The How-To guide to kill all things magical and beastly by Bells

[Bells]

1- is the creature a Hydra or Hydra-like type of creature?

If it is, skip to 3, if not, proceed to 2

2- Slice it`s head off with a silver blade.

3- knock it out comically and run.

addendum to 3: The Hydra Overload Paradox.

each time you slice the head of an Hydra, another or sometimes 2 grow back in it`s place. If your type of Hydra is of the first type, just proceed normally. If it`s the "1 for 2" type, slice it`s head off continually, forcing it to sprout countless new heads. Eventually, the number of eyes, ears, noses, brains, blood flow and thought processes will overload the creature, forcing itself into a comma.

Proceed to become the very best like no one ever was. ::V:

[Amake]

Alternatively to kill a hydra, cut off its tail. ::V:

But let's try a harder problem, like killing a were-thunderbird. You can write off any weapons made of conductive metals, since its lightning is going to melt them and electrocute you. It's safe to assume it produces magnetic fields strong enough to bend most any matter or radiation around it out of shape; even the heat and shockwave of a nuclear weapon may be deflected with magnetic fields strong enough. And this is a godlike mythological beast out of ancient America, so I wouldn't make any bets about the limitations of its power. Expect the full set of reality-warping powers of the Freakangels, if anyone remembers them.

And it's probably really pissed off at the state of the environment and the genocide of Native Americans. Heck, I'm happy I'm on another continent and I just made up this creature myself.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Why would you slice off the head of a creature that is well known for growing more heads when one is cut off? Why not just stab it in the brain, or shoot it, or poison it, or burn it alive, or knock it off a cliff, preferably onto large spikes covered in poison.

[Aldurin]

If fighting a fire elemental, skip to step B.

A. Burn it.

B. Burn it harder.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Otherwise if near a bed of water (Pool,river,lake, waste, sewers, shoreline, All of Finland, Italy,ect) simply lure it towards the water (cursing works wonders, as does calling it's mother names) then spam grenades till it falls in. You may subsitute the grenades for any powerful explosive, I recommend C4.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

If something something skip to step 2

2. Whatever.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

If during a sever thunder storm, stab a long metal rod into one of it's heads.

Then sit back and watch the light show that follows. Be sure to be a good distance away, else you'll be some homeless guy's well cooked meal.

[RobinStarwing]

Kill Nidhogg

[Kyanbu The Legend]

How to kill a Phoenix.

Step 1. Defeat a Pheonix using any combination of bullets, sharp swords, water, and liquid Nitrogen.

Step 2. Move it's ashes to anywhere deep under water in a titanium alloy cage.

Eventually it'll give up and just stay dead.

[Aldurin]

How to kill a Phoenix.

Step 1. Defeat a Pheonix using any combination of bullets, sharp swords, water, and liquid Nitrogen.

Step 2. Move it's ashes to anywhere deep under water in a titanium alloy cage.

Eventually it'll give up and just stay dead.

Have another Pheonix eat the ashes for a more spectacular result.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

I've got a target for you.

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/121012-christmas-creep-vmedgrid-4x2-1.jpg

How do you put this thing down?

[Kyanbu The Legend]

With an Ozzy, followed up by 100 lbs of C4, in an oil refinery.

[RobinStarwing]

With an Ozzy, followed up by 100 lbs of C4, in an oil refinery.

No, we either need a 20 gram Anti-Matter bomb or a Vacuum Energy bomb the size of a light bulb.

[rpgdemon]

With an Ozzy, followed up by 100 lbs of C4, in an oil refinery.

http://i.imgur.com/qnuGN.jpg ?

[mauve]

I've got a target for you.

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/121012-christmas-creep-vmedgrid-4x2-1.jpg

How do you put this thing down?

It appears to be some sort of offshoot of the chimera family; one of the holiday-themed hybrid varieties. Those can be tricky.

I suggest fire.

[Arcanum]

burn it alive

A. Burn it.

B. Burn it harder.

I suggest fire.

Not sure why this thread is still open. It looks like all the bases are already covered.

[Sithdarth]

Step 1: Refill your prescriptions
Step 2: Actually take the pills
Step 3: See a better psychiatrist

If that doesn't work you might actually need some fire.

[Aldurin]

Burn the pills?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Fuck this fucking 101: Intro to Shit course, let's rocket right to the graduate level- lay down some beats we can actually use.
How do you kill this motherfucker
http://nuklearforums.com/image.php?u=15332&dateline=1173610163

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Implode the Universe, it's the only way.

[RobinStarwing]

Implode the Universe, it's the only way.

Why stop there?

LET'S IMPLODE THE FUCKING MUTLIVERSE!!!!!

