[buttz tag here plz] NPF Chapter 1: Meh-herp-e-derp

[Aldurin]

Uh, your head. Well, at least you think it's your head, heard to tell when wearing an avatar all the time. As your vision clears, you see the forums in shambles around you. From what you can tell, one of the subforums collapsed on around you, blocking off any links needed to exit. Other around you start to wake up and take in the surroundings. The forum clock is visible, but bouncing back and forth between 4 hour increments (at least that is working normally). A single thread is open, though the posts are destroyed and the reply button looks like it's barely clinging to the wall.

[Day 1 starting processes]

Token C and Token H get admin powers, which immediately brings permabans upon them both, rendering them unable to do anything period. Token C fails to make a derpitude save against the banning and dies on the spot.

Osterbaum is currently impaled on a stray phallus and cannot move, but still alive.

Member list:
Osterbaum (critical condition)
Insanegenius
akaSM
Hawk
CABAL49
Kyanbu the Legend
Magus
Fifthfiend
Flarecobra
Loyal
Eckscizor
Shyria Dracnoir
Thadius
Whomper (currently dead from being NOT-Whomper)
Synkronized
Amake
Smarty McBarrelpants
Geminex
Bitvyper
Satan's Onion
Mauve Mage
Relm Zephyrous
Betty Elms
Token A
Token Wright
Token C (slain by perma-ban Day 1)
Token D
White Token
Token F
Token G (slain by vote missile)
Token H (currently perma-banned, but alive)
Token I
Token J
Token K
Token L (slain for inactivity)
Token M (slain by Token Wright's wrath)
Token N (see Token M)
Token O (critical condition)
Token English

Token Noir

Fenris (pinned to the wall by phallus)

What will you do?

[Osterbaum]

'uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhh' is the sound I make while paralyzed by phallus impalement

[Aldurin]

Token L is GM-slain for inactivity. Token E becomes White Token due to racial inequality complaints.

[mauve]

I wanna cast a spell. I can cast any of these level 1 spells, right?

I'm gonna cast Magic Missile.

[Geminex]

Vote: Fifthfiend

[Osterbaum]

I use 'stroke' on the stray phallus

[Shyria Dracnoir]

I search the ceiling.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Fuck this shit.

[Amake]

>Fondly remember creation.

[mauve]

Guys, I forgot which key is USE DOOR. I think I accidentally just spammed the USE HEALTH KIT key like sixty times.


That is to say I just used all our health kits. We didn't need those, right?


Oh hey I found the quick-save button.

[Aldurin]

The magic missle collides with Geminex's vote, becoming a vote missile that collides with Token G and kills him.

Shyria sees a very racy ad bar at on the ceiling, making her wonder how the admins let that through, assuming they're still alive.

IG finds no shit to fuck.

Osterbaum's stroke move causes the phallus to vibrate and propel him off. Token O is found to be on the same phallus, just below where Osterbaum used to be. Osterbaum is in critical condition and cannot survive for long without help.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

I make a Heal check to shove Osterbaum's organs back into the rest of him. +0 Skill Modifier.

[Osterbaum]

I flip Shyria the bird. 'Cause that's how I roll.

I cast a longing glance at the stray phallus.

[Geminex]

Get some leaves!

[Aldurin]

A bunch of shit happens, resulting in Osterbaum's organs strangling Token B, who is now near death.

Suddenly a rogue fifthfiend alt account appears. It is acting very hostile.

[Geminex]

> Throw a dead token at alt-fifthfiend.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Oh hey I found a lever guys.

*Pulls lever*

[Fifthfiend]

I get my robe and wizard hat.

[Loyal]

Token L is GM-slain for inactivity. Token E becomes White Token due to racial inequality complaints.

http://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac77/Loyal_AA_Sprites/NuklearWrightStuff/84ff1d84.gif

http://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac77/Loyal_AA_Sprites/MVonKarmaWrightEd/karma-tsktsk.gif
Leave it to Earl to fuck things up within hours of taking the job.

http://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac77/Loyal_AA_Sprites/MVonKarmaWrightEd/karma-normalb.gif
Yes, there may be some complaints of racial inequality, but there's no way they could stem from a lack of white people on the forums.

http://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac77/Loyal_AA_Sprites/MVonKarmaWrightEd/karma-badmoodb.gif
Just one look in the Camwhore Thread should pretty well demonstrate the opposite, in fact.
This fresh influx of Tokens has been exactly what the forum needed.

http://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac77/Loyal_AA_Sprites/MVonKarmaWrightEd/karma-normalb.gif
The only thing you could hope to accomplish by whitewashing Token's heritage is making the problem worse!

http://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac77/Loyal_AA_Sprites/MVonKarmaWrightEd/83cd6eff.gif
Besides, what would poor Raptacular Haberdasher think?

