So if your grandfather slept around

[CABAL49]

My grandfather slept around. We all knew this. But my mom believed that she was an only child. Well, turns out that wasn't true.

My grandfather had a job with the DoD and moved around Europe a lot. As it turns out, he had another with in Denmark for a while and had a daughter. We found out about this other side right when my grandad died. I found it a little ironic that this new aunt had a very similar life to my mom, both being a single mom with four kids. When I say we I am referring to myself, my mom, my brothers and my sister; and we have made an effort to connect.

But only one of us we are in Europe, and not too far from Denmark. Now, I have never been much for small talk, and I am generally very inappropriate. I have absolutely no idea what to say to these people.

So...ideas?

[Aldurin]

To the aunt:
"Sooo . . . did he ever say what party he was at when you were conceived?"

[shiney]

Finger guns. "How YOU doin'."

Or maybe "Hi, we're not all as dumb as we look on TV." Stick up for the country. :D

Aside: Aldurin I love that comic. (Your avatar.)

[POS Industries]

True story: My mother was adopted by her biological father in order to hide the fact that he'd conceived her with one of his mistresses. Yes, that's right: "one of." Needless to say, I do not keep up with my mother's side of the family, because quite frankly I'm not sure how many of them there actually are in the Delaware County, OH, area.

Also, thanks to the way adoption laws work, apparently neither of us gets to be recognized as Cherokee, regardless of the genetics involved.

[Bells]

Really man, relax. You're meeting new people... they are probably as nervous as you are. Just make them talk about themselves and answer when they ask about you... really, easiest way to keep things clean.

Also, topical question: Possibility of you having family members here at NPF that you are unaware of ... great or too great?

I'm not saying that you are Shiney are related, i'm just saying it's very interesting that he posted in this topic so very fast...

[Hatake Kakashi]

Somehow I'm at once relieved and disappointed to find that nobody had a revelation that maybe the hot girl they banged at last week's party was their hot cousin. Jus' sayin'.

[PyrosNine]

Pyros has free rights to use the word "bastard" in the same way that crippled people are able to make fun of other crippled people. Funnily enough.

The real funny thing is that all I knew for the longest time was that he was Mexican, and I had this mental image of him being some sort of transient worker, unable to stay.

And then I learned he was actually a successful company man who just happened to have a wife and kids with someone other than my mom.

This actually made me feel a great deal better about both my mom, my dad, and some Charlie Lopez dude in Texas.

Also, family reunion's are hella awkward because technically I'm not related to any of them, even on my mother's side. True story.

** Oh, on the thread subject, you should probably just ask them about themselves, tell them about you, and not linger too much on who slept with whom.

I've found that we all are really just looking for excuses to be connected to other people, so even if you ended up not being related, being almost but not sorta related is often enough to establish relationships or communication.

[Nique]

and I am generally very inappropriate.

You should basically just start talking about your grandfather's 'adventures' as that seems to be the main thing you have in common.

[Ecks]

I am in general horrified by the idea that any of my family members browse NPF.

Mostly concerned about my stepfather, as he's really the only one aside from my uncle who is nerdy or geeky enough to find the references of 8BT amusing. That said, if he DOES browse, he lurks and/or doesn't share much personal information... honestly either of them would have confronted me by now if they had dared to peruse PERSONAL PROBLEM HELPSTRAVAGANZA, given how very erm... unique, yes, that is the word, unique my latest personal problem has been.

[Magus]

Yeah, it's just like meeting anyone new you never met before. Don't feel like you have to have a real chummy, familial relationship with them--they really aren't your family except by sheer biological chance. I'm not saying give them the cold shoulder, either, just you know go with the flow, it's not that big a deal. For you especially, it's just like meeting some aunt you never met. I do that all the time.

You see, my grandfather? My grandfather on my father's side had 16 kids all with one woman, my grandmother. I have far too many relatives to ever keep track of, dozens of first cousins (without even counting my mother's side which luckily is much tidier). It's quite horrific. Be thankful in a way that your grandfather kept his philandering to a minimum, you only have four first cousins to deal with here. I have dozens without any adultery at all. And now they're all having kids. You know what it's like to try to keep track of 60 second cousins' names so you don't offend their parents when you completely forget? It's a nightmare.

Also I've known my entire life I have a half-brother, I've met him a few times. No biggie, he seems like a nice guy, has a nice family, having nephews is nice. But he doesn't really know me and I don't know him. I have no urge either way to be more in touch with him or less in touch with him. I think he actively doesn't want to be in touch with us, which I respect, as he probably feels angry at our common parent. I probably won't speak to him again until our common parent dies or something, but I mean, we all exchange Christmas cards. It's not a big deal meeting distant relatives, which these are for you, both geographically and familialy.

[Jagos]

You see, my grandfather? My grandfather on my father's side had 16 kids all with one woman, my grandmother. I have far too many relatives to ever keep track of, dozens of first cousins (without even counting my mother's side which luckily is much tidier). It's quite horrific. Be thankful in a way that your grandfather kept his philandering to a minimum, you only have four first cousins to deal with here. I have dozens without any adultery at all. And now they're all having kids. You know what it's like to try to keep track of 60 second cousins' names so you don't offend their parents when you completely forget? It's a nightmare.



Thank goodness for Facebook. I have family in different *countries* who barely speak English but love to add me on Facebook. So when I go and see them in their hometown, I can say hi without looking too awkward when I look at my phone while talking to them. At least then, I can look them up on FB, say their name as my family introduces them to me.

[CABAL49]

We really only found out about them by chance. Who knows how many families out there I am related to. Been trying to keep it slow. They keep using English translators, so it has been... difficult. There have many times where I just say. "I don't understand." I keep asking questions, but I get really short answers. Not much to keep a conversation going.