If you're going to lie, at least tell a lie you can cover up

[Kim]

So, today was my first day in Japanese class. Very good time. Learned a few things, have some Japanese homework, and overall it just feels nice to be really learning things again. Good times.

Anywho, beginning of the Japanese class, the teacher tells us to talk to the person next to us and find out three things about them, because rather than them introducing themselves, our job is to introduce our neighbor, and our neighbor will introduce us. Good idea since everyone needs to know at least someone in the class so we can practice and shit.

The three things we needed to know:

1. The other person's name
2. Why they're taking the class
3. Random other stuff

So, my neighbor's answer to number two is that he actually lived in Japan for a while, came back and wanted to brush up on the language before moving back after this semester.

So yeah, he's totally full of shit. There were other lies, like his explanation for how he totally snuck into TGS, but those other lies are irrelevant, let's just focus on the main one. Now, if you have lived in Japan for a while, I doubt you need to be taking Elementary Japanese 1A. Maybe try Japanese 2A, at the very least? If you HAVE to take Japanese 1A, for whatever reason, you aren't heading back after just that class. Not a very good lie. If you're going to lie, lie well.

His lie completely fell apart when we had to do vocab practice. His pronunciation was... pretty awful. Like incredibly fucking awful and he couldn't read the words for shit. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't criticize him. After all, I'm sure people could point out plenty of mistakes I made, it's his first day in the class, etc etc. BUT! If you make such a boldfaced lie that you totally lived in Japan for a while and then cannot even fucking pronounce the words you deserve every bit of mockery you get. You brought it on yourself.

Today's moral: Don't lie beyond your ability to cover up.

Anyone else got good bad liar stories?

[Funka Genocide]

Dude I lived in Japan for 3 years and would need to start on the ground floor were I interested in learning the language.

Just being somewhere doesn't equate to fluency in the language, learning by osmosis is a myth.

Also, language skills decay over time if not used.

I only remember a few useful phrases like:

Suminasen
Ohaio
Konban wa
Yoroshikun
Anata no pantsu wa nani iro desu ka

[Kim]

And I'm sure you learn so quickly that you're totally moving back after a single semester of Japanese?

[Funka Genocide]

You are aware that a good majority of people in Japan are quite proficient in English right?

That's how I got around. Just asked people to talk slowly for me.

Also, what is TGS?

[Bells]

Tokyo Game Show.

Also, it could still be a lie... Japanese is not a easy language, granted, but i would expect at least some Phonetic memory out of this guy, she should at least pronounce the words better than what NonCon is saying...

Maybe it's just a Shell of a lie? Like "i've been to Japan, but never left my room and now i want to go back and do more stuff so i actually have to learn the stuff this time, but i still think Japan is awesome so i'll act like i was Yakuza for a week and shit"

[pochercoaster]

Um, some people don't pick up languages while others do. People are naturally proficient at different things. Some people can pick up reading and pronunciation of foreign languages easily and others can't- and Japanese isn't even in the same group of languages as English so it makes it that much harder.

Now if you watch subbed anime all day it might be easier to pick up on reading and pronunciation but not everyone who takes a Japanese language class does.

And even if you are proficient in a language it's easy to forget if you don't use it for awhile. I studied french daily in school for 11 years and was approaching semi fluency but after I graduated I stopped practicing and forgot the vast majority of what I learned. That goes for most other skills too- use it or lose it, right?

I mean I'm not saying he wasn't lying, but the concept that someone can live in Japan and then move and have horrible Japanese skills doesn't come off as a lie to me.

[Jagos]

Dude, I was there for seven years. I remember a bit but saying that he's an outright liar for it is a little bad.

First, you can get around with the signs around (http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2011/01/shidax-dohtonbori-club.jpg). Second, you can figure things out pretty good.

And the people are pretty awesome:

http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2008/08/funny-hairdo.jpg

So yeah, he could be from Japan and not had to use it. Or else it's just he didn't try too hard to learn it and is now regretting it.

[Hanuman]

Proof?

[Jagos]

Proof?

Of...?

[Funka Genocide]

Of...?

Life?

Like a finger wrapped in gauze.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I lived in France for about 3 months, I don't know any French at all.

[rpgdemon]

ALTERNATELY: I lived in America all my life, and I STILL don't know Spanish. I feel lied to.