"Will The Telephone Destroy The Telegraph Business?" or "Just For Synk And Magus"

[Seil]

When I heard that dear old Mr. Bell had done it - harnessing electricity to craft his... his "telephone," I was disturbed. Surely such a device is needed in our modern age, what with the post offices relying on their animals. Though no one can question the nobleness of the horse, it surely is a most uncleanly beast, dirtying up the streets of our towne.

Why, with the advent of this "telephone," message-men the world over would need to look for new fields of work. This device is surely a threat to the economy of every well-bred gentleman.

This is almost as terrible as Ferdinand Verbiest and his damed "automocar!"

Stop.

So yeah, I don't really know the span of time atwixt the invention of cars, phones and the fall of telegraphs. So sue me. I just wanted to stick it to Magus, and to a lesser extent, Synk.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I am from the future- the answer is yes.

[Fifthfiend]

Yeah those telegraphers are fucked.

[Arhra]

No sirs, it is this dreadful locomotive business we must be concerned about.

Have you seen those horrible iron behemoths? If this ridiculous railway plan goes ahead, they could be thundering across the landscape making a godawful noise, belching smoke, exploding livestock and setting fire to crops.

Passengers will choke to death! The speed of these abominations of ironmongery will draw the breath out of their very lungs from the differences in air pressure.

[synkr0nized]

I just wanted to stick it to Magus, and to a lesser extent, Synk.[/size]

u mad?!

[Fifthfiend]

I am honestly wondering what Synk and Magus did to incur Seil's fluffy, cotton-candy-coloured wrath.

[synkr0nized]

As for my part, I teased him in his online shopping thread for being in the past. So I guess he went further back in time to snag this topic.

[PyrosNine]

I still can't stand this newfangled ELECTRICITY. In my day, all you needed was a rock, another rock, maybe a stick, and then something flammable, and you were set for life! Until it rained, and then you had to make fire again.

Fire used to be the center of civilization, and now it's just a minor convenience, like paper towels!

[Seil]

Actually, this was directed more to Magus' "I'm Taking Bets On Seil's Next Topic!"

I am honestly wondering what Synk and Magus did to incur Seil's fluffy, cotton-candy-coloured wrath.

Ill conceived, uneducated, rushed and spelled out cotton candy wrath. I'd say they deserve better, but...

No sirs, it is this dreadful locomotive business we must be concerned about.

Have you seen those horrible iron behemoths? If this ridiculous railway plan goes ahead, they could be thundering across the landscape making a godawful noise, belching smoke, exploding livestock and setting fire to crops.

Passengers will choke to death! The speed of these abominations of ironmongery will draw the breath out of their very lungs from the differences in air pressure.

Sounds good.

I'm going to outsource you for all my wrath now. You'll be that foreign "Customer Service Representative" after my intended are on hold for, like, three hours.

Actually, no. That would just make you a regular "Customer Service Representative." Nevermind.

[Specterbane]

Little did you know THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO IN THE FUTURE! Christian Bale descended back in time to steal away Alexander Graham Bell's girl friend while they were in distance towns half a continent apart so as to inspire him to device this telephone as the first step in destroying the ultimate robot race of terminators, who's ancient ancestors were in fact...the telegraph.

THIS is the truth to how it is, because it is the truth to how it was. And how it will always be.

[Archbio]

u mad?!

http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/1230/pashadlychnikoff.jpg

I think I haven't enough English for you, Mr. Swearengen.

[Flarecobra]

At least he's not complaining about Fire or The Wheel.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

On behalf of my fellow dragons, I demand reparations! It is recorded in legend that the so-called "hero" Prometheus stole fire from the gods to give to man, when in fact he had only loaned it from us (claiming it was for a party he and a few other gents were throwing together) and had promised to return it within a fortnight, along with helping us move a couch that previous Saturday. Well, that couch still remains unmoved and mankind continues to fritter about with what is rightfully ours! I ask you, good sirs, when will justice be done!?

[BitVyper]

I'm more concerned about this whole "agriculture" business. I mean, that's just playing in God's domain, don't you think?

[Torque]

http://www.lowtechmagazine.com/images/2008/02/19/motorwheel_3.jpg

TA DA!

[Doc ock rokc]

http://www.lowtechmagazine.com/images/2008/02/19/motorwheel_3.jpg

TA DA!

I say good sir. What devilry is this!

[Aldurin]

Forget electricity, there's been scientists who believe they can make bombs that fly. And they could even be guided by something they call a "lazur", probably the trapped souls of swordsmiths, and could travel for miles.

When that gets out, this whole world will be a scorched dump within a month. I just hope to have a part in it.

[Magus]

[color=pink]When I heard that dear old Mr. Bell had done it - harnessing electricity to craft his... his "telephone," I was disturbed. Surely such a device is needed in our modern age, what with the post offices relying on their animals. Though no one can question the nobleness of the horse, it surely is a most uncleanly beast, dirtying up the streets of our towne.

Why, with the advent of this "telephone," message-men the world over would need to look for new fields of work. This device is surely a threat to the economy of every well-bred gentleman.

This is almost as terrible as Ferdinand Verbiest and his damed "automocar!"

Stop.


March 21, 1904

The Post Daily-Times Gazette Intelligiencer

Editorial Page

A STUNNING RESPONSE TO A LETTER HERETOFORE RECORDED IN OUR PAGES BY SEIL CARDINGTON, EARL OF DUNFORTH, IN CONDEMNATION OF THE DIVERS 'DEVILISH CONTRAPTIONS' WHICH ARE TO HENCEFORTH PROPAGATE THEMSELVES UPON OUR CONSTITUENCY

BEING A LEARNED OPINION TO THE CONTRARY IN OPPOSITION TO THE OPINION HERETOFORE SET FORTH BY THE GOOD EARL OF DUNFORTH AND AN ENUMERATION OF HIS ERRORS.

Good sir, your consistent dismissal of the prodigious advancements in manufactory and machinological contraptionology being made by the proponents of technomancy is quite unfounded. You speak of horseless carriages and locomotives as if they are the harbinger of the end of days, but I have it on good authority that even as we speak there is on the Amerigan continent two brothers, common bi-cycle repair men, who have demonstrated heavier-than-air flight, without the aid of heated gasses or other such machinations, based merely on a mathematical principle of lift! This will soon allow for much greater proficiency in guided flight, hither and anon across the span of the widest of oceans!

Rather than bringing about the economic upheaval and destruction of our good commonwealth, I would instead infer from this development and all others the rise instead of necessity for skilled workers to construct these marvelous machines, and trained pilots to aid in guiding them in their flight, not to mention the ease with which the merchants of our good realm shall be able to trade their divers goods across the whole of the entire globe!

I dare say, good sir, you and your fellow Luddites will be hard pressed to stop the advancement of these progressive machinations, no matter how many mechanised looms, or, I would suppose, in this case, bi-cycle shops, you put to the torch.

A hardy guffaw from those of us accepting of these latest technological marvels shall be all you achieve!

Sincerely,
Baron Janus von Magusson IV

Stop.

[Seil]

http://www.lowtechmagazine.com/images/2008/02/19/motorwheel_3.jpg

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XqKvKUTElA#t=1m34s)

[Torque]

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XqKvKUTElA#t=1m34s)

MOVING PICTURES?! HE'S A WITCH!

[Flarecobra]

I'll start warming the tar.

[Aerozord]

none of this would happen if you all weren't using that, sentient thought of yours. Where do you all get off with all of this thinking non-sense.

BACK TO WORK DRONES