Happy Valentines Day!!

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Well it's that special day again. Where couples young and old enjoy a romantic day of buying expensive gifts for one another, sank their teeth into a glorious dinner, and end the day with a romantic evening alone together. And I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.

But whatever. Happy Valentines day NPF and Happy S.A.D if your single like me! :)

[BitVyper]

Everyone needs to use these. (http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.250318521715071.60922.129907333756191&type=3)

[Professor Smarmiarty]

My dad lives in a beachhouse nowadays. Once he chops it we can use that. But nobody better piss on the floor.

[BitVyper]

My dad lives in a beachhouse nowadays. Once he chops it we can use that. But nobody better piss on the floor.

Your misposting shames your family.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

SUrely my alcoholism, rampant drug use and fleeing home at 18 and moving to the opposite side of world shames my family.

[BitVyper]

Not as much as your misposting. I'm afraid seppuku is just the only answer at this point.

[Kim]

http://d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net/photos/full/516841935.jpg?Expires=1329214328&Key-Pair-Id=APKAIYVGSUJFNRFZBBTA&Signature=kMBVUpFSeuVKvvVyUCCDrTj-DVjCnio8R3V7f7jl%7E7LPPG9tXt0bW38KuvCV2RqtZ9iCf0Aa nPOk1X11vZvEoHQRs1zEwYTo4mX%7ECKXInyShNxNzlB7uxlks CQfGnT9IcRp9PcC1F0fZrK5O2HZboC2X30obcC68A3yYR%7EV9 Rh0_

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Oh, Valentine's Day. What a beautiful day. A day, when young men present roses to their love interests. Some give roses to more than one woman. Improves the chances I guess. But did you ever consider what roses mean? The spikes will have been removed from the roses you can buy, and they are rather short-lived plants. They don't do well without water. What does this say? I want you, but only if you hide your mistakes from me, and only because you're kinda hot. Also, this'll be a one-night stand, I just wanna fuck. Now, what should you give to your true love then? Easy, a cactus. A cactus without its spikes is no cactus. This tells the girl of your dreams "I love you, even with all your mistakes because they aren't mistakes in my eyes, they are a part of you like everything else and I love you". Cacti also can manage a loooooong time without water without dying, and since they aren't exactly a "pretty flower" they also are a good gift for a woman you love for her inner values, which doesn't mean she can't be beautiful. But the best stuff of the cactus, the stuff that gets you real high. That's deep inside.

Want a plant that symbolizes true love? Cacti are the way to go.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Fuck Valentines Day.

[batgirl]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/424430_10100195273008202_8101298_43862778_18586594 53_n.jpg

My "valentines day," done on Sunday night since we both work during the week.

[Solid Snake]

...Listen.
Listen.
It's Singles Awareness Day.
This holiday is now about people in relationships respecting the existence of single people and refusing to bombard them with copious images and narratives about their soulmate and one true love and how perfect everything is now that they've found their special someone

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Man I spent the hwole thread waiting for the Snakepost but it didn't deliver as much as i hoped :(

[3stan]

I wrote a poem for my true love.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In your butt,
Is where we must do,
it.
Love, Tristan

[Solid Snake]

Man I spent the hwole thread waiting for the Snakepost but it didn't deliver as much as i hoped :(

You have to wait until I get ludicrously drunk off wine later tonight, dude.

[phil_]

You have to wait until I get ludicrously drunk off wine later tonight, dude.I look forward to it!

[Revising Ocelot]

...Listen.
Listen.
It's Singles Awareness Day.
This holiday is now about people in relationships respecting the existence of single people and refusing to bombard them with copious images and narratives about their soulmate and one true love and how perfect everything is now that they've found their special someone


Your punishment is entirely self-wrought by posting this, especially in magenta.

Personally, I don't care about Valentine's Day. From my perspective the modern form of it is entirely designed to guilt-trip people. "You don't have a special someone? But look at all our beautiful roses and champagne and chocolates you could be buying for her, now only £39.99!" Plus I think the happiest thing I could do for any girl would be to -not- subject them to a date with me. I'm not that cruel.

[POS Industries]

What the fuck is this shit and why is it interrupting my celebration of Lupercalia?

[pochercoaster]

We celebrated Valentine's one day early. It was particularly special this year because for the last four Valentine's days we couldn't be together because we were long distance and this was our first one married. We shared a nice home cooked dinner together and then Erick surprised me with candy and a bottle of bailey's :)

Also I don't get why Valentine's day should be particularly upsetting to single people. It never bothered me when I didn't have a boyfriend. Instead I just bought roses for my friends and discounted candy for myself the next day. Hating a holiday because of other's people happiness just seems petty.

[Seil]

http://questionablecontent.net/comics/774.png

[Azisien]

Hating a holiday because of other's people happiness just seems petty.

Whoa, petty people complaining about silly holidays on the Internet. I couldn't even imagine!

I actually do dislike Valentine's Day, but not due to being single in this year or that. It's just the anniversary of the biggest relationship letdown of my life, and the day just seems to always remind me of it.

The upside is I've been seeing a new woman for about a month and things seem great. So yay.

[Solid Snake]

Hating a holiday because of other's people happiness just seems petty.

NOTE IN ADVANCE: This ranted isn't directed at Pocheros specifically, it's directed more at other individuals who've posted more outrageous declarations of their eternal love on Facebook and whatnot.

