How would you waste an obscene pile of money?

[01d55]

Suppose you had some number of billions of dollars and you sensibly decided to set aside 10 million to provide for endless opulent living and dedicate the rest to eccentricity i.e. being a crazy ass motherfucker.


What crazy ass shit would you do with your effectively endless wealth?

[Shyria Dracnoir]

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/Dragon-by-Anderson-rg__013_Hoard.jpg

[Amake]

Save the Children or Red Cross, I'm not quite sure.

[Krylo]

aPX5mRSQ3pw

[Amake]

Okay, effectively infinite money? I'm going to, shamelessly, ruthlessly, buy myself a friend. I'd hold auditions, maybe tryouts for a year to make sure this is a person I can get along with, someone who can get along with me for the rest of our lives, and then I'd give her ½ infinity money, no strings attached, just to be sure she's not hanging with me for the money. And if I'm lucky this way I can find a person who thinks of these things in the same terms I do, and gets that I don't think giving her that money means she owes me anything, that the money in fact doesn't mean anything at all to me, and then we can decide to be BFFs ever after.

[IHateMakingNames]

Walk around in public, and occasionally throw some stranger's phone against the ground then throw money at them.

[Kerensky287]

Solve the US debt crisis.

Solve the EU debt crisis.

Buy the rights to Firefly.

Throw money at transhumanism research until they can make me immortal, loading myself up with superhuman enhancements along the way.

Go to university after university, majoring in different programs each time, to properly Red Mage myself into infinity.

Ride the Vomit Comet.

Threesome with Felicia Day and Ellen Page.

Buy happiness.

EDIT: And I mean the good kind of immortal, too. Agelessness, y'know? Not that bullshit oh you keep aging but just never die of old age. I don't want to get old. Ever.

EDIT 2: aPX5mRSQ3pw

tMyk7MXsseg

[Fifthfiend]

pay someone else to become Batman

[akaSM]

pay someone else to become Batman while I yell at him all day long via a microphone that is installed in his suit

FTFY

Also, I would buy some liquid money, so that I could swim in it :3. I would probably blow all my money in Steam sales and what not.

[Aerozord]

I was just talking about a million dollar salad, ie a salad garnished with hundred dollar bills.

honestly it depends on my temperament. I could be logical, investing in research in fusion and nanotechnology, burn the wealth on improving the arts of television, movies and gaming.

Or I could just blow it all on a solid gold statue of me giving the finger. So that whenever someone criticizes me, such as why I'd spend spend all that money on a gold statue of myself. I can just point to said statue, "thats why"

[BitVyper]

Doom fortress. Asteroid magnet. Hold world hostage for more money.

[Kerensky287]

I was just talking about a million dollar salad, ie a salad garnished with hundred dollar bills.

Hundred dollar bills taste shitty. Why would you eat them when you've got a perfectly good stack of fifties lying around?

Oh right, because you're American, and you don't have the delicious cherry-flavored, Robert-Borden-emblazoned $50CADs we have.

Seriously, you guys should just spend all your money to become legally Canadian.

[BitVyper]

Make sure you eat them in front of poor people.

[Kerensky287]

Are we talking relatively, or objectively poor?

Because if it's the first, I'm already richer than God.

[BitVyper]

It's not any fun if they can afford to feed themselves.

[Aerozord]

Hundred dollar bills taste shitty. Why would you eat them when you've got a perfectly good stack of fifties lying around?

Oh right, because you're American, and you don't have the delicious cherry-flavored, Robert-Borden-emblazoned $50CADs we have.

Seriously, you guys should just spend all your money to become legally Canadian.

You are right, I shouldn't use the hundred, I should use the TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR BILL (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_denominations_of_United_States_currency#.241 0.2C000_bill)I didn't pick 100,000 because it isn't technically a bill

[Fifthfiend]

FTFY

I thought that part was pretty clearly implied!

I mean okay if you want the ENTIRE plan what I'd actually do is get some totally ridiculous shmuck and CONVINCE him that I'm going to turn him into Batman and then get him just enough training and technology to turn him into someone who will fail utterly at being Batman in some totally disastrous and catastrophic way with dire, dire consequences from which I myself will be perfectly insulated due to my aforementioned incredible wealth.

But I mean, one step at a time, you know?

[Fifthfiend]

After that I think I'd take a few months off to build myself a totally ballin' minecraft city, then pay however many tens of millions of dollars it would take to construct that city in actual real life.

[Bard The 5th LW]

I sure as hell wouldn't pay taxes with it.

[Magus]

Finally produce that Sword of the Spirits film adaptation trilogy I've wanted for years now! Sure, Hollywood will probably get around to it eventually but you know how they like to screw things up.

[Doc ock rokc]

let's see, where to start.
First, I would take a bunch of money and invest in voice recognition software in order to get the stuff off the ground. I want to be able to at least be able to wake up in the morning mumbled I want coffee and have a robotic arm hand it to me. Or something of that sort. (Mostly, I want to dictation software that I don't have to look over, constantly).

Then I'm going to buy a jet pack. Because yes they do exist and they are rather cheap from a rich man's perspective.

Then I'm probably going to use my money to find ways to entertain myself.

[Azisien]

Definitely starting a game developer/publisher. I would certainly recruit talented indie devs and give them funding and resources to produce great games, at the same time starting my own selfish projects and driving them to perfection using HUGE BUDGETS, and dead interns.

Probably dump serious funds into space technology, travel, and exploration. Mostly robotic.

Depending on how many billions, I feel like I would try helping out Africa, up to and including feeding it all and giving it whatever infrastructure it needs to support itself without getting fucked by the first world.

