The Accomplishments of Humanity a.k.a. Your Generic NPF Thread of Stupid Things

[Aldurin]

This thread is if you find something that is so horribly stupid it argues in favor of anti-evolution or the like, post it here. It can be something you did, something someone you know did, something a random stranger did, or something a lot of people are doing. Hell, even if it's something you're planning to do.

Let's start with the second-to-last option.

Truck Nuts.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3207/3129536107_85674e5922.jpg

Seriously? It wasn't manly enough for them to just have a truck. They needed a truck with a ballsack hanging from the back of it.

This is the world our children will be raised in. A world where you will randomly find vehicles with genitalia accessories slapped all over them.

What sort of stupid have you been exposed to recently?

[EVILNess]

What sort of stupid have you been exposed to recently?

I work at Wal-mart. You do the math.

[Flarecobra]

I met someone who said Uwe Boll wasn't that bad a filmmaker.

[Darth SS]

I met someone who argued vehemently that 3.25% milk was not whole milk, and that rather whole milk must be 100%. Because 100 means whole, right?

Honorable mention: A girl I know (i hesitate to use the word 'friend') who at the age of 18 had never seen a penis. Her best friend in an effort to describe a phallus to her said that "the balls are on top and hang over" and was totally serious, she seriously thought that was what a penis was. The girl who had never seen a schlong is now in nursing, and the girl who thought the balls were on top like some kind of lobes is now married.

Prize for restoring my faith in humanity: A friend of mine who heard that, stood up, and dropped his pants right there and then to make that bullshit stop.

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

Today.

Manager accuses me not keeping the my side of the store organized and nice, says I blame customers.

During berating a hyperactive kid runs into the display I just finished assembling and continues on pretending nothing happened. Display products falls everywhere. I just point at kid and stare at manager. Manager tries to play it off like nothing happened. I nearly raged.

[Aldurin]

I work at Wal-mart. You do the math.

Do you know who gets the lowest equipment budget of ANY employee? The cart associates. I've got a single radio that doesn't even have a belt clip, the cheapest cart pushing machine available and the cart stalls are falling apart and/or shoved out of place.

[Aerozord]

bottled water, tap water run through a simple filter, then sold for 10 times as much.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

You forgot the bit where it is also filled with nasty chemicals from the plastic. Those chemicals are expensive to be fair, someone's got to pay for the poison.

[EVILNess]

Do you know who gets the lowest equipment budget of ANY employee? The cart associates. I've got a single radio that doesn't even have a belt clip, the cheapest cart pushing machine available and the cart stalls are falling apart and/or shoved out of place.

Where I live it's been getting to be 115 degrees or hotter. The cart pushers literally get paid the absolute least out of all the employees (I detest being called an associate. If I was a real associate I would be making more than 8 bucks an hour.) They should be getting hazard pay or something. Pushing carts suuuucks under normal circumstances. With this heat going on? Fuck you, Zombie Sam Walton.

Of course, I work in Lawn and Garden, so I spend most of my work days outside, so I can sympathize with the cart pushers (If I work in the mornings) or unloading the trucks (If I work in the evenings, and incidentally I get paid less than they do. So JOY at doing someone else's work and getting paid less for it!)

Not to pry, but do your managers not communicate with each other at all and give you contradictory and often impossible instructions? And then bother you incessantly as you are trying your best to do the work of 3 people because your store is more than 150 people understaffed and they have pulled everyone who works in your department to go work somewhere else? And then you have another manager walk up and tell you to drop what you are doing to come and do something on the other side of the store? And then the manager that assigned the first task gets mad at you because you didn't finish? Then repeat with another manager until you have been yelled at 4 times in a day?

*pant* *pant*

I err... kinda raged a bit I think...

Sorry.

[Aerozord]

You forgot the bit where it is also filled with nasty chemicals from the plastic. Those chemicals are expensive to be fair, someone's got to pay for the poison.

oh and they are really pushing how thin they can make the bottles. They are so bad with human strength you can make them rupture

[Aldurin]

BLUH WALMART JOBS

It sounds worse for you than for me. But then I've hardly been working a month, this is my first job and I've yet to get my full bearings of the company so I have little to compare to. I tolerate it as much as I can and deal with the fact that this will help me pay for my dirt-cheap college (roughly 5k a semester for me, not counting scholarships).