...This is a fairly popular misconception I've heard from at least one other person who's in a relationship today, so I'll try to clear it up.
It's not your happiness that 'we' hate. Generally speaking, your friends who feel this way are excited for you and wish you the best. If we didn't feel that way, we wouldn't be your friends.

It's the fact that Valentine's Day gives so many of you just the excuse you wanted to rub our noses up in your happiness for your own petty self-gain that drives 'us' to madness.

Like, you're happy, we get it! We're happy for you!
But seriously, don't use this holiday as an excuse to type 1,000-word essays about all the amazing things your significant other has done! At that point, the only tangible reason for you to be posting the story publicly is just to revel in the self-congratulatory notion that others will know how content you are. Mind you, this is the logic that basically fuels 99% of all Facebook posts; the inherently selfish "Look at me! Aren't I important! Aren't you jealous?" mental games bullshit that motivates a fair majority of social networking on the internet.

...But it's ludicrous. You have already experienced, in the private context of your relationship, whatever magical experience has made you feel happy. Recounting the story publicly and broadcasting it in a way that all your friends hear it, whether it's appropriate for them to know or whether they'd be interested in knowing or not, serves no additional purpose. Any semblance of empathy on your part will lead you to realize that the only reason you're recounting all this in such detail is to elevate your own perception of your social standing among acquaintances and to lead them to feel jealous.

I have no issue with people who update their Facebook with something like "I love my girlfriend! We've been together 10 years!" Like, the one sentence summaries? Those are cool. Everyone likes others to know what's going on in their lives, after all. And it makes sense to update people generally on such things as "We got engaged!" or "We're moving in together!" Those are the kinds of broad, impactful life-changing events that require general notification to the masses of your acquaintances; that's what Twitter and Facebook should be used for.

It's the goddamn paragraph-long status updates that gush and delve into the petty minutiae that aggravate the crap out of me. No, we didn't need to know your girlfriend's pet name for you or how she cooked your favorite recipe for you and then kissed you dramatically as the sun set. No, we didn't need to know that you felt all empty and hollow and depressed in life but then she showed up and she washed away all your problems and now you're going to confess your love to her on the sidewalk where you first met and isn't it perfect?

At that point, again, there's no justifiable reason to actually broadcast the information; it's something you should share privately with close friends and confidants who ask you what's going on in your relationship, but it's not something you shout from your mountaintop. Unfortunately, I tend to believe that most people who do this act out in this way either because they consciously want their single friends to feel inadequate and jealous, OR, at the very least, they're just too wrapped up in their own emotional high to bother to take a moment to think about how their single acquaintances might interpret their statements as insensitive bragging.

[Seil]

tl;dr

<3

[Solid Snake]

tl;dr

<3

Seil-post;dr

<3

[phil_]

But, if pocheros et al. don't post their haul, what excuse do I have to search for Old Gregg Valentine cards?

Wait, does this mean NPF Christmas is canceled, too?

[pochercoaster]

This thread is everything I hoped it to be!

I sure do love rubbing other people's noses in my happy marriage with Japanacide. (I know you're all jealous that I got to him first, right?)

Edit: Seriously speaking, I could understand being annoyed with Valentine's day if it was as big as, say, Christmas and it was nothing but pink and red for 2-3 months. But Valentine's day is "big" for just 2-3 weeks and isn't nearly as prevalent as other holidays. It is very easy to ignore.

Also, all social networking is terrible and it's similarly easy to ignore. It's also ironic you complain about long paragraphs on how people love their SO when you just wrote that... thing... up there.

[Azisien]

Snake's argument sounds kind of like annoyance expressed at young mothers who are just so obsessed with their little eat-sleep-shit factories and talk about only that on Facebook. And eventually you just sit there suppressing the urge to comment "YOUR BABY IS UGLY."

At least, that's the vibe I'm getting. Except substitute babies for relationships.

[Seil]

Christina Aguleria – Falling In Love Again (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ymuFtqD4w)
Pink – Oh My God (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObLlaX3TgLE)
Slackwax – Close To My Fire (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaHOUXHLbSE)
Jem – Come On Closer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF9G3A4TQ-Y)
Adele – Lovesong (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f1D9kHogq0)
Ani DiFranco – If It Isn’t Her (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGS5QwjCm9Q)
Melissa Ethridge – Like The Way I Do (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivBHmLT260E&feature=related)
Beyonce – Fever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN-FQYzS1cc)
Black Eyed Peas – Sexy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXIIlb3zm5U)
Brooke Fraser – Arithmetic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utZ1rJiQEHI&ob=av2e)
Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros – Mondo Bongo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPjaXu6g1Xk)
Lila Downs – Alcoba Azul (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxQcmVK4qaw)
Suzanne Vega - Caramel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD7TZyLeCfk&ob=av2e)
Katie Noonan - Crazy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZkE9GB7JuU&feature=feedf)
Maya Isacowitz - Is It Alright (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CC8ygcovPmY)
Boyce Avenue - Teenage Dream (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAUMU3QQE6w&feature=player_embedded#!)
The Feeling - Rose (http://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=pABVqPX-Ns0&feature=player_embedded#!)
Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0I6mhZ5wMw)
Emily And The Woods - Steal His Heart (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOYdTx8ElXE&feature=related)
Zenet - Sonar Contigo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CdZlQsBUII)
Veronica Verdier - Asi Se Baila El Tango (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EI8rRvvQA8)
Luz Casal - Un Año de Amor (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7uXZVX6h20)
Kinnie Star - Is It Alright (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC394Vd6MYM)

[Solid Snake]

Edit: Seriously speaking, I could understand being annoyed with Valentine's day if it was as big as, say, Christmas and it was nothing but pink and red for 2-3 months. But Valentine's day is "big" for just 2-3 weeks and isn't nearly as prevalent as other holidays. It is very easy to ignore.

