Theory about Glenn Beck [Archive] - The Warring States of NPF

Pip Boy

10-24-2010, 02:07 PM

I have a theory about Glenn Beck lately. First, there are a few things we need to consider. 1) He uses eye-drops to help him cry when he wants to appear emotional talking about something. 2) He makes ridiculous claims about democrats with little or no evidence and people take his word for it. 3) He frequently makes logically flawed statements and acts as though they're somehow self-explanatory. 4) He frequently uses graphs that don't make sense, but are taken by his audience at face value.

I'm starting to think that Glenn Beck may not be republican at all. I think he might just be the world's greatest troll. I keep thinking "no, that can't be it, he's just retarded", but I cannot find any rational explanation for how a person could be this incredibly stupid and paranoid and crazy and still be functional enough to have an opinion anyone cares about.

Osterbaum

10-24-2010, 02:16 PM

Not to defend Glen Beck or anything, but out of the conservative talk show/radio show etc. hosts he's actually not among the most retarded.

Archbio

10-24-2010, 02:17 PM

I keep thinking "no, that can't be it, he's just retarded", but I cannot find any rational explanation for how a person could be this incredibly stupid and paranoid and crazy and still be functional enough to have an opinion anyone cares about.

Because it pays surprisingly well.

bluestarultor

10-24-2010, 02:32 PM

Not to defend Glen Beck or anything, but out of the conservative talk show/radio show etc. hosts he's actually not among the most retarded.

This frankly scares me. If he's one of the sane ones, that means that there are absolute fucking lunatics out there. They probably fire live guns in their studios.

Professor Smarmiarty

10-24-2010, 02:40 PM

Using my knowledge of Youtube conspiracy theories I have concluded that Glenn Beck is an alien timetraveller.

Lost in Time

10-24-2010, 02:47 PM

Yes, but then that begs the question: From the past... or the future?!?!

Professor Smarmiarty

10-24-2010, 02:59 PM

I don't think he knows anymore. He hit his head along the way and has amnesia. His craving ramblings come from psychosis as dreams of his original time drive him slowly insane.

Fifthfiend

10-24-2010, 03:14 PM

Pip Boy

10-24-2010, 03:15 PM

Well, the idea behind trolling is that you're doing it just for the sake of trolling. If you piss people off by saying something you mean, then you're just dumb.

Fifthfiend

10-24-2010, 04:39 PM

Well, the idea behind trolling is that you're doing it just for the sake of trolling. If you piss people off by saying something you mean, then you're just dumb.

And Republicans are pretty much Saying Shit We Don't Mean: The Political Party.

Glenn Beck isn't a troll, he's the political version of pro wrestling. Everyone knows it's a load of shit but they convince themselves it isn't for the sheer stupid thrill of the idiotic narrative, except that unlike wrestling fans they love it so much that they don't give a fuck about the actual real-world consequences of their gleeful stupidity. Just like Sarah Palin fans, and the tea parties, and global warming denialists, and the creationists, and the War on Terror, and everyone else up and down the line who invests themselves in self-evidently stupid narratives in violent opposition to any statement of facts or evidence, because facts and evidence are for liberal pussies, hEh.

Mondt

10-25-2010, 03:34 AM

Alright, I think fifth's got my dick

who should I get?

Edit: Looks like I get bob's dick.

LET THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN

Bob The Mercenary

10-25-2010, 05:44 PM

This frankly scares me. If he's one of the sane ones, that means that there are absolute fucking lunatics out there. They probably fire live guns in their studios.

*cough*Michael Savage*cough*

Archbio

10-25-2010, 09:49 PM

When Glenn Beck compares himself to Martin Luther King Jr, it's only a little bit grotesque.

Happy now, Mondt?

Thadius

10-25-2010, 10:59 PM

This assumes that the Republican Party itself is not mass-scale organized trolling.

...Or that trolling isn't entirely compatible with being incredibly dumb.

