You get a single wish

[BitVyper]

It has only two limitations: You can't wish for more wishes, meaning you also can't wish to be a wish-granting entity (God, a genie, etc), and you must be able to make your wish with a single, properly constructed sentence - no run ons allowed - beginning with the words "I wish." Wishes are not cursed, but the more open ended you make them, the more unexpected the results could be.

Given these conditions, what would you wish for?

[Krylo]

It has only two limitations: You can't wish for more wishes, meaning you also can't wish to be a wish-granting entity

But I can wish FOR a genie? Or thirty?

Edit: And all of them played by Barbara Eden. In her youth.

[BitVyper]

But I can wish FOR a genie? Or thirty?

I forgot to mention that trying to find loopholes to get more wishes turns your wish-granting device into a flying dick that follows you everywhere and ejaculates at you no less than twenty times per day.

Edit: And all of them played by Barbara Eden. In her youth.

Nevermind. You can totally have this.

[Funka Genocide]

I wish to see the face of god.

Hopefully the generic nature of the term leads me to something of relevance. If the genie just shrugs and shakes his head then I get to say I told you so to like, everyone.

Unfortunately if its granted I probably end up instantly vaporized and consigned to some less than favorable afterlife.

[Krylo]

I'm ok with that.

It was my second choice.

[Torque]

That's the problem with wishes. You will never ever really get what you want.
Let's face it, without writing up a massive goddamned legal contract with more latin in it than you can shake your wang at, something is inevitably going to fuck you up sooner or later. Probably sooner.
Example:
I was going to wish for simplicity in my life. - Not neccessarily ease, but simplicity.
Let's analyze this.
Complex relationships? Girlfriend, family, co-workers? Gone. While Co-workers, and some family gone I might not complain about, the rest is highly sucky :(

Work? Also gone. Can't have a simple life if you're constantly busting your ass to get the promotion to pay for your mortgage, or the fancy new sports car that just came out. Or hell, even just to keep your boss impressed enough to not fire your ass to replace you with the cheapest mexican equivalent.

That reminds me. Cars are out. Maintenance, insurance, commuting, traffic, gas prices, all of these things make people batshit crazy.

NOTHING in life can be made simple except by removing it, and so in wishing for simplicity I am essentially wishing for a couple bottles of Demoral and a glass of whiskey.

About the easiest thing to wish for in today's mordern society, in order to achieve a simple or easy life would be to wish for money. But obviously if you just say "I wish for money", some asshole genie might drop a buck in your lap and laugh his ass off at you.
BUT, let's say you wish for $10,000,000... Great, you just became a millionaire, and should have it pretty easy.
Where did that money come from? You deposit $10,000,000 in your bank over night and someone's gonna notice. Now you got the feds trying to trace that money. If it was magically "appropriated" for your use, then you've just been thrown in jail for stealing $10,000,000 of someone elses moolah. If it just appeared out of thin air magically, via your wish, then you've just been sent to jail for counterfeiting, because I'm pretty sure that "Really, I swear officer, a genie gave it to me!" Is not a good defense.

If I had one single wish it would be to wish that I never had the wish to begin with. Or if I wanted to be a cock, I would wish that someone else be given my wish instead :)

[mauve]

I'm pretty sure a Metroid-esque power suit would solve all of my problems ever.

[BitVyper]

The wishes aren't cursed. Unexpected things could happen, but this isn't a monkey's paw that will actively fuck you over.

[Torque]

Not saying it would actively fuck you over. It's just the nature of the topic at hand. These things are going to happen because that's how it works. It's like dominoes. No matter how narrowly you try to define your wish someone ELSE is going to be affected by it, and the more people that are involved the more complex the clusterfuck becomes. The whole money this is the best example, and I'll be damned if I can think of one thing a wish could make simpler without just simply making it go away

[Krylo]

Now you got the feds trying to trace that money. If it was magically "appropriated" for your use, then you've just been thrown in jail for stealing $10,000,000 of someone elses moolah. If it just appeared out of thin air magically, via your wish, then you've just been sent to jail for counterfeiting, because I'm pretty sure that "Really, I swear officer, a genie gave it to me!" Is not a good defense.


Well that's what you get for bein' dumb and depositing it all at once, instead of just quitting your job, and depositing a thousand or two every month into high dividend stocks, and just enough to pay bills into your bank account, while buying anything you need--just nothing extravagant enough to turn eyes--with straight up cash.

[Torque]

Well that's what you get for bein' dumb and depositing it all at once, instead of just quitting your job, and depositing a thousand or two every month into high dividend stocks, and just enough to pay bills into your bank account, while buying anything you need--just nothing extravagant enough to turn eyes--with straight up cash.

And where are you going to keep the rest of the cash while you sit on it, trying to launder it? Your mattress? God forbid you ever have a fire. Or wet the bed. Or get broken into.
Not to mention the whole "I have A hojillion dollars but I can't use it to buy awesome shit like any normal hojillionaire can because I have to hide the shit."

[BitVyper]

Why waste a magical wish on money?

And where are you going to keep the rest of the cash while you sit on it, trying to launder it? Your mattress? God forbid you ever have a fire. Or wet the bed. Or get broken into.

If you keep reaching like that, you're going to pull something.

