Don't trust anyone over 30 or, the screw adulthood thread

[Amake]

Today I had candy for breakfast and played videogames for two hours, read some fantasy and spent about thirty minutes imagining what my life would have been like if I had had a twin sister. Being a grown-up is great as long as you don't have to act grown-up.

What did you do today that as a child you totally didn't think you would still be allowed to do? What are the joys of childhood to you? Which of them are still open to you, and what do you miss? What do you wish you had done that is now too late? Important questions, according to that other thread I just read. Questions that demand our ongoing consideration and participation. Hopefully. Unless I'm thinking about this all wrong.

Me, I miss being able to walk up to a complete stranger and ask if they'd like to play tag/build a sandcastle/be friends/watch a movie/anything. I might be crazy, but I don't think it should be so hard to talk to people on the street. What's up with that?

[walkertexasdruid]

When I was a kid I would run all over the neighborhood and not have any concern for my safety. I do not know if that is feaseble for today's children. I also wish I had not been as shy, because among a group that I was comfortable with I was pretty dynamic, but I had and still have trouble reaching out to new people. I wish I had been more active and played some organized sports, instead of playing video games and reading my books most of the time. I wish that I had a tighter reign on my temper, because I would at times blow up at the slightest provocation. Connected to that I wish I had been able to take criticism much better than I did. I would probably be a happier person if any of these quirks in my personality had been a little modified.

[akaSM]

When I was a kid, I wouldn't have to worry about studying for exams. I haven't studied for a single exam this semester and...I've been getting higher grades compared to those exams I DID study for...

Not studying for exams (college exams even!) doesn't seem like a good idea but, those grades say otherwise ::V:

I miss going to random people's houses, maybe a friend's, a neighbor's or just someone I know, I can still do that but, only if my crazy ever changing schedule allows me to do so. The last time I went to a friend's house was over a year ago >_>

Actually...now that I think about it...I have no idea if I act like an adult or not....

[A Zarkin' Frood]

i spent the day at work and monday i will get up to work my job to earn the money to pay my bills to pay for food to pay for all the things I don't need to pay for being alive and the day after I will wake up to a life worth ending and yet i wont because someone will have to pay for my funeral.

Haha no, life's all right and I'm a child 4 lyfe. Bought the new Muse album today and listening to it right now, later I'll play some video games.

[mauve]

THEN:
When I was a kid, my sister and I made our Barbies secret agents or superheroes or ninja girlscouts (Buy their cookies or be destroyed!!).

We played with Fisher-Price pirates (we had a whole fleet--three or four ships of varying size and a skull-shaped island) that would regularly go to battle with the knights living in the Fisher-Price castle (we discovered you could launch the pirates and knights out of the cannons just as well as the plastic cannonballs) and occasionally be terrorized by the vicious Sea Kitties (all of our plushie cats).

We had a tree house and a tree swing in the back yard that would variably become a fortress for knights or a Tarzan house for our Barbies.

Our mom cut a refrigerator-sized cardboard box in half and made us each a "pirate ship" out of the halves (just fold the top flaps into a V-shaped bow and draw a pirate flag on the back) and we would go to war with each other on the driveway, hurling water balloons at each other in an epic sea battle. We liked pirates before it was cool for girls to like pirates.

We had American Girl dolls-- I had Felicity and my sister had Addy-- that we would make clothes for and scour second-hand stores for things like doll-sized tea sets and furniture and plastic horses they could ride.

When we were a little older, 13-ish or so, the Fisher Price castle became the Castle of Gondor, our PlayMobile figurines became Lord of the Rings characters, and a small ornamental planter shaped like a little gazebo became Rohan. Denethor was always trying to set things on fire. Boromir and Eowyn were secretly plotting to take over the world together. Frodo would blindly run at danger if you told him not to, blaming the Ring. Sam basically just said "NO MISTER FRODO IT'S A TRAP" constantly.

We also had herds of My Little Ponies and Grand Champions that we played with quite often, although the plots from those games of make-believe aren't nearly as memorable.


NOW:
Nowadays I basically just play video games and knit.

...I'd say my childhood was much more fun than adulthood, except for the fact that I was tormented constantly as a kid. I much prefer being an adult, not having to be in middle school or high school anymore. Cuz fuck that shit, man.

Plus now I don't have to be in bed by 9pm so I can get up and go to school.

[PyrosNine]

I used to remember HATING naps, because there was so much I wanted to do each day, play with my giant pile of action figures, enjoy the benefits of having a spacious room to myself, and play with friends from down the street of the cul de sac.

It seems that as the years have gone on I've been stuffed in progressively smaller, more constrictive spaces until I have so little space to actually play with anything but what I can play with sitting in the same spot, and all my "toy" actions are now done entirely in my head as I walk from A to B during the course of my day.

