"Give Yourself Advice With A Magical Time Machine" or "Jesus Christ Superstar!"

[Seil]

Because - when you think about it - he is the worlds first super star (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-voeq7Cebo). Never mind that I'm in musical mode (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmHekGAO080), and I've been watching Little Shop (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0kSBiu1IGk), Young Frankenstein (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHeBsirDNJo) and Evil Dead (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SJM7wrNCrY) for the past while.

So hey! You've got a Magical Time Machine™! (You can list what it is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sLnnjHjDgE).) Isn't that totally rad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe5sYP0aiZ8)? But here's what you're going to use it for: advice. You're going to choose one age (it's a one-time thing, dears.) that you were (and I know most people here are like, thirty, or otherwise ancient (http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/avatars/dynomike1991_1366847523_140.jpg)) and give yourself advice on three things:

1) A person.
2) A place.
3) A thing.

You may tell your younger self to not date that psycho bitch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWLy0LS6G3c). You may tell yourself to but that sports car (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xW8j3x3GzxY). You may tell yourself to travel to Mexico (http://www.pqbnews.com/news/177997271.html) when you have the chance. Anything. Just post it here in as much detail as you would like. It's like a phone call from the future! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKouK8W417A)

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

Don't take the job, it's too good to be true. Wait it out.

[Azisien]

I'm actually pretty happy with my life and don't think I need time travel to change anything about it, especially because I can't truly understand the causal ramifications that may occur. For instance, my change might kill me. Although I've done a lot of things in my life I might have some regrets about doing, overall I've always iterated to making myself a better person. My experiences and skillsets have all grown, maybe not in one field of expertise, but in quite a few. So I COULD for instance say, hey, travel back in time and never study biology, just jump right into computer science. Then I could be a slightly younger, slightly hipper version of myself in a field it turns out I enjoy more. But nah, fuck it. Rolling with it.

So final answer, I time travel to 2004, when I graduated high school.
1) "Snape kills Dumbledore"
2) Start going to Chez Lucien (http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/250/1346728/restaurant/ByWard-Market-Lower-Town/Chez-Lucien-Ottawa) sooner, it's incredible.
3) That GIC you were about to set up? All on Google.

[tacticslion]

I'm actually pretty happy with my life and don't think I need time travel to change anything about it, especially because I can't truly understand the causal ramifications that may occur. For instance, my change might kill me. Although I've done a lot of things in my life I might have some regrets about doing, overall I've always iterated to making myself a better person. My experiences and skillsets have all grown, maybe not in one field of expertise, but in quite a few. So I COULD for instance say, hey, travel back in time and never study biology, just jump right into computer science. Then I could be a slightly younger, slightly hipper version of myself in a field it turns out I enjoy more. But nah, fuck it. Rolling with it.

So final answer, I time travel to 2004, when I graduated high school.
1) "Snape kills Dumbledore"
2) Start going to Chez Lucien (http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/250/1346728/restaurant/ByWard-Market-Lower-Town/Chez-Lucien-Ottawa) sooner, it's incredible.
3) That GIC you were about to set up? All on Google.

I had a dream about this once.

I accidentally invented time travel. I went back in time to when I was very young. I told myself all about the important decisions I would make, how to make them, and why. I told myself all about my own mistakes and regrets and why. Then I ceased to exist.

My self-2 self (as it were) then proceeded to make none of the mistakes I had made. They were wealthy, independent, popular, powerful, and well-known. Extremely intelligent, my self-2 had studied everything and learned it fairly well (but specializing in a few really fun things), using the techniques I'd taught me back then. And then I (re-)invented time travel.

I went back in time to when I was very young. I told myself all abou the important decisions I would make, how to make them, and why. I told myself all about my own mistakes and regrets and why. Then I ceased to exist.

My self-3 self (as it were) then proceeded to make none of the mistakes my self-2 self had made. And... my self-3 became an ever-so-slightly "better" version of my self-1 self. They were basically me, with a few less regrets, even though they made most of the right choices. As a result, my self-3 version of my self never invented time travel. Never wanted to.

When I woke up, I pretty much realized exactly what Azisien said: I was really happy with my life. My "regrets" really weren't. There were things I kind of wish I'd done differently, sure. I suppose if I had the chance, I would. But by and large? I don't really regret my major life decisions.

I'd probably study a little bit more. Exercise a little bit more. Be nicer sometimes than I have been. Avoid pornography on the internet when I was in highschool. That sort of thing.

But anyway, I'll choose three things:
1) Exercise, and don't stop. Eat well, and don't stop. Veggies are awesome.
2) Be nice, kind, and loving. Keep telling people about Heaven and the Lord. Love Him with all of yourself, and love your neighbor as yourself. And for the love of everything be more humble.
3) Also, there's this amazing girl waiting for you in college. Ignore everything you will ever see on the internet, tv, your friends' magazines, and other stuff, and, starting right now, choose to love this girl. She'll reject you for about a semester because she thinks you're arrogant. She's right. Be humble and persistent (but not insistent - show patience). She's totally worth it. (And still is!)

Sorry that's kind of out of order and blended together a bit.

[Seil]

1) It's going to end. It's partly your fault, they'll convince you that all of it is, but be prepared to move on.

2) Montreal is the place to be.

3) Don't get one.

[Aerozord]

lotto numbers

[Overcast]

At the age of 18 I was ambitious, willful, and happy. These things would very quickly end after a period of time, but I think with a few minor choices I could fix that.

1. Go to fucking Montreal to their annual fetish convention this year and hit on the cutest Japanese vampire boy you can find.(Person and place!)
2. The Navy is ultimately a bad choice. (Thing.)

[Aldurin]

Stock options. And also to take personal control of an industry where one side of the competition ranges between delusional and retarded.

[Magus]

1.) Read that note she gave you, don't throw it in the trash
2.) Don't eat at that place, you'll get food poisoning
3.) Pick a different major/career

[Revising Ocelot]

1) Don't bother.

I don't really need any others, that's kinda a catch-all solution to everything in life.