NO POKEMANZ IZ REALISTIC!!
 

This is to break the discussion from the image thread about how pokemon is unrealistic.

Main focus point at the moment: National Security. Already discussed that we rely on pre-teens to stop criminal organizations while the 2 policemen in each region prance around with their level 10-25 growlithes.

Possible new topics:
Why kids doing pokemon battles/contests make national news. I swear that if Johto and Kanto declared war on each other you wouldn't find out if the trainer talked to all of the reporters.

Pokemon centers and marts are everywhere, but there might be like one actual hospital and grocery store total over the 4 generations.

You can never find a bathroom, and pokemon never poop despite the fact that you can buy it for your berry patches.

Pokemon can be used as a threat for violence, but can never actually attack people.

There are no dead people in the caves, you'd figure that some would get lost and get eaten by a butterfree or something.

Continue our rant.

I already mentioned how Lass wears a school uniform in Black and White, a.k.a. America.

http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/9...inerlassbw.png

This is an affront to our Freedom!

That Lass looks like a posh girl. Such a girl would certainly go to a private school where uniforms are required.

EDIT:

http://imgur.com/ZJoCJ.png

And yet if you do run for it he won't die, ever.

Other topic I forgot, pokemon never die yet there is a pokemon graveyard in Sinnoh.

I'm this close to posting a Pokémon doujin about death but it's rather long and I don't wanna get banned.

There's also the Ghost Tower or whatever it's called in Lavender Town in Kanto, which has some tombstones in the town, as well as the tower being dedicated to dead pokemon. Also, in FireRed/LeafGreen, when you go to the Sevii Islands you can meet a kid who made a monument to his dead Onyx (I was recently finishing up my game of FireRed, hence why I know this).

Also if you want to read an interesting take on pokemon death as an actual game mechanic, read this.

Oh and I dunno if you guys mentioned this previously, but if you never ever feed your pokemon (meaning you don't give them berries and whatnot), nothing bad will ever happen. However it is recommended that you spray them regularly with "potions."

Pokemon: It's perfectly okay to capture wild animals and force them to fight other captive animals until one of them passes out, as long as you're doing it to prove that you're the very best.

Pokemon: Digital Cock-Fighting at its best.

Black and white you only take poison damage in combat now.

Pokemon are too used in wars. Lt. Surge of the Vermilion City Gym often notes on how his Raichu saved him during "the war" by shocking his enemies into submission. This admission, along with the countless examples of Pikachu wasting Team Rocket show that Pokemon can and are used as weapons against other people and can cause serious harm.

I'm still trying to sort out ghost Pokemon though because if they show up when a Pokemon dies then aren't the really just some form of final evolution that all Pokemon eventually go through?

On that tangent, yes, Pokemon can die (at least in the show). Especially when there's no Dues ex Machina Pokemon Center around run be some pink haired Joy Clone and staffed by super-surgical Chanseys. The point has been made often enough that if Ash hadn't gotten his near-death monsters there in time then his next best bet would have been a shovel.

I don't know how effective Pokemon would be in wars as compared to say guns. Not only do they take a long time to train and effectively control (as well as being off questionable validity after trainer dies) when compared with just mass producing guns the attacks in context seem pretty weak. Pokemon always attack each other at pretty close ranges,I can't recall any really long range fights, and attacks generally consist of just hitting someone or throwing some basic element at them which are not going to be any more super effective than a bullet.
Psychic and ghost pokemon could potentailly be very useful and some pokemon have good support abilities but as troops it seems unworkable to me.

I don't know. Anything with a Hyperbeam would make for some decent artillery. Especially if said pokemon flies.

Most psychic Pokemon could probably stop bullets, and could teleport close to their opponents anyways.

Hyperbeam is of comparable power to a big funnel of water hitting them. Like that can do a lot of damage,yes, but not significantly morethan convential weaponry.
Small flying things like Butterfree could be useful because they hard to hit, that is true.

They have trouble with very slow pokemon attacks, why wouldthey be able to stop bullets?
Like psychic pokemon can't just murder other pokemon, I don't know why they wuold be able to do this to people. While they can teleport and stop certain attacks they can't do everything at once and that is their downfall.