...*Takes off gentlemanly gloves*

Personally I find the whole process of our government to be fundamentally FLAWED. We, the people of the United States of America, have been HAD. There should have been term limits on ALL portions of our government. Now of course the whole thing is a clusterfuck of epic proportions. You've got a clusterfuck of old guys/gals who have power and money and do NOT CARE what they have to do to keep it. You've got a clusterfuck of young guys/gals who, when trying to get anything DONE, don't have the clout to do it. You've got a clusterfuck of lobbyists who are looking for politicians to buy off so they can continue their possibly illegal shenanigans. Hell, maybe they just want a politician in their pocket, because lord knows all the other lobbyists have one!

The whole thing is one god-damned clusterfuck of epic proportions. We've gone past trolling. This is a black hole of ineptitude on both parts along with an F-bomb of hatred and suck.

The only thing that differentiates me from an optimist is an optimist would look at this and go, "Well yeah, but it can still be fixed!"

I personally want to burn the whole fucking thing down and start over again.

Nique

10-25-2010, 11:28 PM

I'm not sure how I feel about how the internet's shameless adoption of pure sarcasm as a modus operandi has led to us interpreting ridiculous television programs as elaborate pranks by their hosts rather than harmful purveyors of non-advice (that one�s for you, fifth) and misinformation.

tl;dr - Glenn Beck isn't a troll. Probably...

bluestarultor

10-25-2010, 11:41 PM

Trolling indicates you're trying to get a rise out of people, which, admittedly, Beck is very good at. On the other hand, trolling is a generally destructive process wherein the aim is to cause people to lash out for your own satisfaction without concern for your own popularity. Beck isn't doing that. He's pandering to a willing audience.

Beck is doing the opposite of trolling. He's catering to a very specific market. I'd hazard that he's not at all stupid or else he'd never have gotten into his position in the first place. No, he's carefully crafted his image and is continuing to evolve it as the times change. He's gone from Republican talking head to Tea Party talking head because that's where he knows he has a built-in audience.

The man doesn't have to make sense or have valid opinions or even for a second believe a word that comes out of his own mouth. He just has to say the right things to stir up the people he knows are already listening. Just like Colbert has built an audience with liberals by parodying conservatives in an obvious manner, Beck has built an audience by saying enough of the right things to rally everyone who has any reason to dislike the current government and liberals specifically, whether they're anti-socialism, pro-gun, racist, or simply frustrated that Obama himself has not fluttered down on a pair of angel wings and led them to the Promised Land.

walkertexasdruid

10-26-2010, 04:37 PM

I wish SNL would do more scenes of Jason Sudakis as Glen Beck, those scenes are hilarious.

Jagos

10-26-2010, 04:45 PM

This assumes that the Republican Party itself is not mass-scale organized trolling.

...Or that trolling isn't entirely compatible with being incredibly dumb.

No, they're not incredibly dumb.

They got enough money to buy four small countries.

They're stupid with money backing them.

Magus

10-26-2010, 04:52 PM

I hear pander get tossed around a lot, not sure what it means exactly (as it's incredibly subjective whether you are pandering or not) but does Glenn pander to conservatives? Is this a word we can use for what he does?

Nique

10-26-2010, 06:26 PM

Pandering? Yeah I'd say that's accurate. He circlejerks anyone who would already agree with him by constantly reaffirming their views, right or wrong, and also actively compliments them on his program. He derides anyone who disagrees with him.

Glenn Beck might argue that liberal pundits do the same. I don't really know. I don't feel like, for example, The Daily Show panders to anyone simply because they don't go our of their way to make anyone feel good about themselves. But I would say that pandering is, objectivly, what Fox News does.

Mondt

10-30-2010, 07:28 PM

When Glenn Beck compares himself to Martin Luther King Jr, it's only a little bit grotesque.

Happy now, Mondt?Nope.

"Glenn Beck is either a guy I disagree with because he's stupid or a guy I disagree with because he says things to get people to outrage purposefully. I should post this in a place with people who will probably share my opinion so that I can validate my opinion."

And the scary thing is, people responded.

Fifthfiend

10-30-2010, 07:51 PM

Nope.

"Glenn Beck is either a guy I disagree with because he's stupid or a guy I disagree with because he says things to get people to outrage purposefully. I should post this in a place with people who will probably share my opinion so that I can validate my opinion."

And the scary thing is, people responded.

Hahaha, tremendous.

