Hmm, Tax Cuts Won't Fix Cancer, Either...
 

ITT we list things tax cuts won't fix, cure, destroy, help, provide, or put out.

Wildfires (Thanks, The Onion)
Education
Global Warming
World Hunger
Homelessness
Droughts
Crime Rates
Hostage Situations
Psychosis
Autism
Alzheimer's
Tourrette's Syndrome
Potholes
Bridges
Tax Evasion (IRONIC)
The Mafia
Drug Cartels
Terrorism and Terrorists
Drug Addiction
Alcoholism
Abandoned Mines
Poisoned or Tainted Food
The Common Cold
Influenza
Flooding
Earthquakes
Illegal Firearms
Dangerous Cults
Kidnapping
Rape
Murder
Thievery
Depression
West Nile Virus
Public Transportation
Racial Violence
Violence Against LGBT People
The Criminal Justice System
Prison Overpopulation
Downed Power Lines
The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict, Egypt, Libya, Syria, etc.
The War in Afghanistan
Roadside Bombs
Healthcare
Premature Birth
Birth Defects
Access to Prenatal Care
Vaccination
Pollution
Endangered Species
Child Abuse
Domestic Abuse
Animal Abuse
Orphans
Libraries
Hurricanes
Tornadoes
Housing
Utility Costs
The Energy Crisis
Gas Prices
People Losing Their Houses

It's almost like despite the fact that tax cuts account for 99% of the words coming out of politicians' mouths, they actually won't fix numerous things!

Things tax cuts will fix:

Entitled, white, rich, old men having to pay their fair share into the tax system.

And isn't that all that really matters?

Hmm, you guys may sway me yet, inability for tax breaks to solve the AIDS crisis or reduce the national debt notwithstanding.

What I'm wonder is what tax increases won't fix, and what tax freezes won't fix. Or shit that taxes will never have any effect on whatsoever. Just asking for perspective.

They will fix falling giant scissor sales when politicians enact their policies by cutting up big bits of paper labelling taxes.

Will the tax cuts cure my recurring bloat and stomach troubles?

Theoretically, tax increases could fix anything that's within the physical realm of possibility for humans to fix. Housing crisis? If all houses are owned by the state, no one pays rent or mortgages. Racism? More education for everyone. Too much crap on TV? Let's see what public service channels can do with Hollywood's budget. Heat death of the universe? Probably just an organizational problem, like everything else.

The perspective is that there isn't an entire political party that has spent the last 30 years advocating tax increases/freezes as the solution to anything and everything with utter disregard for evidence, logic, or plain common sense regarding whether they actually do or don't help / make things worse in any given situation.

The theory behind it is so sound too! We have Stuff to get/get rid of. We need Things to get/get rid of the Stuff. To get Things, we need Money, which we tax people for. So with the Money, we can get Things, and get/get rid of Stuff.

I just don't know where it all went wrong.

Not a chance, sunshine!