[Fifthfiend]

Why is Loyal discriminating against white Tokens?

Is he some kind of... reverse racist???

[Mr.Bookworm]

http://www.costumes4less.com/Prodimages/Main/8/MainZ18842.jpg

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Big Yodadog is still just Yodadog, I don't need him to jump right at me. Make him smaller so I can see all of him with my resolution, only then he will be able show his true potential.

[Geminex]

Vote: Yodadog

[Shyria Dracnoir]

*sprays a T. rex porn image on a nearby wall*

[Fifthfiend]

I think what we really need is a SEXAY PARTAY!!!!!!!!!!

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Besides, what would poor Raptacular Haberdasher think?

Oh crap now you've done it. I foresee another impromtu rap battle showdown in our near future.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

This can save the thread. But only if Token also becomes Tokenworth again.

[BitVyper]

I think what we really need is a SEXAY PARTAY!!!!!!!!!!

I don't want to hear those words from you until your avatar is wearing 98% less clothing.

[Token]

This fresh influx of Tokens has been exactly what the forum needed.


Okay that has never been true at any point in history.

Token A: Move Token B onto Quest Bed.

Token B: Choke to death, ascend to Tokenworth Tier. Wait for clients.

Token D: Facepalm

White Token: Hire Token B, sue Earl for racism, reckless endangerment, stupidity.

Token F: Team up with Tokens I and J to seduce whoever I need to seduce in order to get Token G unbanned. Failing that:

Token H: Get off-line, attempt to remember Raptacular Haberdasher password.

Tokens I, J: See Token F

Token M: Attempt to hate hostile alt account to death.

Token N: Attempt to love hostile alt account to death.

Token O: You work that pole, gurl!

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Chinese Token: Wait in linen closet to ambush Inspector Clouseau

[Raptacular Haberdasher]

NO.

[Geminex]

I don't want to hear those words from you until your avatar is wearing 98% less clothing.

Least subtle way to request riker porn even.

[Token]

Least subtle way to request riker porn even.

Oh.
I thought he was talking to everyone.
WHOOPS.

[Aldurin]

The rogue alt account devours the Token corpse. Token D's facepalm causes reverberations, severely damaging the alt account via a dislodged thread tag.

The lever opens up the ceiling, where hundreds of dark, featureless faces stare downward. The guest users were always there, and even the recent catastrophe did nothing to scare them off. It often makes you wonder if they're actually some greater force observing a horrific social experiment. Oh, and it's out of reach.

Chinese Token does not exist, and thus cannot perform any actions within existence.

The coordinated Token plan fails horribly, resulting in Jack becoming Token Noir, Token P becoming Token English immediately after becoming Token Scratch. The only successes are Token O working his way off of the phallus (now in critical condition) and Token B (kinda) who becomes Token Wright, in a fit of rage Token Wright slays Tokens N and M after they succeed in killing the alt account. White Token cannot hire Token Wright at the moment as he is having trouble jumping up to the ledge where the telephone is.

Suddenly one of the walls give out, causing a stray Pokemon Umbral thread to crash through and rupture, releasing . . . well it's just best to keep that sort of stuff in there. All entities emerging from the thread are hostile.

Battle mechanics are now in sexy party mode. Good luck.

[Geminex]

Pokemon Umbral

!!!!!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCbfMkh940Q)

Edit:
The multiple Token iterations give him far too much influence on the course of the battle! I demand that you nerf token!

[Fifthfiend]

http://www.heyben.com/horse_ebookmarklet/

[Geminex]

Okay, battle plan. All live Tokens swarm Token Noir. Shyria to distract Token English with gay T-Rex porn while Fifth gets the sexy party going to buff the group's sexyness. Osterbaum to use a full revive on himself, all our mods to revive the dead tokens using mod powers. The rest of us gang up on Token English in a viscous Multi-pronged Rap attack.

[Aldurin]

Suddenly the lone phallus quivers. It wants in on this action! The phallus is now hostile to both sides.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

*spray image of Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day to counter the phallus*

[Aldurin]

The phallus suddenly levels up. The phallus can now use ranged attacks.

