Turn me into the belle of the ball

[TopHatAssassin]

Long version:

Gentlemen of NPF (and ladies too, your input is always valued), I come before you a man with greater aspirations of dapperness and handsome-osity. You see, on April 9th I will be attending my faculty's grad formal. All the cool teacher candidates will be there, the girl of my dreams included (I'm going with her, actually). What I want to do is cut a striking figure in both dress and demeanour. Given my upbringing, proper manners are pretty much second nature, so I'm not too worried about that. It's the dress that concerns me.

I have, in my closet: a grey fedora, a lavishly-decorated top hat, a vest that fits me (yet is a relic from my late childhood, so I don't know if it fits fits me), a number of ties, and a white dress shirt that requires cufflinks (which I also have).

I plan to hit up a local men's store to get anything else I require, but that's the trouble. I don't quite know how to look dapper and suave, so I don't know what to look for in order to do so. I'm a jeans-and-t-shirt kinda guy on any given day, with shorts standing in during the summer months. I have an amorphous beard, the shape of which never seems to match the rest of my face and works in tandem with my hair (which needs a trim) to throw everything off. I also have this terrible tendency to lean toward extravagance and go overboard (it's the latent showman in me), but I will not be doing that for this function as it would probably be an embarassment to my ladyfriend or some kind of hindrance to my totally gettin' with her (probably both!)

So, I need help. Gentlemen, how do I bring sexy back?


NOTE BESIDE: I should mention that she has brought up the idea (and is totally down with) coordinating outfits. There are three of us: myself, the lady, and a buddy of ours from the faculty (he and I are total bros). I need to see if she has any ideas, but if nothing comes up soon I'm flying solo in the outfit department. She sounded excited when I mentioned myself dressing up as a pimp, so I'm not sure how to go from there. :P

Also, some background info on her, I guess. She knows I'm into her (or should at least, when I explicitly told her after she declined my offer to go out). We're still good friends, so she isn't totally offended by me. We spent an awful lot of time together this past semester, so that's strikes me as a good sign. My friend (our third member) knows I'm into her, and he's been trying to help out where he can. I liken him to a very capable aide, but I don't want him doing the legwork. I have to earn this!

I'm chiefly concerned with how to act around her (aside from normally), I suppose. Like, do I get her a corsage? Should I, even though this isn't a date? I kinda want to, but I don't want to scare her off. Do I go to her house rather than have her drive up to mine? She's closer to the formal's location, and I honestly don't mind looking so damn fine on the city bus to meet up with her. Would it be bad form to drop in and potentially make her feel like she has to rush to get ready? Questions abound!

It's just that this whole thing is new to me. I want to do things right. She's really cool and I don't want to mess things up. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was in love. :P

[Azisien]

Do it.

If you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly.

[McTahr]

In terms of coordinating outfits: don't match the suit, match the accessories. Pair up the tie and kerchief. Plain matching suit jacket/pants is best, blazer and relatively similar colored pants at least. Tux is obviously overboard. Vest makes you look like a goof for generic formal functions. Fedora should match if you wear it at all, I honestly would not.

Cut your hair. Shave. Shave or I will cut you.

If you do full-on coordinating outfits, a shirt that is a shade or two off from the tie/kerchief is fine. Ideally you don't want them identical or too close.

If you don't coordinate, a nice black/red contrast is standard fare and red is generally a favorable color for attraction. Science says so.

No corsage unless she brings up the potential idea of flowers. It's suggestive and forward.

Suggest the idea of carpooling. Include your friend. Don't make it a date, she's already turned you down once, no sense making her uncomfortable.

And good luck!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Go naked. It'll work. Guaranteed

[Krylo]

she declined my offer to go outOnly important sentence.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

But he wasn't naked at the time.
I'm assuming.

[rpgdemon]

I personally go with a deep purple vest, whenever I need to look my classiest.

[TopHatAssassin]

If you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly.