I would do ridiculous shit locally, like buy out entire inventories of stores on Friday night, just to ruin people's saturday morning shopping plans.

I would build a fully functioning mecha, and since there are no laws governing mecha, I would travel around the city I choose to reside in with it. Which is any city, because I probably own several at this point.

I would make the world's biggest grilled cheese sandwich, but I would blow the previous record out of the water. I want bread and cheese based stocks to explode upward due to the size of this grilled cheese sandwich, and have it affect the tilt of the planet. Of course, the resulting environmental disaster due to a giant rotting grilled cheese sandwich would plunge those industries into their own micro-recessions.

I would research less destructive construction methods for solar panels, then build those clean solar panels everywhere, including all over the buildings I own, and I imagine I own a lot of buildings.

[Seil]

http://www.cracked.com/article_19488_14-luxury-sex-toys-extremely-rich-creepy.html

http://www.cracked.com/article/188_7-great-products-telling-world-youre-rich-dick/

http://www.cracked.com/article_19410_5-absurdly-expensive-pieces-junk-food.html

[rpgdemon]

Is this hypothetical? Or is this one of those, "My, um, 'friend' wanted to know..."

Since I'd totally give it to a cool forum-goer whose name rhymes with BarDeeBeeBemon.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

I'd save it. Then I'd calculate how long this money can last me. Then from there I'd distribue the money towards varse different expences ranged from very important to semi important. Then if this amount of money is a consistent anual monthly payment I'd take 10% of it and use it for casual stuff that's not needed. If not then the rest would go towards savings.

[Aldurin]

Buy everything, and in the case of stuff I couldn't afford I would then buy it on credit and use credit from a different bank to buy the first bank, continuing this credit recursion until I own everything ever.

Nothing would be different, unless I got bored . . .

[01d55]

I'd save it. Then I'd calculate how long this money can last me. Then from there I'd distribue the money towards varse different expences ranged from very important to semi important. Then if this amount of money is a consistent anual monthly payment I'd take 10% of it and use it for casual stuff that's not needed. If not then the rest would go towards savings.

Around 4 million is enough to live off of monthly dividends etc. 10 million is easily set for life and a single billion is 1000 times that.

Also some of these answers are straight up impossible even with the vast fortunes of our unforgivably boring elite class. I'm looking for shit Michael Bloomberg could do instead of being douche mayor.

Anyway, one of the things I'd do is get that Phoenix Wright musical localized in all the big languages and have local theater groups put it on. There'd probably be a lot of movies, plays, & video games that would be ridiculous awesome yet dubious from a business perspective that I'd be glad to lose money on.

[greed]

Hire an orchestra to play music for me at home. Fuck iPods I got world class live music 24/7.

Also fund TV shows and video games for my own enjoyment. Like Community not getting season 4? Give Sony 2 billion and tell em to make another 5 seasons.

Also distort the political process using my wealth. Sculpt a horrifyingly powerful media empire and become the second global Australian media monarch. Though I'd be left wing.


Oh also hire live TV spots across every network then perform the Aristocrats. Then pay the fines with my walking around money. Basically what Tracey did on that episode when he found out about advertising money and FCC fines.

Then when I die, get all of my 100s of billions turned into gold then irradiate it to fuck the economy massively.

[akaSM]

one of the links

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/4221/99321.jpg

Neat, I didn't know that TF2 sentries were sold....that's a sentry gun...right? :ohdear:

[The Sevenshot Kid]

Fifth already got this right. Being Batman is the only right answer.

[shiney]

Hedonism.

[Marc v4.0]

http://www.cracked.com/article/188_7-great-products-telling-world-youre-rich-dick/

...why does the dog house cost 4.5x as much as a LOTR house?

[stefan]

Immortality, and then a moon palace.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

I'd save it. Then I'd calculate how long this money can last me. Then from there I'd distribue the money towards varse different expences ranged from very important to semi important. Then if this amount of money is a consistent anual monthly payment I'd take 10% of it and use it for casual stuff that's not needed. If not then the rest would go towards savings.

And then I'd build an army of super robot catgirls and beegirls and take over the world and then the universe just for the freaking lols.

[Aldurin]

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/4221/99321.jpg

Neat, I didn't know that TF2 sentries were sold....that's a sentry gun...right? :ohdear:

If so, that will bring a new interpretation to "Eeeerectin' a dispenser!"

[Arcanum]

And then I'd build an armor of super robot catgirls and beegirls and take over the world and then the universe just for the freaking lols.

An armor composed of robot catgirls and beegirls? Seems like it would be hard to move around in :3:.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

An armor composed of robot catgirls and beegirls? Seems like it would be hard to move around in :3:.

But think of all the pussy he'll be getting in that thing.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Weird I could of sworn I typed army. XD

[shiney]

That makes it no less concerning, honestly.

[Intern Nin]

First, make a micro-loan to every single impoverished entrepreneur on that one website.

Second, build a bitchin' treehouse with a secret passageway to my bitchin' subterranean lair full of crime fighting equipment.

Third, assemble a think-tank to construct a hyperbolic time chamber. Then assemble a few more think-tanks and place them in the aforementioned chamber and put them to work solving whatever crisis I think is important on that particular day.

Finally, I will spend every last remaining dollar to make sure anything specifically Christmas related stays within the confines of the month of December. I am tired of two and a half months of yuletide cheer.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

Weird I could of sworn I typed army. XD

That wouldn't make my statement any less true.

[Arcanum]

Finally, I will spend every last remaining dollar to make sure anything specifically Christmas related stays within the confines of the month of December. I am tired of two and a half months of yuletide cheer.

Somebody get this man a trillion dollars. NOW!