It's Healthier For Women To Make Their Man Into A Sandwich, Science Says

[Magus]

A new study suggest eating your husband is the most healthy choice you could make. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NIyTcX2tag)

What is more healthful than human flesh? Nothing. Full of protein, and it tastes like pork! Delicious, and, depending on your husband's body-mass index, quite lean. Indeed, there is no substitute for eating your husband. Top the sandwich with romaine lettuce and tomato, and make your own healthful dressing from vinegar and olive oil. Nothing in the world will taste as good.

Soylent Green is people? Well, Spousal Green is your husband on a sandwich.

What I'm saying is, kill your husbands and eat them.

This message brought to you by the Surgeon General of Rapa Nui.

[Bells]

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4364711_700b.jpg

Just... y'know... just make sure you guys have a Backpack with bare minimum at hand

[Dracorion]

Looks like the zombie apocalypse is ahead of schedule.

I'll give you dismemeberment, but how is the guy who threw his intestines at the cops a cannibal?

[Flarecobra]

Why do you think some women are called "Man-eaters?"

[Marc v4.0]

Why do you think some women are called "Man-eaters?"

They can do this really awesome thing with their tongues and...

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Looks like the zombie apocalypse is ahead of schedule.

I'll give you dismemeberment, but how is the guy who threw his intestines at the cops a cannibal?

http://i452.photobucket.com/albums/qq248/UknowMyname72/smoker.jpg

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Whelp guess I better stock up on shotgun rounds and start sharpening my swords.

[stefan]

relevant reading (http://artofmanliness.com/2011/07/11/how-to-make-a-survival-shotgun/).

[Magus]

I can always see myself as the guy who puts all the trouble into making one of those and then the zombie apocalypse comes and I am immediately ambushed while walking to the mailbox, my throat torn open by a slavering ghoul, or am driven off the road by a band of looters and unceremoniously shot to death, my shotgun nestled at home in the gun safe.

The only solution is to carry it strapped to my back everywhere I go. Preparedness!

[Bells]

I'm sticking with the original plan if, somehow, for some magical reason the dead come to rise... i'm hitting for the shore and settling on the first Island i find.

[Mr.Bookworm]

If I get into a zombie apocalypse, I will curl up into a ball and whimper until I am eaten.

I may find the strength within me to ineffectually attempt to commit suicide, most likely failing, and then being eaten.

If I am particularly lucky and brave, I may last as long as a single day, before a combination of my total lack of survival skills, inability to outrun a tortoise, and unpreparedness for a fictional apocalypse, or really anything more dire than a mild thunderstorm, conspire to get me killed by a zombie or a survivor who is much better suited for post-apocalyptic life.

[TDK]

I don't understand this 'disaster turns someone into a useless, gibbering idiot' thing.

Like is it just that they can't handle stress, or?

As far separated as we are from these roots, we WERE bred by nature to fight and hunt and kill in life or death situations, against animals and other people. How can someone be so terrible at such situations (life or death situations) given that?

Like if this happened and I was with a group and someone was doing this? I would start slapping them in their face and telling them to quit being such a goddamn pussy.

Maybe I'm insensitive to people being pussies

[Bells]

Ah! but there is a difference... we have survival instincts, yes. But we are no longer raised in that environment.

As in, i know how to handle a knife. I know how to cause lethal damage with a sharp object. Where to hit, how to hit. And i know in what situations i, as a person, could consider such extreme measures to be a viable course of action...

I, however, has not been raised in a environment where these skills are needed or that i'm expected to be able to use them. Therefor, it's just theory... and coming into a life or death situation i would probably be overflowing with adrenaline and probably a few other body chemicals i don't understand and my senses would be so overloaded i wouldn't be able to make a calculated decision properly.

From an outsider's point of view, i could been seen in a situation where i either kill or get killed, but from my perspective i could see thing in a different like, as in "I need to find a opening to run away or i'm going to die"

Same as if there was some sort of Hypothetical zombie outbreak... hell, let's go realistic, a sudden Civil War erupts. Things are violent, messy and complicated... i know what to do, i know what i need to bring in a bag and i know where i should go to be safe... but in reality, i have to leave my entire family and friends behind to do so and even that only buys me a slim fleeting change against the random nature of events that could force me to rethink everything on the fly multiple times.

So... it's complicated.

[Sifright]

Ah! but there is a difference... we have survival instincts, yes. But we are no longer raised in that environment.

As in, i know how to handle a knife. I know how to cause lethal damage with a sharp object. Where to hit, how to hit. And i know in what situations i, as a person, could consider such extreme measures to be a viable course of action...

I, however, has not been raised in a environment where these skills are needed or that i'm expected to be able to use them. Therefor, it's just theory... and coming into a life or death situation i would probably be overflowing with adrenaline and probably a few other body chemicals i don't understand and my senses would be so overloaded i wouldn't be able to make a calculated decision properly.

From an outsider's point of view, i could been seen in a situation where i either kill or get killed, but from my perspective i could see thing in a different like, as in "I need to find a opening to run away or i'm going to die"

Same as if there was some sort of Hypothetical zombie outbreak... hell, let's go realistic, a sudden Civil War erupts. Things are violent, messy and complicated... i know what to do, i know what i need to bring in a bag and i know where i should go to be safe... but in reality, i have to leave my entire family and friends behind to do so and even that only buys me a slim fleeting change against the random nature of events that could force me to rethink everything on the fly multiple times.

So... it's complicated.


This post above is pretty on the ball. Life or death situations pump you so full of adrenaline it makes rational thinking almost impossible, the right here and now becomes the only thing you care about and it's mega easy to get trapped between fight or flight.

[Amake]

It's not that we turn into gibbering idiots but it seems the process of motivation on the most fundamental level is disabled for most people when a) they're in a group and b) disaster strikes. This is actually useful to pack animals, which we are, because in this state you will do what you're told without any higher brain functions slowing down the process; the voice in your head that makes you do things being replaced (ideally) by the voice of a pack leader. It's not pretty but that's stone age people for you.

[Token]

Whelp guess I better stock up on shotgun rounds and start sharpening my swords.

Awful idea! If this is a blood-borne pathogen, swords, shotguns, and anything that causes "splatter" will be dangerous, unless you are wearing the proper personal protective equipment, or PPE.