You really need to meet a few of my friends on Facebook, then. =/

Like, if every couple just typed the kind of stuff you did? Valentine's Day would be cool. Unfortunately, a lot of people I've known are considerably more effusive about their romances on Valentine's Day. I'd include examples, but I'm trying to avoid logging on to Facebook again today. Let's just say that a lot of Christian couples I know in particular are very guilty of getting mushy around this time, and it's worse when they do so because they'll often include Bible quotes that seem to indirectly cater a subliminal message of "You should be in a relationship; if you're not in on you're not favored by God / a part of His plan!" Uuuuggghhhh.

[Flarecobra]

http://www.adultimum.net/rw/img/comic/230.jpg

Basically, this.

[Grimpond]

SNAKEPOST

Just don't fuckin read it man!

Just go about your facebook trawling, you see the gush of TWU WUV crest the wave, and all you need to do is

"Nope.avi" and not read it

[PyrosNine]

PyrosNine is still single, and spends his valentines day watching movies, with the occasional box of chocolates and doggie treats for the various members of his family. Special care is made so that there is no mix up of what goes to whom.

Then, the day afterwards Pyros buys a lot of bloody chocolate. Just like every other candy related holiday!

But oh well, I should have a job (and a car) soon so maybe there's hope for next year? Or at least then I can afford more candy!!

On the concept of loveydovies wrecking my day with their amorous fraternization, I can't say I'm too bothered with it. My bro goes through girlfriends like a fad, and my sister has two kids, so you could say that the Valentine's cheer is lost upon them, and they're the only people who facebooker me these days. Beyond this one annoying chinese guy back from college, but if he sends me something for Valentines day I'm just gonna drop facebook 4evah.

I would only be annoyed if at some point, two to four lovebirds kicked down my door, hurled roses and heart shapes everywhere, and told me how awesome their Valentines day, because otherwise I couldn't ignore them. For people who suffer this on the internet, I'm pretty sure you can, in fact, ignore them. Pretty easily in fact. Like, just stay off the internet for a day or two. Watch a whole DVD set of some show that has absolutely no romance in it. (which I'll admit, is hard to find) and then come back. Not that hard.

On the subject on Christian Romance, take note that aside from my brother, everyone around my age who is Christian is married and has kids by now. Having a girlfriend past 25 is considered "adultery" in most circles. So if you're ever feeling down because of such couples, remember that they're inevitably going to be stuck with each other til' one of them dies and they have to make as much of their situation as they can.

[Solid Snake]

On the subject on Christian Romance, take note that aside from my brother, everyone around my age who is Christian is married and has kids by now. Having a girlfriend past 25 is considered "adultery" in most circles.

Snake is 27, still single and a member of said aforementioned evangelical Christian community.
...Thank you for articulating exactly why Snake hates Valentine's Day, PyrosNine.

[Osterbaum]

Yeah I don't like Valentines day either. I do feel like the whole holiday is just rubbing my lack of girlfriend in my face. Especially right now when I feel ready for a relationship, but one hasn't happened because reasons.

[BitVyper]

NOTE IN ADVANCE: This ranted isn't directed at Pocheros specifically, it's directed more at other individuals who've posted more outrageous declarations of their eternal love on Facebook and whatnot.

...This is a fairly popular misconception I've heard from at least one other person who's in a relationship today, so I'll try to clear it up.
It's not your happiness that 'we' hate. Generally speaking, your friends who feel this way are excited for you and wish you the best. If we didn't feel that way, we wouldn't be your friends.

It's the fact that Valentine's Day gives so many of you just the excuse you wanted to rub our noses up in your happiness for your own petty self-gain that drives 'us' to madness.

Like, you're happy, we get it! We're happy for you!
But seriously, don't use this holiday as an excuse to type 1,000-word essays about all the amazing things your significant other has done! At that point, the only tangible reason for you to be posting the story publicly is just to revel in the self-congratulatory notion that others will know how content you are. Mind you, this is the logic that basically fuels 99% of all Facebook posts; the inherently selfish "Look at me! Aren't I important! Aren't you jealous?" mental games bullshit that motivates a fair majority of social networking on the internet.

...But it's ludicrous. You have already experienced, in the private context of your relationship, whatever magical experience has made you feel happy. Recounting the story publicly and broadcasting it in a way that all your friends hear it, whether it's appropriate for them to know or whether they'd be interested in knowing or not, serves no additional purpose. Any semblance of empathy on your part will lead you to realize that the only reason you're recounting all this in such detail is to elevate your own perception of your social standing among acquaintances and to lead them to feel jealous.

I have no issue with people who update their Facebook with something like "I love my girlfriend! We've been together 10 years!" Like, the one sentence summaries? Those are cool. Everyone likes others to know what's going on in their lives, after all. And it makes sense to update people generally on such things as "We got engaged!" or "We're moving in together!" Those are the kinds of broad, impactful life-changing events that require general notification to the masses of your acquaintances; that's what Twitter and Facebook should be used for.