[Geminex]

Sacrifice White Token to get the Phallus on our side.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

.....Attack
.....Item
-->Flee

[Token]

All Tokens: Mass suicide.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Attack
-->Magic
Item
Flee

-->Fire
-->Fira
-->Firaga
-->Firaja

Target: Phallus

[Flarecobra]

http://i613.photobucket.com/albums/tt214/kdbech1993/tandzandmdu1.jpg

[synkr0nized]

So is this an RP...?

[Intern Nin]

>There seems to be a massive influx of ambient Token souls in your vicinity. When this happens, it's best to deploy some purple shells to collect the souls before they dissappear. These souls can be converted into energy that's used to fill your COSMOS DODECAHEDRONS. Once a dodecahedron is completely full, it can be rolled and will grant you access to one of a variety of powerful techniques. If you have several full at the same time, you can roll them all at once for even bigger attacks. The do-d's will be drained of all power after one use, but don't worry. There are an infinite number of Token copies in the multiverse and they're all just achin' to help you beat that phallus!

I'm a Yoda-dog!
http://www.theogray.com/images/blog/yoda-dog.jpg

[Geminex]

So is this an RP...?

Never too soon.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I side with the phallus and help it charge up its ranged attack.

[Mr.Bookworm]

NO.

FO SHO

[Aldurin]

So is this an RP...?

You'll have to ask the phallus.

The mass suicide fails, all token statuses are unchanged.

IG gets the ranged attack in the face for trying to help a self-aligned phallus.

The content from the broken Umbral thread is torched in Shyria's relentless fire, though a few Omakes still linger.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

2 Pages and already a money shot. Man. This thread reached it's climax soon.

E: I charge up the phallus again.

E2: Specifically by using my mouth this time.

[CABAL49]

*sets phasers to stun*

*does barrel roll*

*fires phasers*

*runs away in the Millennium Falcon*

[Geminex]

Hey, cabal, wanna elope`?

[A Zarkin' Frood]

let's become the axis.

[Geminex]

Deal.

[Geminex]

No wait, wait. Let's form the sexis.

[Fifthfiend]

So is this an RP...?

Isn't everything we do here, when you get right down to it?

[BitVyper]

though a few Omakes still linger.

Combat Operandi --> Level 10 Rickroll

[A Zarkin' Frood]

No wait, wait. Let's form the sexis.

Best idea today.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

*summons this*

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/321624_Exterminator.jpg

[Inbred Chocobo]

You've activated my trap card!

Bottemless pit (Estimated depth 7 feet)

The summoned creatures falls down into the hole!

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Tyrannosaurus rex was one of the largest land carnivores of all time; the largest complete specimen, FMNH PR2081 ("Sue"), measured 12.8 metres (42 ft) long, and was 4.0 metres (13.1 ft) tall at the hips.

I'm pretty sure he can just climb out.

[BitVyper]

Defense Schema --> Text Wall

ACTUALLY there is no way a t-rex could carry those weapons on its head. If you look at its entry on Wikipedia, I think you'll find....

*one wall later*

....and that's how we know Obama is a secret Nazi.

[Geminex]

Fine. I summon another T-rex. The two T-rex get it on.

This is now a T-rex sex party.

[BitVyper]

Counterattack --> Pun

Sounds like Tyrannosaurus Sex.

[Relm Zephyrous]

*helps nurture the tormented insects and plants with a serum that will make them evolve into a screaming titanic hive mind monstrosity of nature...


sometime within the next 3000 years*

[Betty Elms]

See the girl. She is pale and thin, she wears a thin and ragged linen shirt. She stokes the scullery fire. Outside lie dark turned fields with rags of snow and darker woods beyond that harbor yet a few last wolves. Her folk are known for hewers of wood and drawers of water but in truth her father has been a schoolmaster. He lies in drink, he quotes from poets whose names are now lost. The girl crouches by the fire and watches him.

The mother dead these fourteen years did incubate in her own bosom the creature who would carry her off. The father never speaks her name, the child does not know it. She has a sister in this world that she will not see again. She watches, pale and unwashed. She has felt neither the touch of sex nor war, and in her broods already a taste for mindless roleplay.

betty elms walks along and is like "woah hahaha dinosaurs that's pretty wacky!" i then retreive my magyck wand and am all ready to do some wicked fuckin spell shit!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

You guys are all fuckign nerds

[Geminex]

USE: Betty Elms
ON: Smarty

[Token]

Damn. Okay.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxzccmNiQ81qfbum9o1_500.gif

[Aldurin]

Hot damn.

