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View Full Version : "Our Many Guests" or "Fuck Alt Titles For Threads"

Revising Ocelot
12-07-2011, 08:40 PM
I could make a filthy joke about NPF being a whorehouse, but I'm not that much of a douchebag. Instead I'm just implicitly making it, which makes all the difference in the world.

Anyways, I noticed about two months ago that the number of guests browsing the forums has just about quadrupled. As I write now, there are 19 members online, and 103 guests. They are frequently witnessed perusing the Dead threads section. They could be newcomers to the website, drawn in by the Dreadful and whatnot, but that would ordinarily lead to more new forum members that make posts for delicious dissection. Not so in this case, as far as I've observed.

Who are these watchers in the dark? What is their ulterior purpose? Are our souls safe?

Am I being a stupid doodoo-head?
Arcanum
12-07-2011, 08:52 PM
Of course our souls aren't safe. Why would these "guests" be drawn to the dead threads sub-forum? The answer is simple: Ghosts. They are ghosts. NPF is haunted and we are all aXU8w336oGs
MSperoni
12-07-2011, 08:56 PM
I'd like to think they're here for The Dreadful!

But more likely they're lurking around in the NPF graveyard hoping someone, or something, tosses them 8-bit scraps to feast on like the ravenous ghouls they probably are.

But if they're here for The Dreadful, like any decent, good-looking person should be, they oughta make their voices known! Especially to me. And especially if it's praise.
Fenris
12-07-2011, 08:56 PM
they're viewing images that are hosted on other sites in the dead threads section
Revising Ocelot
12-07-2011, 09:10 PM
Really though, http://i.imgur.com/aTxJT.png doesn't make much sense. Asides from Google Spider having some sort of agenda.

Is Umbral Theater 7 a big deal?
Dracorion
12-07-2011, 09:13 PM
What can we say?

Mating season really was his best idea.
mauve
12-07-2011, 09:27 PM
I've noticed up to 80 guests at a time in the Dead Threads subforum alone. What's the big draw??? It's not like we have anything super valuable or theft-worthy in there, unless our dead topics from three years ago are the key to eternal life or something.

LURKERS! WHAT DO YOU SEEK IN THE LANDS OF THE DEAD (threads)?
Loyal
12-07-2011, 09:38 PM
Fifth and I had a conversation? News to me.
Azisien
12-07-2011, 09:52 PM
Diablo 2 taught me a lot of things. Like when Diablo 2 came out, for instance, it was composed almost entirely of humans.

Now, Diablo 2 is composed almost entirely of bots. This taught me an important lesson: it is in the natural lifecycle of the Internet for things to eventually turn into bots. We humans retreat to new sanctuaries. NPF is not special in this particular way, and the bots will consume. First guests, first old threads, but next?
Kyanbu The Legend
12-07-2011, 10:16 PM
I wasn't going to mention this but I once discovered that there is a secret code hidden deep within the bows of our dead threads section. I don't know what this code does but damn they seem pretty obsessed with finding it.

That or we have became so dull that our new stuff just isn't worth reading anymore.
Seil
12-07-2011, 10:45 PM
They are dark wizards, who feast on the essence of broken links and photobucket error messages, but they will not have what they seek! They who pillage our dead and dying and damned, lusting for the secrets that have long since forgotten... We will triumph over their foul necromancy, for we hold the most precious posession!

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/Poetisch/41vOjC-MVIL_SL500_AA300_.jpg
Seil
12-07-2011, 10:46 PM
Seriously, there are totally secrets to pillage. You guys should be more careful in what you post, I bet you I can find one of your credit card numbers if I look through some of the old stuff.
Kyanbu The Legend
12-07-2011, 10:48 PM
Seil now you're just encouraging them.
Krylo
12-08-2011, 12:15 AM
Most guests are search engine spiders.
shiney
12-08-2011, 12:24 AM
GUYS I GOT BAD NEWS

IT'S THE GODDAMN RED TIDE CHINESE

WE'RE FUCKED DELETE EVERYTHING
shiney
12-08-2011, 12:26 AM
Seriously what are you people blind! Delete!