Nuklear Power Forums: Bravely battling the scourge of people posting things, others agreeing

Kim

10-30-2010, 08:13 PM

Archbio

10-30-2010, 08:38 PM

And the scary thing is, people responded.

Oh, yeah, that is downright terrifying.

The NPF Halloween Special: People Agree On Having Generally Negative (but varied) Opinions on Glenn Beck.

I am terrified!

Fifthfiend

10-30-2010, 08:41 PM

This is even scarier than the time Fenris sewed Meister's head onto Shiney's body!

Wait, wrong halloween special.

Kim

10-30-2010, 08:44 PM

walkertexasdruid

10-30-2010, 09:46 PM

Be prepared to be terrified! I also think that Glen Beck is pretty nutty! Though I do not hate him, I just like laughing at him! Pretty scary, huh? ;)

Kim

10-30-2010, 10:01 PM

I think the only decent thing I've ever heard Glenn Beck say was during a single interview where he said he didn't think getting pissed about gay marriage was very productive since it didn't hurt anyone. I think he later contradicted himself, but like that's anything new for Beck.

Mondt

10-30-2010, 10:27 PM

Uh-oh guys! We're "circlejerking" about how ridiculous that post is now! OH NO!

Right now, I'm actually waiting for Mondt to clarify hir posts, in the hopes that it just comes off sillier than it is intended to be.I dunno, maybe its not on NPF but "GLENN BECK: REPUB OR MASTER TROLLIFIER" is a pretty old joke. Based on the fact that NPF is largely anti-stupid, no one here will really say anything other than "Glenn Beck is a crazy mother fucker" which, you k now, its cool. It's general discussion. It's just pointless negativity.

I like to be negative as little as possible if I have the choice and I like to promote others to do the same. My posts earlier were in bad taste. I'm just tired of circlejerk *everywhere I go* on the internet. If it's not circlejerk, then its non-constructive "debate" regarding each others' mothers and their whorey tendencies.

Time to go to hackernews? I hear its cool there. I dunno.

Edit: The "scary" thing was mostly talking about how, this thread having no real purpose beyond sucking each others' dicks, sort of half-tried to turn into real discussion/posted real responses. It's hardly worth it.

TL;DR I'm bitter and grew out of NPF i guess?

Edit2: I'm not wearing pants.

Edit3: Wait, does this mean I can put like a really bright, immature picture in my signature, make my avatar something silly, and start spewing vitriol at people a la old DFM, Fifthfiend, Krylo, etc.? Like, am I there?!

Edit4: Oh, and POS! He did/does that sometimes too.

YOU MAY WONDER WHY I HAVE FOUR EDITS

It's because my plans for tonight were shot.

I've run out of other internets to look at.

Magus

10-30-2010, 11:21 PM

I think people coming to NPF to have their opinions validated are misguided, we hardly ever agree. I think it is just coincidence we are agreeing Glenn Beck is stupid.

It is not that circlejerking happens in every thread, Mondt. It just happens in every thread about Glenn Beck. Even the conservative members on here don't like the guy.

In any case, to honor Beck, I will now quote a libertarian.

Whoever prefers life to death, happiness to suffering, well-being to misery must defend, without compromise, private ownership in the means of production. � Ludwig von Mises (1920)

Mondt

10-30-2010, 11:33 PM

It is not that circlejerking happens in every thread, Mondt. It just happens in every thread about Glenn Beck. Even the conservative members on here don't like the guy.This was my point.

Also, the IS MY HUSBAND GAY thread.

And almost anything in Gen by Seil.

And pretty much anywhere on the internet, FIVE PEOPLE RAPED AND MURDERED BY PSYCHOPATHS kind of shit is a huge circlejerk of "omg what is the world coming to". Newflash: mentally ill people think differently than you, obviously. Hence the serial rape and murder.

I mean, I'm not trying to say that NPF is just one big festival of dickery, just that a lot of it is. Most places are.

Another example (http://nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=39008) of herp derp circlejerp. Throw Twilight in the title, receive lulz, rite? WHAT IS IT WITH GRIT THESE DAYS its not like I made that complaint five years ago!

