Life on the Squad
 

http://www.thevarguy.com/wp-content/...geek-squad.jpg

So I landed a job at a BestBuy near me two weeks ago as a Geek Squad agent. They literally hired me on the spot during the interview which at first I thought was cool as I had been nervous as hell for the interview. At orientation I met the other three who had been hired with me. They all seemed like cool guys, all just as nerdy as me, same interests, etc... After the four hour orientation I was given my hours for the first week and was all excited for my first real day of work. I imagined being surrounded by computers, or burned out husks of once great machines, and doing what I love for a living. Tinkering. Diagnosing. Bringing the dead back to life.

You guys...

These people...

First phone call I answer: "How do I open my laptop?"

The day went downhill from there.

A man came in saying we broke his computer, quote, "more than it was already broke". He originally brought his system in because it wouldn't power on. Verdict was a bad power supply and mobo. He paid the $70 diagnosis fee but refused to have it serviced because the price was too high to fix it. He comes back, points to the main power connector on the motherboard and says we snapped part of it off. What made him think this was that the cord coming from the PSU had extra connectors as part of an adapter for newer boards that had more connectors. Long story short, we didn't do shit to his computer, but he was one of those "fight the man" types. He left the store in a huff.

Rule #1 of dealing with Geek Squad: NEVER FUCKING BRING US A MACBOOK! No one here knows how to deal with Macs. They are built with HEX HEAD AND STAR SCREWS WHO THE FUCK USES STAR SCREWS!? And almost none of our software is compatible with them.

Rule #2: If we tell you it will take a few hours to set up your new laptop, assume that means "come back tomorrow, if we're lucky".

Rule #3: $200 for a virus cleaning means $200 for a virus cleaning and none of us grunts can do shit about it.

Rule #4: It's not my fault your warranty is up.

Rule #5: There is a queue line. We can not just fix it for you "real quick". No you may not wait right there while we do it.

I mean it's not a terrible job. The day goes by in a second and it pays relatively well. Most of the time I'm just installing antiviruses on laptops and "optimizing" them, which means running one program and walking away. Occasionally they'll actually let me run a diagnostic, very occasionally will I ever see the inside of a computer. Most repairs they send to Kentucky anyway.

Not sure if this was the right thing to do or not, but lately I have been recommending such products as OpenOffice and Malwarebytes for people who have simple problems that really don't warrant a $200 fix. It's amazing how this entire establishment is being kept alive by the public's general ignorance about technology and something called Google.

Some of those examples sound mind numbingly stupid on the customer's behalves.

The way I see it though, if it pays well then you made the right choice. If the problems are simple and just fits of stupidity on the person's, then so be it as long as it doesn't bring down you pay.

That's just like working help desk in a community college except we don't rip off our customers and we get more time inside the computer.

Here's the good version of that video above.

And here is more help desk awesome.

Eh, I prefer the standup version. He overexaggerates his expressions in that one.

That does sound like what I've heard general computer help is like. But hey a job's a job these days. If you do want to get into tinkering to fix computers see what it would take to get down to Kentucky to work there if that's an option for you. But yeah, best of luck to you I hope it works out great.

$70 diagnosis fee?
$200 virus removal?
What the fuck?
I normally do it for a chocolate bar.

Same here.

Other prices are:
$30 - install one piece of software
$50 - install one piece of hardware
$100 - transfer files to another computer
$150 - transfer files to an external hard drive included in price
$200+ - diagnose and fix any problem with computer that can be fixed in store, does not include price of part.

In other words, you and I could have been making a lot more money. Either because we're stupid or not capable of straight up robbery.

Whoa whoa whoa back up here; are you saying I could have gotten a goddamn chocolate bar every time I fix something?

God.
DAMMIT.

Just so everyone's clear here, Geek Squad is a fucking rip off, and using any of their services is the equivelent to throwing your money into a blender, and ruining a perfectly good chocolate milkshake.

Bob's awesome. His job is not.


Also the people who use geek squad, should not have computers. without geeksquad, there would be less people like that online.