It's the goddamn paragraph-long status updates that gush and delve into the petty minutiae that aggravate the crap out of me. No, we didn't need to know your girlfriend's pet name for you or how she cooked your favorite recipe for you and then kissed you dramatically as the sun set. No, we didn't need to know that you felt all empty and hollow and depressed in life but then she showed up and she washed away all your problems and now you're going to confess your love to her on the sidewalk where you first met and isn't it perfect?

At that point, again, there's no justifiable reason to actually broadcast the information; it's something you should share privately with close friends and confidants who ask you what's going on in your relationship, but it's not something you shout from your mountaintop. Unfortunately, I tend to believe that most people who do this act out in this way either because they consciously want their single friends to feel inadequate and jealous, OR, at the very least, they're just too wrapped up in their own emotional high to bother to take a moment to think about how their single acquaintances might interpret their statements as insensitive bragging.


Like, if every couple just typed the kind of stuff you did? Valentine's Day would be cool. Unfortunately, a lot of people I've known are considerably more effusive about their romances on Valentine's Day. I'd include examples, but I'm trying to avoid logging on to Facebook again today. Let's just say that a lot of Christian couples I know in particular are very guilty of getting mushy around this time, and it's worse when they do so because they'll often include Bible quotes that seem to indirectly cater a subliminal message of "You should be in a relationship; if you're not in on you're not favored by God / a part of His plan!" Uuuuggghhhh.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/BitVyper/Roboreaction.jpg

[Krylo]

I feel ready for a relationship, but one hasn't happened because reasons Osterbaum.

.

[Nikose Tyris]

I got randomly hugged by two different people and I'm talking to a new lady on Skype after helping her with her homework, I think we have a dinner date tonight.

Also I did not know it was Valentines day until I logged into NPF. I've been busy, there are midterms I am writing.

[PyrosNine]

Snake is 27, still single and a member of said aforementioned evangelical Christian community.
...Thank you for articulating exactly why Snake hates Valentine's Day, PyrosNine.

But they're tied down Snake, and you're a free bird! A FREE BIRD!

Spread your wings and hit up bars, clubs, restaurants, cashiers, next door neighbors, waitresses, Craiglist, and what have you, so when you do have a significant other, you can drive by them with her in your arms, shoot them in the leg, hurl a cardboard heart cut-out at them, and say "St. Valentine never existed."

Then drive away, burning smoke coming from your exhaust as you drive off into the sunset playing Photek's "Sleepwalking" on your radio.

It'll be so noir!

[Osterbaum]

Krylo, it's because of YOU! I'm not over you yet!

[Solid Snake]

Someone needs to explain to me what BitVyper's picture means.

[BitVyper]

You're why people put unnecessary captions on everything.

[Solid Snake]

You're why people put unnecessary captions on everything.

...Are you insinuating that I'm stupid? =/

[CelesJessa]

I've been waiting for the inevitable Valentines Day thread to post my http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/4588/valentineset1.png

Give these to people you admire and they will certainly fall for you.

For Snake: http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/8953/val6.png

[Solid Snake]

Edgar how are you so suave
Also I'm going to assume that's a direct response to my comment in my earlier message to you and giggle over its implications

[BitVyper]

...Are you insinuating that I'm stupid? =/

I am insinuating this. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/BitVyper/Roboreaction.jpg)

[Magus]

What the fuck is this shit and why is it interrupting my celebration of Lupercalia?

I like how Christians replaced a holiday dedicated to spanking naked women in the street in an effort to increase their fertility with a holiday about marital affection.

Such a boner killer.

ANYWAY

The only real way to celebrate Valentine's day is apparently remembering the life and times of Moghul Emperor Babur. Or at least that's what the Uzbekis are saying:
(http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/02/14/146864189/calling-it-alien-uzbek-government-cancels-valentines-day)
If you believe the Uzbek government, today is not a day for love and friendship. Nope.

It is a day to celebrate the Moghul emperor Babur, who celebrates his birthday on Feb. 14. Now this hasn't always been case in the Central Asian country. The BBC reports that in years past, lovers celebrated Valentine's Day by listening to the songs of Rayhan, "a popular singer whose music mixes Eastern melodies with Western pop."

But, this year, Rayhan's show has been cancelled and stores across the country are underplaying the holiday. The BBC explains:

"An official from the education ministry's Department for Enlightenment and Promoting Values said it had issued an internal decree 'not to celebrate holidays that are alien to our culture and instead promote Babur's birthday'.

"The official, who wanted to remain anonymous, said the decree had been in place for a while."

An unnamed government official told the AFP that the holiday was described "as an element of Western mass culture" and they were instructed to celebrate Babur's birthday "with poetic festivals."

The AFP sets the scene:

"Unlike last year, private TV channels, radios and papers made no mention of Valentine's Day, but some young people continued to greet each other to mark the day.

"One of the biggest supermarket chains in the capital Tashkent 'Korzinka.uz' placed a red-yellow picture of the heart at the entrances of its shops without any mentioning of Valentine's Day. ...

'Uzbekistan's government is wary of cultural imports both from the the West as an 'excess of liberalism' and from the Middle East as an 'religious fanaticism'."

Zahir al-Din Muhammad Babur founded the Timurid Mughal empire in India in 1526, and ironically while he's known for his military prowess he became better known for his poetry.

Ironically, Babur's poetry was pretty romantic.

We looked around to see if Babur was a romantic.