[Geminex]

Just like one of my japanese yaois

[Aldurin]

Suddenly all Tokens are slain by a mysterious force, so hard that the originally dead ones are now alive. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SchrodingersCast)

[BitVyper]

USE ITEM --> Unnecessary Caption

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/BitVyper/Youarealreadydead.jpg

[Token]

...
Fantastic.
Token C has been brought back to life, yes? Good.
>Token C: Use admin powers to remove all Tokens from the game.

[Aldurin]

The action fails because Token C is still permabanned.

[Token]

Fuck damn, that still applies?
You are objectively the worst person.

[akaSM]

Use: Splash
On: T-rex

[Intern Nin]

> Quantum protip #1 : Alive or Dead? Yes.

If a tree in the woods is obliterated by a lightning bolt and no one is around to see it, is it dead? The answer is yes. But in a universe where reality is constantly branching of into alternate timelines, it is still possible for you to save that tree. And by tree, I mean friend. While the whole of creation is under no obligation to live up to our expectations, reality itself is subject to each individuals own personal observations and their recognition of said observations.

Consider this, you are now in a situation where a friend is being treated by a medical professional but it is very likely that the friend will die. Instead of staring at them stupidly, not helping, and being an overall ineffectual waste of space, you make the decision to walk away and cut off all sensory perception of them. While this act may make it seem like you're a callous bastard, you're actually doing them a service. This decision creates a new branch in the timeline. Once you are locked away from your friend and have no way of knowing their condition, so you have to assume that they are both alive and dead thus making multiple realities where they are alive and where they are dead. How does this help you? Glad you asked.

Since you locked yourself away, until such time as you turn your perception back towards your friend they continue to exist in a state of both being alive and dead from your position. The key is to find a way to access a timeline where they lived and for you to observe them. If you do this, this version of the universe where your friend lives will become your reality and will overwrite the timeline where he is dead. Simple right?

However, when you attempt this feat make certain that your friend surviving this scenario is not a universal constant or else you may end up with two versions of your friend who will most likely be at each other's throats. Or will screw like horny weasels. C'est la vie.

I'm a Yoda-dog.
http://www.disneycostumeideas.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/star-wars-yoda-dog-costume.jpg

[Magus]

"Truly, my brethren," I intoned aloud to all those around me who would listen, "it is the evil that dwells within the hearts of men that has brought us to this sorry state." I gestured nearby to sight of two war-laden Cyber Tyrannosauruses dry-humping a giant phallus. "Look yonder. Look at what man hath wrought. Do you see now what your love of riches has brought you? Your pride? Your malice? In a better world these creatures would run free beneath the sun and stars, not be yoked with the burden of sexual combat.

"And what of this giant phallus? Are we to truly believe it is our mortal enemy? When you prick yon prick, does it not bleed? When you tickle it, does it not spew forth its seed like unto the more average-sized members of the masculine sex we have heretofore known? Why? Why must we continue this strife? Let us learn to live in harmony with each other, to discern the truth of our existence. Cease this madness! Let us work together to escape this desolate webzone and find for ourselves a paradise unlike any other!"

I opened my arms wide. "Come brethren! Come! Let us journey onward together! Who among you will call thyself my brother, my sister? WHO?"

[Aldurin]

akaSM's attack is supereffective! The T-Rex is now derped, but still alive.

The phallus suddenly rushes Fenris, still completely unaware of the entire ordeal, and pins him to the thread border. The wall collapses, causing batgirl and Dante Falcon to fall into the room.

Token Z emerges from a paradox wormhole and slaughters all of the Tokens, only leaving White Token and Token Wright alive. Token Z then infects himself with the phallus virus and turns into the DNA equivalent of the phallus assaulting Fenris (though admittedly much smaller).

[Fenris]

You missed the part where I removed myself from whatever the fuck this is because I have absolutely no desire to be a part of whatever the fuck this is, because it is terrible.

[EVILNess]

You missed the part where I removed myself from whatever the fuck this is because I have absolutely no desire to be a part of whatever the fuck this is, because it is terrible.

Totally. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_8pTjncqGk)

[BitVyper]

The phallus suddenly rushes Fenris, still completely unaware of the entire ordeal, and pins him to the thread border.