I would, but teddybears don't get laid. :P

In terms of coordinating outfits: don't match the suit, match the accessories. Pair up the tie and kerchief. Plain matching suit jacket/pants is best, blazer and relatively similar colored pants at least. Tux is obviously overboard. Vest makes you look like a goof for generic formal functions. Fedora should match if you wear it at all, I honestly would not.


Could I forgo a jacket entirely? It seems doable in my mind, but that's a far cry from how it would actually look in practice. It seems like you'd need something up top to make the whole thing look more balanced (even suspenders, an item which my friend has acquired and will be wearing). Same goes for the hat; I think I could pull it off, but I'm not sure.

a nice black/red contrast is standard fare

This sounds exceptionally awesome, and I will endeavour to acquire a red shirt.

No corsage unless she brings up the potential idea of flowers. It's suggestive and forward.

Suggest the idea of carpooling. Include your friend. Don't make it a date, she's already turned you down once, no sense making her uncomfortable.

Duly noted. Our plan is actually to carpool, which works out rather nicely.

Go naked. It'll work. Guaranteed

It's a bit too cold still for that. Something to consider, though.


she declined my offer to go out

Only important sentence.

I'm nothing if not stubborn!

I personally go with a deep purple vest, whenever I need to look my classiest.

School colour, too!

I'm seeing gradients in my future.

[Bobbey]

I agree about wearing some form of clothing that is red (preferably a tie). Red is a very attractive color and is usually associated with power, a trait that attracts many women.
How long is your beard? If it's a long beard (more than two inches or somewhat) I'd recommend shaving, but not necessarily completely. If you can have that ''two day'' beard look (I think you might understand what I mean), that also looks very good and distinguished. Also, good shoes are a plus, but maybe that's only just me.

As for her declining your first offer but still hanging out with you, I'd say there still might be something there, but I'm really talking out of personal experience here. A few years ago I was really into this guy in one of my bands, so I decided to ask him out. It didn't turn out so well since not only he declined but he stopped talking to me on msn for about a week, which felt weird because we used to talk to each other each day and see each other at least once a week for rehearsals. We still hanged out afterwards and two months later, he had changed his mind. Even though we're not together anymore, we still talk almost everyday and we both have a boyfriend/girlfriend as well. So, what I'm saying is, tread the water carefully: she knows how you feel about her, now you have to wait and see if she'll take action to show how exactly she feels about you.

[rpgdemon]

I think the main thing is, just try to look good, and if you do something unconventional, either go with it fully, or don't do it at all. You can't show up jacketless, then be, "Oh, yeah, sorry, I blah blah blah", or show up with a hat, then quickly discard it.

I've taken to wearing any one of a number of hats around, for the past year or two, and they are all excellent.

[Darth SS]

So, wait, is this tuxedo or suit? And if it's suit, is it business jacket or dinner jacket? Trust me, the difference matters.


There's two ways you can approach these, I'll break them down independently.

Business Suit: Stylish with a business suit is to be simple. No one walks into a meeting with something that grabs the eye. Your jacket should be 1 of 3 colours. Black. Navy. Grey. I keep four business jackets in my closet, and in a pitch I can use alternate pants to make it works. I've also got a dinner jacket, but it is woefully misused.

1) Muted colours always look good. Ideally your clothes make you look good but leave the focus entirely on your face. The stereotypical look for business suits is a bit of a wider, more "loose" jacket with a wide tie, to which I say FUCK THAT. Retro is in right now. Seriously, to nail business meetings go and watch Mad Men. Not only does channeling Don Draper help you bag ladies, there's is no denying that the staff at AMC turned Jon Hamm into a stylish motherfucker. Alternatively, Lee Pace in Pushing Daisies whilst suited was another good one to copy. You want a skinny tie, and you want a slimmer cut of jacket. White shirt underneath, because white is as unnoticeable as possible, your tie is what you will play with. If you have a navy jacket, your shirt may be blue. No pocket square, black shoes, your watch is brown leather and innocuous. Your tie is to be coloured, but otherwise unnoticeable. If it is striped, it sure as god better not be bright, and one of those colours better be dark.

