The "my future presidential run is forever jeopardized because..." thread

[Bob The Mercenary]

Who on this forum would you say is, thanks to their past rants and scandalous photos, least likely to ever be voted into political office?

Keep in mind presidential disqualification can come in many flavors, from unintended racism, to willful ignorance, to a latent yet promiscuous obsession with ponies. Also, I realize not all of us are 'mericans, so just mold the term "presidential" to fit your locale.

[Jagos]

Well, Obama got elected so the only other reason I wouldn't be elected is because I'm too radical for my own good. I'd be firing people from bureacratic USA left and right, making more enemies as the budget deficit actually got smaller from firing the likes of Napolitano, Pistole, Morton, Espinel, Rove, Clinton, Clinton, Bush Jr., Cheney (I'd fire him twice), and any other person in a high position of power who thinks they're too big to fail.

[Nikose Tyris]

I have done nothing that I could not cover with money; therefore I am completely capable as a presidential candidate.

Fenris would have troubles, what with all the photographs of him in Tijuana, doing lines of strippers off a coke's ass.

[Jagos]

Are you talking about the guy stripper or the hairy ass stripper?

[Fifthfiend]

I have moral values and don't enjoy hurting people for the sake of demonstrating that I enjoy hurting people.

[Nikose Tyris]

Are you talking about the guy stripper or the hairy ass stripper?

You are talking about the same strippers. I still am unsure of the physics of so many strippers on one coke.

[Overcast]

I'd do great in politics if I could avoid my homosexuality. Other than that, I have a short cropped haircut. Business looking. I have lived my life in a bland, uncontroversial, and repressed manner that is almost unnatural. I have a sociopathic narccisim that makes me think I should be in charge of everyone so I can stand behind my points. I am serving a minimum military term. I don't make real friends or keep the kinds I might mistake as such, but I can come off making people feel warm.

I am the evil that populates your senate. I just need a fake attractive yet accessible wife and a child I forced out of her.

[Bard The 5th LW]

I'm a bit of a narcissist and a layabout, but most people think the narcissist bit is a joke so I think I could totally pull it off.

[Fifthfiend]

I'd do great in politics if I could avoid my homosexuality. Other than that, I have a short cropped haircut. Business looking. I have lived my life in a bland, uncontroversial, and repressed manner that is almost unnatural. I have a sociopathic narccisim that makes me think I should be in charge of everyone so I can stand behind my points. I am serving a minimum military term. I don't make real friends or keep the kinds I might mistake as such, but I can come off making people feel warm.

I am the evil that populates your senate. I just need a fake attractive yet accessible wife and a child I forced out of her.

The Republican National Committee will find ones for you from whereever they recruit them for their other closet cases.

[Overcast]

http://files.sharenator.com/excellent_RE_Memebase_52-s438x438-192948.jpg

[Aldurin]

I would have rather gone for mad evil mad-scientist, but I may get more praise as President for flattening countries by a means and order I am not sure of yet.

But yeah, all I have to do is burn this forum and I get a clean record.

[Azisien]

Because I'm not born in the United States.

Oh wait, that didn't stop Obama! Har!

[Overcast]

You mean it didn't stop McCain, no one even asked about him not being born in the US. You just need to be white and served in the military with a really heart wrenching story.

[Jagos]

Wait, what? Seriously?

[Fifthfiend]

He was born in Panama.

On a US military base, but, yeah.

[Fenris]

Who on this forum would you say is, thanks to their past rants and scandalous photos, least likely to ever be voted into political office?

ITT Everybody nominates themselves for this position.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I'm a warmongering egomaniac with a penchant for elaborate schemes and gigantic sci-fi space lasers. I'm not sure if that works in my favour or not in this case....

Personally I'd probably just vote for Fifth, just to see what happens.

[Marc v4.0]

ITT Everybody nominates themselves for this position.