Any time anyone has an opinion like, say, Chrono Cross was a decent game, they have to disclaim OMG GUYS I KNOW YOU WILL ALL HATE ME FOR THIS and then the CC brigade rolls in to protect him from the arrows of LULZ IT WAS BAD okay this is an outdated example because that whole phase is pretty much years over but that kind of shit is just stupid.

Overall though, I'm just happy the fifthfiend dicksucking phase ended. All it took was a ban and a completely retooled internet personality!

Magus

10-30-2010, 11:41 PM

But...but...Chrono Cross is horrible! You're not making any sense now!

Alright, you are saying the discussion is stale, then? We just mindlessly repeat the same opinions over and over on similar topics? We should strive to only post revolutionary topics to foment actual discussion instead of the same old "DADT is bad, Glenn Beck sucks, what is with these taxes" topics?

EDIT: BTW when did Fifthfiend retool his internet personality, he seems the same to me, personally. More than ever, in point of fact fact.

Mondt

10-30-2010, 11:45 PM

Naw.

I'm just having a bad night.

Also, about fifthfiend, he used to be way worse! Like, flaming people and shit, everyone was just like HAHAHA FIFTHFIEND IS SO FUNNY and it was totally okay cause it was just fifth right. He's definitely toned down now.

On that note, someone fucking took down the Yacc Crop Imp archive. I want it back.

Edit; I'm not going to say omg npf is stale and boring.

Just the popular stuff.

Karrrrrrrrrrrresche

10-30-2010, 11:59 PM

Am I the only one seriously wondering whether NonCon and Fifth got married at some point and forgot to mention it to us?

Seriously. The frequency with which they post right after one another to agree with their life partner is starting to weird me out.

Magus

10-31-2010, 12:00 AM

Thank you for conjuring up nightmares out of my darkest dreams.

Archbio

10-31-2010, 12:19 AM

Edit: The "scary" thing was mostly talking about how, this thread having no real purpose beyond sucking each others' dicks, sort of half-tried to turn into real discussion/posted real responses. It's hardly worth it.

This thread becoming a semi-discussion about something other than penises and bile was a real peril there, you're right.

Quick, someone disagree with me on this!

Magus

10-31-2010, 12:24 AM

"No John. You are the Glenn Beck."

I see Mondt's point, which is that we should not circlejerk each other like Glenn Beck circlejerks his fans. But Mondt may be misinterpreting mere agreement on a few particular topics for widespread circlejerking. However Mondt has also said it is just on the popular topics, and I too have to say there have been a lot of topics about Glenn Beck, Fred Phelps, Rush Limbaugh, etc. recently.

Perhaps it is time to start picking on someone new. I hear Pat Robertson is still alive, has he said any shit lately?

Also if we are going to start inserting more sexual acts as analogies for our discussions I think we need to somehow include 69ing. I'm just throwing this out there.

Fifthfiend

10-31-2010, 12:46 AM

Hey Mondt!

Stop posting.

EDIT:

I see Mondt's point, which is that we should not circlejerk each other like Glenn Beck circlejerks his fans.

No, his point is that he's yet another asshole with some incredibly fucking creepy involved opinion about me.

After his last few posts it makes a whole lot more sense that he started off in this thread fantasizing about me grabbing his dick.

2X EDIT COMBO: This shit is seriously a "really guys, sociopathy is just misunderstood!" away from fullblown Tydeus.

Mondt

10-31-2010, 01:11 AM

Well, fifth, I'm sorry I have an opinion about your character after you..., let's make a list.

1. Become very popular in NPF. You're funny! Everyone likes you.
2. RaiRO. You know what happened.
3. Modship! Hurr durr.
4. Unmodship!
5. Banning!

Lot's of things happen. They cause reactions among other people. People form opinions. Others care, others don't.

I mean, I guess I could send you a picture of my dick if you want. It won't be CP, so it's not quite the same.

Fifthfiend

10-31-2010, 01:18 AM

That's super, the next time you feel the need to sperg out about whatever it is about me is making you sperg out go post your own thread about it or something instead of derailing some other goddamn thread that somebody wanted to talk about to stage the most passive-aggressive goddamn calling-out ever.

Mondt

10-31-2010, 01:21 AM

My mind must be playing tricks on me.

Are you telling me I'm blaming you for my opinions on the forum?