And there are certainly romantic flashes. Just look at how he's quoted talking about love in the book Babur: The First Moghul In India:

"Could one love truly? Does love change like the seasons? Are butterflies the emblems of passion — truth — purity. Fluttering from one bloom to the other with unslaked appetites, feeding their hungers with the sweet, sweet nectar of many a virgin flowers."


HOWEVER, his true heart's desire was rather, erm, UNEXPECTED:

But it turns out, his record is mixed. According, to a 2010 Economist piece about Babur, he also wrote lovingly about nature, but he didn't seem to have much luck in the love department.

"Babur was not much interested in women," the Economist reports. "He explains that he had married early, and neglected the girl. He uses that to introduce the subject of his passion for a boy called Baburi whom he sees in the bazaar. Until then, he says, he had 'no inclination for anybody, and no knowledge of love or desire'. His passion for Baburi drives him to distraction. Shyness prevents him from approaching the boy.'"

The Economist says Babur quoted a Persian couplet to describe his feelings for Baburi.

"I am ashamed when I see my friend; My companions look at me; I look the other way," the couplet read.

It's also unclear whether Babur ever made any progress with Baburi.

I expect a glut of Babur/Baburi slashfiction to hit the internet immediately.

[Satan's Onion]

...
Then, the day afterwards Pyros buys a lot of bloody chocolate. Just like every other candy related holiday!

I like the way you think, sir.

Of course, if I absolutely have to celebrate this holiday, I think these express my feelings well enough:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzcgd6oAOR1qb6vjt.jpg

[Seil]

5rQrcRo2XVs6rVOqmcuLY4

[Intern Nin]

Pfft, Seil please. You don't need a youtube video full of helpful tips to score a date with a lady. You just need to print yourself out one of these babies.
http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/adventure_time_valentines_by_cleveravian-d4pmbnc.jpg
You're welcome.

[batgirl]

So I guess it was inappropriate to post the dinner my boyfriend (we are also long distance and this was our first valentine's together in our 4.5 yr relationship) and I made together since it's rubbing your noses in my happiness. Got it.

I read your entire paragraph, seems to me that you're awful bitter. How about you just ignore those postings and don't read them, just like I don't always read your opus level rants?

[Osterbaum]

So I guess it was inappropriate to post the dinner my boyfriend (we are also long distance and this was our first valentine's together in our 4.5 yr relationship) and I made together since it's rubbing your noses in my happiness. Got it.
I'm pretty sure nobody was saying that.

e: Let me put it this way: Do you think your happiness would've been any less if it hadn't have been Valentines day? Like if it was just date you guys agreed to meet on at some point and have a nice time together. Would any of us be bitching about any of this if it wasn't valentines day?

And personally I only have a problem with the holiday.

[batgirl]

I'm pretty sure nobody was saying that.

I read Snake's post that he doesn't enjoy people posting about their valentine's day because it's them being haughty about their happiness. I then assumed that me posting a picture of a valentine's day dinner is something similar.

[Solid Snake]

So I guess it was inappropriate to post the dinner my boyfriend (we are also long distance and this was our first valentine's together in our 4.5 yr relationship) and I made together since it's rubbing your noses in my happiness. Got it.

I read your entire paragraph, seems to me that you're awful bitter. How about you just ignore those postings and don't read them, just like I don't always read your opus level rants?

Did you
Did you just completely misconstrue what I typed into a personal attack against you that did not in fact exist?
And then proceed to attack me under a completely false foundation of logic?
...yyyyuuuppp

Like I'm really not sure how I could have possibly been any clearer about the fact that I wasn't talking about anyone on NPF. Maybe throw in a huge-sized Wall of Text disclaimer listing the names of everyone on NPF who's dating, followed by "This criticism isn't about you?"

And I'll totally concede that I'm bitter, I'm not going to argue against that. I am going to argue that it's kind of douchey of you to personally insult me and then attempt to justify the insult under false pretenses. I mean if I was really like "Batgirl, I fucking hate her," I don't think I'd have sent you a perfectly cute and pleasant little Valentine's Day card that basically-albeit-indirectly expressed that I think you're a cool cat?

[Intern Nin]

I'm not going to read all that tiny text. I'm just going to assume Snake is confessing to being a bitter, wordy young man who hates other's happiness.

Way to ruin spank-butt day, Snake.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Wait how is being in a relationship part f god's plan (re sno akes post earlier). It prety explicit in christian canon and the bible that sex is to be avoided andmarriage is an out for those who can't.
Not being in a relationship is god's plan!

[BitVyper]

Did you just completely misconstrue what I typed into a personal attack against you that did not in fact exist?
And then proceed to attack me under a completely false foundation of logic?

Like, you're happy, we get it! We're happy for you!
But seriously, don't use this holiday as an excuse to type 1,000-word essays about all the amazing things your significant other has done! At that point, the only tangible reason for you to be posting the story publicly is just to revel in the self-congratulatory notion that others will know how content you are.

You literally said that anyone who types a big post about their relationship is guilty of whatever bullshit you're accusing happy people of. And Jesus Christ are your accusations ever bullshit.

[Japan]

This thread is thick soupy shit-sauce.

[phil_]

It prety explicit in christian canon and the bible that sex is to be avoided andmarriage is an out for those who can't.I went into First Corinthians to look for a rebuttal to this, but Paul had to ruin everything by almost word-for-word agreeing with you in chapter 7, verses 7-9.

Even Paul is telling you that it's cool to not be in a relationship, Snake.