ITT: Why no one here should be allowed to vote OR run for office

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Marc should neither be allowed to vote or run for office because he's Marc.

[Krylo]

I have moral values and don't enjoy hurting people for the sake of demonstrating that I enjoy hurting people.

But a good spin team could make that look like a good thing!

[Osterbaum]

IG couldn't be allowed into office, because he's German and we all know what happens when we vote a German as führer president.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Hitler was Austrian. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

If you vote Germans you get a Kindergarten parliament. Trust me, I've seen it.

[Osterbaum]

Hitler was Austrian. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
IT'S A TRAP

Oh, I wasn't referring to Hitler. I was referring to Angela Merkel.

[Jagos]

IT'S A TRAP

Oh, I wasn't referring to Hitler. I was referring to Angela Merkel.

She's much better than the American political woman...

Michelle Bachmann

Sarah Palin

Hillary Clinton

Bill Clinton...

[A Zarkin' Frood]

IT'S A TRAP

Oh, I wasn't referring to Hitler. I was referring to Angela Merkel.

Angela Merkel is not president, she's chancellor. President is some other dude. I have to honestly say I don't know who's president now. It used to be Horst Köhler, but that dude is gone now and I didn't get around to memorizing the new guy's name yet. Of course the president in Germany is completely expendable. A brain dead monkey could do the job.

But okay, you win, since chancellor is probably the closest to a head of state we have, although I think the president is supposed to be that, but all he does is sit in his office and sign everything, and if he doesn't do it they'll just kick his ass outta there and let someone else do it.

Don't let Germans run for office. In fact, don't let Germans have a government.

[Seil]

Seilposting.

[Magus]

The American public doesn't seem interested in sacrificing their firstborn to Samhain, so I'm out.

That was my only platform.

[Pip Boy]

I think that disqualifies me from ever being president is that I've openly stated on multiple occasions that if I were to be come president I would herald in a dystopian apocalypse hellworld.

[Aldurin]

Will it be like Fallout? I'd be cool with that if you made America replicate Fallout.

[Pip Boy]

Well I'd probably make the rest of the world like Fallout and then China and Russia and all of those guys would make us like Fallout, but I suppose the end result is the same either way.

[Aldurin]

As long as you promise a pet deathclaw to every survivor as your campaign platform, I'm fine with it.

[CABAL49]

Don't let Germans run for office. In fact, don't let Germans have a government.

So when I head over to Germany in September, my complete conquest of your country is cool right? Cause I actually have a plan for it.

My German professor had us all write these essays and I got bored and wrote out a plan of world conquest starting with Germany. I have a few rough copies if you would like to see.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Nah, man. It's cool. Just do your thing. I like to be surprised.

[Kerensky287]

My future presidential run is forever jeopardized by the bloody violent killing spree I went on at some point before my presidential run.

Like, no, I haven't gone on a bloody violent killing spree, I'm just saying that I'd have to be crazy already before I tried to run for any political office.

[Aerozord]

He was born in Panama.

On a US military base, but, yeah.

Pretty sure that wouldn't disqualify you though, I think military bases are with embassies and territories that for political purposes, such as citizenship, they are American soil

now on topic, I'd say just about anyone thats ever gotten banned from the News/serious discussion forum. Normally this is because they make remarks that a particular group would find offensive, and we all know that nothing short of a sex scandal is more harmful to your political career.

[obscurejones]

I probably couldn't run because of bad posture.

[BitVyper]

I already served two terms, so they'd have to abolish term limits first.

[The SSB Intern]

I could never make it into the white house, as I have a wildly unkempt beard. This is both my appearance and my platform, and as such, I have no choice but to appoint Smarty as my VP. Disaster is ensured.

[Azisien]

I'm too honest for my own good and I'd let slip my plan to glass the planet with the nuclear stockpile! Why did I only get the annoying virtues?

[Premmy]

I wouldn't even try to lie about my abuse of presidential power to fuck everyone who know what that power was.