Why can't all women be like you...

Well, I really can't say much, because I'm bi, and I'll be damned if I don't stare at other girl's chests/asses/legs/what-have-you. Even some of the guy asses out there are pretty nice too.

Well...my eye only drifts if something catches it. I'm not talking breasts, it's usually phrases at the chest (why do some girls have messages in that area, then get offended if we look?), but if there's breasts attach...well, I won't complain.

Anyway, here's a few things I think you should remember.

1. If you're forcing yourself to do something to get the attention of some girl/guy, don't. You're pretending to be interested, and in the end that rarely ends well.

2. Treat them with true respect. Unless they want you to be, don't be perverted. Also, when I mean true respect, you have to do it in both thought and action.

3. Be true. No lies, no cheating, no pretending to be someone you're not. It's better off in the long run that you end up with someone who's compatible with you than someone who's hot but just doesn't fit with you. It's basically what I stated before, but still, there's no hurting in reminding.

4. Karma...'nuff said.

That will never happen... Ever... That's like trying to not eat...

Ahem. I'll give you some tips for dealing with women straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

1) We're lying, tricky bitches. Treat us as such. It's true that most girls want assholes. Even if they say they like nice guys. It just proves my point.

2.) We're lying, tricky, HYPOCRITICAL bitches. We get all huffy if a guy dares to look at our body, but should he not find us attractive, he's dead.

3.) We're lying hypocritical, tricky, hypocritical, HORNY bitches. We may not act like it, but we want sex too! Probably kinky stuff too.

4.) We're lying, tricky, hypocritical, horny, CHEAP bitches. Money can't buy you love my ASS.

5.) We're lying, tricky, hypocritical, horny, cheap, pansy bitches. Yes, we say you're 'nice' and 'sweet', but that just means we can't think of any think creative to say and we don't want to be a BLATANT bitch, but we'd rather fuck a bunch of broccoli than fuck you.

And there you have it.

So you can call yourself a bitch, but I can't call you a bitch?

#2 Alien...

Exactly. If you call me a bitch, I'll kick your ass. And if you dare fight back, I'll sue you for harassment/abuse/shit like that.

Wait, how do we know that Ren isn't just a guy who is trying to keep us from ever having relationships again by posing as a chick and then giving us bad advice?

Oh. Ok. No more que- wait, how do we know that they're… aw screwit, I'll just shut up now.