[Solid Snake]

Wait how is being in a relationship part f god's plan (re sno akes post earlier). It prety explicit in christian canon and the bible that sex is to be avoided andmarriage is an out for those who can't.
Not being in a relationship is god's plan!

This is not incorrect, except that Christians get away with the "no sex before marriage" deal by instead expecting you to get married quite early, and believing bad things about you must be true if you remain single very long. This reinforces the stereotype within the community that you either like get married by the time you graduate college, or you're going to grow up to become an old maid / old bachelor. (Admittingly this stereotype is like twenty times worse for the women in said communities, I won't pretend I don't have it better than them in terms of this nonsense.)

Like the problem with evangelical Christians regarding sex is that it's simultaneously understood that you must avoid sex before you're married, but also understood that all twenty-somethings have raging sex drives that need to be satisfied, not to mentions that all Christians generally feel compelled to either have children or realize that they're 'not supposed to,' therefore if you're not getting married within a reasonably early timeframe the assumption is:

1: You're trying to date the right Christian women and failing in your efforts because God doesn't want you to be in a relationship for some reason;
2: You're not trying to date the right Christian woman because you've realized that God has not called you to be in a relationship and you're supposed to do something else with your life;
3: You're secretly gay (I've heard this rumor applied to me before);
4: Something fundamental is wrong with your faith or relationship with God, therefore your prayers for a healthy relationship to be fulfilled are not being satisfied because God believes there's something wrong with you personally that needs to be resolved before you'll have success in a relationship.

Like that's the thing with sincerely believing in an omnipotent God who wants you to be in a healthy relationship. Everyone, men and (even moreso) women, feels this tremendous pressure to get hitched -- so you can have sex that God will approve of, so you can have children (God approves of that), so you can be a more productive member of the church -- hell, even leadership roles within the church are like, you get more 'points' or a leg up on acquiring said leadership positions if you're married and/or a parent because it's assumed that means you're a more responsible person.

You see, if God is omnipotent and omni-benevolent and you feel called into a relationship, and you're failing at procuring one over the course of years, that means there must be something wrong with YOU, because it sure as hell can't be God's fault.

Subsequently, if you are 27 and not married (or at least engaged) you are kind of in a shitty situation. Several times I've been seriously asked about my love life by Pastors and other male leadership figures (who are often concerned I am avoiding marriage because I am secretly gay, or avoiding marriage because I am secretly screwing around with secular / non-Christian girls, or going through some deep depression and/or spiritual crisis that explains why God would not want me to be a husband or father.) I've actually had to occasionally exaggerate perceived spiritual failings to justify why God wouldn't want me in relationships at particular moments in my life. It's rather self-defeating.

The worst part is I can criticize the Christian community all I want, but unlike any other community you could belong to, it's not something I can renounce. With most other things if you're like "I dislike these people," the simple answer is to avoid them. If you dislike a hobby, you no longer participate in said hobby. But with Christianity it's like, if you actually believe God exists, independently of your appreciation of the religious institutions in question, you're kind of stuck, man.

[Solid Snake]

You literally said that anyone who types a big post about their relationship is guilty of whatever bullshit you're accusing happy people of. And Jesus Christ are your accusations ever bullshit.

I'm sorry, did Batgirl or anyone else on NPF "type 1,000-word essays about all the amazing things your significant other has done"?

Because if not, how could I possibly make it any more painfully obvious that everything I said did not apply. I even fucking prefaced the entire thing by noting that I wasn't encapsulating Pocheros in there. Did I need a neon sign?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

No but if you are truley righteous you are not supposed to have sex AT ALL or get married.
Marriage sex was just a loophole. If you are good christian you are not supposooded to get married or have sex. Just the old fathers back in the past understood people were weak back in the day so loopholed it.
Tell them you are on the way to sainthood whereas theya are aiming straight at purgatory.

[Nikose Tyris]

Snake, you're doing that thing again.

Do that other thing you're good at where you stop, take a step back and think about things from a different angle, then reapproach at apologetic vectors and restate issues that define exemption to Batgirl.

[Aldurin]

. . . I was gonna post something intelligent and/or stupid but Snake already ruined the thread.

[synkr0nized]

I think maybe it'd be best if we stop ruining CJ's awesome valentine card thread with whatever this all is.

Nice picture, too, Batgirl.

[Osterbaum]

I read Snake's post that he doesn't enjoy people posting about their valentine's day because it's them being haughty about their happiness. I then assumed that me posting a picture of a valentine's day dinner is something similar.
I'm not going to go into Snake's post. I just took offense in a similar way that you tok offense to Snakes post, because I also wrote I didn't like valentines day.

To clarify I'm just sick of the merchandise and tv-shows about valentines day, all the adds and such. And it adds a bit to that that I am not dating right now. I have no problem with couples having a good time.

[CABAL49]

I got to back up Snake. What I have seen in chat and here is that some of you are taking what he said a little too personally. I mean really who gives a shit? Did anyone make any drippy lovely posts? No. It was clear to me that is what Snake was referring to. No one here did what Snake was venting about.

[BitVyper]

Cabal,you've been paying attention to all of two seconds of chat.

Edit: I mean the only person in there not trying to help Snake is me.

[Fifthfiend]

Mods requesting batgirl avchange from singing Voyager doctor to grimacing Voyager doctor, can somebody get me a 300cc injection of Voyager doctor grimacing in response to Snake's posting.