I will say that I'm going to desperately try to get transferred to an indoor department like electronics before the holiday hits. As a general rule, the first of the month and holidays are the worst days for cart pushing. And I would rather not be trying to push frozen carts through the snow on Christmas Eve, or trying to help people fit their giant TV's into smartcars (I've had close to this where it just BARELY fits into the tiny car the customer brought because of their spectacular foresight.)

[Hatake Kakashi]

Seriously? It wasn't manly enough for them to just have a truck. They needed a truck with a ballsack hanging from the back of it.

This is the world our children will be raised in. A world where you will randomly find vehicles with genitalia accessories slapped all over them.


http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg122/mawilson78/penis_car.jpg

[RobinStarwing]

For those of you bitching about working at Walmart...I work for Cub Foods. *hopes none of the idiots from Supervalu see this*

My boss in what is called "Maintenance Department" but really, we do everything including Cartpushing. It took us 7 years (since the store first opened) and a threat from the Dane Ind. Repair Guy to convince her and the Store Manager to get us a new cart machine cause we were calling him monthly for two years to fix the machine.

Also, when one of the smartcarts (old people carts) had only one prong left on the plug, I told her it wouldn't work or charge and took it out of service with an out of order sign. She took the sign off and drove it back and pllugged it in. This happened whenever she was in for over two weeks till the guy who repairs these machines came in to do it.

I could so rip on customers in the area around my store as I work in an area rich in teh afluent and have money. I had to stop two asian bitches (30-40yo both) from taking stuff out of the food bank donation bin by the exit. They just looked at me, put down the item in there that they were going to try to walk out with and just laughed it all off with a smile.

We've also had a young couple (Male and a Female 18-22yo) drive around the store and horse around in the aforementioned smartcarts. Neither were disabled, just being assholes. I called a manager's attention to it and he went up to them and said if they weren't disabled, to get out of the carts and either shop or leave. The guy stood up and said with all his machoness (and I quote) "I do have a disability." *faceground*

I've also had two old farts drive up to me and ask if this was the Cub Foods Parking Lot and if we were open 24 hours. I answer yes to both and than they ask...WITHOUT LEAVING THE TRUCK EVEN...how to get out of the parking lot.

I've had a guy stop me in store; another crotchety old fart, to ask me about a product I had no clue about. He asked about the pamphlet we send out in the mail each month and I told him it was a coupon book. He said it wasn't a coupon book and than I took him over to where we had that, the in store ad, and a few other things and showed him the coupon book. He than grabbed an ad (which covers all stores) and opened it to the item he was looking for; Linenkougal (sp.?) beer that was on sale. Problem was he thought either all Cubs carried it or or we were the Cub that did and unfortunately, that Cub was down the road a ways and it was a product carried in our new Cub Liquor sidestores.
I told him this and he just stormed off, grumbling and swearing. I saw him leave later outside with his wife and adult son (who looked about as bright, was taller, and several hundred pounds heavier than his parents combined) arms loaded with beer. >_>

All of this has made me create the following joke.

"Which is smarter, the ten year-old kid playing Pokemon or your average Grocery/Retail Customer?"

Also, I dread the day before Thanksgiving...*shudders*

[Nique]

http://www.nuklearforums.com

[Grimpond]

http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk282/lordofchaos34/WHATHASHUMANITYWROUGHT.jpg

[RobinStarwing]

Reality TV

[Aldurin]

http://www.nuklearforums.com

You're mistaken, that is our only hope.

[Toastburner B]

This was children's entertainment "way back when" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaYR5lwzomE)

This is children's entertainment now. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJvHrx1X-Gk)

Seriously, folks, what the heck happened there?

[Aldurin]

Seriously, folks, what the heck happened there?

Our new anti-drug plan is to make standard tv shows better than the best acid trips available on the market.

[POS Industries]

Do you know who gets the lowest equipment budget of ANY employee? The cart associates. I've got a single radio that doesn't even have a belt clip, the cheapest cart pushing machine available and the cart stalls are falling apart and/or shoved out of place.
Of course, I work in Lawn and Garden, so I spend most of my work days outside, so I can sympathize with the cart pushers (If I work in the mornings) or unloading the trucks (If I work in the evenings, and incidentally I get paid less than they do. So JOY at doing someone else's work and getting paid less for it!)
I'm just gonna jump in here, be a dick, and note how cake a job connection center is. Right by the AC, mostly involves explaining phones to the elderly and some light paperwork, worst part of my day is if I get stuck on hold with a call center or something.