Fifthfiend

10-31-2010, 01:24 AM

Oh hey here's another idea the next time you're crapping your pants about how threads on this webforum are failing to live up to your serious-ass standards for webforum threads why don't you post one of these excellent threads you think we're supposed to be having and show us all how thread-posting is done, instead of whining about how terrible it is that people want to talk about Superman comics on this nerdy as fuck webforum.

No charge for that one Brohenheim, it's on me.

Mondt

10-31-2010, 01:25 AM

A simple "No" would have sufficed.

But that works too. :D

On a more serious note:

I'm sorry I derailed your thread. I hate to break it to you, but it wasn't going to be much of a topic anyway. You're right! I do go to other places. They suck too. Mostly. You'll notice that in the past year my participation on NPF has been limited, to say the least. Definitely a lot less than it had been. Like I said, it's been kind of a shitty night for me. No excuse! I agree. Alas, it doesn't really matter. Most of what I said applies to pretty much any sort of internet community that I've visited, NPF just was the one with a Glenn Beck thread up.

P.S. I recommend a punching bag. It'll give you a work out and help you out with all that aggression.

Just remember to work out how to punch it first. You can do some damage to your wrists if you fuck it up.

EDIT TO THE MAXIMUM: You know, I just actually closely read your last post. I don't make threads because I'm not really an idea guy. Never have been. Usually I'm pretty good at adding to ideas or morphing things into something better/more interesting. Like, I can't come up with a decent guitar riff to save my life! But if I heard something I could be like well what if you did this and that there and there? Suddenly its cooler!

Archbio

10-31-2010, 01:46 AM

Also if we are going to start inserting more sexual acts as analogies for our discussions I think we need to somehow include 69ing. I'm just throwing this out there.

As long as the analogies involving sex acts aren't pejorative by default.

But I suppose that's off-topic, as this is now a thread about Mondt and about what things Mondt feels negatively about. Which may or may not include negativity. I'm getting mixed signals here.

Mondt

10-31-2010, 01:47 AM

Oh, sorry, I'll make a new topic if you want.

I am pretty self-important.

Kim

10-31-2010, 02:02 AM

What the fuck is this shit?

No. Seriously. What the fuck is this shit?

I went away to watch Cowboy Bebop, and I come back to this? I mean, I've re-read a couple of these posts several times and I'm really just bwuhing the fuck out.

There are so many things I could say, but I really don't know what I should. The "circlejerking" claims are just pretentious horseshit. I don't know any other way to read that then "People are agreeing in a thread I don't like so fuck them." Fuck, even when the majority disagree with me I don't think I'd ever accuse them of circlejerking. It just makes no fucking sense.

The "OMG TWILIGHT" thread of supposed circlejerking more or less dropped the whole Twilight thing after the first post, and not only do you get posts about how this isn't necessarily "GRIM AND DARK" meaning no circlejerking from that angle either, but you get jokes about how he looks like the protagonist from Prototype, which isn't really anything at all.

The last time Chrono Cross was brought up, only two people really talked about it, it was a fairly reasonable back and forth, and the only person who even approached jackassery was a third person defending it.

So, I return to my previous question, Mondt. What the fuck is this shit?

Fifthfiend

10-31-2010, 02:58 AM

There are so many things I could say, but I really don't know what I should. The "circlejerking" claims are just pretentious horseshit. I don't know any other way to read that then "People are agreeing in a thread I don't like so fuck them." Fuck, even when the majority disagree with me I don't think I'd ever accuse them of circlejerking. It just makes no fucking sense.

What's amazing is he admits that it wasn't even the circlejerk he accused it of being.

Because as Mondt himself says, people actually, you know, posted differing opinions. It was actually a pretty decent - not like, WHOA THIS SHIT IS THE BEST THREAD EVERS or anything, but decent - before it got all Mondtparty up in here.

Like personally I think trolling is a fairly interesting topic to discuss, given its whole amorphous nature and how there's really not even one set definition of it, which really there even couldn't be, given its amorphous nature.

And I think it's really interesting when you start looking at a lot of types of public activity - which have gone on long before the internet came up with "trolling" as a thing - from the context of looking at them as trolling, because it's an interesting way to dig at the fundamental insincerity that seems to be at the heart of a lot of these sorts of things.

