My Tesla Tank is Having problems

[Bells]

So, maybe one of you guys can help me out with my Tesla Tank?

Now, you see, it's a Pre-owned 2009 model, good condition, i thought i had a pretty good deal coming out of the Lot. The Tank Thread are fine. All titanium Screws (with the rubber cover for no extra charge!) thin g works like a beauty.

Now, today i went for a spin, you know, check the borders patrol the perimeter... that stuff. But the engine is chugging!

I Checked the primary battery, the secondary Lithium battery, the support Iodine Arm handler (you know, that Triangle Shapped thingy above the Lithium battery, the one that comes with the new models).

it feels like a small "kick" forward every time i push the engine beyond 60% thrust. The Tesla capacitor seem fine. Although i DID had to change one, cause the Copper was wearied down quite a bit. The other one was fine though!

Other thing i noticed... i took it for a firing Test... now the Mega Charger goes to 100% in 15 sec. Flat, Amazing stuff! When i fire the main cannon on Blast Mode, i get a decent 50 yrd Burst At 100% power Thats 10 Gigajoules of Eletric Blasting power right there.

But when i change over to Beam Mode, i get a decent boost of a constant Stream at 75 yrds, but The Battery Goes to below 60% in just 7 seconds and i'm only pulling 7 Gigajoules out of that.... i dunno, doesn't feel right.

So, any thoughts?!

[TDK]

I give your technobabble a B-.

[Bells]

Well, i thought that going full technobabble would turn away some of the less Technogeeks around here, but it still doesn't help mah Tesla tanks to getz movin!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Turn everything off, wait a minute, turn it back on again. nub

[shiney]

IS THE DEVICE PLUGGED IN

PLEASE ENSURE THE DEVICE IS PLUGGED IN TO THE WALL

BATTERY POWER? NO NO, CHECK THE CORDS

[Mr.Bookworm]

Hm, I checked the owner's manual and couldn't find anything, and Google didn't help either.

I only have limited experience with Tesla Tanks, because I drive an Apocalypse (horrible gas mileage, but really helps in heavy traffic), but I would guess after talking to a friend of mine who has one that your problem is probably the Americans sending someone back in time to sabotage your tank.

Have Stalin get together a kill team and send them back to check it out, then turn it off, plug everything back in, and restart.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

LOLOLOLOLOLOL I already told him how to fix it guys. Lrn 2 read

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Did you drop it in a lake recently?

[Aldurin]

Drive in the following formation to jailbreak it and disable the programs that make it run bad enough that you'd probably buy the newest one.

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, Start.

[bluestarultor]

Drive in the following formation to jailbreak it and disable the programs that make it run bad enough that you'd probably buy the newest one.

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, Start.

Remember to pull a reverse to get the cross bar on the A. Start has to be done in Vladimir Script and all lowercase so it's connected.

[Melfice]

All good suggestions (except for the stupid ones).

Here's the solution to your problem. 85% of the time, it's because of the operating programs' failure to relay the information to the relevant systems.
Pull out the cartridges and blow on the connectors. It may take you a couple of tries, but it should fix it up. If that doesn't work, try Smarty's suggestion.

If the problems still persist afterwards you're in more trouble than just a lower output of your power plant to the weapons system. You'll have to replace the micro-conductors, and that's one hell of a job, since you need to get under the back-up condensers and amplifiers. They're extremely fragile in your model of Tesla Tank, and there's a great risk that you'll destroy the amplifiers and severely damage the condensers.
Fixing one thing, while destroying two more.

Good luck!

[Loyal]

Now see if you had bought a mid-1940s-Model TT, this would never have happened.

[Aerozord]

So, any thoughts?!

get something thats not soviet you commie scum :argh:

[mauve]

Check the parking brake.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Call tech support!

[Bells]

wow, alright let's see

Turn everything off, wait a minute, turn it back on again. nub

That's... well... no, it's a tesla Tank!! It got to be a Mechanical issue, not a Eletrical one!

IS THE DEVICE PLUGGED IN

PLEASE ENSURE THE DEVICE IS PLUGGED IN TO THE WALL

BATTERY POWER? NO NO, CHECK THE CORDS

HAH! In your face! I didn't get the Cords, i chose the Copper Wire Relay Heat sinkers!Ppure 1,7in thick copper, better conduction and it extends my mileage!

Have Stalin get together a kill team and send them back to check it out, then turn it off, plug everything back in, and restart.

Marines Sappin mah Tesla?!

Did you drop it in a lake recently?

uuuuh.... i did took it for a spin while checking a Marsh, 2 clicks away from town. There was a light rain at that day... but i did pay for the Anti-rust!!

Drive in the following formation to jailbreak it and disable the programs that make it run bad enough that you'd probably buy the newest one.

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, Start.

Remember to pull a reverse to get the cross bar on the A. Start has to be done in Vladimir Script and all lowercase so it's connected.

that.... that opened the cup holders, what the hell?

Also, Sweet! Cup Holders!

If the problems still persist afterwards you're in more trouble than just a lower output of your power plant to the weapons system. You'll have to replace the micro-conductors, and that's one hell of a job, since you need to get under the back-up condensers and amplifiers. They're extremely fragile in your model of Tesla Tank, and there's a great risk that you'll destroy the amplifiers and severely damage the condensers.
Fixing one thing, while destroying two more.

Well, what would you know... there it was! I had to mess around with the Micro-conductors... but now my Plasma Capacitor Reflux turned from Blue to orange... is that bad?