[Revising Ocelot]

Mods requesting batgirl avchange from singing Voyager doctor to grimacing Voyager doctor, can somebody get me a 300cc injection of Voyager doctor grimacing in response to Snake's posting.

Only if you get turned into Riker sans beard.

[Fifthfiend]

I've been waiting for the inevitable Valentines Day thread to post my http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/4588/valentineset1.png

Give these to people you admire and they will certainly fall for you.

For Snake: http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/8953/val6.png

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Fifthfiend]

I just want to like, print them out and...

LICK them

[CelesJessa]

I think maybe it'd be best if we stop ruining CJ's awesome valentine card thread with whatever this all is.

They are indeed awesome, if I do say so myself.

I just want to like, print them out and...

LICK them

I-If you must. But I can't assure they'll help you get any ladies if you give them to people afterwards.

[CABAL49]

Cabal,you've been paying attention to all of two seconds of chat.

Edit: I mean the only person in there not trying to help Snake is me.

I'm not heloing no one. I'm playing games with Smarty.

[CelesJessa]

I just want to like, print them out and...

LICK them

http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/6527/val3.png

[Geminex]

That one is glorious.

[Fifthfiend]

http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/6527/val3.png

Ahahahahaha yessssssssssssssssssssss

[Fifthfiend]

oh god

oh god

do a Cyan and Cyan's dead family one

[synkr0nized]

ha ha ha

[batgirl]

http://splash359.tripod.com/holodoc.jpg

I'm sorry, did Batgirl or anyone else on NPF "type 1,000-word essays about all the amazing things your significant other has done"?

Because if not, how could I possibly make it any more painfully obvious that everything I said did not apply. I even fucking prefaced the entire thing by noting that I wasn't encapsulating Pocheros in there. Did I need a neon sign?

I'd like to think I'm a fairly intelligent human being, and that if it were painfully obvious, I would have noticed. I might be taking it too personally indeed, but when you prefaced it with "this has nothing to do with Pocheros" I assumed it did have something to do with me, since I did just post a picture and was not including in the aforementioned exclusion. A picture which I also assumed you might have taken offense to since it could have been taken as me "rubbing your noses in my happiness."

"Look at my awesome dinner and you all get to eat spaghetti-ohs in front of the rabbit eared tv again, silly single people."

Perhaps I assumed too much and well, we do all know what happens when one does that.

[CABAL49]

see? now we're one big bappy family again. we place games!

[CelesJessa]

oh god

oh god

do a Cyan and Cyan's dead family one

Hahahah oh dear. If I can think of something terrible enough.

In the meantime I'm going to make this thread cute.

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7494/11921591p0.jpg

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/4190/11921591p1.jpg

[Solid Snake]

Nah, Bats, it's my bad. I've been repeatedly told here that I need to stop the overdefensive bullshittery, but despite a conscious acknowledgement of that weakness I still find myself falling into the same traps. And any desire for personal validation and compulsive need to 'be liked' shouldn't ultimately become a crutch for me to use to bat down any criticism of positions I take that are frankly insensitive.

I'm jealous of those who've been fortunate enough to find happy relationships, but any bitterness resulting from said jealousy is really my responsibility to manage, not anyone else's. My only 'defense' is that I really was only targeting acquaintances of mine on Facebook and other social media outlets, and your post had nothing to do with it; had I known you'd take offense, I wouldn't have written what I wrote. While I disavow that intent, I had no excuse to respond the way I did to your very legitimate quarrels with my self-centered argument.

So, I'm sorry.

I'd say something like "I'm leaving NPF for X months to take some time to reflect on my failings / achieve some personal penance" or some similar bullshit, but to be honest that's a trajectory I've walked down before, and I'll be damned but all the breaks I've taken have never worked. In the end, punishing myself with social isolation seems to actually be contradictory to the goal I'm pursuing of becoming less offended during interactions. So I'd just ask for your forgiveness and hopefully I can confront this failing more maturely in subsequent episodes. If I fail too often, the mods can always ban me.

[Magus]

1. FFVI Valentine's cards are awesome, CelesJessa. You made my day.

2. The rest of this thread makes gay Moghul Emperor Babur sad.

[Krylo]

" I don't think I'd have sent you a perfectly cute and pleasant little Valentine's Day card that basically-albeit-indirectly expressed that I think you're a cool cat?[/SIZE]

You sent more people those?

YOU HUSSY!

[Geminex]

We all thought we were special, Krylo.
Turns out Snake is just a slut.

Man, I didn't even get a Mane 6. I got freaking DJ PON-3.

I bet you got, like, Rarity.

[Bobbey]

I got Fluttershy! <3 Thank you Snake ^^.

As for me and valentine's day, didn't do much with my boyfriend. We preferred staying in while I made some burgers and play video games together. We're not fans of this particular ''holiday'' and decided to do what we usually do after a hard day at work. Romantic? I'll let you decide.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Fuck Valentines day.

[Krylo]

I have no idea who I got because I don't watch pony cartoons.

[Aldurin]

I have no idea who I got because I am lame.

FTFY

[Flarecobra]

We all thought we were special, Krylo.
Turns out Snake is just a slut.

Man, I didn't even get a Mane 6. I got freaking DJ PON-3.

I bet you got, like, Rarity.

Gem, Vinyl's fucking AWESOME.

[Seil]

http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/398606_3327520154966_1477306494_3495849_149862617_ n.jpg

[Token]

I got...
what looks like a blue lady gaga pony?