I end up with time, but no time for anything really worthwhile or enjoyable, and thus boredom, and it quickly becomes more pleasant to nap until the worthwhile things happen.

I clearly need to dust off my old box of toys. I mean, i still keep my personal stuffed bears on my bookshelf, so they can taunt me and make judgement when I'm playing games like Bayonetta. It's okay, they can only see, like, half of what I'm doing because my dog seems to hate stuffed animals with left eyes.

When I was little, I'd always play with the more monstrous, uglier toys as being friendly and heroic, defenders of the soft, cuter plushies. I don't know if there was something psychological about it, or if that my selection of toys was pretty poor and I just got used to making do.

Heck, my favored toy for a while was 'Diny", an infantile robotic T-rex that could turn into android more commonly known on the TV and toyline as "Megatron" circa Beast Wars. When I finally realized that the sweet and adorable Diny and the evil bad man from Beast Wars were the same person, I had a funny aneurysm moment.

[Revising Ocelot]

I never thought I would take mid-day sleeps. My father, after work being a boring old accountant, would always crash out on the sofa in front of the TV and snore away. No, I vowed to myself. I would never sink to such debauchery.

...and I never did. I go to bed for my afternoon kips. Hah!


I also thought that at age 24 I wouldn't be stuck at home playing the computah games, but looking after a mother with MND put paid to moving out from about 2009 to last December. And unemployment. Sweet, terrible unemployment.

[RobinStarwing]

I miss being able to stay up all night. I hate being 31. >_>

Now, I got health issues from eating garbage and all sorts of lovely things. Getting old sucks! Youth is wasted on all of you!

[PyrosNine]

Clearly, with so much unemployment going on, we need to all start a business or something. Like an NPF store. Buncha people with free time, internet access, net savvy, and in need of money.

We would either sell typical Think Geek style fare, or alternative power solutions.

[RobinStarwing]

Clearly, with so much unemployment going on, we need to all start a business or something. Like an NPF store. Buncha people with free time, internet access, net savvy, and in need of money.

We would either sell typical Think Geek style fare, or alternative power solutions.

Hell! I would be on board with this!

[Amake]

Oh no, you turned it into a let's do something together NPF-thread. Now it's going to have like, six hours of wild planning and then never be posted in again.

Or who knows, maybe this is the one that'll stick. I have one idea, we can co-write a collective memoir of dysfunctional people. I'm already seeing a lot of read-worthy stories in this thread.

Title ideas:
The Nuklear Family
The Consequences of Childhood
Where Dick Jokes Fear to Tread
Less of a Hellhole than Many Other Internet Communities
Behind the Warbot
Videogames, Sarcasm, Drinking and You: A Beginner's Guide to Communicating with Image Macros

[PyrosNine]

As an adult, I learned the value of working with others productively Amake. It's just that as a kid I learned I hated everybody and they couldn't be trusted, only my stuffed animals could. But then my stuffed animals didn't come with me to college, and then I was forced to do a lab project with a no-show! But then, just as I was going to live under a rock or something because no man or mortal would ever work with me in a manner conducive to success! Until one day, I stormed a group project, executed the reigning authority, grasped each member of the group by their metaphorical balls, and we got an A+! In History of Technology of all places, using only post-it notes and a whiteboard!

You see Amake, we can all learn to live and love again.

Also, all NPF ever wanted was a 8-bit/NPF game using final fantasy sprites, which explains why they never came to fruition! They were made out of boredom and unwarrantedly high hopes, and had no chance to survive!

Today however, we have DESPERATION. DESPAIR-ATION. It'll either work or we'll die poor.

I am all for writing "The Nuklear Family" though. I'll write the chapter about being the poor, abused starving housecat if Flare will write about being that one type of cat owner who puts their cat in a clothesdryer for the lulz.

[Nikose Tyris]

I actually really liked that one idea about putting together some sort of plan to buy a small summer thing stateside, so that could be a thing I guess.

I've always been partial to the concept of making a network of people in various countries who can print and ship things locally, to cut back on delivery costs of selling comics around the world. That's totally lame though. It's just a pipe dream I've had in the back of my head for ages and ages.

[PyrosNine]

That would actually be a pretty good idea, Nik. Indie international publishing. Someone wants to get their comic out there, finds someone out there and afar who can print and publish, and simply sends their comic down a pipeline. It's then that person's job to find a vendor or sale locally, sending profits back down the pipeline.

[CABAL49]

I just feel tired all the time with never ending responsibility. I get so sucked into what I am doing I neglect family and friends.

[Aerozord]

I care little for age so basically just do the same things.

Though I do miss the days I could LARP in public with my friends without getting strange looks. One thing I learned about society is the older you get the more people judge you. A little kid that does strange things is a wonderful creative individual, an adult that does strange things is a freak that should be ostracized for not following cultural norms

[PyrosNine]

I hate the fact that whenever I'm called to do anything "adult" or "responsible" that adults have to do every day of their lives, so casually there is no "how to", I can't help but feel that I"m failing at the task, or sub par at it.