Edit: You know I feel obliged to qualify this so it doesn't sound like I'm just ragging on a shitty system for being something I'm not in on, or whatever.

Best buy's Optimization is garbage forever:
http://consumerist.com/2010/01/consu...-of-money.html

A bunch of other horror stories about geek squad, who, because they're wage slaves, don't care about retaining you as a customer so much as making you go away:
http://consumerist.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt...rch=Geek+squad [there's other things mixed in there, but it's mostly geek squad]

A small-time repair guy or private shop owner wants to keep you as a customer. You coming back keeps him in business.


Edit 2: One more for prosperity: You sell Macs at Best Buy, and you sell your warranty on Macs. Therefore, people bring macs to you. Blame your employer, not the customer.

Pretty much computer fixer guys in general are ripoffs. A guy charged my dad almost two hundred dollars and all he did was format the hard drive. It's just that so many people know jack shit about computers that it makes those guys like ancient and powerful wizards to them.

The Geek Squad guys around where I live aren't even qualified to fix the computers. Sure they're nerdy and geeky but they don't really have the education to back up what they actually are supposed to do.

Geek Squad usually = overpriced for poor labour.

No Offence to you Bit. Just the Geek Squad here is really piss poor.

For Canadians, I actually do reccommend FutureShop. The extended warranty is a bit steep, but they'll fix just about anything. They'll service all the original hardware in your computer, regardless of additions or changes to the setup.

I added more RAM and swapped the Hard Drive on my box, and the video crapped out. I brought it in, without the receipt, and said that I had bought the warranty- he looked up my name in the computer, found the warranty still had 3 months left on it, took my box, opened it up.

He proceeded to take out the extra stick of RAM and Hard drive, set them on the counter, and spent the next 60 minutes fixing my computer. Video card was fried, and they didn't have the same model, so he grabbed an 'equivelent' model off the shelf (actually a 1 GB card instead of the 512 card I had), put the Extra Ram and Hard Drive back in, threw in the drivers, handed it back to me and told me "have a great day."

Didn't cost me a cent past the original warranty I paid for. >.> $250 bucks. I've brought it in every 4 months to get the case/interior dusted out and parts doublechecked, and I've seen 1 CPU replacement, 1 Video card replacement, and two wireless card replacements on that warranty.

Overall, I can reccommend FutureShop for not fuckin' me around.

[Although my mom had a rough time with them, and I had to go in and play "Dismiss the snarky shithead for a competent employee] a couple of times.



@BitVyper: Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad. Skunkworks in Barrie was terrible; Backup data and reinstall Windows was $430 bucks. Fucking ripoff, that. "The Computer Guys" by my mom's place, flat $30 to format the hard drive, and reinstalled windows complimentary using her disk. Skunkworks is out of business, Computer Guys are still going strong, so, there you go?

Man all that shit is ridiculous. $100 to transfer files? A crossover cable costs 10 cents. Gabula

Well I would assume Geek Squad pays something akin to $15/h so, for 5 minutes of work, then lets say, 1 hour of time the computer runs for.

Thats like $.50 for materials required.

So yep, totally a rip off.

You don't have to watch the computer the whole time... You totally can't charge for that.
And evne then surely its $85 for materials ($100-$15 for 1 hour work)

I was agreeing with you it was a total rip off! I wasn't being sarcastic.

I work in IT, I do the shit Geek Squad does as part of my every day(Get paid much more for it though :D). Transferring files is simple, easy and quick. Minus the time it takes the files to transfer of course. So yeah the Geek Squad is a rip off. Though I do get offered to do computer shit who work here all the time but I tell em no. My time off is for having fun with PC's not working on em.

Pretty much is $5.50 for parts and labour and $94.50 profit!!

Hang in there, Bob!
 

Oh ho ho, au contraire, Synk.
 

http://consumerist.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt...eyond&limit=20

Above and Beyond stories, where companies kick-ass and take names.