[synkr0nized]

Mine was NOT Raindbow Dash, therefore it was incorrect.

[mauve]

I got Spike!

[Intern Nin]

I got Jack Shit!

[Nikose Tyris]

I didn't get anything. :(

[Osterbaum]

I got Zekora. Enough said.

[pochercoaster]

I got trixie.

[Seil]

I got squat.

[Solid Snake]

You are all so damned spoiled.

If you got a card from me: Congratulations, you're officially one of my 50 bestest friends on NPF, or at least the fifty I chose to send cards to, treasure it always.

If you didn't: I was originally planning to send cards to more people, but eventually tired out after the first hour of sending cards, seriously I didn't have more than an hour's spare time to do that shit.

Yes, maybe some of you 'deserved' cards more than some of the particularly ungrateful people who received them but I ain't no robot. It's not a statement or your worth or lack thereof, more a statement of me reaching a point where I could no longer continue.

There wasn't exactly an explicit formula, though if you wanted to analyze the trends:
* Your odds of receiving a card increased if you're a Mod, because I like to suck up to authority figures who wield the power to ban me.
* Your odds of receiving a card increased if you're actually a friend of Snake's, like you IM him or private-message him or generally give a damn about who he is and how he's doing.
* Your odds of receiving a card increased if you're a huge MLP: FiM fan and I recognized you as such.
* Your odds of receiving a card decreased if you're Nikose because I'm far too jealous of your 'success' with women and to acknowledge your existence on Valentine's Day of all holidays, I mean seriously my message would just result in you responding with some grandiose claims of the three girls you were about to simultaneously seduce I mean uhh some other reason.
* Your odds of receiving a card increased if you're a woman (this really boiled down to a lot of the MLP cards actually explicitly referencing the female gender -- it'd be weird to send a guy a card complimenting him as a 'lady.' Furthermore, I'm a firm believer in chivalry and the notion that no single woman should go through Valentine's Day unnoticed and/or unappreciated.)
* Your odds of receiving the best super-special secret Pinkie Pie card increased if you're Liz because Liz is smexy awesomesauce times infinity.

* Beyond that, I did try to actually 'personalize' the pony / message you received to some extent. For example, I deliberately ensured that Flare would get a Rainbow Dash card (had I known Synk felt similarly I probably would have tried to accommodate that too.) I made sure Bobbey got a Fluttershy card. Rarity's perfect for our resident creative mastermind CJ. Donomni got a Dr. Whooves card that deliberately intended to indirectly suggest we needed to hang out sometime soon, which correlated to an attached message that we needed to get our Soul Eater viewing on. Fenris just reminds me of Twilight Sparkle, like if NPF cast members were cast in the roles of MLP characters, that's who he'd be. Fifthfiend got a card that had a message that included the phrase "the horror!" because he's frightening. Speroni got one of the most overtly romantic cards because <3 <3 Matt. Pocheros got Trixie because she reminds me of Trixie. Synk got Derpy because there was controversy over Derpy's voice sounding 'too manly' in the episode in which she was voiced and I felt that mirrored the whole ambiguous gender thing. Terex got Luna because they're both magical. Geminex got DJ-PON3 because she's awesome-tier what are you thinking bro. CABAL got the Cutie Mark Crusaders because, like a fellow CMC member, he is true friend tier material. Etc. etc.

You see you guys I actually put a lot of thought into this shit

...Crap, in the time it took me to write this I could've just sent 20 more cards out yesterday.

[Aldurin]

...Crap, in the time it took me to write this I could've just sent 20 more cards out yesterday.

This is the kind of bullshit I'm talking about. Instead of using the time to send out more cards, he uses that time to explain why the rest of us failed at being chosen for cards.

Thanks for making everyone else feel like shit.

[Fifthfiend]

Hahahah oh dear. If I can think of something terrible enough.

In the meantime I'm going to make this thread cute.

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7494/11921591p0.jpg

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/4190/11921591p1.jpg

Augh yes more

FFVaIentine's Day 4eva

[Aldurin]

Thanks for ruining Valentines Day, Snake . . .

[Solid Snake]

Thanks for ruining Valentines Day, Snake . . .

=(

Given your attitude though, if it makes you feel any better, even if I sent 20 more cards out yesterday you still would not have gotten one

[Krylo]

if it makes you feel any better, even if I sent 20 more cards out yesterday you still would not have gotten one

Well it makes ME feel better.

[Token]

The further Aldurin is below me the better.

And suddenly I have a new OTP.

[Krylo]

And suddenly I have a new OTP.

I prefer him to be exactly one Token width below me.

Sexy.

[Geminex]

I prefer him to be exactly one Token width below me.

Sexy.

Man, I want in on this. Is there any room for me?

[Krylo]

No.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Thanks for the card, Snake. :)

[Token]

A Token sandwich? Interesting.
I'm not opposed.

[synkr0nized]

I realize now that I may have unintentionally contributed to folks feeling "slighted" or putting extra worry on Snake's shoulders by mentioning that I got one. Sorry about that! I just wanted to give him shit for not making mine at least 20% cooler. ;) My bad, broseph.

[Marc v4.0]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4549162/1329280993445.png

[Intern Nin]

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/tumblr_lzeh5ff4HG1r6cr4mo1_500.gif






Nah, just kidding. Here's a gif for all y'all. Even Snake. And especially the Token sandwich.
http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/Ijustwantedtosay.gif