Pumping gas at the pump is harder than it looks. Also, buying groceries. And using men's public restrooms, especially the urinals. And being polite on the elevator, and ordering drinks at a bar, and just plain buying anything anywhere there is a cashier.

I sometimes wonder if either I'm defective or everyone else has these problems and are just alot better at faking being good at them. Maybe adulthood is just one big act, and the so called "mature" adults that we use as role models have just been playing the part long enough to completely fool us all, straight into their death beds.

Well played Joby Jull, well played.

[phil_]

Pumping gas at the pump is harder than it looks. Also, buying groceries. And using men's public restrooms, especially the urinals. And being polite on the elevator, and ordering drinks at a bar, and just plain buying anything anywhere there is a cashier.Wait, I can do all that stuff competently…

Don't you dare call me mature for this!

[mauve]

Pumping gas at the pump is harder than it looks. Oregon and New Jersey have laws where it's illegal to pump your own gasoline. Move there-- Problem solved.


I actually have no idea how to pump gasoline because of that. Whenever I visit other states I look like an idiot.

[PyrosNine]

But then I'd have to move to Joysey, and if I move to Oregon my entire family will die of smallpox, and/or drown in a river! Shyria has proven this!

[phil_]

You put the nozzle in the hole and press the button for the grade you want. You don't even have to do it in that order. Explain your difficulty that I might understand.

[PyrosNine]

How do you know when it's done? Sometimes it will make the "kaklunk' sound like your tank is full, and that it's stopped pumping, but then when you pull it out THE GAS keeps coming out! And it spills on the side of your car, on your feet, and even when you try and y'know, wait for it to be empty, there's alway some left.

And then as you're driving off, you can't help but fear that someone's going to carelessly drop a cigarette on the exact spot you spilled gas, and your entire neighborhood is going to explode in flames, just because of you and your inefficient gas getting.

And getting parked close enough that you don't have to fight to get the hose in, yet far enough away from the pump to have to squeeze in there to select your gas and swipe your card. You can kind of spend a bit of time adjusting your car's placement, but you can't do it too long or everyone will notice how awkward you are so you end up making one last adjustment and and now you have to stretch the hose to get it into your car.

And of course, now that I have a European car, I have to remember to pull alongside the pump from the opposite side than I would in my mom's American car.

And then, is it kosher to walk into the gas station to buy something, or should I start my car first and move it into a parking spot so someone else can use my pump? But isn't that a waste of gas? But what if I take forever deciding what flavor of doritos I want with my sun-drop, and all the pump get used so someone has to wait for gas?

Also, what should I do to clean off the gasoline or at least remove the spilled gasoline smell from my car?

I THINK I, PYROS NINE OF ALL PEOPLE NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL AROUND GASOLINE.

[Arcanum]

Ummm... you stop squeezing the handle before you pull the nozzle out of your car. If, for some reason, the gas is still flowing, you should let the folks at the gas station know because that's kind of a serious problem.

Then again, I am compelled to round my gas cost to the nearest 50 cents (since I pay per liter it's easy) and squeeze the handle an extra few times until the price is rounded. So that might affect any "leftover" gas in the nozzle spilling out. But I doubt it.

Also, at all the gas stations around here they watch you like a hawk and will shut down the pump if they see you with a cigarette or a cellphone or if you look under the legal driving age.

[rpgdemon]

Then again, I am compelled to round my gas cost to the nearest 50 cents (since I pay per liter it's easy) and squeeze the handle an extra few times until the price is rounded. So that might affect any "leftover" gas in the nozzle spilling out. But I doubt it.

That's really bad, and you need to stop doing it. "Topping off" your tank after the pump has stopped is dangerous, and less importantly, it can also damage your car.

But yeah, pumping gas is easy. The first time I ever pumped gas was in the middle of a rainy cold drizzly day, my hands were numb, and I had no idea what I was doing, but I managed to get it to work easily. Just follow the instructions, and stop pumping when the pump shuts off. I have no idea how you're spilling gas on yourself, but you shouldn't be holding the trigger thing down after it stops pumping.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Man if you want a business, everyone should fund my homeopathy practice. Instead of normal shit water like homeopaths use I'm going to use Milli-Q type water which is basically just water. Instead of doing shitting little manual shaking mixes like they do, I'm going to sonicate shit. I will make the most homeopathic medicines ever know.

[Meister]

Zoolander was not an instructional video, dude.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I dun get it.

[walkertexasdruid]

I wish I could find a job where I do not have to deal with so many unpleasant people, especially if one or two of those people have authority over me. I dealt with that for a year until I trnasfered to another store i July, but there is always a chance that I will have to take orders from another jerk sometime in the future.