To give them credit, "Socialism" is actually defined almost fairly.

You know that's almost inspiring in it's naivete. You really get the sense that they believe in their own nonsense with this one. I hope they do, it makes it easier to laugh.

Because we all know Jesus was a conservative after reading the new testament amirite?

All that bread and fish he handed out was just to get them hooked so he could ramp up the prices later.

Not to mention that he cured EVERYBODY. I mean seriously, what did those lepers ever do to deserve being healed?

MUCH later, he must be making a killing in the bumper sticker market nowadays.

Lepers who, I might add, would go on to join the army that would execute him!
You heard it here first folks: Socialised healthcare leads to the death of the saviour.

Jesus is pretty much the epitome of Socialism, even Communism. Looking at it this way, he treated everyone equally, called people to give up everything they had for the greater good, and managed to get followers from the lowest rung of society up to tax collectors, who made a good wage, IIRC, to all chip into a central treasury for the entire community.

Jesus is pretty much as anti-Capitalist as you can get.

No, no, you're thinking of a picture of Jesus corrupted by the international liberal conspiracy. It's historically inaccurate to claim that Jesus wasn't in favor of low taxation, homophobia and adherence to traditional values. Peace, love, and attempting to understand the plight of others is for communists.

Why is he telling his disciples to go buy swords and murder everybody who disagrees with him? Totally a despot.

I have no idea what the hell your signature is talking about Barrel-boy. It's been bugging the shit out of me.

what the hell is Twittreature?

(I've read On The Road and a few poetry compilations of Kerouacs and am a fan, but like, what the hell?)