LIMIT BREAK --> Attack

SHINKUUUUUU....

RECURSION!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/BitVyper/YouAreAlreadyDeadrecurse.jpg

[Magus]

You missed the part where I removed myself from whatever the fuck this is because I have absolutely no desire to be a part of whatever the fuck this is, because it is terrible.

THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM THE CUBE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnuRpHkg0H8)

[Ecks]

===============> EckScizor: Wake up and regard these shenanigans.

ES: What the hell guys, I totally missed everything and nobody bothered trying to kill me off yet.
ES: That's what I get for being the Ninja of Derp. Total invisibility to everyone and everything in this horrible fucking thing.

===============> EckScizor: Allocate phalluskind to strife specibus.

[Kerensky287]

I play http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=243217&type=card, granting all Tokens +1/+1 and Vigilance.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Am I still sucking dick?

[Token]

In-game or out?

[Aldurin]

Am I still sucking dick?

Yes, I just haven't kept track of whose dick you're sucking.

[Geminex]

I think it was mine?

[Intern Nin]

> Phallus was Gem's dick? Wait, so this whole game was really just us pounding out some music from his organ? Well, shit. This is more disappointing then the big reveal in that one cartoon with the white haired kids.

Eh, you know what I am.
http://www.theogray.com/images/blog/yoda-dog.jpg

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Yes, I just haven't kept track of whose dick you're sucking.

It was to charge up the Phallus again.

(No idea if that's yours, Gem, sorry)

[Geminex]

I annexed the phallus to further the cause of the sexis.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Sweet. No one can stop us. Except maybe an even bigger phallus. Which I'll just fellate into submission.

[BitVyper]

Sweet. No one can stop us. Except maybe an even bigger phallus. Which I'll just fellate into submission.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/BitVyper/dick_cheney_nm.jpg

Your move.

[Kerensky287]

I cast Summon Bigger Dick.

http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb22/Kerensky287/Dick_Cheney.jpg

[BitVyper]

That's a big dick, alright. Shame it took you so long to get it up.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

I hereby command everyone in this thread to

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/2a3.gif

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/1086_animated_gif_dance_party_hard_RE_THe_y_have_a _theme_song-s360x274-192656.gif

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/dumbledore_party_hard_by_wernette-d34t6kq.gif

[Aldurin]

Everyone: Die of epilepsy

[DanteFalcon]

WHY AM I IN SOMETHING NOT IN THE RP FORUMS?

DF: Be lost and suffer epileptic seizure.

[Fenris]

No seriously, I wanted a butts tag for this thread.

XIX0ZDqDljA

[CABAL49]

http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc172/480sparky/Threads/thread_eject.jpg

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I said phallus, not dick. I don't even get your american politician pic. Maybe it's Dick Cheney? I don't know. I only know these fuckers by name, and unless they are hilariously stupid I will not be able to tell you who they are. But I'll definitely never be able to tell how they look. Unless they are Mr. President.

[Geminex]

http://i.imgur.com/t9gMe.jpg

No idea why I felt the need to do this.

[Ecks]

==============> EckScizor: Seize Geminex's phallus and attempt to slap some sense into the rest of the thread.

[Ecks]

ES: No wait, forget that, use this command instead:

==============> EckScizor: Wield Geminex's phallus and just slap the entire thread senseless.

[BitVyper]

I said phallus, not dick.

Guess what a dick is.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Dick is short for Richard.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Hey guys I'm back and I brought the coffe-

... oh... o_O

[Osterbaum]

Dick is short for Richard.
I cast "how the fuck do you get Dick from Richard!?".

e: I guess I cast like, identify

[A Zarkin' Frood]

How'd I know man? It's like William and Bill, James and Jim and Was Bob short for Robert? Those are all shitty names anyway. No offense if that's your name. If it's any consolation, my name is worse than all of those.

[Osterbaum]

At least James and Jim start with the same letter.

I mean venusaur...

[Aldurin]

. . . I don't know how awesomely that Awesome reference fits, oster.

Everything (including you guys) become hostile and unaligned, now it's a free-for-all/orgy, depending on how you "handle" conflict.

