Europe bound

[CABAL49]

I just finished telling my parents and friends and now I am telling you fine gents. Today I got an email with this nice message, "The main office for the North Carolina-Baden-Württemberg exchange in Mannheim, has placed you in Tuebingen." :dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:

Tübingen is a lovely town south of Stuttgart, Germany. While I still have tons of paper work to fill out, it is not as much to get where I am today. So prepare yourself Europe, for the terror that is I! I plan to drink all your coffee, ride your trains and attend your museums!

[Osterbaum]

So when are you doing this exchange program and for how long?

[A Zarkin' Frood]

If I weren't so far away from Tübingen I'd totally get that cookie avatar back and say we cookie bros should hook up some time.

And uh... enjoy those trains.

[CABAL49]

I am signed up to go to the upcoming Wintersemester, but I'll be there for both semesters. But I plan to go everywhere I can. France, Denmark, Turkey.

Where the best cookies in Germany are is where we shall meet!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Tubingen is the world capital of tubes. True fact.

[Meister]

south of Stuttgart, Germany
I'm so sorry.

[Osterbaum]

I'm actually spending an exchange year in Madrid next acedemic year. Feel free to visit there aswell if you want to.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I got heaps of friends in Madrid. If I see you on the street I'll start a rumble.

[Osterbaum]

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEE

[Melfice]

I am signed up to go to the upcoming Wintersemester, but I'll be there for both semesters. But I plan to go everywhere I can. France, Denmark, Turkey.

Where the best cookies in Germany are is where we shall meet!

Fact: All those countries are decidedly inferior to the Netherlands.

France? Pshh... we've got croissants as well.
Denmark? We've got the biggest LEGO convention of Europe (and possibly the world), so no need to go to Denmark.
Turkey? ... uh... A fairly large portion of our population consists of Turkish immigrants?

Germany? Meister and InsaneGenius live there. I live in the Netherlands. Easy choice!

[Krylo]

Fact: All those countries are decidedly inferior to the Netherlands.

France? Pshh... we've got croissants as well.
Denmark? We've got the biggest LEGO convention of Europe (and possibly the world), so no need to go to Denmark.
Turkey? ... uh... A fairly large portion of our population consists of Turkish immigrants?

Germany? Meister and InsaneGenius live there. I live in the Netherlands. Easy choice!

So you're saying he should go to... Russia? Sweden? Poland? Austria?

Wait, what's furthest from the Netherlands that's still actually Europe? Is Cyprus part of Europe? I wanna say it technically is?

Go to Cyprus.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

As long as it's not Naziland Beertopia (Germany) or that country where they speak some weird German pidgin (Netherlands) He should be okay actually.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I'm pretty sure Germany is actually WewereneverNaziland.

[Meister]

Germany is Don'tanyoneforgetwewereonceNaziland.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

More Don'teverforgetthatwewereonceahighlyspecificandhis toricallyinaccuratedepictionofNazisandifyouevereng ageindialogueaboutwhatweactuallywerewewillarrestyo uland

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Well hot damn, this gets more accurate by the minute.

[Melfice]

So you're saying he should go to... Russia? Sweden? Poland? Austria?

Wait, what's furthest from the Netherlands that's still actually Europe? Is Cyprus part of Europe? I wanna say it technically is?

Go to Cyprus.

You know what?
I don't care. 'Cause even if he does avoid the Netherlands (which is still the most bitchin' place in Europe), he'll never want to back to the US.

SCORE ONE FOR EUROPE!

that country where they speak some weird German pidgin (Netherlands) He should be okay actually.

German pidgin, you say.
But at least it's a far easier language to learn! OH-HO!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

You know what?
I don't care. 'Cause even if he does avoid the Netherlands (which is still the most bitchin' place in Europe), he'll never want to back to the US.

SCORE ONE FOR EUROPE!


As someone not born in Europe who now lives in Europe, there is no way this is true. Unless he comes from like Sudan or something. Notice how the modern histry of world is basically Europeans trying to leave Europe. There is a reason for that.

[Osterbaum]

Netherlands: Legal marijuana. I think that's an automatic win.

[Meister]

Yeah but come to Berlin where it might not be legal but also no one gives a shit.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Come to Scotland, the police will beat you up then take it for their own use.

[Osterbaum]

Come to Finland and have a hell of a hard time aquiring any to begin with.

[Archbio]

What did the berserkers use to take?

I'll have some of that.

[CABAL49]

You know what?
I don't care. 'Cause even if he does avoid the Netherlands (which is still the most bitchin' place in Europe), he'll never want to back to the US.

SCORE ONE FOR EUROPE!