:PPPPPPPPPP
 

I'm sorry, i just really love this meme
 

1. KNOW COMPUTERS
2. Move to a small town in the midwest, most residents on their deathbed
3. ???
4. Profit!

I only go to the Geek Squad when my shit is still under warranty, the entire time I just want to slap the neanderthal behind the counter, tell him exactly what to do while I do it my god-damn self and then leave the store with some free Rockstars in my pockets.

Unfortunately none of that is covered by the warranty, so I simply bid a tearful farewell to my computing device and come back in a month.

Nothing against you Bob, but I have so little sympathy for terrible customer stories coming from Geek Squad members, from my interaction with them they deserve it!

But maybe you can be that shining starlet amidst the mouth breathers.

Hey Bob, if you can share, what type of quota's do you have to meet? Do you have to upsell? How's the pay at your position? How much physical repair are you doing VS. over-the-phone support. I guess you could say I'm asking out of curiosity... wondering what this type of tech support is like.

Also: Please share more dumb/ asshole customers in the future because I get off on knowing that I'm not alone in a universe full of stupids.

I highly doubt Geek Squad pays 15 bucks an hour, probably more like 9 or 10, slightly more than minimum wage but not something that requires an Associate's Degree, but maybe Bob can share with us if he isn't sensitive about us knowing what he's making.

In any case, the prices sound outrageous, it sounds like it'd be cheaper to send your comp in to the manufacturer to get any repairs done, plus you can get consultation on the phone for free usually, I can't imagine anyone charging 70 dollars for consultation, my freaking doctor doesn't do that, freaking Edgar Snyder injury lawyer doesn't do that! Hell, Snyder only charges if he gets money for you, that'd be like the Geek Squad only charging you if they actually do something, which doesn't sound like it happens.

Anyway, man, I feel for anyone who has to put up with someone asking them how to open a laptop, that sounds like it would grind down your faith in human intelligence to nothing.

You guys are thinking of this service in terms of what you know about computers. Bob is the equivalant of a car mechanic and, yeah, those guys are a rip off too, but you're willing to put up with it becuase you don't know sqaut about cars.

Geek Squad is probably superior in that they don't try to replace your car's entire electrical system because your tail-light's out or replace your oil pan without permission when you take your car in for an oil change because "oil pan was damaged/leaking" 1 drop of oil per week. Mechanics tend to do extra stuff so they can charge you for it whereas Geek Squad appears to be doing nothing and charging you for it but you are aware they do nothing before you go.

Yeah but there is a lot more people who can fix computers that can fixcars and to fix cars you need to a whole lot of specialised tools which you don't need to fix computers. Like I have agood idea how a car works and whats wrong with itwhen it broken but I'm not in any position to fix it.

Not true! A virtual tool is still a 'special' tool that some might have ready access to, but no idea how to use.

The vast vast majority of things you are going to fix are going to be available as free downloads which are user friendly- as in click the buttons to make it go.

Look I'm not saying that how helpless and stupid people can be doesn't bother me, I'm just saying the the mechanic analogy is an apt one based on what they are capable of. This is from someone who spends his days reminding people to tune their tvs to channel 3 in order to get cable. :/

Oh, no, they quite often do whatever they want and bill you for it.

"I'm here for antivirus setup."

6 days later

"Here's your formatted hard drive with Windows 7 64 bit installed alongside your new antivirus."

"I... my files... and... 7? I had XP."

"That'll be $650."


Related: First time I've seen Barrel admit he didn't know shit about a topic.

Viruses and malware are available with that price and ease of use, too. Stupid people will, more often than not, find those first.

Yeah, going to the Geeksquad or to tech stores in general to get your computer fixed will generally leave a big hole in the ass of your jeans where your wallet was. But for the most part, from what I've seen of the people walking into the shop my friend Dave owns, they deserve to be paying the stupid tax. I can guarantee you, most of these people shouldn't own a computer, much less be using it for something as sophisticated *stifles laughter* as frolicking on the internet (what do you mean there were viruses in that link that I clicked?).