It seems like we have the Mondt thread now, I guess we could try rerailing this one? It might be too far gone now though, I don't know.

Viridis

10-31-2010, 03:05 AM

Well, here's Beck being a douche Beck (http://machineofdeath.net/a/159) because another book* sold more than his on release day.

*A really neat book by David Malki !, Ryan North, and a lot of other people (http://machineofdeath.net/a/the-final-lineup).

Another link about it. (http://wondermark.com/mod-aftermath/)

Kim

10-31-2010, 03:09 AM

Archbio

10-31-2010, 03:12 AM

Well, here's Beck being a douche Beck because another book* sold more than his on release day.

I'm never going to claim that Beck isn't 100% sincere about his ego in addition to his wallet.

Magus

10-31-2010, 01:11 PM

I think a good question to ask is what sort of bare minimum is needed to unify all the different trolling forms/methods. Is it something as simple as insincerity? Having seen Glenn Beck make the comments about gay marriage that he did ("If it neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket what difference is it to me?"), I suspect he's very sincere about what he believes, which really makes it all the more terrifying.

So he doesn't oppose gay marriage, then? Or Islam? Since the whole quote reads like this:

The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg. � Thomas Jefferson (1781)

Also he stole my chance to quote Thomas Jefferson like a good libertarian would.

What does Glenn Beck oppose? Big government, I would surmise. What does Big Government do that he hates? If it is not the laws they enact to protect people I am assuming it is social programs, which are paid for by taxes. So what Glenn Beck hates are taxes, even though the 16th Amendment allows for taxes:

The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.

Then again when Tea Partiers talk about the Constitution, they seem to define it as only the Bill of Rights so I guess the 16th Amendment is Unconstitutional to them.

For some reason they don't seem to talk about getting rid of the 16th Amendment very much, despite probably being able to get support from even liberals who dislike taxes. For some reason they were focusing on the 14th Amendment and Mexican Anchor Babies despite this having little to do with stopping Big Government.

Kim

10-31-2010, 04:20 PM

So he doesn't oppose gay marriage, then?

I think he opposes it, but doesn't want to make a huge deal out of it like other Republicans like to, at least where this quote is from. I consider it a sign of his sincerity since him saying this actually pissed people off, and if he didn't mean what he said, he would have gone along with the whole "Gays are the end of America" thing. That the man actually means what he says is a far more terrifying prospect than that he's just trolling everyone. I think he isn't even aware of all the inherent hypocrisy and nonsense in what he says. He actually thinks he's right.

I mean, good for him basically saying gay rights aren't a threat, but that he was willing to says some frightening things about everything wrong that he says.

synkr0nized

10-31-2010, 10:42 PM

When I don't like threads/a forum, I don't post in them.

I'm not really sure what this is here.

Mondt

10-31-2010, 11:37 PM

When I don't like threads/a forum, I don't post in them.

I'm not really sure what this is here.Started out as a little bit of bitterness and frustration.

Ended in self-loathing, a shitty day, bitterness, frustration, boredom, and levels of apathy previously unknown to me!

BitVyper

11-01-2010, 12:03 AM

When I don't like threads/a forum, I don't post in them.

Oh the hell you don't. Aren't you the one that I've seen coming in to mock the premise almost every time there has been a thread about martial arts or personal abilities? Don't get me wrong though, I pretty much am totally down with said mocking. (Edit: Okay saying "almost every time" is probably a huge exaggeration, but I'm damn sure I've seen you do it in quite a few)

Anyway, Mondt really just made a "fuck this shit" post, and it all escalated out of control. And honestly, how many "X political commentator is a huge douchebag" threads have we had? I mean, I don't personally have a problem with it, but I can certainly see someone getting a bit fed up.

Fifthfiend

11-01-2010, 03:53 PM

It's a shame we gotta reshit this thread even when we have the Mondt thread for this shit but w/ev I guess, original topic is probably just irrecoverable.

And yeah synk I mean I agree with your post here but TBH you have totally tended to be one of the "ugh this thread is a BAD THREAD" posting people. Not on the level Mondt was all over this thread, but still.