My Book
 

Right now I'm trying to write a Science-Fiction novel that will be part of a series, (up to chapeter thirteen on the first book right now) I've given it to some friends
for proof reading (trying to get it right the first time) but friends will spare your emotions I was wondering if I could get some people to help look over it as I work on it, I'll post the first chapter later.

This should go in Arts and Crafts. Premonitions, would you mind taking a look at the forum rules linked in my sig? I know you're new here and it probably seems like we're pretty strict, but we don't really ask for all that much from our posters. It'd be a good idea for you to get a feel for how things go around here before you do too much more posting. You can PM me or any other mod if you have any questions.

As this is about the fifth time you've gotten a friendly warning, may I add onto Mashirosen's kindness with a more stern outlook: the next warning won't be friendly, okay? Seriously, shape up. You're obviously not some sort of jackass, but you seem to be blissfully ignorant of the way we do things here. Familiarize yourself so we don't have to bring down the mallet on you.

You should hear me talk, sorry This is one of two forums I've ever been on.
My chapter's kinda long, how should I post It?

Zip it. Zip it good. Then you should be able to put a link to it for download, or can attach it to a post.

Either that or you could take liberty of the fact that given the purpose of this thread, you could simply use more than one post to display the chapter. Just don't double post twice over something unrelated to the book.

First three pages of the first chapter, need a better name.

I'd say that this is an ok work...there are too many pointless details like how tall in feet and inches he is and where his apretation of Bob Marley came from or wether or not he smokes pot...you want to get a good hook in the first chapter and really in the first page of a book. The story seems to cut off in mid sentence...you could end the chapter that way but personally I don't like it that way. but the unnessisary details are not really good for the flow of the story.

Until next time,
Getting up and Standing up for your rights,
Love,
Death BY Stabbing

I stopped after the second run-on sentence. Are they intentional? It needs work before I'd bother reading it. That's not meant to be offensive, but even Microsoft Word will help you proofread what you posted.

That would help, except I don't have word my computer only has a mutated form of notepad called word pad.

And, as always, the Linux answer is the best answer.

It's alot like MS Word, but it's Open Source. Doesn't mean much to you, i'd imagine, but 'free' is really nice.

And onto the material...as a writer myself, all I can say is just keep writing more stuff. You have alot of run on sentences, superfluous descriptions, broken grammar and spelling, and the like. Run a spellchecker in Word/OpenOffice, take a couple of English classes in high school/college, and just keep at it.

Trust me when I say that what you have so far isn't book material, but you definately can take it to that level with enough practice.