[Token]

Well I am/are(?) keeping my pants on.
...
hang on, no,now i can fellate (http://nuklearforums.com/showpost.php?p=1017201&postcount=39) myself (http://nuklearforums.com/showpost.php?p=1017240&postcount=47) more (http://nuklearforums.com/showpost.php?p=1017252&postcount=52) efficiently. (http://nuklearforums.com/showpost.php?p=1017256&postcount=54)

All Tokens, living and dead, will be off having their own orgy in the corner.

[CABAL49]

Can I handle? This is why I came to Germany! Time to show off my training!

[Ecks]

===============> EckScizor: Proceed to brandish phallus in Osterbaum's general direction.

[Geminex]

Hey, get your hands off my phallus! That's Cabal's prerogative.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

But but... I'm still fellating it! Unless that was another phallus. With so many around it's kinda hard to keep track.

[Ecks]

Hey, get your hands off my phallus! That's Cabal's prerogative.

ES: Fellate me for it.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Thread's dead? Time for the super massive dance party ending! (http://youtu.be/EtaZ48fERfc)

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/dMuYT.gif

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/H8FVw.gif

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/hockey_dancing_GIF_The_WTF_Collection-s500x281-162569.gif

[Whomper]

*sets Osterbaum on fire*

[Intern Nin]

http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/funny-gifs-when-trapped-dance.gif

[Ecks]

ES: It's party hard time already? Damn I was hoping this bullshit would last a couple more pages. Oh well, all we need now is a DEAD page. Could someone oblige? I'm artistically impaired.

[Aldurin]

Your partying is successful, and all hostile enemies take 8*9^(2+3*Base Post Count)*pi damage.

[Ecks]

===============> EckScizor: Link relevant Youtube video.

ES: I don't believe we're done partying yet Earl.
ES: In fact
ES: I think
ES: It's time
ES: To fill up
ES: Some BKZqGJONH68&ob=av2e
.
===============> NPF: Proceed to party. Again.

[Osterbaum]

*sets Osterbaum on fire*
OHMYGODIMONFIRE!!!

[A Zarkin' Frood]

And I guess I never stopped fellating. Fantastic way to end something.

[Geminex]

I'll say.

[CABAL49]

You can use the phallus to save Oster Iggy. His life is in your hands. Or Gem's hands cause it is his.

[Fifthfiend]

Ace Calvinball thread.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Christ, Fifth, what did Earl do to you?

[Aldurin]

Christ, Fifth, what did Earl do to you?

http://sadpanda.us/images/850470-69FGVLN.gif

[Mr.Bookworm]

Oh yeah, now I remember.

[Fifthfiend]

I use five points to play my trap card.

It activates my Naruto Shield.

[BitVyper]

I use five points to play my trap card.

It activates my Naruto Shield.

NERD RAGE --> Anime Poindexter --> Level 2 Nitpick

ACTUALLY you shouldn't reveal the purpose of your trap card until someone has triggered it. As any TRUE Duel Monsters player knows, trap cards are played face down so that your opponent doesn't know their function. You CLEARLY aren't ready for tournament play yet.

[Fifthfiend]

I'm shielded from your nitpick frenzy by the power of self-esteem.

Your nerd rage is reflected back onto you, adding 5.7 to your Solid Snake Index.

I begin charging my Spirit Bomb.

[Aldurin]

A spectator plays a dicks card, battlefield steaminess increases by 4.

[BitVyper]

I'm shielded from your nitpick frenzy by the power of self-esteem.

Trap Card Triggered! --> Crushing Reality

You are in a forum game being run by Earl. Your post count on this sprite comic message board is over 19000. You probably have work you should be doing.

I take 3 backlash damage and contemplate my life decisions, leading to a two week forum break which returns my Solid Snake index to normal.

I begin charging my Spirit Bomb.

Is anybody holding a level 3 or higher Vegeta?

[Fifthfiend]

Trap Card Triggered! --> Crushing Reality

You are in a forum game being run by Earl. Your post count on this sprite comic message board is over 19000. You probably have work you should be doing.

Your attack does devastating damage

to my after-images.

I continue charging my Spirit Bomb.

[BitVyper]

Your attack does devastating damage

to my after-images.

Or so you think. My attack was merely a distraction so that I could teleport past your defenses!

Limit Break --> Level 50 Troll

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/BitVyper/20100621050907Dream_Devourer.png

CANON

[Mr.Bookworm]

CANON

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g152/MrBookworm/Chrono_Cross_Wallpaper_by_Cepillo16.jpg

[Ecks]

=============> EckScizor: Stare in openmouthed horror.

