Guess One: Ultima-Java has become super popular, has won a bunch of awards, and you wanted to name me in your acceptance speeches as someone who had absolutely nothing to do with any of it so people should stop associating me with your intellectual property rights?

Guess Two: You're moving to Canada and need me to provide a reference of character?

Guess Three: You want to challenge me at Dissidia: Final Fantasy?

Guess Four: You're pregnant, you're not sure if it's mine, and you want to go on Maury Povich to find out?