Edit: It's not like you even have to leave your wish open ended; if money is all you want, just wish for like, winning numbers for this week's lottery (so you know exactly what the jackpot is).

[Torque]

Edit: It's not like you even have to leave your wish open ended; if money is all you want, just wish for like, winning numbers for this week's lottery (so you know exactly what the jackpot is).



That is quite clever.
But I was trying to use obvious points earlier to make my point more clear. That if you want something truly worthwhile, unless you're trained in the art of legalese, I think you're never going to get what you really want without some accidental unforeseen consequence to your action.
Like my slightly more obscure point about simplicity.
Hell if we're just making any old thing up, then I wish for invulnerability. Note that invulnerability is distinct from immortality. I can still die, which would be great, but I ain't getting there by way of plane crash, knife, or ebola.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

I wish I had the Flashes powers, with all of the secondary stuff included, so that I could help people.

Ha! Try and screw up something that is (mostly) selfless.

[Krylo]

If you were really being selfless you'd wish for something like... all people being able to truly understand each other, or world peace, or an end to bigotry in all its forms or something of that nature.

[Azisien]

I wish that the world of Pokemon be merged with our own.

[RobinStarwing]

I wish Winter would end today.

Happy Imbolg tomorrow!

[BitVyper]

I think you're never going to get what you really want without some accidental unforeseen consequence to your action.

So what? There's consequences to earning a hojillion dollars legitimately too. Probably worse and more far reaching than just poofing it into existence, since that kind of scratch generally comes at the expense of a lot of ordinary folk. There's always consequences. If you can't take the heat...

But your example didn't effectively demonstrate that. If anything, it demonstrates that it's really not that hard to go the boring route and use your wish to get on easy street for life with minimal consequences.

[Torque]

So what? There's consequences to earing a hojillion dollars legitimately too. Probably worse and more far reaching than just poofing it into existence, since that kind of scratch generally comes at the expense of a lot of ordinary folk. There's always consequences. If you can't take the heat...

I'm not talking about the consequences to others though. I'm talking about the consequences to yourself for making a wish that would have impact on your own life. In essence, wishing for something inachievably awesome in your own life is going to have the unintended consequence of someone else either missing what you some how obtained, wanting what you somehow obtained, or someone taking away what you have obtained. In which case, you have now just lost what you wished for anyway.


But your example didn't effectively demonstrate that. If anything, it demonstrates that it's really not that hard to go the boring route and use your wish to get on easy street for life with minimal consequences.

Maybe. The 'money route' was just a simple exaggerated example. That's why I analyzed in further detail what I might have REALLY wished for. As I said earlier. But if by "boring route" you mean attempting to place the topic within context of a real world situation, then you're probably right. Hence the invulnerability comment later on.
I mean, let's face it, saying "your wish may have unintended, and unexpected results" but then leaving THAT statement open ended by not posting any examples is just boring, and dumb. Why bother saying it at all if you're not going to logically think out the statement.
I chose instead to actually put some thought into the effort. And came to the conclusion that the X-Files has basically put the Kibosh on all y'all motherfuckers. Je Souhaite!

[Seil]

World peace forever.

[Aldurin]

I wish for . . . the seven Chaos Emeralds!!

[Amake]

I wish I could fly
Out in the blue
Over this town
Following you
I'd fly over rooftops
The great boulevards
To try to find out
Who you really are
Who you really are

I wish I could fly now
Wish I could fly now
Wish I could fly now

I wish I could fly
Around and around
Over this town
The dirt on the ground
I'd follow your course
Of doors left ajar
To try to find out
Who you really are
To try to find out
Who you really are

[Kyanbu The Legend]

I wish for speed beyond the speed of light. The power to travel the universe and beyond in mere minutes. complete with flight and the ability to survive the harsh conditions of space and other planets.

[Solid Snake]

I'd wish for Sburb to be a playable game and for me and fifteen other individuals I chose to have the only playable copies.

...I hope the rest of you don't mind getting crushed by meteors!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I wish that none of you guys ever get wishes.

[DFM]

I wish I had your beard.

[Krylo]

I wish I had your beard.

I wish you would shave, honey bear.

[DFM]

I wish you would give me a reason to.

[Si Civa]

Wish you were here.

Oh, I don't mean you.

[Melfice]

I wish that the world of Pokemon be merged with our own.

Let's further specify this.

I wish that Pokémon, with all the rules established in the games and anime-series, would exist on our world.


See, now our Earth isn't destroyed by the merging of the two planets (open-ended wish = literal wish), and we still get to have monstrous deathbeasts that don't actively hunt us down.

[DFM]

What are the rules, even? I don't watch Pokemans.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Horrible monsters live in your grass. What a nightmare you HAVE WROUGHT

[RobinStarwing]

Horrible monsters live in your grass. What a nightmare you HAVE WROUGHT

Oh come on, you'd cuddle a Rattata dear.;)

[Professor Smarmiarty]

IT'S A GIANT RAT WITH POISONOUS FANGS AND CAN MOVE AT THE SPEED OF WIND

[RobinStarwing]

IT'S A GIANT RAT WITH POISONOUS FANGS AND CAN MOVE AT THE SPEED OF WIND

Yes but we know you'd love it. ;)

You'd also probably love Magikarp and Feebas too!