ES: WE'RE ALL FUCKED!
ES: ESCAPE WHILE YOU CAN

==============> EckScizor: Abscond.

[Aldurin]

The phallus snatches EskScizor before he can run.

Phallus turn:
Pulsation technic --> Relentless spray
All cards become sticky, giving you a chance to miss some cards that are merely stuck to the back of others.

[Intern Nin]

> EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW.

http://www.theogray.com/images/blog/yoda-dog.jpg

[A Zarkin' Frood]

The phallus snatches EskScizor before he can run.

Phallus turn:
Pulsation technic --> Relentless spray
All cards become sticky, giving you a chance to miss some cards that are merely stuck to the back of others.

I am still sucking the phallus!!! I absorb all damage of Relentless spray.

[Betty Elms]

If God meant to interfere in the degeneracy of mankind would he not have done so by now? Wolves cull themselves, man. What other creature could? And is the race of man not more predacious yet? The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die but in the affairs of men there is no waning and the noon of his expression signals the onset of night. His spirit is exhausted at the peak of its achievement. His meridian is at once his darkening and the evening of his day. He loves games? He loves roleplay? Let him play for stakes. This you see here, these ruins wondered at by tribes of savages, do you not think that this will be again? Aye. And again. With other people, with other sons.

betty elms jumps about and casts her ice wizardry spells at the falus and it is cold!

[Fifthfiend]

Or so you think. My attack was merely a distraction so that I could teleport past your defenses!

Limit Break --> Level 50 Troll

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/BitVyper/20100621050907Dream_Devourer.png

CANON

Canon ignites the Kubo Effect.

I continue to charge the Spirit Bomb.

[Fifthfiend]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH

[BitVyper]

Localization Effect --> Eighties Anime Roulette.

Dragonball is now part of a series with Sailor Moon and Bubblegum Crisis called Spacemagic Battle. Your Spirit Bomb is no longer a valid move.

[Fifthfiend]

Counterattack:

It is.

[Fifthfiend]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH

[Ecks]

===============> EckScizor: Watch helplessly as Fifth prepares to destroy the forum.

ES: Guys...
ES: Guys somebody do something.
ES: Ninja (-) is an active class. Derp is a practically useless aspect.
ES: I can't do anything to stop him other than derp wildly and be a highly visible invisible forum poster.
ES: OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO
ES: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH

====================> EckScizor: Do the http://www.izismile.com/img/img3/20100908/640/funny_derp_pictures_640_14.jpg thing.

[Intern Nin]

> Anime battle protip: Spirit bomb almost never works. Just use Moon Prism Power on the one-eyed monster and be done with it.

I've wasted a good portion of my life watching cartoons from Asia. I'll never get that time back.
http://www.theogray.com/images/blog/yoda-dog.jpg

[Ecks]

http://www.lolmaze.com/pictures/d1f491a404d6854880943e5c3cd9ca25.jpg

[akaSM]

Someone do something fast, everything will be over before Fifth gets his Spirit Bomb ready :ohdear:

[Thadius]

I guess I'm technically a part of this, aren't I?

See, I'd slay Fifthfiend, but then the sheer amount of Dickitude contained within his very being would cause an explosion that would make the H-bomb look like a firecracker as it escaped. If we survived, the Dickitude Fallout would slowly turn us into dicks as well, and he will still win in death.

We can't just send him away, either. One of his prime directives is to cause us as much pain and suffering as possible, so he'll never stop looking for us. He'll always be back.

We need to find a way to stop time itself and use it on Fifth! Only then can the Dickitude be contained and our salvation assured!

Fortunately, I have a device prepared.

*Pushes a blue button on a convenient remote control*

[Arhra]

Oh dear, some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.

[Thadius]

...Plan B then. I'm going to hide in an alternate reality. One far enough removed from this one that I run no risk of being blown up by Fifth or that ominous sounding bomb Arhra's mentioned. Kinda where I was to begin with, really, but this involves more screaming and flailing of limbs.

The rest of you enjoy your life! What little is left of it, anyways. If you can find my time-stopping device and manage to use it on Fifth, you might live!

Until whatever bomb Arhra's talking about blows up, anyways.

[BitVyper]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH

Activate Trope --> They ARE still on Namek

You are in an expanded frame of time. You must continue to take this action every turn until a series advancement effect is played.

