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View Full Version : To The Person Who Was On This Computer Before Me


Seil
09-22-2011, 04:52 PM
Dear sir and/or madam;

I understand that as a student, you will seek out a computer - whether for school work or
procrastination. However, there is some etiquette involved in the activity of using a public
computer. One point hints that you probably maybe shouldn't leave a sticky keyboard.

I don't know what you were doing, maybe you grabbed something from the cafeteria and
were licking your fingers. Maybe it was porn day and the fluid covering the left half of the
keyboard is something infinately more terrifying than I even dare to imagine. (Maybe I should
switch chairs, then.) Maybe you just came back from the bathroom. Any number of reasons a
re valid, under the provision that you, yourself, are the only one here.

You are not.

I've got fifteen minutes before I go home while I wait for the bus. I check my email,
look at bus schedules, and maybe have time left to read a few Bash quotes. I now
have to spend my time in the showers in the gym - which is located almost as far away
from the bus lane as possible - naked, crying silently, hoping that one day, my hands will be clean again.

If I was president of this academic institue, I would find a way to track instances where
people like you find something designed for public use, like a pay phone, or a bus seat,
or even a computer keyboard... and mark your territory. Whether you're drooling on it,
or peeing on it, or whatever you're doing, I would find a way to find you, and then I will
feed you to fiery electromagnetic destroyosaurs.

Go die in a fire,
Seil

A Zarkin' Frood
09-22-2011, 05:55 PM
There I hoped someone used your account because you forgot to log out.

I was disappointed when I saw the pink text. I knew it was you.

Aldurin
09-22-2011, 06:00 PM
Sorry Seil, that was me.

Kyanbu The Legend
09-25-2011, 09:59 PM
... What if it was the one before them that marked the keyboard?

Seil I am deeply sorry you had to exprience the horrors of insanatary public resources.

As a fellow victim, I know your pain all too well.

Magus
09-27-2011, 11:30 PM
An open letter to the snotty barista at the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard:
I know there were twenty people behind me in line,
But I was on a cell phone call with my mother.
Didn't you see me hold up my index finger?
That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes.
So what's with the attitude lady?
No tip for you!

You should put this on CRAAAAAIIIIIGGGGSSSLIIIIISSST~

Seil
09-28-2011, 12:39 AM
An open letter to the snotty barista at the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard:
I know there were twenty people behind me in line,
But I was on a cell phone call with my mother.
Didn't you see me hold up my index finger?
That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes.
So what's with the attitude lady?
No tip for you!

OH GOD I SERVE PEOPLE WHAT WITH CELL PHONE CONVERSATIONS!

There is a special circle of hell for youse all.