2) You want the same styled cut as before, but to give you an example you want more of an Ocean's 11 style. Personally, I use this sparingly in business situations You want colour here. Watch is unnecessary, shoes can be black or brown. Your jacket and pants don't have to coordinate. However, your jacket and pants should be variations on the same theme. I.E. Grey jacket black pants. Your tie should be matched to a pocket square, the simplest method is to have a tie and pocket square that are the same colour, ideally a very bright colour. I've got with white shirt, grey jacket, black pants, bright green tie/pocket square before.

Dinner Suit:

Actually pretty much the same. The jacket is just cut wider, three pieces are more common, and having more elaborate pocket squares is more common. The biggest difference is really just the jacket.


EDIT: Also, you want to be the beau of the ball. Not the belle. Belle is feminine.

[Krylo]

Also, you want to be the beau of the ball.

Not necessarily.

Maybe she turned him down the first time because she's into the ladies?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I don't recommend either a business suit or a dinner suit or a tux to a prom unless you want to look like a massive nerd who is trying way too hard.
Start with say the base outline of a dinner suit and just change a couple of things, depends on your body shape really how you do this, like I have quite fine features so I get fome feminine cut jackets . DOn't go wacky crazy, unless you want to, but just a few small changes makes you not look like everybody else who went to the suit shop and just got off the rack.

[CelesJessa]

I don't recommend either a business suit or a dinner suit or a tux to a prom unless you want to look like a massive nerd who is trying way too hard.

I dunno, around here it's pretty much expected for guys to wear a tux to the prom. Unless things have changed since I was in high school.

Just find out what the other dudes are wearing. Accessorize subtly to match her accordingly and you'll be good to go. Proms are more for the ladies to dress up.

[McTahr]

If we're talking prom and he wants to look respectable, it's tux all the way.

Since he said formal I'm assuming it's more of a social deal and less of an event-ajig, and thus less need to mess with tux rental/ownership and the like. He can get away with a semi-nice suit, or even just matching blazer.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Compeltely different where I live, tux is basically the default and is a sign that you really have no flair or style. Stay with the formal attire so you look respectable but you gotta customise.
Tuxes are pretty baseline respectable wher eI'm from. Like you're not a hobo but you're not a super sweet gentleman rocking the chicks either.
Also living in Scotland teaches me that formal wear also covers a kilt. Get that and if they don't let you in just claim discrimination. Also means you get to carry a knife around.

Regardless of what you do. Ghet nice shoes. People forget about shoes.

[Kim]

You live on the goddamn moon or some shit. I'm pretty sure the OP doesn't live on the moon.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

He could live on the moon.... I'm so lonely :(

[TopHatAssassin]

Some days I feel like I'm on the moon. Does that count?

I've been toying with the idea of a tux, but it smacks of fanciness at too high a calibre for a group of teacher candidates to be rockin' at a social function where all we're gonna do is dance and drink. I do want to look respectable, but not like I should be at an extravagant dinner-dance function. It is a formal full of professionals, but I don't see nothin' wrong with a little bump 'n' grind.

Dinner jackets are looking pretty nice. I know, it kind of contradicts my previous point about tuxes, but I donno. I suppose it's a matter of "How do I look good without looking goofy, and how do I so do so on a student budget?"

I'm tempted to do my little turn on the catwalk for you guys and parade the things I've got so far. It seems like it'd be easier.

Also hey, I've got a pocketwatch.

Also, you want to be the beau of the ball. Not the belle. Belle is feminine.

I've had Rush Hour 2 on the brain lately.

[Token]

Tux is normal in the states, but we aren't exactly known for our class. I did the top hat thing last year, with a purple vest and accessories, and, despite what my dad said, I don't regret it at all. General consensus was that it was pretty dapper (which was negated by the fact that my friend and I were the only gay couple dancing, despite my date's wishes. )

[pochercoaster]

Do this.

http://img810.imageshack.us/img810/3453/mamorutuxedomask.jpg

Chicks love it when you call them meatball head.