[Arhra]

...Plan B then. I'm going to hide in an alternate reality. One far enough removed from this one that I run no risk of being blown up by Fifth or that ominous sounding bomb Arhra's mentioned. Kinda where I was to begin with, really, but this involves more screaming and flailing of limbs.

The rest of you enjoy your life! What little is left of it, anyways. If you can find my time-stopping device and manage to use it on Fifth, you might live!

Until whatever bomb Arhra's talking about blows up, anyways.

I guess I'm talking about some sort of spiritual bomb.

Way to context, Mr Assassin!

[Whomper]

I cast Deus Ex Machina on the Spirit Bomb.

....I then roll a 1.

[Fifthfiend]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH

[Ecks]

============> EckScizor: Show him your derps.

ES: THIS IS IT FIFTH
ES: I MUST BUST OUT THE DERPIEST OF MY FRAYMOTIFS
ES: THIS IS
ES: THE ULTIMATE DERP

ES: HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/10/2/920e4be8-511c-4af4-9f01-8641625f5af4.jpg
ES: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP

[Intern Nin]

> Tech tip: The ultimate DERP technique consumes four times as much mp as the previous Derptech, yet it only deals about 40% more damage. In short, that move is a waste of technique slot and you are the ultimate derp for learning it. Congratulations.

One of your party members is going to die in the most tragic manner possible and take all that expensive, one of a kind gear they're wearing with them. But I'm not going to tell you which one it's going to be! Have fun with that.
http://www.theogray.com/images/blog/yoda-dog.jpg

[Shyria Dracnoir]

*drags out the bagpipes to play Yodadog off to his flights of angels*

b74s3FcrLjc

[akaSM]

Horrible noise

Huh? What's this?
*click*
OHGODMYEARS
*dies*

[Fifthfiend]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH

[Shyria Dracnoir]

What's that? You want an encore?

b74s3FcrLjc

[BitVyper]

What's wrong with bagpipes? I love bagpipes.

[Ecks]

> Tech tip: The ultimate DERP technique consumes four times as much mp as the previous Derptech, yet it only deals about 40% more damage. In short, that move is a waste of technique slot and you are the ultimate derp for learning it. Congratulations.

ES: I'm working with what I've got here.
ES: To be completely fair though all of my fraymotifs cost negative boondollars so it's not like I wasn't also simultaneously making money off buying shitty techniques.
ES: Also what the hell is mp?
ES: Is that a gaming abstraction because I don't recall Sforums actually requiring an mp cost for techniques.
ES: I just kind of do them.
ES: I'll just be derping along like the shitty forum ninja I am and suddenly WHAM
ES: A wild Geminex phallus appears
ES: OH SHIT TIME TO GET MY DERP ON
ES: You know how it goes.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

So you are... "buying" techniques but refuse to acknowledge MP? Funny.

Also, screw y'all. You don't seem to appreciate my efforts. I'm keeping the phallus in check and you pretend like I'm not even doing anything, like it still needs to be fought. Fuck you. I tamed it. It will do as I please, and what I want it to do now is to screw you over. And over and over and over.

[Geminex]

Spirit bomb OP nerf plz

[Aldurin]

Spirit bomb OP nerf plz

Spirit bomb is nerfed so hard that all damage it would do becomes healing. Please note that the mechanics for this system accounts for death through healing overdose.

[akaSM]

Let's get derpgerous!

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/8575/814482.png

[Mr.Bookworm]

I tap three black and play Yawgmoth's Will, then I tap five white and play Jesus from the graveyard.

[Fifthfiend]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH

[Shyria Dracnoir]

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/130860975956.gif

[Intern Nin]

>
eSByiND5Dvk

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/supahsaiyajinyodadogu.png

[Ecks]

ES: Did I mention Ninja (+) was a passive class?
ES: Look at all the Derp spreading around, it's glorious.

So you are... "buying" techniques but refuse to acknowledge MP? Funny.

Also, screw y'all. You don't seem to appreciate my efforts. I'm keeping the phallus in check and you pretend like I'm not even doing anything, like it still needs to be fought. Fuck you. I tamed it. It will do as I please, and what I want it to do now is to screw you over. And over and over and over.

ES: I "bought" it with negative boondollars.
ES: I actually made money buying my Derp fraymotifs.
ES: And apparently when I use one other people start derping around me.
ES: It is fantastic.
ES: Also I stopped messing with your phallus like a page and a half ago, I switched to derpkind to counter Fifth's massive Fail Bomb.