The only really bad part of it is the crippling sense of shame from the massive string of mistakes I've made throughout my life to wind up having to do this job just to keep a roof over my head. But other than that, it's not that bad!

Not to pry, but do your managers not communicate with each other at all and give you contradictory and often impossible instructions? And then bother you incessantly as you are trying your best to do the work of 3 people because your store is more than 150 people understaffed and they have pulled everyone who works in your department to go work somewhere else? And then you have another manager walk up and tell you to drop what you are doing to come and do something on the other side of the store? And then the manager that assigned the first task gets mad at you because you didn't finish? Then repeat with another manager until you have been yelled at 4 times in a day?

*pant* *pant*

I err... kinda raged a bit I think...

Sorry.
We had a management trainee for another store in today shadowing the assistant most guilty of this bullshit (on top of just overall general incompetence regarding her job), so I am under the impression that this sort of behavior is actually official company policy and/or we are actively trying to sabotage the other stores in our market to make our performance look that much better to corporate by comparison.

But the managers that have been overseeing my area for the past few months have been pretty easy to deal with.

[Archbio]

This was children's entertainment "way back when"

This is children's entertainment now.

I don't think these two programs have the same target demographic, outside of defining it broadly as "children."

It's just that there's more (any?) television programs aimed at babies now.

[Nique]

The only really bad part of it is the crippling sense of shame from the massive string of mistakes I've made throughout my life to wind up having to do this job just to keep a roof over my head. But other than that, it's not that bad!

Brothers in struggling-to-maintain-an-extremely-mediocre-role-in-society.

[Archbio]

The girl who had never seen a schlong is now in nursing, and the girl who thought the balls were on top like some kind of lobes is now married.

They might have been talking about kangaroos.

[RobinStarwing]

Michelle Bachmann wishes Elvis Happy Birthday on the Date of his Death (http://news.yahoo.com/bachmann-wishes-elvis-happy-birthday-death-date-184534908.html)

How can anyone top this?

[Ecks]

RETAIL SUCKS ASS!

DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

At least you guys don't get mistaken for you guys when you're actually just inventory crew... DESPITE THE UNIFORMS.

Seriously, the number of times I'm interrupted from counting by old fogies and clueless morons asking "Excuse me," as they cram an ad in my face, "can you tell me where random generic item I'm looking for is? It used to be over there, but you people have changed the layout again" is officially beyond my ability to recollect.

Pic related, it's yours truly wearing his uniform about to go off to work sporting a sexy new haircut and Why so serious? expression.

[pochercoaster]

DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

At least you guys don't get mistaken for you guys when you're actually just inventory crew... DESPITE THE UNIFORMS.

Seriously, the number of times I'm interrupted from counting by old fogies and clueless morons asking "Excuse me," as they cram an ad in my face, "can you tell me where random generic item I'm looking for is? It used to be over there, but you people have changed the layout again" is officially beyond my ability to recollect.


Really, is that your worst? I've experienced everything from being stalked and sexually harassed to witnessing my co worker get physically assaulted by a customer who was stealing from the store to drug addicts getting into fights with each other and literally ripping the store apart. I'm glad I don't work a third shift anymore (although quitting the third shift really only got rid of the drug addicts, I still deal with the stalkers/sexual harassment.)

But this isn't a whine about your job thread (which inevitably turns into a pissing contest anyways, but who really wants to have the worst job?) You know what job sucks? Prison guard. >_>

On topic: One of my friends asked me where Canada was on the map- in grade 11. Our teacher handed out blank maps of the world and asked us to fill in the continents and major countries while he wrote whatever extra details we were going to add. She asked me where Europe was. Then the United States. Then Canada. She was completely serious and it shocked me. How do you go through 11 years of schooling and NOT KNOW WHERE YOUR OWN COUNTRY IS ON THE MAP? (In addition to the US and Europe for god's sake.)

[Toastburner B]

I almost witnessed a Darwin Award a few days ago.

