the last time I read a Redwall novel?

[Wigmund]

Sorry, Kitties beat out slaughtering everyone. But I like to bring mine along when I go out to slaughter people (http://users.wolfcrews.com/toys/vikings/).

[TopHatAssassin]

Where is the wizard who killed your mother?

[Aldurin]

The best in life is not endless slaughter and violence, it's possessing the ability to slaughter everyone if you wanted to, letting them know about it and then not doing anything while watching them flip the fuck out trying to determine the time of their doom.

Ya, that's what would happen if I had super powers. Although the Soviets and Americans did this to each other without supernatural influence.

[Kurosen]

I was prepared for this thread to be about the talk show host and then chastise you chumps for worshiping the wrong idol.

I mean, I love Consy, but he's not the Conan who faked being dead while crucified to lure a vulture down to him, and then bit into its neck hard enough to kill it instantly so he could drink its blood and survive still being crucified for one more day out of pure spite.

Carry on.

[krogothwolf]

Where is the wizard who killed your mother?

He's on a Space Station defending it from Rebels

[Revising Ocelot]

Terran Thor denies all 3 options.

"What is best; to crush the zerg, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the Protoss."

[Shyria Dracnoir]

To rage against the armies of man and crush their lines underfoot
To turn their capitals to wastelands and their herds and fields to ash
To set the rivers and streams running red with blood
To leave no trace or memory of what used to be, save for a dying breath echoing to an indifferent sky
And most importantly, looking damn fine when doing it
DRACONES UBER ALLES

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Voted for kitty snuggles, because the other two options are horribly outdated, but a good snuggle never gets old.

[Archbio]

He's on a Space Station defending it from Rebels

He's in his royal suite at the Waldorf-Astoria dealing with his other, other son.

[Ryanderman]

Hot water, good dentistry, and soft lavatory paper!

[Funka Genocide]

WRONG! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V30tyaXv6EI)

[Magus]

I thought Thulsa Doom proved that what is best in life is THE POWER OF FLESH.

Don't tell Conan though, he'll come in here posting all Teutonically "YOU KILL MY MOTHA! YOU KILL MY FATHA! YOU STEAL MY FATHA'S SWORD!"

[Wigmund]

I thought Thulsa Doom proved that what is best in life is TURNING INTO SNAKES

Fix'd

[Grimpond]

Hot water, good dentishtry, and shoft lavatory paper!

ftfy!

[Darth SS]

Who chose the second option?

No, seriously.

Kittens or Conan. Pick a side. Right meow. There is no middle ground.

[Fifthfiend]

Why you gotta hate the open steppe, Darth?

Why you gotta hate like that?

[Fifthfiend]

I mean i'm just sayin' come on, why can't the steppe get any love?

Why can't fleet horses and the wind in your hair and falcons at your breast get any love?

I mean okay I don't know, maybe those aren't the best things. But c'mon, those are pretty good things! Maybe there's some folks out there, that is their best thing! I don't think I'd call that like, unreasonable as a statement of personal preference.

[POS Industries]

Naw dude, we used science. With labcoats and beakers and shit.

Kitties and crushing and driving enemies while their women lament audibly are way above some breezy steppe any day of the week.

[Arhra]

Why can't we crush our enemies, drive them before us and listen to the lamentations of their women while cuddling a kitten?

I JUST WANT TO MULTI-TASK.

[Archbio]

Falcon trumps kitten.

Fact.

[Ravashak]

I have to agree with Grimpond's change, unless someone has some spare troll teeth...

[Wigmund]

Why can't fleet horses and the wind in your hair and falcons at your breast get any love?

Horses are evil, the wind is full of sand and the falcons bite my nipples too hard.

[krogothwolf]

the falcons bite my nipples too hard.

How is that not love for you?

[Wigmund]

I know they mean well, but those sharp beaks are just not kinky.

[Funka Genocide]

Guys I think he said "wrist."

Falcons at your wrist, which I mean... makes a hell of a lot more sense.

It still sucks, but it makes sense.

I suggest a compromise candidate.

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the kitties."

[Premmy]

There is nothing good about Kitties lamenting, the fuck's wrong with you?

[Funka Genocide]

Well I'm sure its just a bunch of meow noises anyways. Whatever. At least it doesn't imply rape.

or does it?

[Darth SS]

Well I'm sure its just a bunch of meow noises anyways. Whatever. At least it doesn't imply rape.

or does it?

By the way, never have sex with a house cat. They have barbed penises which destroy your orifices on the way out.

[TopHatAssassin]

You know, if you crush your enemies and drive them before you, you can totally snag their kittens and commence snuggling, if you're into that.

Everybody wins!

[PyrosNine]

Of course it's crush them before you, see them driven to lamentations, and hear the enemies of their women.*

Kitty snuggling is a sacred, sophisticated, bonding ritual that while perfectly normals, is sick and wrong when humans get involved.

