BB
03-14-2015, 04:41 PM
So here's the deal- you're wandering your local desert, as you are wont to do, when you stumble upon a magic lamp. Being the sort who's heard the stories, you naturally give it a rub and a genie pops out. He's not one of these evil genies who wants to twist your wishes into grim, dark corruptions in order to teach you some macabre lesson- the monkey-paws salesman has that market cornered. This genie is legit. However, the rules have changed a lot since Aladdin’s days and the Genie Convention has decided to place a few restrictions on the wishes they can grant.
-The First Wish must be minor. On the small scale, affecting you or your local area in a small way. “I wish I always got the cereal box prize”? Totally fine. “I wish there were never queues at the local shop”? Acceptable. “I wish to never be in a traffic jam”? Maybe pushing it. World peace is totally out of the question.
-The Second Wish must be a selfish wish, affecting you directly. It can have an effect on others too, but it has to be primarily to your benefit. You can wish for something as grandiose as super powers if you want, but remember he's a genie, not a fantasy-make-truer. (Unless... you wish for that, I guess.) Point is, you still have to deal with the consequences of your wish in the real world. Being the richest person in the world sounds great until you factor in all the taxes.
-The Third Wish must conversely be selfless... To a degree at least, since a lot of selfless wishes will probably benefit you too, but it must be made with others in mind, or be of neutral effect to anyone generally (“I wish grass was purple” would qualify because you don't really gain anything from that). World peace goes here, but so does “everyone has super powers”. It doesn't have to be so large-scale of course- “I wish the library in town stayed open later” would definitely benefit the community! Similar to the second wish though, the consequences of the wish have to be dealt with in the real world. “I wish my significant other's favourite sports team always won” would count, but how long would that last before accusations of cheating arose? Can you imagine the state of internet message boards for, like, a month afterwards? Okay, no, you can't pick that one. Genie's prerogative.
There's a caveat, and he makes you sign in triplicate to ensure you understand. Over the centuries, genies all over the world have encountered no end of smartasses. They've heard every possible “more wishes” gambit, and know every permutation of the “don't grant this wish” trick. At the latest Genie Convention they agreed to add a clause to the Genieing Contract:
'Any genie, upon hearing a smartass answer, may choose to interpret it at their own discretion as “I wish every time I tried to talk, I burped instead”. '
He advises you to think carefully whether or not your answers are in the same spirit as the thread- er, I mean, offer.
-The First Wish must be minor. On the small scale, affecting you or your local area in a small way. “I wish I always got the cereal box prize”? Totally fine. “I wish there were never queues at the local shop”? Acceptable. “I wish to never be in a traffic jam”? Maybe pushing it. World peace is totally out of the question.
-The Second Wish must be a selfish wish, affecting you directly. It can have an effect on others too, but it has to be primarily to your benefit. You can wish for something as grandiose as super powers if you want, but remember he's a genie, not a fantasy-make-truer. (Unless... you wish for that, I guess.) Point is, you still have to deal with the consequences of your wish in the real world. Being the richest person in the world sounds great until you factor in all the taxes.
-The Third Wish must conversely be selfless... To a degree at least, since a lot of selfless wishes will probably benefit you too, but it must be made with others in mind, or be of neutral effect to anyone generally (“I wish grass was purple” would qualify because you don't really gain anything from that). World peace goes here, but so does “everyone has super powers”. It doesn't have to be so large-scale of course- “I wish the library in town stayed open later” would definitely benefit the community! Similar to the second wish though, the consequences of the wish have to be dealt with in the real world. “I wish my significant other's favourite sports team always won” would count, but how long would that last before accusations of cheating arose? Can you imagine the state of internet message boards for, like, a month afterwards? Okay, no, you can't pick that one. Genie's prerogative.
There's a caveat, and he makes you sign in triplicate to ensure you understand. Over the centuries, genies all over the world have encountered no end of smartasses. They've heard every possible “more wishes” gambit, and know every permutation of the “don't grant this wish” trick. At the latest Genie Convention they agreed to add a clause to the Genieing Contract:
'Any genie, upon hearing a smartass answer, may choose to interpret it at their own discretion as “I wish every time I tried to talk, I burped instead”. '
He advises you to think carefully whether or not your answers are in the same spirit as the thread- er, I mean, offer.