Actually, Hyperbeam is a normal-type attack (maybe you're thinking of Hydropump or Hydro Cannon?), which is usually depicted as a high powered laser attack of sorts.
Assuming it's strong enough, and assuming it's a microwave-like laser, this would mean a big enough Hyperbeam causes your enemies' organs to get fried.
Going by Lance's Dragonite - in Gold or Silver or it's remakes - , which fires it's Hyperbeam directly at Rockets, it isn't quite as lethal though. But this could simply be to keep the games from getting an M rating. ;)

If it's a light-based laser... eh, it'd probably cause some level of burns, and those unlucky enough to not have shielded their eyes will probably get some degree of ocular damage (potential blindness, though!).

You're right, but I guess you're assuming military technology developed the same way in their universe. They've always had pokemon, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of tech we have never arose because they could do it with Pokemon. Also pretty sure Surge was supposed to be a Nam veteran and Pokemon would have been pretty useful in that war, seeing as the level of technology was lower and I imagine pokemon would be super effective* I'm sorry in asymmetric battles like that.

Basically I'm pretty sure things would be a lot different especially the further back you went. Ancient warfare would be interesting with supersonic Dragonites flying around....

I figured Smarty was referring to it having similar attack power to hydro pump and the water based hyper beam the name of which I forget.

I always figured Hyper Beam was more of a concussive force attack than a laser (anything hot enough to do that much damage instantaneously would probably also fry the surrounding area, the trainers, and the one firing the beam). Which is probably what Smarty meant when he said "comparable to a funnel of water" - the damage isn't from the water itself, but from the sheer force of hundreds of gallons of water-mass collide with you.

Well, we're pretty clearly dealing in magic, here, too. Otherwise attacks like Bubble would be quite literally useless. Seriously, how do you get hurt by bubbles?

No, in the first movie, it's shown pretty well that those bubbles each explode with force roughly as much as a firecracker, and you wouldn't exactly want to hold an exploding firecracker.

So unless the bubbles are somehow as viscous as steel and filled with super-compressed gases, I think we're dealing with magic.

http://imgur.com/E6Mk2.png

He's still ten.

Either the Pokémon world revolves around the Sun at the speed of Mars, or it lives in an perpetual continuity where every day is the same as the last.

He's obviously a robot.

But then he would still age the same way my twenty-two year old car ages.

There are multiple Ashes, each released from the cloning facility at the age of ten. At the end of the year, they are renewed, Logan's Run-style. Given the technology level of the show (creating Mewtwo, magic "make it all better" machines, guns), this is more than plausible.

More like time is totally a matter of convenience. They had a Christmas episode, I think. There's a certain awareness of seasons. It's just that they seem perpetually stuck in the same one unless the plot calls for it, and then they just move to a convenient seasonal region.

Possibly that, too. Ever notice how everyone else is either already an adult or leaves before they can get too much older? Only Brock ever came back to my knowledge, and he acted as a sort of big brother figure, so being older was appropriate.

Granted, Brock hasn't seemed to age, either. So either they both are or Brock is just a shorty.

Everyone is clones. Not just in Pokémon, either.

What gets me is the non-violence, I mean you have creatures that can cut steel, lift trucks, create lightning, breath fire, but worst thing that happens is you "faint"

Pokemon should look more like thishttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...Decapatops.jpg


explain the whole jenny/joy thing

I'm guessing that's not real, but I really wanna play that

Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy are the prototypes for the Renewal System to which everyone now belongs. Multiple Joys and Jennys were allowed to be in service at once so that they could be installed around the world, one of each per town, to get people used to the idea and show them how, by submitting to the Renewal System, they too could be eternally young.

So now everyone has a vat full of clones and submits to the Sleepshop yearly to have their memories transferred into a fresh copy.

Wait, I mean Pokésleepshop.

Maybe Ashes don't really have a long life. Every new season is a new Ash. They just replace him without anyone noticing. Kind of like what your parents did with your pets.

... what? O_O *looks at pet dog in fear* /jk

on a serious note. The new Black and White arc might be retconing everything. So they may be restarting Ashe's story in a different region (or the same). Like an alternate continuity.