Now see if you had bought a mid-1940s-Model TT, this would never have happened.

What? With those Front Grills? Fuck no!! My Model has rims man! They be spinning while threading!

[Kerensky287]

Tesla Tanks are a waste of cash. Several hundred credits more for something that does the same job as your standard Rhino or Hammer tank? No thanks.

But as for your problems, check your base's power output. I haven't seen the 2009 edition but I remember hearing that Townes' new Laser Crusaders are linked into the central power supply, and the newer generations of Tesla Tanks might have adapted that (unusual) approach.

Hope this helps. And geez man, save up for a nice Apocalypse or Kirov next time.

[TDK]

Well, what would you know... there it was! I had to mess around with the Micro-conductors... but now my Plasma Capacitor Reflux turned from Blue to orange... is that bad?

Yes, it means the plasma is colder. You are going to die.

[Melfice]

Well, what would you know... there it was! I had to mess around with the Micro-conductors... but now my Plasma Capacitor Reflux turned from Blue to orange... is that bad?

Well, that should only happen when your main condensers are off, and then your back-ups fail. Which means you've been running on the back-ups in the first place.
Which you probably just damaged by fixing the micro-conductors.

Also, yeah. Run. It's gonna blow. Probably take out an entire city with it.

If you'd just taken it to Silesius Tesla and Tanks, a subsidiary of Silesius Industries (itself a subsidiary of Silesius Corporations), we'd have fixed it for you (at a modest fee).
But no, you HAD to buy a pre-owned 2009 model, you HAD to take it for a run without checking everything and you HAD to fix it yourself.

[Loyal]

Tesla Tanks are a waste of cash. Several hundred credits more for something that does the same job as your standard Rhino or Hammer tank? No thanks.

But as for your problems, check your base's power output. I haven't seen the 2009 edition but I remember hearing that Townes' new Laser Crusaders are linked into the central power supply, and the newer generations of Tesla Tanks might have adapted that (unusual) approach.

Hope this helps. And geez man, save up for a nice Apocalypse or Kirov next time.

I'm sorry, but do your Heavy tanks shoot out lances of pure electric death? Do your Rhino tanks fire over walls? Do your Hammer tanks bring all the terror of a Tesla Coil without the power drain and lack of mobility? That kind of gratification simply cannot be bought with money, but the Tesla Tank makes a noble effort of it!

But no, you HAD to buy a pre-owned 2009 model, you HAD to take it for a run without checking everything and you HAD to fix it yourself.

Again, this'd never have happened if he'd just gone with the 1940 Model.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Guys guys guys, we all know the Prism Tank is far superior to either conventional ballistics OR electrical death tanks. I mean how else are you gona take out multiple targets with a single shot, over extreme range and through walls? Everyone knows high energy lasers are the best.

[Kerensky287]

I'm sorry, but do your Heavy tanks shoot out lances of pure electric death? Do your Rhino tanks fire over walls? Do your Hammer tanks bring all the terror of a Tesla Coil without the power drain and lack of mobility? That kind of gratification simply cannot be bought with money, but the Tesla Tank makes a noble effort of it!

No, no, and kinda. Hammer Tank leech beams DO have ludicrous range, and if I get access to your frilly little T-tank, I can chew off your gun and stick it on my own turret mid-combat. It's a little something I like to call having your cake and eating it too.

And geez, nobody uses walls anymore. If walls are seriously a problem for you then you should've invested in an Apoc anyway. Those things drive straight over 'em, and the newest model has a magnetic harpoon standard.

Guys guys guys, we all know the Prism Tank is far superior to either conventional ballistics OR electrical death tanks. I mean how else are you gona take out multiple targets with a single shot, over extreme range and through walls? Everyone knows high energy lasers are the best.

Pfff. Welcome to 1969. The Prism Tank was phased out YEARS ago in favor of the prism-mounted Mirage Tank. Less range, but now it's cloaked.

Of course, I've always been more of an Allied Airforce (http://www.moddb.com/mods/red-alert-3-paradox/videos/allied-fixed-wing-aircraft-preview#imagebox) guy myself.

[RobinStarwing]

Eh, I prefer my Mammoth Mk. 2 to your pansy Soviet and Allied garbage.

I also own a wonderful Madcat! Even let my cat drive it!
http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/5230/633606383285806868madca.jpg

[batgirl]

I recently read an article that said that there's a recall on the Beam alternators, that might be your problem. Apparently when switching to beam mode, there is a significant battery power loss due to some turbine issues.

Send the alternator back to Toyota and they'll send you a new one.

[Loyal]

No, no, and kinda. Hammer Tank leech beams DO have ludicrous range, and if I get access to your frilly little T-tank, I can chew off your gun and stick it on my own turret mid-combat. It's a little something I like to call having your cake and eating it too.

And geez, nobody uses walls anymore. If walls are seriously a problem for you then you should've invested in an Apoc anyway. Those things drive straight over 'em, and the newest model has a magnetic harpoon standard.I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of all of Comrade Stalin's wonderful gifts. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chhBaQ1XpqI)

Eh, I prefer my Mammoth Mk. 2 to your pansy Soviet and Allied garbage.Alright, now THAT? That is a waste of cash.

[Kerensky287]

(Man, RA: APB is an absolutely fantastic mod.)

How DARE you bring that golden calf Mammoth bullcrap into the house of Lenin!

...They have no mileage whatsoever and maintenance is a bitch to pay for.

You think gas prices are bad? At least you don't run on giant robot legs.