Corrupted Wishes
 

Just like it says. Someone posts a wish, the next poster grants the wish, only with a twist. The person who grants the wish then posts a wish of his own to keep the game rolling. Try to wait 4 posts before corrupting a new wish.

Example:
I wish for rocket boots!

Granted, however the boots are cursed and make you dance uncontrollably when they are active.


Lets start with:

I wish for a boat.

The boat is cursedYou speak your wish. For a while everything's silent, and you're starting to become afraid it didn't work. Just when disappointment is about to really set in, you notice you're standing in shadow - and the shadow is growing larger. And larger. And larger still. That's when it occurs to you to look up rather than down-

The last thing to enter your mind is the keel. Enjoy your boat.

I wish I was very, very rich.:crossarms:

Granted!

I wish I could fly whenever I wanted.

Granted! However, the magic transformed your legs into wings- you can no longer walk and look rather ridiculous when flying.

I wish Nikose would make a wish.

Granted! Nikose makes a wish oh god what have you done

I wish Satan's Onion would log on!

In reality a Giant Onion With the head of satan craps on your house

I wish I could get something right

Granted! And the one thing you get right turns out to be part of a secret terrorist plot to destroy your country's freedom.

I wish I had all of the abilities granted by the Speed Force.

http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/4...ash1_super.jpg

You're welcome.

I wish I could travel through outer space.

Granted, but you aren't allowed to see anything cool during your travels through Outer Space.

I wish I had a really jaunty hat.

Granted, however the hat is made out of plutonium 238 and you die of cancer after wearing it.

I wish I had a pet dragon.

You did but it eat you and now torrizes the earth

I wish i could get my hands on a 3ds

Granted, you do get your hands on a 3ds... for 4 seconds before it's taken away again!

I wish I was cooler.

Granted! Your body temperature dropped a few degrees.


I wish that right at an oppertune time a flock of doves would settle on the railing of my balcony, and remain there for 4 seconds before flying away.

Granted! A flock of doves settles on the railing of your balcony and remain there for 4 seconds before flying away which makes you realize how stupid your wish was, how lame you are yourself for making said wish and this leads to you being depressed.

I wish for world peace.

Granted! Prolonged nuclear war slowly and painfully leads to the eradication of all life on Earth, leaving no one to fight.

I wish for a more fun job.

Granted! But the job is only fun for everyone else! You find it tedious and uninteresting.

I wish I could play an instrument.

Granted! But you lose your hands and tongue in a tragic piano accident.

I wish I had more time to sleep.

HA, you fool, that wasn't corrupted at all! It's too damn hot in here!!


OT; I wish I had more time to sleep.

Granted, you fall into eternal slumber, never to awake again.

I wish I had a giant nuke launching mech with which to wage war against my enemies.

Also, you have to rant about genetics you really don't understand.
 

Granted!

But it can be defeated by one man on foot with a few explosives.

I wish for a pony.

Granted. A Pony is thrown at you at a 180 feet per second.

I wish for great power.

Granted. You ever see Three Kings?

I wish I had a bucket of fried chicken.

Fair enough. You get a bucket of fried beaks and feet.

I wish I was employed as a programmer.

Granted! But despite your career, no one respects your basic authority on the subject!

I wish I could meet and speak with a living Andrew Jackson.

Granted! After years of research Andrew Jackson is brought back to life. Upon seeing the technological advances that have been made since his time he instantly goes insane, strangles a guard grabs his gun and kills the entire facility. As he enters the main part of town he finds your house, kicks in the door, and yells "YOU ARE NOT A TRUE AMERICAN!" As he shoots you in the face with a shotty.

I wish I knew what I wanted to eat.

Granted. You now crave mastadon meat and nothing else. Unfortunately, you didn't wish to know what it tastes like, so you won't even know if you find something similar.

I wish for infinite lives.

Granted, you now repeatedly die and reincarnate for all of time. Each death is extremely painful and agonising, and your eternal life cannot be undone. Even when the earth is destroyed and you are left alone in the vacuum of space you will continously die and revive every few minues, each time feeling the pain of sufocation/radiation sickness as your cells are poisoned and you body crushed by the intensity of said vacuum, eventually going insane from the eternal hell you must endure.

I wish I had superpowers.

Granted. As you look out your window, you see a meteor crash at the local park. You go and investigate. Once you reach it, you find you are the only one there. You observe the wreckage and find green glowing rocks. These have granted you almost every power one's mind could conceive. However, you have no way of knowing of these powers. You live the rest of your life unaware of the great and incredible things you could have done.

