A descent into madness- one man's journal

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Why did I agree on that faitful night? Where did the mirth strand me once it had flowed away?
A simple gentleman's agreement in tophat attire, we spat and we shook on terms most dire.
For Scooty Mcgee, smokes down the drain, no easy release from his lifelong pain. For scooty was born with eyes at a cross, without his cigarettes he was at a loss.
Next down the line, with a shake and a shudder, was Horace Flecks with the cows udder. Fast food was off limits to his chubby paw, no fries, no burgers would approach his maw.
The lights dimmed down, the thunder struck, what were we doing, we were pushing our luck. But we pushed on regardless and leaping up with aplomb, was Major Hickory Forth, also called Tom. He had a voice like a mouse and whiskey galore, but for himself he had the most dastardly plan instore. Carnal pleasures, he tittered, I can do that in my slee- for the next 30 days I'll have no sex no matter the girls weep.

And then the eyes turned to me, out of the darkness they peered, at old man SMB they delectably leered. I shived and I shrieked, I hide in my cowl, but they pulled me out again, with hook and with jowl.
"No booze for you" they cried- 30 days and clear, it shall be easy you have nothing to fear. But as they rubbed their hands I knew danger was close by, in their dastardly webs me they would seek to tie.

Our pack made in blood, our seperate ways we went, , who would crack first, who would repent. I do not answer to this question but the prize is most desired, mastery of the office will come to those in victory attired.

And so my tale ends, on day 1 as it begun. 30 days sober beings today, how will the time pass, how will it flow. The first hurdle already is approaching, friday night is at hand, clubs without a whiskey seem a difficult proposition. New strategies approach.
But so far feeling good.

[Ecks]

Doomed to failure,
a foregone conclusion.
and now away I spirit, lest
Smarty deliver me a contusion.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I'm currently running off residue in my system. It's going good so far!

[Magus]

You made a pact, not a pack. If you're going to get off the booze you can start checking your posts for typos now. Of course, you'll probably cheat and start smoking pot or something!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I don't know. It was a gentleman's agreement and I would feel conflicted about breaking the spirit of it. However I am lead to believe that gentleman do such things. I do have access to a supply of alternate highs however.

[Magus]

Gentlemen are always breaking the spirit of agreements in the movies to win, usually based on how it was phrased or what have you, usually in a wacky and audacious fashion.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I do have a plentiful access to 100% ethanol. Currentely considering whether this would be breaking the rules. Cause I'm getting withdrawals already.

[RickZarber]

Win or lose, I vote for Smarty posting in verse from now on.

[Magus]

I do have a plentiful access to 100% ethanol. Currentely considering whether this would be breaking the rules. Cause I'm getting withdrawals already.

Depends on the phrasing of the agreement, since "booze" would probably include not just alcoholic beverages but any sort of liquid that promotes a similar drunken effect. However if they said alcohol specifically then as long as ethanol doesn't kill you or something I see this as a fine loophole to exploit, though it does not seem particularly zany enough if you ask me.

[Azisien]

You are having alcohol withdrawal on the first day? Hmm, yes, perhaps you need this.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Day 2, feeling fine! Up really early though. Who knew the world existed this early!
Withdrawals may have been me needing to take a massive shit. I don't know. I'm not no doctor.

Edit: In our heady enthusiasm we forgot to set terms for losing. I shall be seeing them tonight so I need a good proposal.
What is suitable punishment for losing a bet?

[Pip Boy]

Shaving off all facial hair including eyebrows.

Alternately, joining together to sing a song written by the winner about how wonderful and great he is and how low and pathetic they all are in comparison.

[greed]

Swimming the coldest local water body buck naked.

[BitVyper]

What is suitable punishment for losing a bet?

Loser has to attend AA and put his goddamn life back together.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

You say that like you know Smarty is losing.

[BitVyper]

I say it like someone who knows anyone who loses this bet to Smarty definitely needs to reevaluate some things.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I thought only smarty was the one not allowed to drink. While the others have to refrain from different things.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

It turns out lack of booze turns me into a ruthless killer at boardgames. All fear my wake.
Shaving off all facial hair including eyebrows.

Alternately, joining together to sing a song written by the winner about how wonderful and great he is and how low and pathetic they all are in comparison.
I'm the only one with facial hair unfortunately.

Swimming the coldest local water body buck naked.
I'm pretty sure that will be lethal.

Loser has to attend AA and put his goddamn life back together.

I'm a scholar and a gentleman!

I thought only smarty was the one not allowed to drink. While the others have to refrain from different things.

Others have like smoking and various shit. So it's not too hard.

First social function down, one party to go. Let's see.
Current consensus is that loser has to both clean the lab and gets the worst tutorial classes.

[BitVyper]

Oh fuck, you're up against a smoker. Yeah, my money's on him falling off first.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Why did I agree on that faitful night? Where did the mirth strand me once it had flowed away?
A simple gentleman's agreement in tophat attire, we spat and we shook on terms most dire.
For Scooty Mcgee, smokes down the drain, no easy release from his lifelong pain. For scooty was born with eyes at a cross, without his cigarettes he was at a loss.
Next down the line, with a shake and a shudder, was Horace Flecks with the cows udder. Fast food was off limits to his chubby paw, no fries, no burgers would approach his maw.
The lights dimmed down, the thunder struck, what were we doing, we were pushing our luck. But we pushed on regardless and leaping up with aplomb, was Major Hickory Forth, also called Tom. He had a voice like a mouse and whiskey galore, but for himself he had the most dastardly plan instore. Carnal pleasures, he tittered, I can do that in my slee- for the next 30 days I'll have no sex no matter the girls weep.

And then the eyes turned to me, out of the darkness they peered, at old man SMB they delectably leered. I shived and I shrieked, I hide in my cowl, but they pulled me out again, with hook and with jowl.
"No booze for you" they cried- 30 days and clear, it shall be easy you have nothing to fear. But as they rubbed their hands I knew danger was close by, in their dastardly webs me they would seek to tie.

Our pack made in blood, our seperate ways we went, , who would crack first, who would repent. I do not answer to this question but the prize is most desired, mastery of the office will come to those in victory attired.

And so my tale ends, on day 1 as it begun. 30 days sober beings today, how will the time pass, how will it flow. The first hurdle already is approaching, friday night is at hand, clubs without a whiskey seem a difficult proposition. New strategies approach.
But so far feeling good.

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