Now, I know everyone says this, but around here we have some of THE worst drivers around (Salt Lake City recently got ranked as the 6th most dangerous place to drive (http://autos.yahoo.com/news/15-dangerous-cities-for-driving.html) Please note the stat that says that over 25% of people killed in auto accidents in SLC were pedestrians This will play into this). Now, believe it or not, I'm not going to complain about the drivers in this case. I would just like you to keep in mind that this went down in the 6th most dangerous place to drive in the US.

You guys think texting while driving is bad? Wait until you see some idiot texting while bicycling across a busy 4 lane road. I'm don't mean, "Oh, he was off to the side of the road and kinda weaving in and out of traffic". No. This guy was all "Hmm, you know, I could pedal the next 100ft to the crosswalk up there, OR I could just cross this very busy road here! Man, this is such an awesome idea, I need to text my friends while I'm doing it!"

Luckily he seemed to chose one of those rare moments where all the drivers were paying attention, so we all managed to stop in time, and I didn't have to see this idiot reduced to street pizza.

On a less "holy crap that dude is going to die!" note, in a class full of students studying to be certified veterinary technicians, about 33% of the class didn't know about the movie "Old Yeller" (the movie came up because we were talking about rabies I have no idea if I really need to spoiler tag the ending for Old Yeller, but better safe than sorry, I guess). Now, to be fair, I am the oldest student in the class (at the agonizing old age of 28), but I thought Old Yeller (and the ending thereof) was rather...well known? Am I wrong in this thought?

[Ecks]

Really, is that your worst? I've experienced everything from being stalked and sexually harassed to witnessing my co worker get physically assaulted by a customer who was stealing from the store to drug addicts getting into fights with each other and literally ripping the store apart. I'm glad I don't work a third shift anymore (although quitting the third shift really only got rid of the drug addicts, I still deal with the stalkers/sexual harassment.)

But this isn't a whine about your job thread (which inevitably turns into a pissing contest anyways, but who really wants to have the worst job?) You know what job sucks? Prison guard. >_>

On topic: One of my friends asked me where Canada was on the map- in grade 11. Our teacher handed out blank maps of the world and asked us to fill in the continents and major countries while he wrote whatever extra details we were going to add. She asked me where Europe was. Then the United States. Then Canada. She was completely serious and it shocked me. How do you go through 11 years of schooling and NOT KNOW WHERE YOUR OWN COUNTRY IS ON THE MAP? (In addition to the US and Europe for god's sake.)

Damn poch, how is that remotely healthy for you?

Didn't mean for it to turn into "wurst job evar" pissing contest, my comment was actually supposed to just be about clueless shoppers in general.

That said, wow. All I can say is she must not have been actually paying attention in class HER WHOLE LIFE.

[Krylo]

Damn poch, how is that remotely healthy for you?

Pretty par for the course for ACTUAL retail workers.

[Melfice]

Michelle Bachmann wishes Elvis Happy Birthday on the Date of his Death (http://news.yahoo.com/bachmann-wishes-elvis-happy-birthday-death-date-184534908.html)

How can anyone top this?

Actually, anybody could make that mistake.
It's a pretty stupid mistake, but considering people don't generally "celebrate" death-days...

Well, you might visit a grave of a loved one, I know. But it's not like "put up the balloons, great-grandpa Jerry passed away today, ten years ago! Hurrah!".

In the end, the point I'm trying to make is, I had to really think what kind of day it was again as well. His birth- or death-day.

[Magus]

We could just consider wishing dead people happy birthday to be pretty stupid in and of itself, actually. Like MLK day is all well and fine but it could have been any day of the year, I don't conflate his birthday with anything of particular importance, it'd make more sense to put it on the anniversary of his million man march or something.

[RobinStarwing]

Actually, anybody could make that mistake.
It's a pretty stupid mistake, but considering people don't generally "celebrate" death-days...

Well, you might visit a grave of a loved one, I know. But it's not like "put up the balloons, great-grandpa Jerry passed away today, ten years ago! Hurrah!".

In the end, the point I'm trying to make is, I had to really think what kind of day it was again as well. His birth- or death-day.

First, this is Michelle Bachmann.

Second, this is not her first media good. (John Wayne - John Wayne Gacy)

Third: She is Dillusional (http://money.cnn.com/2011/08/18/news/economy/bachmann_gas_prices/index.htm) and people still follow her and think she is the coming of some great GOP Savior. So both her and her followers fit this thread.