Actually I plan to apply for the JET program after I graduate and be an assistant English Teacher for a bit because I study German and Japanese. But still not the United States? Eventually I plan to learn Italian so I can be my own Axis power.

Denmark and France are a must because I promised internationals who studied at my University that I would visit them. Turkey is a must because I am a coffee fanatic and it is the closest I will get to Middle Eastern coffee without blowing the rest of my money.

A friend of mine is going to study in Berlin and I cannot visit Germany without visiting Berlin so I will go see her at some point. My brother is going to be stationed at Vilsec so I would have to go there. Other than that I plan to walk around Europe and astonish the people that there is an American who can place their country on a map.

What did the berserkers use to take?

I'll have some of that.

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanita_muscaria)

[Osterbaum]

Better work on your geography then.

[CABAL49]

I am a Political Science Major. I can put any country on a map and tell you why it is not important.

[Osterbaum]

Okay, cool. Tell me why Finland is unimportant.

e: come one, I dare you! I double dare you!

[CABAL49]

You have a very generic National Anthem, your police seem to enjoy rounding up Romanians (who hasn't done that before), one of your great historical achievements will be forgotten due to a spelling error, and the only recent headlines I can find about Finland is how you are trying to combat smoking. Your country specializes in Information Technologies but isn't as well known for it as your neighbors. For the most part Finland seems uninterested in the world around it, entering the EU because it was the thing to do. Nothing really bad happens to you, but nothing really that great happens to you either.

Edit: For the record you did dare me, and I did hold back.

[CABAL49]

So tomorrow is the big day. After tomorrow I will be all Deutsch Sprechen.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Go to Malta.
Join Knights of Malta.
Be Hospitaller.

[CABAL49]

Go to Malta.
Join Knights of Malta.
Be Hospitaller.

Aren't they the Knights of St. John? And in Italy?

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Aren't they the Knights of St. John? And in Italy?
St. John was their patron saint, their full title was "The Knights of the Order of St. John of Jerusalem". But bear in mine that's the title of "The Knights of the Order", the Order itself was the Hospitaller. As the name might imply, they started out managing what amounted to hospitals and rest areas for pilgrims during the Crusades. From there they began acting to protect pilgrims during their travels, and then expanded into becoming a full military order.

Then the order faffed about for a bit.

Eventually however they were given dominion over Acre, which would be the last crusader city in the Kingdom of Jerusalem to fall. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Acre_(1291)) From there they would move to Cyprus temporarily, and then on to siege the island of Rhodes. Following a two year campaign they captured Rhodes from the Byzantium and got a new name. During this period you could call them "Knights Hospitaller", "Knights of St. John" or "Knights of Rhodes" and be equally correct.

During this period with no pilgrims to care for or protect they became far more militarized, and mainly participated in suppression of pirates and raiding parties from nations unfriendly to the European kingdoms.

The knights promptly faffed about for a bit.

Eventually the Byzantium emperor kicked them back out (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Rhodes_(1522)) and the knights once again retreated. This time to Sicily, and during this period they wandered Europe for a while until the King of Spain offered them Malta. Once settled in, as before they adopted the name of the land. So "Knights of Malta."

Much as before they fought the Barbary Pirates and any other enemies they could, and faffed about.

Yadda yadda skip a bit whatever. Eventually, they accepted a request from then Emperor of France Napoleon Bonaparte to take refuge in their harbor on Malta.
As it turns out, this was kind of a mistake. I don't really know if you're aware, but Napoleon was kind of a dick.
Because the Knights refused a request for their extra stores of water, he sent troops to invade their fortress. The order promptly surrendered.

To be fair, they did have a thing about not fighting Christians, so that might have been part of why they didn't smack him around a bit. Regardless, the Grand Master was disgraced and resigned. Shit went bad, they had holdings across various European countries, but no headquarters or leader.

Thus, the order faffed about for a bit. Until a new Grand Master was appointed by the Pope. With this new Grand Master, they adopted a new name: "Sovereign Military Order of Malta"
or more officially "The Sovereign Military Hospitaller Order of Saint John of Jerusalem of Rhodes and of Malta"

Quite recently, the Island of Malta has allowed the order to regain control of their fort there. So, the closest thing to the Hospitaller order is the Order of the Knights of Malta. And their only Maltese holding is that fort.

[CABAL49]

Anyways. I am in Germany. Wooooo

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I can't wait till you start hating it here.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Anyways. I am in Germany. Wooooo

Beer.
Get lots and lots of beer.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

Beer.
Get lots and lots of beer.

In a boot. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boot_of_beer)

[CABAL49]

I can't wait till you start hating it here.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR KEYBOARDS! EVERYTHING IS WRONG!

In a boot. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boot_of_beer)

I can buy a bunch of boots next door.