I'm doing it right!

http://technabob.com/blog/wp-content...og_costume.jpg

1st circle of the cornfield
People with a post-count of 0 are here. Though they never violated the rules they also never posted in the "I accept the rules" thread .

2nd circle of the cornfield
People who post "First" in some thread. The primal urge to let the world know they're the first one to reply to a thread is their sin.

3rd circle of the cornfield
Here reside the spammers. They post a lot, but rarely, if ever, contribute to the topic.

4th circle of the cornfield
People begging for rep and other e-peen enlargements dwell in this foul place

5th circle of the cornfield
This is the circle of the cornfield that harbors trolls. Sometimes manifests itself as an image board.

6th circle of the cornfield
The ones who do not accept that our team of moderators and administrators is supreme justice incarnate go here.

7th circle of the cornfield
This is the place of meanies disturbing the balance of the boards. Those people usually go down after opening an epic thread of their own downfall.

8th circle of the cornfield
All those mother fuckers who dare to set themselves as invisible. They make me sick.

9th circle of the cornfield
Here resides the dark lord himself, the one who gets you banned if you say his name (or an infraction if it looks like you meant to say "5th" instead of... +weep+)

With each of his three mouths he chews on the biggest sinners these forums have ever seen. Eternally. I do not know their names. But I know their screams.

Someone needs to assign bosses to those circles, STAT!

Frogman for 6th!

Ain't no sunshine where they're gone

What, we need a theme song!

That is disturbingly appropriate.

Hmm... y'know, I hadn't imagined Fifth as Lucifer... but I guess it works. Also, Prems is to Fifth what Sauron is to Morgoth. That's right, I said it. A bastard in his own right, but will always pale in comparison to the one before him.

Nightshine for 7th

I'll get back to you on that one, can't think of one that's appropriate.

Holy shit. Did I just successfully pull off a Dante's Inferno reference, and get other people to jump on the bandwagon?

I submit King Nothing.

We should assign a theme song to each circle. That way I can try to assign my own songs to all the circles.
Alternatively... they found asylum in a world where the broken dance on shards of glass

If you kill one, five hundred shall take its place.
 

Assuming direct control of the post.

...This hurts you.