[Flarecobra]

It's simple really: Deny that target booze of any kind.

[Bells]

Why stop there?

LET'S IMPLODE THE FUCKING MUTLIVERSE!!!!!

Implode?

i...think that would only create a new single threaded universe.


It's simple really: Deny that target booze of any kind.

...and i'm reminded of this...

ct0GKcsZpdc

[Magus]

If you cut off a Hydra's head you immediately cauterize the stump with a torch, this is basic Herculean shit here people.

[Bells]

So all we need is Herculean super strength and a light saber!!!

[Magus]

So all we need is Herculean super strength and a light saber!!!

Mystic fire sword, etc.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Here's a couple blasts from the past for you.

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/NonConavatarOHGODWAT3.jpg

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/WUT2.jpg

How do you put these things down for good?

[RobinStarwing]

Here's a couple blasts from the past for you.

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/NonConavatarOHGODWAT3.jpg

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/WUT2.jpg

How do you put these things down for good?

Simple...

wSJlvdlTL0o

[Flarecobra]

It counters by being immune to all magics.

Keep in mind, this is the Ultimate Mary-sue we're talking about.

[RobinStarwing]

It counters by being immune to all magics.

Keep in mind, this is the Ultimate Mary-sue we're talking about.

The Giga Slave unfortunately is the embodiment of an Eldritch Abomination that created four universes. It destroys even that which is immune to magic and if it goes out of control...has the ability to wipe out a whole universe.

So in short, clashes of the Unstoppable Forces.

[PyrosNine]

YOU KILL IT WITH FIRE.

If fire fire doesn't work, you use dragonfyre. If Dragonfyre doesn't work, you use soulfire. If soul fire doesn't work, you use Hellfire.

If Hellfire doesn't work, you use plain fire again, and see if it that catches it off guard.

If all else fails....Fist of the Nose Hair + Wiggin out. Defeats everything.

Especially weak arm chop.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Guys, say. How would you kill this thread?

[McTahr]

Guys, say. How would you kill this thread?

Say something that actually causes a moderator to cringe so hard they suffer an aneurysm. Surprisingly it's either not as hard as you think, or impossibly difficult, purely depending on who you are as a person.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

That would solve NOTHING. Mods are powerless here, even though you think you aren't. This is something bigger than you think and to stop it a mere locking of the thread would not be enough. It might buy us time, it might even last until we're all dead. But we can't just think of ourselves. That's how 100 year return cycles of dudes like Dracula are born. And you don't want that to happen, right?

[CABAL49]

Man, I'll take down everything the same old fashioned way. I've punched out Metal Gears, Deathclaws, Ancient gods, Diabolo, Diablo II the Diabloing, aliens. You name it, I have punched it.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Your new name is punch man.
Live it.

[McTahr]

Man, I'll take down everything the same old fashioned way. I've punched out Metal Gears, Deathclaws, Ancient gods, Diabolo, Diablo II the Diabloing, aliens. You name it, I have punched it.

I feel like you're channeling Brick here.

"The [X] was no match for my secret punch-you-in-the-face-until-you-die strategy."

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Man, I'll take down everything the same old fashioned way. I've punched out Metal Gears, Deathclaws, Ancient gods, Diabolo, Diablo II the Diabloing, aliens. You name it, I have punched it.

Whoa look out, we got a badass here.

[RobinStarwing]

I dare you to punch out Reinforce Eins!

[PyrosNine]

I recall punching out the entirety of castle CastleVania with Soma's fists, ensuring that Dracula couldn't resurrect himself with Soma because Soma was inherently more awesome.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Punching things to death? This man (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhBiNx749Zw) can show you how to do it properly.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Man, I'll take down everything the same old fashioned way. I've punched out Metal Gears, Deathclaws, Ancient gods, Diabolo, Diablo II the Diabloing, aliens. You name it, I have punched it.

But have you punched yourself?

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Ah, that's a good question, Shyria.

Cabal I'm curtain that you've yet to defeat yourself yet. The ultimate foe, the only man to challenge your power.

[RobinStarwing]

I have defeated myself many times. It's just I keep coming back for more.

I must be a masochistic asshole.

[CABAL49]

I feel like you're channeling Brick here.

"The [X] was no match for my secret punch-you-in-the-face-until-you-die strategy."

That really was the reason I played as him in Borderlands. Sniper? Nope. Soldier? Nope. Space witch? Nope. Explode things with my fists? Can't go wrong.

As for Mr. Robbaz, punching things was the best in Morrowind. But I don't use weapons in Skyrim. But I have been considering getting a few mods to make it better.

But of course I punch myself. Who else would be a worth opponent?

[RobinStarwing]

I think we need to worry about killing this thread. (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=42191)