So why DOES Canada need those stealth snowmobiles?
 

Canada seeks to become number one in stealth snowmobile technology

What are these nefarious bastards planning up there? America needs to look into its own stealth snowmobile technology to combat this new threat! Why, if we aren't careful, the ability for a preemptive stealth strike on the Alaskan motherland via unheard, unseen snowmobile commandos will be in the hands of the enemy! :ohdear:

Stock up on ammo for the coming winter, my fellow patriots. Keep watch to the north! Be ever vigilant! Beware the Maple Leaf and their stealthy treads of doom!

You haven't heard? We've contracted them to make technology useful in the snow so we can wage war on Russia.

Obviously, the only thing that stands between Canada and victory against the Russians in an hypothetical future war is... costly stealth operations.

Well if the military applications don't pan out, we can always use them for hunting. Why sneak up on a baby seal on foot when you can use a silent snowmobile? Those clubs are heavy you know.

I don't understand the question.

Why wouldn't you need stealth snowmobiles?

To keep on the good side of blind rights advocacy groups.

But the stealth seems to be entirely audio-based.

Exactly! Imagine you're an innocent blind Canadian AMERICAN civilian, out in the middle of the tundra, who up til now was quite easily able to avoid being crushed under the snowmobile treads of some thoughtless Canadian via your aural skills? But now your only advantage has been lost! I'm not even sure the endangered blindus wanderingus samuraius can escape a grisly fate under such circumstances.

I imagine it's harder to find an impolite Canadian than an invisible snow-mobile.

I don't really care why Canada wants to build stealth snowmobiles. Though it's obviously for there newly trained army of ninja beavers.

Canada would never put the majestic beaver in harm's way like that. It would be like the US strapping dynamite to crying bald eagles painted like American flags. All the eagles are named George Washington, to boot.

I'm actually pretty willing to imagine the asshole: not-asshole ratio is pretty similar to the rest of the world.