I wish I had the power to travel through time at any point in the past or future.

Story of my life.

/ot

Granted, only it turns out the only point you were able to travel through time was when you were three weeks old, after which the power faded and nobody ever knew of it.


I wish I had control over water.

Granted! *Hands you a dollar store water gun*

I wish to discover a clean energy alternative to oil.

Granted! One day in the lab, your experiment achieves Cold Fusion! Unfortunately you were trying to make a simple Fuel Cell. You trash it thinking you failed.

Instead of wishing for more wishes, which is against the rules, I wish for more lamps with wish granting Genies.

Granted! Your house becomes filled to the brim with lamps. Unfortunately for your you are crushed under the intense weight of the lamps as your are unable to move.

I wish I had a salmon to slap people with.

Granted! A glorious bright light shines from the heavens and gives you s Salmon. You are told that you may use this wondrous, beautiful Salmon to smack anyone you please. But you must first use it to chop down the mightiest tree in the forest! While the Forest is on fire!

I wish I could run faster.

Granted. However you find that running a MACH 3 is both really hard to stop, turn... and deadly when you ram into something

i wish i had spider-man's powers.

Granted! But with great power comes radioactive sperm.

I wish I was a friendly neighborhood werewolf.

Too easy >:D
 

Granted, enjoy living in the StephenieMeyerverse

How comes no one has wished for world peace yet? I want that :D

Everyone dies. Corpses are incredibly peaceful after all.


I wish my poor vision was made 20/20.

Someone has

Granted. However, it turns out that everyone thought you were sexier with glasses. You never realize this and go about enjoying your vision at the cost of any attractiveness you may have had.

I wish I could see the future.

Granted.

But it's the future of the bathroom of a run-down convenience store from the point of view of the toilet, and an morbidly obese man who has had too many rancid burritos comes into view...

I wish I could talk with the animals.

Hmm, I missed that post

Granted, you can see the future...no the one you want though, you see a world where the only thing on TV are reality shows, the only books you can read are Twilight sequels and every new movie is based on fanfiction

EDIT: Damn ninjas
Fine, you can talk to them for only $999.99 a minute. Too bad you can't talk to people now

I wish I could get a legendary pokemon

Granted. Each and every legendary Pokemon now rests in your hands. As you look upon them with joy, Team rocket kicks you in the gonads and steals them all, leaving you with your trusty Weedle.

I wish I had a Audi.

Granted! But that's a powerful car and you're not used to handling something like that so you lose control and crash into a a van full of orphans and when you are arrested you pop on a drug test because of those poppy seed bagels that you love to eat all the time. Due to the combination of the DUI and the hospitalization of those poor orphans, you are imprisoned for life with a cell mate who was arrested for killing man who punched an orphan. All requests for a cell change are denied because let's face it, ain't nobody in that prison wants to help you after what you've done. You lead a very frightening life until being shivved in the shower.

I wish for a porn star mustache.

Granted, that mustache would be great, except you're a girl now, not a good looking girl either but, hey, you love that mustache, don't you?

I wish apple would have honest marketing for their products

Granted. In an odd state of literal advertisement, Apple begins harvesting Eyeballs from animals and even some humans to make there Ipods/Iphones. Most people are too disgusted to buy from them now and their sales plunge.

I wish I had a kitten! definitely won't regret this one

Granted! Here is your little kitten tiger...and there is it's Big mad mother!

I wish for some of the drama of life to settle itself.

Granted. Everyone's dead. No more drama.

I wish I weren't so bored.

Granted You are teleported to Bard and his Tiger.

I wish Stella had her grove back.

Stella's cleft palette surgery is reversed. She feels ugly again, hates you, breaks up with you, and uses your credit card to get it redone along with a ton of other plastic surgery, breaking your bank and forcing you onto the streets while she subsequently wins millions in beauty pageants.


I wish I had a cookie.

It was made with one of these

I wish my kids demonstrated common sense.

Granted! However their new common sense was once yours, how did it feel when you put that fork in the outlet?

I wish my damn posters would stop falling off the wall.

Granted! You look to your wall and see your nearby poster fall off. You attempt to place it back, but it is stuck to the floor! Well at least it won't fall again...

I wish I had more friends. ):

Granted, but they're all Satanists who are hunting for their next sacrifice. Enjoy the weekend camping trip.

