Please stop saying ignorant things

[Kim]

I don't see how or why people suddenly developed this insistence that they have the right to not be offended.

Then why can't I be a dick in these threads?

It's not like anyone here has a right to not be offended.

Hell, Fenris has stated outright that he thinks me and Fifth come off as angrier/meaning than we intend. Since intent is all that matters, by your own admission, it isn't the content of my posts that matters, but what I meant by them.

Sorry Non but I mean you make this thread, take it to discussion, then someone says "I use words because they are words" and you say "but those words hurt me" and it disregards the delivery and the message itself, in that they are just words. You choose to be offended by something that can be deemed harmful, but it is based on the intent of the speaker as to whether or not it should be harmful. You're creating a situation where none needs to exist.

Someone used the word faggot around me.

For obvious reasons, I didn't like this, what with being gay and all.

They didn't use it at me. They weren't trying to offend me. They didn't even mean gay people when they said it. I was still offended, because it's often used in an offensive way and has been used to oppress gays.

You are arguing that I am wrong to be offended when someone uses an offensive word like faggot around me.

I cannot view this belief as anything but ignorant.

Sorry to drag that up like half a page later but I mean seriously. He said abnormal meaning "not normal" meaning "in the minority" -- not "totally weird".

It's not the literal meaning. It's the connotation. Normal in reference to cis-folks marginalized non-cis people by implying they're abnormal. There are many meanings to abnormal, but the connotations of what you say are important as well. Once again, we return to the usage of the word faggot or the fact that Fifth and I often don't mean to be as mean as you consider us.

And you're flipping out based on a misinterpretation in a discussion you created yourself. That's like saying "Ha I can't be hit by bullets WAIT STOP SHOOTING AT ME"

I don't even know what the fuck this is supposed to mean. Seriously. Not joking. I don't get it.

Also, here's the important thing. White people, they have a lot of rights and privileges people of color don't. Straight people, they have a lot of rights and privileges non-straight people don't. Cis people, they have a lot of rights and privileges non-cis people don't. When you have rights and privileges and conveniences another group does not, the right thing to do, the thing that most decent people would do, is take the feelings of those who aren't privileged in the same way they are into consideration. "I may not find this word offensive but it offends them. Perhaps I should not use it around them or in instances where it would offend them. After all, society already benefits me. It costs me little to make a small effort to change the words I use in certain instances to spare the feelings of another."


Of course, based on your current argument, you can let a bunch of assholes into the forums who are going to use the n-word in reference to black people all over the place but it'll be okay cuz "they didn't mean it in a bad way."

[shiney]

For my part, I will admit in retrospect that a fair portion of my post was made with my head stuck firmly between my asscheeks.

For your part, you have a problem with staying calm and respectful, and the title of this very thread displays that point yet again.

Edit: I mean seriously. I am going to go off a little here (edit edit, a lot as it turns out), and not about the subject of the previous thread. At which point do you, Non, just sit down and think "Is this really worth going off about?" At what point do you reflect on your years of membership here, the tolerance of the staff toward these continued shenanigans, and think "Perhaps I should step back" or, god forbid, "The other person I am conversing with has a point, and even if I personally find that point to be tasteless, I should probably just ignore it instead of making the situation worse". At LEAST reporting the post instead of jumping straight to ragehate.

Granted, my point toward "He didn't MEAN it to be rude!" was tasteless in itself. I can accept I made a dipshit post and I am sorry for it. I should have thought more about what I was saying when I was saying it. Okay, fine, you make a new thread. I can look past that as you didn't have a chance to respond to my idiocy. But then, happy magic time! Thread title: direct insult. WOW. Before I even got inside the thread I was already annoyed. Didn't even wait until we got to the meat of the post before you were already being Non? You've had this happen so many times, at what point do you learn? I'm sorry bud but I mean, my mods are sick of having to deal with this, we're tired of banning you for 5-10 days when you go apeshit over the Next Big Thing relating to your gender perception differences or whatever your next tantrum is about. I'm tired of seeing and hearing about it. This whole thing could have been largely avoided if you had said "I'm sorry but your usage of the term 'abnormal' affects me in a way that feels belittling" and then if you'd been ignored or further belittled, bam, reported post, and you're justified. Instead you went straight to FFFFUUUUUU and now here we are with two locked threads, a ban, and probably resentment on your part. And the mods have to think "Non did it again and now we're annoyed again.

Obviously, as you've not been permanently banned, you should glean that you are a welcomed member of the NPF community. Hard though it may be to believe at times, we don't mind having you around here. But you just HAVE to quit doing this. At some point it becomes time to grow up and become a goddamned adult, and part of that is taking things with a grain of salt, or following established procedures to document your objection. Throwing a tantrum that makes me think of my three year old son when he doesn't get his way is not the right path. And that needs to stop because I, personally, am tired of it. And this will be the last I have to say on this type of matter publicly because my patience with you is very close to its end. You make a LOT of good points in a LOT of good threads, and yet when I think "NonCon" I think "histrionic and argumentative" because it's what I end up having to deal with in the vast majority of your membership here.

Please exercise a little maturity when you return. If you wish to discuss this further, I am available via PM. If you don't feel comfortable discussing this with me via PM, please feel free to contact another mod or admin. I don't want bad blood on this forum, either between mod staff and user or between users, but the only way to ensure that is through calm and rational discussion.

Edit edit, edit...I keep re-reading the thread, and I keep rethinking what I'm saying above. You weren't the only problem in that thread, to begin with, but from what I can see you were the only person intent on turning it into an argument. You're really sensitive, right? I mean it's pretty clear. Don't take things so personally. What you perceive as an attack on you as a person may just be someone using a poor choice of words, or even speaking as to their perception. Perception is a tricky thing, and what may seem insensitive to you may simply seem scientific or direct to someone else. Not everything is an attack, even if you were offended by it, and it would do you well to remember this. You weren't actually CALLED a faggot, you used this as an example, but that is a purposefully derogatory term as opposed to the usage of the word 'abnormal' which is not intentionally hurtful. In any case I don't think anyone has it out for you now, or had it out for you then, but you did a good job of making yourself a target. :/