OMG! That would actually validate a fan theory!

See, the theory is that Ash got zapped into a coma during that Spearow attack and all the rest of Pokemon is just his coma dream. They went very in-depth with what everyone represents and all that and babbled enough support that it actually almost made sense.

The trick is that in Black and White, you visit a dream realm where all the Pokemon from the other games appear. You catch them there or whatever and then travel to a special region where those species then appear in the "real" (normal game) world.

Combine those two. Think about it.

That kinda logic is the coward's way out. Are you a coward, Blues?

In terms of Ash Is Still Ten, I will firmly stand by the Coma Theory.

I realized that Eevees have probably come into being through selective breeding; having only seen them ever being owned, it can be presumed they've been entirely domesticated and bred until their evolutionary pattern resembled nothing else found in the wild.

;)

shut up I pay attention.

Still, it's an interesting combination, no? :D

No, not really.

Well, at least you're honest.

That's really more proof of the theory that all the other Pokémon evolved from Mew.

Basically, waaaaaay long ago, only Mew existed.
The Mew moved away from their homegrounds and settled in other lands. Over time, they evolved (Darwin-style, NOT Pokémon-style) to suit their surroundings.

Eevee is just the new Mew, except in the case of Eevee, it just takes some stones to evolve them, instead of time.

You forget, flying units take triple damage from archers. This would limit the use of hyper-beam equipped flying units in warfare.

And I don't even know WHERE Hitmonchan fits into the weapon triangle...

http://www.brawlinthefamily.com/comi...-HyperBeam.jpg

Hyper Beam is shit.

I'm sure ton's of wild pokemon die that way, but it seems that trainer battles are far more structured and trainers have their pokemon hold back and possibly rescue their own pokemon from certain death. It may be the reason why you always faint or black out when you lose as you take damage for each fainted pokemon making sure that they survive.

What kind of pussy can only throw himself in front of six attacks? Shouldn't you level up yourself eventually? Increase the number you can take with you as you man up and learn how to take a Hyper Beam to the face without flinching and walk away from a Self Destruct without even looking back?

That just raises the further question of how they survive self destructing.

Nurse Joy is VERY good. :3:

Either that, or they are, in fact, mechanical/mineral. I think the only things that get it are Voltorb/Electrode, Geodude/Graveler/Golem, and Magnemite/Magneton, but that's only Gen 1.

Edit: Oh, and Koffing/Weezing.


Complete list courtesy of Bulbapedia: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Selfdestruct

honestly I'd love it if in pokemon you could level up. Carry more pokemon, maybe allow you to handle stronger ones, would add a new dimension to the same tired game

And turn it into SMT. We already have that and it's great. :dance:

I have no clue what SMT stands for.

What this thread is telling me is that more people should read Pokémon Special.

http://imgur.com/5BDAG.jpg

Read Pokémon Special, whiners.

Shin Megami Tensei

Yeah I've been pretty much thinking that this whole way through.

Oh my god the trainers actually participate in battle, you guys.

How did Game Freak actually think Dive would be somewhat believable in generation 3? It's literally possible for a 1 pound fish to pull a kid under water for an hour and not drown him.

And how do the fire attacks work? The closest thing I've seen in videogames that is underwater fire is Spyro's super-flame which would become an exploding star underwater.

And my biggest issues with type resistances: Normal's immunity to Ghost type attacks, and how a fighting type move can't squish a bug.

Have you seen the Gen V bugs? They are fucking scary.

AGHALAGHALGHALG!

His name is Green!

The girl's name is Blue!

Heck, they even use their names to set up a Fire Red Leaf Green pun later!

Aghlagalgala rantrantrantrant.

But yes, Special is the best and everyone should read it.

Shin Megami Tensei, otherwise known as awesome. And hard. And awesomely hard. Unless there's some other series with those initials I'm unaware of.

And I object to the electric spiders being called "scary". I find them to be absolutely adorable little fuzzballs, and spiders terrify me.

I meant stat wise. That Fire/Bug thing with Butterfly Dance is going to wreck teams all over.

a Fire/Bug type? O_O They do that and they can't think to put wings on a Fire-breathing pig.