I mean, first it's all warm and fuzzy, but then there's this ginormous face with non-glow in the dark eyes and a giant mouth and it's shoving it's nose into face and you can taste the failure dripping from their pores.

I believe kitty snuggling is a sacred tradition, shared between two kittys!


*You could also snuggle with the falcon on the steppes, I hear they're cool with that. The fleet of horses and the wind might get jealous though.

[Flarecobra]

Thus more people should kitty snuggle. If anything, to spite Pyros.

[bluestarultor]

By the way, never have sex with a house cat. They have barbed penises which destroy your orifices on the way out.

That's implying that the (mostly male) user base is down with gay sex in the first place.

I mean I know there's a couple, but still.

[Magus]

I mean i'm just sayin' come on, why can't the steppe get any love?

Why can't fleet horses and the wind in your hair and falcons at your breast get any love?

I mean okay I don't know, maybe those aren't the best things. But c'mon, those are pretty good things! Maybe there's some folks out there, that is their best thing! I don't think I'd call that like, unreasonable as a statement of personal preference.

General Khitan: WRONG!

That's implying that the (mostly male) user base is down with gay sex in the first place.

I mean I know there's a couple, but still.

I thought it was implying that our mostly gay user base was down with kitten sex.

Not so much an implication as a fact! Hell, I'm straight, but all this orifice tearing from getting raped by a tiger...this is sounding kind of hot. Now I know how Siegfried and Roy feel. Finally.

[bluestarultor]

General Khitan: WRONG!



I thought it was implying that our mostly gay user base was down with kitten sex.

Not so much an implication as a fact! Hell, I'm straight, but all this orifice tearing from getting raped by a tiger...this is sounding kind of hot. Now I know how Siegfried and Roy feel. Finally.

When did tigers get involved? We were talking about housecats. Although I guess the size difference would be less.

[Funka Genocide]

Ok so like, when I italicized that statement... not where I was thinking things would go.

I'll admit I didn't really think about at all where it would go, but if I had I'm sure the place I imagined would be free of tiger dick.

Just sayin'.

[Hanuman]

http://harmonyhaven.org/Im000257.jpg

[Amake]

http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv324/immortalpictures/bestinlife.jpg

[bluestarultor]

Ok so like, when I italicized that statement... not where I was thinking things would go.

I'll admit I didn't really think about at all where it would go, but if I had I'm sure the place I imagined would be free of tiger dick.

Just sayin'.

Well, not everyone can like tigers. For the record, what would you otherwise prefer? I'm learning more about the world every day! :knowledge:

http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv324/immortalpictures/bestinlife.jpg

Don't encourage us. XD

Edit: That kind of thing would make a great PS3 Move commercial, though. Also, kudos. I thought it was real at first.

[Amake]

Edit: That kind of thing would make a great PS3 Move commercial, though. Also, kudos. I thought it was real at first. I'm assuming this is directed at my post so thanks, but how do you mean "real"? Some professional production? A photo manipulation? I'm flattered and confused.

[bluestarultor]

I'm assuming this is directed at my post so thanks, but how do you mean "real"? Some professional production? A photo manipulation? I'm flattered and confused.

Real as in someone got a copter and a bunch of people with glow sticks. ;)

[Amake]

Aah I can see that. Man, that'd have been cool.

[Fifthfiend]

General Khitan: WRONG!


Don't be like that, Mags.

Open your heart.

Open your heart to the falcons, and the horses.

Open your heart to the steppe.

[BitVyper]

What if you don't have enemies?

[Premmy]

You know you do, I don't even know why you'd ask.

[BitVyper]

I have yet to meet anyone worthy of being my enemy.

[Funka Genocide]

I have yet to meet anyone worthy of being my enemy.

Being someone's enemy is a lot like being in love, you don't need to requite the emotion.

Just because you don't consider someone an enemy doesn't mean they won't storm into your place of employment after being fired for gross incompetence and start blasting.

[Fifthfiend]

Inasmuch as we're talking about people which you are driving before you and causing their women to lament, you probably have to hold some level of active animosity towards them.

But honestly if you can't find someone you want to crush and drive before you, you probably just like, aren't keeping it real.

[Magus]

Anybody ever drive their enemies before them and cock their ear in expectation of hearing some sweet lamentations but then all you hear is laughter from the women because your fly was down as you charged in crushing your foes left and right?

It's seriously embarassing.

[TopHatAssassin]

Anybody ever drive their enemies before them and cock their ear in expectation of hearing some sweet lamentations but then all you hear is laughter from the women because your fly was down as you charged in crushing your foes left and right?

It's seriously embarassing.

Well, if you aren't swinging both of your barbarian swords, of course they'll be laughing.

[Krylo]

Well, if you aren't swinging both of your barbarian swords, of course they'll be laughing.

Yeah, that's why I had to make my female barbarian on Age of Conan a dual wielder.