You can't see it anymore because of my beard, but there's a little dent on my cheek from where someone stabbed me clear through. I used to have one on my stomach from where I was almost impaled in a bike accident, but after about six years, that one cleared up.

I've got little ones here and there, but I don't usually pay them much mind. I run and leap and climb around a lot, so one single silly thing I did isn't very memorable. It's actually pretty surprising that I've never broken anything.

When I was a child, I once jumped off a shed and landed on a rake I hadn't noticed. In true cartoon fashion, I got smacked in the face. Unlike in cartoons, however, the impact drove my front lower teeth through the bottom part of my lower lip, and I now have an almost-birdshaped scar there.

I've got a scar on my left leg from surgery where a growth declared potentially hazardous was removed. Hair has rendered it nearly invisible now, though.

I've got a half-centimeter, circular scar from when I tore a small chunk of my right arm open on an exposed nail in a lake dock.

Also, a fair number of little scratch scars and the like from cats.

I actually also have a small cross-shaped scar on my left cheek. I don't know where that's from and I've had it as long as I can remember.

I've had this weird lightning bolt-shaped scar on my forehead ever since I was a baby. Dunno what the deal is there but on a completely unrelated note this fucking owl infestation at my house has to go.

My first notable scar ever was when I was about 10. I was riding my bike down my old street and, due to being a clumsy foolish kid, somehow slipped, getting my calf caught in the still moving bike chain. It took 8 or 9 decent chunks out, but was surprisingly painless! It left a scar for years but it's mostly gone now.

My latest scar is actually a decent burn, and god damn it, I wish I had it for a good reason. It's a nearly 2 inch long burn scar on my arm, and from what? I was taking a goose out of the oven and touched the inside of the oven briefly.

The goose was delicious, but not worth a probably permanent arm scar.

I flipped a car and took two chunks out of my left arm.

This is why you lie about it.

"I got it in a knife fight with a Brazillian rape gang in defense of a nun."

A FIRE knife fight!

He's a WITCH!

I call shenanigans. You seriously looked down and were like, "Oh hey, there's large chunks of calf muscle curiously absent from my leg. Hm. This is an interesting development which may warrant further intervention such as to assure that my foot does not fall off."?

Shock will do that to a man.