View Full Version : Apparently, I have unrefined culinary habits and tastes.
EVILNess
10-24-2011, 09:44 PM
So I was in my kitchen making a dish that can be best described as "Would you like some food with your cheese?" when a friend of mine walked up behind me and then proceeded to lecture me on how you are only supposed to use small amounts of cheese to taste.
I literally have never looked at anyone with a http://media.steampowered.com/steamcommunity/public/images/avatars/06/0643d14a8abf0a453ab8af83695825b000fffd6f_full.jpg so hard in my entire life. I made him so uncomfortable with my unflinching stare that he laughed nervously and then awkwardly left my kitchen.
I feel there is no such thing as too much cheese. There is only "More cheese" and "I have died from a massive heart attack." (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill)
So my question is this: Did I do the right thing to chase the non-believer out of my holy place of dairy with my stares of disapproval?
Krylo
10-24-2011, 09:45 PM
You should have said that you are using it to taste.
Then tasted it.
And promptly added more cheese.
IHateMakingNames
10-24-2011, 09:57 PM
Small amounts of cheese?
That isn't how cheese works.
Your friend would have been slapped in Europe.
Magus
10-24-2011, 10:17 PM
Well like I mean if you are making chili or something I would only put in SOME (would still be quite a bit), but if this is some kind of pasta-based meal then you can't really have enough.
Kyanbu The Legend
10-24-2011, 10:24 PM
You should've threw him out of your kitchen with the strength of 10 men.
Magus
10-24-2011, 10:35 PM
What kind of cheese was this, was it a delicious New York sharp or a smooth provolone?
rpgdemon
10-24-2011, 10:56 PM
Tell him that he's a philistine, and that the only time that's true about cheese is when you're in Italy/having a pasta dish. In that case, you're only supposed to use a bit of Parmesan cheese (Preferably none!), since it's an insult to the chef there.
Azisien
10-24-2011, 11:12 PM
The proper response was to stare at him so hard cheese flowed from your cheddar rimmed eyes, oozing hot onto the floor and causing him to trip. He recovers awkwardly, laughing nervously, and turns to leave, only to entrap himself in a web of mozzarella. He struggles, growing more panicked now, finally stretching enough to reach for a nearby knife.
You could care less, already reaching into your fridge to retrieve the asiago and gouda, adding enough that your dish is now a writhing half-conscious tumour of ten-plus cheeses with barely macroscopic reminders that other ingredients were ever inserted. Your friend stumbles from the web only to slip into the warm quickbrie pool beside the kitchen table. You chuckle morbidly, knowing your friend's fate is already sealed.
The grilled cheese was decent, as well.
Darth SS
10-24-2011, 11:28 PM
What a dumb, foolhardy, tasteless CUR. You tell that friend to fuck off and never criticize your cooking ever again. If they persist, you deploy a bunch of mozzarella frozen into the shape of a knife and cut out their tongue. See if they bitch about "taste" ever again.
Professor Smarmiarty
10-25-2011, 02:38 AM
Tell him that he's a philistine, and that the only time that's true about cheese is when you're in Italy/having a pasta dish. In that case, you're only supposed to use a bit of Parmesan cheese (Preferably none!), since it's an insult to the chef there.
When I was in Italy everybody used fucking mountains of cheese. Maybe they all hated the chef. He did hugey like Luigi from SMB though.
Betty Elms
10-25-2011, 03:51 AM
Poppycock. Your friend's snobbery is unwarranted and you seem like a man of thoroughly refined culinary habits and tastes.
I mean, it says "can help lower cholesterol" on the honey nut cheerios box so I just have a bowl of that after I eat a six pound ball of mozzarella dipped in the melted cheeses of a variety of mammals (ranging from goat to walrus) that I then roll around in a bathtub full of parmigiana before injecting with an entire can of spray cheese. Usually I'll retrieve the garden hose and pump the whole ungodly affair full of an amount of cheddar that most members of our species would refer to as "mind bogglingly horrific." At least two cows are traditionally milked to death, and on a good day I can taste the blood and hatred.
Professor Smarmiarty
10-25-2011, 03:54 AM
Cheese is extensively refined. If you were unrefined you'd be having like straight cows milk
Geminex
10-25-2011, 04:02 AM
Poppycock. Your friend's snobbery is unwarranted and you seem like a man of thoroughly refined culinary habits and tastes.
I mean, it says "can help lower cholesterol" on the honey nut cheerios box so I just have a bowl of that after I eat a six pound ball of mozzarella dipped in the melted cheeses of a variety of mammals (ranging from goat to walrus) that I then roll around in a bathtub full of parmigiana before injecting with an entire can of spray cheese. Usually I'll retrieve the garden hose and pump the whole ungodly affair full of an amount of cheddar that most members of our species would refer to as "mind bogglingly horrific." At least two cows are traditionally milked to death, and on a good day I can taste the blood and hatred.
haha, AMERICANS
Amake
10-25-2011, 05:20 AM
Cheese is only ever a question of deliciousness versus health and budget. It's not a question of taste. Never taste.
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/Poetisch/teh_cheese_shoppe.jpg
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