I wish I was President.

Congradulations your now President of Enron!

I wish the engie update would come out soon

Granted! The new update comes out tomorrow, and completely removes Engineers from the game.

I wish to be guaranteed victory in any sort of contest I am ever involved in.

Granted, but you're then challenged to Drownball.


I really wish I'd remember to put my volume to 100 when composing so I didn't have to redo all my songs.

Granted. You now are able to output music at a rather impressive level and believe you are doing excellent. However due to the lack of need to go back and adjust songs, the quality begins to drop and no one listens to your music anymore.

I wish people would join the game Rumble I made.

Granted, Rumble spirals out of control and goes the way of Calvinball.

I wish I could believe its not butter.

Granted. You now believe it, and all other forms of butter and margarin, are Penguins. You are seen as rather awkward for the rest of your life.

I wish life was more like an Role-playing game. A good one.

Granted! Unfortunately, you are an unimportant NPC. You either cease to exist when the PCs aren't present, or you have only one line of dialogue to spout for your entire life, which consists of walking in a set path 24/7. Anything you own will eventually be taken by a PC.

I wish I hadn't made this wish.

You haven't. It goes to your worst enemy, who wishes you'd trip and fall into a stairwell with used syringes at the bottom. Testing is going to be expensive.


I wish I had a good singing voice again.

Zombie Luciano Pavarotti is now chained in your basement and willing to sing for brains.

I want a Gunman.

I'm Canadian! Suck on THAT, genie!

Since no one's continued things, I guess I'll post a bit early.

Granted! You are now the proud owner of a man with a gun. Unfortunately, slavery is illegal. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

I wish for a beautiful alien princess to fall in love with me and take me back to her homeworld for marriage.

Granted! The most beautiful alien woman appears before you and takes you as her mate. You return to her home world with a respirator outfitted so you can survive the atmosphere, unfortunately they mate like preying mantises.

I wish the disc drive of my computer would fucking work.

I'll go early, too.

Granted, but you know how a lot of bugs eat their mates? You really should have drawn the connection at the antennae. It's also disappointing for her because her people's men actually put out while they're being devoured, so all she actually gets is lunch and she becomes the embarrassment of her family because of you. She's going to remember this when she becomes queen.


I wish for a Harley.

Wait, how is this different from any of my other relationships?

I do double!

Granted! It now fucks you at work!

Granted! The first time you get on it, you get attacked by a biker gang who steal it.

I wish the day was longer.

Granted, the day is now 48 hours long. Unfortunately the working day is increased from 8 hours to 16 hours to accomodate this.


I wish Portal 2 was was released already.

it is And they didn't finish anything. And if you turn your back to companion cube who stabs you in the back.

I wish I could draw better.

Granted.

Your calligraphy in the art of writing the word better is unparalleled. But that's all you can draw... well all you can draw better than you currently can.

I wish people were better at this.

It's all downhill from here.

Better is a thing of the past.

I wish for... MORE SQUID.

Granted, your home is now filled to the brim with giant squids. Enjoy.

I wish life was more interesting.

Granted, World War III breaks out when North Korea starts lobbing nukes at South Korea and Japan. Hilarity and Interesting Times Ensue.

I wish that cats could talk.

Granted rather than just act snooty, cats now refer to each human as Jeeves and revel in their new found ability to voice their demands.

I wish I could get a chance to prove to employers I don't need a piece of paper to do the job.

Sir, this is supposed to be a corrupted wish game.

You get it but something hilariously ironic happens.

I wish for enough cowbell.

You get that, except that the cowbell's are forever tied to your ears, ringing constantly as you move. You'll only ever hear the sound of cowbell from now on!

I wish to be a Professional Hockey Player!

Granted! You are in the worst team in the world and never win a game. Ever.

I wish I could have a video game library that contained every game ever made.

You get it. Unfortunately, you don't have the consoles for any of them and they fill your house nearly to the brim. You also can't sell any of them because the spell prevents you from doing so so that the collection is never incomplete, and the cost of buying them all at current market price is taken out of your funds. The spell didn't shop around, either, so your bank is broken and you need to find some way out of debt, but the banks count your library in your assets, which makes things very messy. Good luck.


I wish I was better at posing for pictures.

I'm telling R.L. Stine you stole that from him.

Granted, but using your hate causes you to become prequel trilogy Anakin Skywalker.

I wish I had remembered to make a wish when I made this post the first time.