Most of them cannot even seem to grasp the idea that you should pull your tower open and take a can of air to it once in a while to help prevent overheating and degradation of the parts from all the dust.

And god forbid you have to order a replacement part. Dear mother of all that's holy, if they miss one day (despite the fact they broke/drenched the machine a week ago) of this upcoming online seminar, the world's gonna end, can't you speed up the delivery any faster? What? It costs extra for express/overnight delivery? Nevermind.

I feel your pain, man, but I can offer no more comfort than that. The worst is yet to come. On a related note, are you required to wear a uniform, or can you show up to work with a PEBKAC T-Shirt on?

We really try to do as few unnecessary things as possible, in fact the only times I see them say they have to do a full wipe of the system and reinstall the OS is when the system files are so hopelessly corrupt that not even their rescue discs can do anything about it.

The antivirus they run combines definitions from Pandascan, McAfee, Norton, Kaspersky and Webroots into one executable so rarely do they have to wipe a system on account of a virus. The $200 fee is basically "find the problem and fix it". If we need a part we usually have it by the next day or so after the customer is notified. They've improved that part of the process a lot. The only problem I have with it is we are legally bound not to use Malwarebytes because of it's non-commercial use clause.

[Edit] The part I hate most about this job is how we give people ready-to-use systems with antiviruses pre-installed, they still get a virus after a month or two of use, and I have to explain how no antivirus is 100% effective.

Huh? I probably know more then Bob does on computers because my schooling and career is with computers so I don't really get what you're getting at with this?

You find his service useless and expensive becuase you don't need it. If you do not have the same level of expertise with, for example cars, then a mechanic is something you're willing to put up with.

I see where Smarty's point is, but-

Bob isn't USING any of that expertise. He's running a DVD with pre-made files on it. He's not fixing anything, he's just going "okay, something is broken." and mailing it to the proper repair center. He doesn't get to do shit.

Well...

I mean I get to do some shit. I'm basically a help desk most of the day, but there does come the occasional hard drive swap, RAM upgrade or PCI hardware installation. Things we need to send out to Kentucky are broken LCDs, any motherboard/cpu replacements, and power supply replacements.

And essentially everything for a laptop except for hard drives or RAM.

I did what now? That doesn't sound like me.

Also I don't think the mechanic analogy is apt because even if you know how to fix a car you can't do it without a whole set of expensive tools and the repair can be physically dangerous.
This is not the case for computer problems.
Fixing a computer is a knowledge problem.
Fixing a car is both a knowledge and equipment problem.
Totally differents.

Let me gather myself before telling you guys this story.

:crying:

:(

Okay so...

Today a woman comes in with her brand new Mario Kart for the Wii that she had purchased just a couple days ago. Upon closer inspection it appeared the system had "ringed" the disc either by something mechanical inside the Wii being out of position or outside vibrations. A coworker began asking her questions to see if he could discern what had brought the ring on. After some light interrogation we discover she has children, but they were not at fault as they hadn't used the system since she bought it.

She then told us that she had been having problems with the game since the day she purchased it. She said the Karts wouldn't go anywhere when she tried to drive them. We asked her what she used to play it. She said the wheel accessory. We asked if she placed the controller inside the wheel before using it, she said it wouldn't fit in the slot.

...

I told her that it should, but she kept repeating that the controller just would not fit comfortably inside the wheel. Just to clarify that we were on the same page, I brought her back to the video game department and pointed at the controller. I asked, "that's the controller you have?" She said, "no, that one." She pointed at a different box.

The Nintendo Wii box.

She had been using the Wii itself. As a controller. Waving it around, shaking it, trying to steer with it. After politely correcting her usage technique, I walked back to customer service and asked them to please give this woman a replacement.

*gives Bob a bro hug* There there my friend, there there.

but not through her children
 

Why did you do that to me Bob? I come lurking out of the RP section for one minute and run facefirst into that mess of mind distorting illogic. I'm in pain.

This belongs on Not Always Right so hard.