The Warring States of NPF

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The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk 05-25-2010 10:30 AM

I thought you just lasso'd them and dragged them back to your cave?? Maybe that's where I've been going wrong though?


Yeah but seriously, don't listen to me, I'm even worse at this shit that you might be. The only thing I know from my failed attempts with women is to tell them straight up and don't wait so damn long. Though how you go about that in a reasonable way I still do not know.

Professor Smarmiarty 05-25-2010 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Osterbaum (Post 1043886)
Rather, be more like SMB.

Let's not kid ourselves, we all know who the alpha-male around here is.

First ever(?) serious post by me: Don't stress about it. Just do it. If ou have to put on airs or crazy shit to impress her then relationship not going to work anyway. It's not a big deal- don't make it into one.
Unless you just looking to bang her. Then do whatever it takes to trick her. Or use my method- it 100% guaranteed by me. Normally I charge for it.

Terex4 05-25-2010 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants (Post 1043898)
Let's not kid ourselves, we all know who the alpha-male around here is.

First ever(?) serious post by me: Don't stress about it. Just do it. If ou have to put on airs or crazy shit to impress her then relationship not going to work anyway. It's not a big deal- don't make it into one.
Unless you just looking to bang her. Then do whatever it takes to trick her. Or use my method- it 100% guaranteed by me. Normally I charge for it.

Its true. You only get one chance to make a first impression, don't lie.

Keep it simple. Mexican food is ideal for a lunch break as its normally quicker to fix and eat than American. Ask her if she wants to go get lunch, if she says no, try again next week. If its a no again then drop it. Either she's rejecting you at that point, or she's got a legit reason why she couldn't go both times and will ask you later.

Azisien 05-25-2010 11:42 AM

Just tear off your shirt to reveal your hairy lumberjack chest. Having a beard and/or moustache will help success rates.

Professor Smarmiarty 05-25-2010 12:03 PM

Wrestling a bear is the proper approach

krogothwolf 05-25-2010 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants (Post 1043907)
Wrestling a bear is the proper approach

Well, you do have to win, so Bob might want to wrestle a tame Bear instead so he doesn't risk the losing factor. Chick's may dig scars, but it's hard to dig half a face missing.

He could also mount a Calvary charge against a superior enemy. Go Light Brigade!

Azisien 05-25-2010 12:11 PM

You don't deserve a date if you can't beat the bear, though. I don't see the flaw in SMB's approach.

krogothwolf 05-25-2010 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azisien (Post 1043909)
You don't deserve a date if you can't beat the bear, though. I don't see the flaw in SMB's approach.

Yeah, but I like Bob and don't want to see him mauled to death. It'd be sad. And not everyone is a manly man like SMB here, or Canadians.

Mesden 05-25-2010 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob the Mercenary (Post 1043717)
The town I work in is predominantly hispanic, so is she. =) She's lived there most of her life and probably knows a place, I could ask if there's anywhere she'd prefer. Because I don't think I could play off decisiveness as far as Mexican eateries go.

Or maybe asking is taboo? Hmm...I'm surprised no women have posted yet LOLing at me. I was waiting for Mesden to come in and say "just fucking ask her."

I would but I don't want you to procreate.

Nah I'm just playing with you. Ask her out to whatever you think is appropriate. Be flexible, it's really common for someone to reject the idea of when and where off the bat. Different tastes and all.

Rejected Again 05-25-2010 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants (Post 1043907)
Wrestling a bear is the proper approach

You guys remember that Bob here is 5'2" ish?

Ok Bob, here is the Rejected Man's Guide on how to do this(believe it or not, it is good advice!)

1) PICK A FUCKING PLACE ALL READY!
This, as stated before, does show your decisive. It also shows that you know what you want, and to a woman that is normally a big plus. The proper place is something like: Perkins, IHOP, or Red Robbin(maybe). Now if you ask her out for a drink, do not go back to the same club. Take her out to a more classy joint, as she will see this as more of a date than a simple lunch.

2) Be polite, but also yourself.
Do NOT act like a total asshole or someone you are not, unless your Krylo. In which case you just a prick, and should act accordingly. Once again, like Nikose stated, if you act like a different person she will feel lied to and then you have a major issue, her not wanting to be around you. So, just be the normal love able Bob.

3)On the Date.
This is the tricky part, for a lot of little things will make her think your creepy. Look into her eyes, but do not stare. Keep small talk going, make it a nice pleasant conversation. A story about that time you posted for dating advice on a forum, not such a good topic. Your hobbies are a good choice though. Don't be too talkative but avoid awkward silences.

4)After.
If you had a good time, just say "It was fun we should do it again sometime." Or something along those lines. Its a great way to find out if she is interested after round 1. You don't want to be too forward here, but don't shy away.

5)??
??? ?? ????? ?? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ?? ?

6) Sex.
If you ask for advice on this topic on a forum, you need to turn in your man card.


But honestly, wrestle a bear. That would be an awesome way to get her attention. "Want a bear hug?" No... I will work on this....


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