All the guests but maybe 3 are from the same IP range...IN BEIJING

I think they should take Krylo first, personally.
Aldurin
12-08-2011, 12:35 AM
To the soon-to-be internet overlords who are clearly scoping us out before their conquest:

Only take the mods and admins! They're the ones you want! Without them . . . we'll like collapse . . . or some shit. It's like, totally a worse fate for us to be left without leaders on this forum than it is to do . . . whatever it is you're going to do.
Loyal
12-08-2011, 12:36 AM
Seriously what are you people blind! Delete!

All the guests but maybe 3 are from the same IP range...IN BEIJING

I think they should take Krylo first, personally.

That is so disappointing.

So, so disappointing.
shiney
12-08-2011, 12:41 AM
Yes, this. What was said.
Krylo
12-08-2011, 12:44 AM
Why would they take me. . . when I've been working for them from the start?
shiney
12-08-2011, 12:47 AM
*taps fingers*

You have earned your reward.
Kyanbu The Legend
12-08-2011, 12:51 AM
Wait wait wait wait...wait

You mean to tell me that most of the guest are from beiging, China?

Chinese users are reading our dead threads?
shiney
12-08-2011, 12:56 AM
Where would you get an idea like that? They are all casual fun-loving American children seeking to occupy their slovenly minds with banal entertainment.
Seil
12-08-2011, 01:38 AM
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/Poetisch/mandarin.jpg

All hail our new leader!
Shyria Dracnoir
12-08-2011, 02:07 AM
http://i360.photobucket.com/albums/oo45/Kanoi47/Avatars/fumanchuformayor.jpg
Seil
12-08-2011, 02:29 AM
If we're doin' this again, I'm pulling out Dracula. And Godzilla. Or some combination thereof.
Thadius
12-08-2011, 02:39 AM
Dracuzilla?

I'm not sure the world is ready for that, Seil.
Seil
12-08-2011, 02:58 AM
He was a robot, why can't he be a vampire? Someone draw me a picture. and make him sparkle godammit!
akaSM
12-08-2011, 03:00 AM
I vote for Jacuzzilla.
Kyanbu The Legend
12-08-2011, 03:08 AM
He was a robot, why can't he be a vampire? Someone draw me a picture. and make him sparkle godammit!

I feel tempted to make it so. O_o
Thadius
12-08-2011, 03:23 AM
He was a robot, why can't he be a vampire? Someone draw me a picture. and make him sparkle godammit!

Shyyyyriiiiiiiaaaaa! An abomination calls out for you to bring it into being!
mauve
12-08-2011, 03:52 AM
I'm gonna blame whoever it was who ended up going to China over the summer. Smarty, I think? Yeah. I'm gonna blame him.

CURSE YOU SMARTY! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!
Geminex
12-08-2011, 04:00 AM
Man, china hasn't been properly communist for ages. They totally a totalitarian free-market economy. Freakin' ideological traitors.

What I'm saying is we need some proper marxist counterrevolutionaries all up in this shit.
Who's with me?

Edit:
I'm gonna blame whoever it was who ended up going to China over the summer. Smarty, I think? Yeah. I'm gonna blame him.
That was me, actually, but I'm fine with blaming smarty.
Hatake Kakashi
12-08-2011, 07:54 AM
Most of us are.
MSperoni
12-08-2011, 08:56 AM
I won't say How I Killed Your Master has anything to do with this recent surge of Chinese influence, or that it was a sign of things to come, because if I did I would compromise my position.

Its year long hiatus has NOTHING TO DO with any kind of political machinations so don't ask me.
Osterbaum
12-08-2011, 09:32 AM
Who's with me?
I am!
Kyanbu The Legend
12-09-2011, 05:40 AM
I won't say How I Killed Your Master has anything to do with this recent surge of Chinese influence, or that it was a sign of things to come, because if I did I would compromise my position.

Its year long hiatus has NOTHING TO DO with any kind of political machinations so don't ask me.

Oh I see what you did there...

I have my eyes on you Mr.MSperoni.