Punching Hunger in the Dick: Another Food Thread

[TDK]

The best pancakes are when you make the pancakes in the same pan you just made sausage or bacon in. The grease makes greasing the pan unnecessary and makes the pancakes even more delicious.

We're all fat. This is a food thread.

[Satan's Onion]

Speaking of Things That Will Make You Fat, You Fatass: Key-lime/tangerine cheesecake--the result of not one, but two accidents in which my mother's carefully-prepared key lime juice and zestings were knocked all over the floor, forcing her to improvise. No matter how yummy you think it is, it's yummier than that. (Yes, even that.)

[Hanuman]

Disagreed, if you can get the mix right you can add extra oil and make pancake doughnuts. Bacon, while good, just mean icecream tastes worse with it. Also, waffles are a way better medium for toppings, and toppings are king.

[Aldurin]

You want a food that will make you fat? Fine then, you'll regret it.

Take several golden or brown potatoes, dice into approx. 1 square inch pieces.
Prepare a large frying pan with peanut oil or vegetable oil or bacon grease.
Begin frying at high heat, making sure to stir enough to prevent burning.
For prepare you other ingredients.
Onion, I can't remember if it's a half or a whole but diced pretty small (maybe 1 cm).
Red pepper, this is more for flavor than for the pitiful amount of heat it will add. Dice like you did with onions.
Rosemary, this is a key seasoning but there's a better version that requires some preparing. (Grind rosemary, salt and lemon zest in a pestle and mortar).
(Optional) black beans, but I don't use them because I feel it masks the flavor and texture of the dish.
Meat: Bacon or Sausage (recommend bacon). Cook in a separate pan for adding last. If you chose bacon using the grease in the main dish is encouraged.
The dish takes somewhere from over half an hour to close to 45 or 50 minutes, though it may vary depending on the size.
Rosemary (or the rosemary salt) should be added towards the end. Beans, pepper and onion should be put in early enough so that they're cooked when the potatoes are done. Meat should be added within the last few minutes so that it doesn't overcook.
Once it's done you can add whatever cheese you like on top. Ketchup is not necessary.

EDIT: recipe is inexact so I may be off on certain things

[Azisien]

Perogy Stuffed Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Disclaimer: Not for the person with faint of heart.

Boil enough cheddar perogies (they can be whatever flavour you want, really) to fill a sandwich. This depends on what kind of perogies you buy. Some are huge and you only need 1-2 cooked. For the ones I buy, they are pretty small and I need 3-5.

When perogies float, toss in a frying pan at medium heat to crisp them up. Add cajun and butter to taste. Add some chopped onions, they should be done when the perogies are crisp.

At the same time, make a grilled cheese sandwich.

Put perogies and onions in the middle of the grilled cheese sandwich.

Eat.

Die.

[Torque]

Beef stew:
Brown stewing beef in a pot, adding 5 cloves of garlic mashed with salt and thyme
add oregano and basil, the quantity varies on taste. I like a lot. you may not.

Dice 4-5 nice sized potatoes into large cubes
Peal and chop 4-5 nice sized parsnips
chop half a stalk of celery
dice one half of one large white or red onion

place in the pot you browned the beef in, about half the vegetables and fill with water until they are all just covered. Add beef bullion, but not too much. just enough till the water is flavorful
simmer until the potatoes are tender
Now add the rest of the veggies. Add water until all is just covered. Cook until they are tender.

This is the key here... Stir constantly. every few minutes, while everything is simmering. The doubly cooked veggies will begin to almost dissolve in the water. This is what gives the stew it's nice thickness. No fattening flour or starch required!

For added pizazz, add some diced tomatoes, and tomato paste.
Serve with lightly garlic'd rye bread and salad.
Eat for a week.
Be healthy! Low fat! Lots of protein!

[mauve]

Flourless chocolate cupcakes: the most delicious cupcake known to mankind.

I found a recipe on Instructables.com and decided to try it out just for the hell of it. OH GOODNESS THEY ARE THE GREATEST THING EVER.

The only ingredients: Bittersweet chocolate (you can use chocolate chips instead of a chopped up bar of chocolate if you convert the ounces into cups), butter, sugar, eggs, and unsweetened cocoa powder. Check it out yourself: www.instructables.com/id/Flourless-Chocolate-Cupcakes/

Think of the best brownies you've ever had. Then imagine them a hundred times better. That's about what these cupcakes are.

[Aldurin]

I'm surprised nobody has named their recipes after themselves.

[Great Cartoonist]

A time ago, instead of real cheddar or the processed "cheese" that you'd find in fast-food cheeseburgers, I decided to make my own cheeseburger with brie cheese. The result is a deliciously greasy combination of both tastes.
Also, I use honey instead of sugar whenever possible. It makes a lot of foods WAY more interesting. For example, my personal recipe for a sundae:
- Place a scoop of your favorite ice cream in a bowl.
- Add a thin layer of honey all over it and let it harden.
- Decorate with a light strawberry/cherry/raspberry/cranberry jam/coulis.
- Add another layer of honey.
- Sprinkle some fresh pomegranate seeds.
- Top with a cherry.

[Pip Boy]

Holy shit guys, I found something out today.

I can make bacon whenever I want. I just have to get bacon, and then cook the bacon. Its crazy. Why didn't anyone tell me this?

EDIT: And I just had cereal for dinner! Whats going on!?

EDIT AGAIN: And then I was still hungry so I knocked out a can of chili with hot dogs in it. And Im still kind of hungry. A PORTAL TO THE ABYSS HAS OPENED IN MY TUMMY AND IT DEMANDS MORE NOMMERS.

[Aldurin]

Pip Boy, calm down and eat more bacon.

[BitVyper]

I call this one the "I Am Single And Never Learned To Cook." You take two pieces of bread, spread cheese whiz on one of them, put them together (cheese facing the inside), and eat.

Tune in next time for another of my favourites: "Give Up And Order A Goddamn Pizza Already."

[PCD]

Peel some shrimp. Throw it in a pan with garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper, paprika, and cumin. Cook it and then throw it over some rice. Suck up the extra juices with some bread. Add some questionmarks, then profit.

[Darth SS]

I strongly suspect many people here have either seen something by EpicMealTime, or actively follow it. Inspired by them, a good friend of mine decided to invite me over for breakfast this morning. Please understand that I did not know what would be for breakfast, and was not even suspicious when he advocated I bus over, as I intended to bus to campus afterwards anyways.

He cooked a shit-load of bacon to a crisp, then crumbled it. Put that and chocolate chips into a beer batter waffle. Alongside this he made a omelette with tomatoes, cheese, bacon and leftover beer-marinated pork. The waffles were covered with jack daniels-maple syrup, and then he made bacon-whiskey-eggnog out of the remainder of his holiday nog. Fun fact: Because the JD takes down the viscosity of the syrup so much, it was getting absorbed very quickly into the waffles, so I would poor more syrup onto it to compensate.

Ho. Ly. Crap. I was trashed after breakfast. The syrup hid the alcohol so well, and all I could take in the nog was the smokiness of the bacon. I ended up going to campus at about noon and was hammered at my first class of this term.

[Nique]

By the way, 'Punching Hunger in the Dick' is literally and unequivocally the best name for a food drive or charity.