I can't sleep

[Pip Boy]

I haven't been able to sleep in about 2 days now. Mostly I've just been dinking around on my computer (caught up on homestuck, watched 2 seasons of 30 Rock and 3 seasons of The Big Bang Theory) and lie in bed thinking "oh fuck man it would be totally really awesome if I were asleep right now". I think ultimately the purpose of this thread is to complain about my insomnia and ask about any remedies to help me sleep or time-sinks so I'm not bored when I'm awake, since this is somehow probably all your fault. You bastards. DESTROY CAPITALISM! I HATE FREEDOM AND ALSO RAINBOWS!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Caprture Santa Claus tonight and eat his heart.

[Pip Boy]

That doesn't seem like a cure for insomnia or boredom but at least my message is getting through loud and clear and you're feeling that "Christmas Spirit". CHRISTMAS WILL BURN TO THE GROUND RIGHT ON TOP OF THE CAPITALIST REGIME THAT HAS PERVERTED IT FROM ITS ONCE-PURE WAYS! HEIL LENIN! MURDER UNICORNS!

[RickZarber]

I feel your pain, buddy. I've been having bad insomnia problems lately myself. (Comes and goes every few months for me.)

Unfortunately I have no sure remedies, and my best advice is probably something you don't want: try to stay off the computer. I can keep going for hours and hours just staring at a screen, totally brain-dead-tired but still technically awake. Managing to pull away from that is key. For me, I've found the surest way of getting over that hump from tired to sleepy is to pluck at an acoustic guitar... so anything like that, where you can let the thinking part of your mind wander off, would be worth a shot. DESTROY ALL DREAMERS W/ DEBT + DEPRESSION

[Satan's Onion]

At the risk of suggesting something you've already tried, maybe it would help to get yourself a nice hot drink? Hot chocolate is good at this time of year, and I'm enjoying some Lady Grey tea at the moment myself.

If you'd rather have a nice time-sink, I respectfully submit The Onion online. I can start there with one article and just keep clicking on interesting-sounding links for hours. There's all sorts of stuff there--some of my favorites are about gheys having secks OMG (http://www.theonion.com/articles/gay-couple-has-banal-sex,4767/); the budget (http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-demands-tax-dollars-only-be-wasted-on-stuff,17704/); Bob Dylan selling out again (http://www.theonion.com/articles/rock-fans-outraged-as-bob-dylan-goes-electronica,17699/); the scientific method (http://www.theonion.com/articles/rogue-scientist-has-own-scientific-method,1976/); and even things you see every day (http://www.theonion.com/articles/local-idiot-to-post-comment-on-internet,2500/).

edit: Also, since you mentioned watching TV shows, go watch Community if you aren't already familiar with it. It's only in its second season, so there's not a whole ton to catch up with, but if you're just killing time while you're waiting to feel sleepy, you may as well fill the hours with something excellent.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Take 2 pints of Nyquil and call me in the morning.

[Token]

I've been getting at most two hours of sleep a day for the past month or so. I feel your pain.

[Fifthfiend]

Exercise / general activity, if your computer is in the room where you're trying to sleep get it out of the room where you're trying to sleep, try and get rid of anything else that might be distracting you or interfering with your sleep (clocks, when I can't sleep it often partly becomes because of how late it already is so unplugging clocks / turning them where I can't see 'em helps), and try and deal with any sources of stress you may be avoiding

[Pip Boy]

Going to girlfriend's house did not help. Did, however, get a chance to try out fifthfiend's suggestion of exercise/general activity. BURN THE INFIDELS! OUR HOLY FIRES WILL CRAWL FORTH AND PURGE THEM FROM THIS LAND!

[Bells]

It's December 24th... aren't you supposed to be stuffing your face with turkey and a bunch of other stuff in a few hours? And Booze...!

I'm pretty sure you will sleep tonight. Probably waking up in 2011

[Krylo]

Have you tried laying on your bed and having your eyes closed and just relaxing? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCpNWWLjMHo)

[pochercoaster]

Sleeping pills or extra strength benadryl can help you for 1 or 2 nights just to get back into a regular sleeping pattern (don't take them for more than a couple days because it's not healthy and they lose their effectiveness fast.) Note that this only works if you don't stay up on the computer.

I dunno about everyone else but reading a book has always worked for me because lying in bed thinking about how you can't sleep is a surefire way to stay awake. If you read at least it distracts you.

Don't turn on every light in your room in the evening. If it's dim in your room a couple hours before bedtime it'll put you in the right mindset.

[Aldurin]

Eat some heavy food, like turkey and eggnog. There's a watchumacallit thing in it that causes you to become sleepy.

Just don't drink too much eggnog or the laws of biology will dictate that you can't keep it.

[Marc v4.0]

Never try to go right from the computer/video games to the bed. Step away at least 15 to 20 minutes before you actually want to head to the bed. If I recall correctly from the articles I've read, your brain needs time to crank down from the stimulation the two activities provide. I have spent many a night unable to go to sleep while on the computer.

Reading never helps me if the book is good, I just stay up all night reading the book.

[Fifthfiend]

Going to girlfriend's house did not help. Did, however, get a chance to try out fifthfiend's suggestion of exercise/general activity. BURN THE INFIDELS! OUR HOLY FIRES WILL CRAWL FORTH AND PURGE THEM FROM THIS LAND!

If you are going to try this, make sure the exercise is at least several hours before you plan to sleep; if possible right after whenever it is that you'd like to be waking up.

Never try to go right from the computer/video games to the bed. Step away at least 15 to 20 minutes before you actually want to head to the bed. If I recall correctly from the articles I've read, your brain needs time to crank down from the stimulation the two activities provide. I have spent many a night unable to go to sleep while on the computer.

I really need to do this, it's way too often that I go "welp just half an hour of TF2 before bed" and WELP

[Marc v4.0]

Going to girlfriend's house did not help. Did, however, get a chance to try out fifthfiend's suggestion of exercise/general activity.

If this is insinuating what I think it is, then you just didn't try hard enough and should go back and keep at it until you get tired enough to sleep.

There aren't many things better you could be doing all night long.

[Pip Boy]

At least I wasn't bored. THE END OF TIMES IS UPON YOU ALL! THE MIGHTY SLUBERING GOD OF THE DEEP WILL RISE AND BRING ANARCHY AND CHAOS UPON YOUR UNSUSPECTING WORLD.