Under Hitmonlee's foot

Hitmonchan has his elemental punches, and therefore would sooner go in the Trinity of Magic.

Hitmonchan has dicks in his mouth

The guy is green, the girl is blue, and whoever translated the games can go die.
 

Allegedly the same guy who made the Lost Silver game is working on this.

Fuck you for bringing that argument up, you motherfucker.

Meh, nobody else bit at it, so if we just ignore it from here on, it should be fine.

And that ends round 2 and I have lost track of the score so let's keep going next question!!

How come pokemon twice the protagonist's height can hide in waist-high grass?

Nobody ever explicitly stated it was waist-high. Just "tall." Waist-high could easily just be an arbitrary graphic to preserve tiling and your position. You might really be walking in grass well over your head, as is possible with some kinds of prairie grass.

And here we are.
 

Except that in gen three, we DO get grass that's taller than you!

Also, how the hell do some of the pokemon hide in the middle of no-where in caves? I mean, okay I guess Onix/Geodudes and whatnot could be underground, but how the hell is Hariyama jumping out of nowhere to fight me?

We're doing this.

NPF: Continue unnecessary conversation because shit just got real.

Stealthily.


Yeah, this isn't they type of forum I'd expect to see that flame war pop up in. But my first forum was a Pokemon one, and I spend a lot of time on Bulbapedia, so I've seen that argument so many times it makes me want to punt a Pichu.

{Character} is a nearsighted half-deaf ADD freak who can hardly remember where he keeps his pokeballs. Only way that's possible.

How the hell does a 7'07", 560 lbs sumo manage to do ANYTHING stealthily?

I mean seriously, how the guy doesn't learn Earthquake through leveling up is beyond me.

Practice?

Ah, makes sense.

Noted, I'll can that crap in the future.

They probably take ballet or something.

Pokemon has been going on for about close to a decade right? Wouldn't technological advances indicate something along the lines of a portable "pokemon center"? Those heal machines have remained the size of a smartcar forever.

To be technical, it's believed that the four generations all pretty much happen in the span of three years or so, Generation 1 and 3 taking place at the same time, and 2 and 4 taking place in the years after. But still, that is enough time for them to downsize things some.

I'm still pissed off that I have to waste a movespace on my Scyther for Cut. God damn, it's got fucking blades for arms, it should not have to be TAUGHT how to slice up frail shrubbery in its path!

A decade isn't long enough to really justify that. Maybe if it was mostly computer-based, but what if it really takes them out of their balls and stuffs them underneath to do, like, surgery and stuff? For that matter, what's to say it doesn't just teleport them somewhere different entirely for treatment? We know they can teleport them because they do it every time you have more than six. I'd imagine that gate technology might still take up some space.

Or maybe it's just powered by a Raticate on a large hampster wheel and they don't want you to see that.

I always thought it was a Ninjask in a wind turbine.

FTFY

These things run around in the bushes, guys

That's their backup generator that they use whenever some moron comes by with a fainted legendary.

why can you only carry six pokemon? This especially made no sense in yellow when one of them wasn't even in a pokeball

There will probably be some revelation where either celestial powers prevent you from carrying seven.

Or maybe government agents discreetly assassinate trainers who try to keep that seventh pokeball, and then all of the disappearances led to people unconsciously avoiding the mere thought of seven pokemon.

The league said so? I'm pretty sure it's a rule that's hard-coded into the pokeballs. Just because Pikachu isn't in in a pokeball doesn't mean Ash doesn't still have that ball on his person. I'm pretty sure that anytime in the show that Ash had six pokemon in a battle and Pikachu wasn't one of them it was because the little shock-rat was sitting with Ash's current girl companion. I would assume he just handed her the pokeball for Pikachu so that he could get another ball warped in. The reason Pikachu never gets warped away is because he's never in his damn ball so it's inert. If I remember right the system always chooses the most recently acquired ball to warp back to storage.


So I see a lot of Ash/Misty kissy-face pictures that look suspiciously like actual screenshots from the show. When the hell did that happen? I thought their little sexual tension thing was supposed to last forever.