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In one of the present groups I am in, this level 1 wizard with 4 hit points keeps opening barrels, doors, and other things. They ALWAYS end up trapped. Anyway, at one point my character was outside the room that Kag (the wizard) opened a barrel with a flame trap in it. Then (not due to Kag) a wall fell down. My character peeked into the room and frustratedly said "What did you do Kag?"
So now every time I hear something bad or otherwise destructive happen, I say "Kag, what did you do?" |
A few years ago I was playing a game of D&D with my friends in college. The party consisted of a fighter, sorceror, cleric of shar and a rogue all level 5. We had just finished a quest and returned to the fighters hometown of Silverymoon. We had just accepted another quest and needed to get supplies so the thief stated that he would do all the shopping since he had an 18 Char and a high diplomacy skill. With that he jotted down a "grocery list" of all the equipment we needed (this is all in character of course). The thief strolls up to this small little weapons/armor shop with only the storekeeper there, no guards. Before he enters he picks up a handful of dirt and stuffs it into his pocket. When he enters the shop he begins reading off the list to the clerk, and the clerk would place the equipment on a table in the front of the store. The thief makes a search check and the DM informs him that there is a tablecloth on the table. Once the list was read out the thief asks for other highly valuable looking items, those too were placed on the table. Finally the storekeeper rings up the bill and as the thief appears to be getting gold from his pocket he pulls out the dirt and throws in into the shopkeepers face, grabs the table cloth with the items stuffed inside like a sack and hauls ass out the store. What was amazing was the sheer luck of his rolls. He only had a 12 strength and was able to pass his strength check EVERY time by rolling 16's and higher. So the storekeeper quickly persues the thief with his very expensive looking warhammer in hand. It turned out this storekeeper was a level 10 fighter with a +2 Warhammer with 1d6 cold damage; needless to say if the thief got hit by that hammer it was have taken him out cold in considering he was running with his back towards the storekeeper. The DM conveniently added a feature to the hammer that made it return to the owners hands when thrown (sounds like Aegis Fang from Salvatore's novels). So this thief is running from this storekeeper through backalleys with a sack full of a suit of full plate, 2 longswords, a tower shield and other small shit like arrows, bolts, etc. dodging powerful throws of this warhammer and GOT AWAY! He passed EVERY roll check it was amazing and a stroke of dumb luck, but it was hilarious watching the thief player's face when had to make a roll on whether or not he was gonna get hit. He would have been screwed because he would have either been killed or thrown in prison, and our party would have left him there because we all made an agreement to no prison breaks when we first formed the party (in character). |
Rat
Me and my party entered a dungeon and saw a door to the east and a garage can to the north.We approached the door and listened to hear sniggering.I open the door and kill a few hobgoblins.For some reason i skin the hobgoblins and cook them.i heard squeeking behind me then saw a dire rat that had followed us for a while from the garbage cans.I gave it some of the meat and it kept follow close behind us.
I was feeding every five minutes or so and eventually, was my animal minion as long as i feed it every five minutes. :bmage: |
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This is essentially the Player's Handbook in HTMl form. But if you already have easy access to the book, you might also want to try the wizards.com boards for information on how to start a character. |
Hehe, so many fun times with DnD. Most of them consisted of a combination of sleep deprivation and caffeine. These are some of the few that had none of either.
1) Band of the Great Gray Goat. One of the players in my group wanted to play a minotaur, but didn't want the whole evil thing. DM, being more about the fun than the rules lawyering, took a standard mino and crossed it with a paly. Player needs to take Holy Water every two days, but since I was a cleric, no problem. One of (yes, we had several) our NPCs was a centaur who spoke Mino. So, standard operating procedure was mino charge, centaur follow, elven ranger ('nother NPC) on cent's back. Cleared a full mansion without those three ever coming to a complete stop. Laps on first floor, charge up stairs, repeat. Since the house was full of special skeles, the minos horns got a rainbow nimbus, his axe got blood red and flames, and the cenataurs hooves all went pink. 2) The Hammer! My bro, Phil, was playing a fighter(prof:blacksmith) with a sledge hammer for a weapon. We got to a specially sealed door, and discussed how to get by it. Basically, there was a rose with all the pedals spread out. Slide the pedals back into place, presto chango. Well, being the oh-so-strength oriented person he was, Phil attepmted to slam the door open with his hammer. Now understand, this hammer was his pride and joy, he had named it and all. It disintegrated upon impact, and ever since, whenever we have a lull in the gameplay, a good "Phil lost his hammer" never ceases to amuse. 3) The Coliseum. My DM decided to amuse a few of our players and set up a coliseum-style campaign. First, defeat our opponents, second, get out of slavery, third, reap vengeance on our former masters. The ONLY time I've ever seen two (or more) 18s on a character (naturally rolled, anyway) was our fighter. A barbarian (2nd ed, basically the same thing) He had 18/00 STR, 18 CON, 18 DEX. We all watched him roll these naturally. He, at level one, took out an Ettin (level 2), then a full squad of hobgoblins (level 3) and a band of Ogres (level 4). This was done in one gaming session. Then I, our mage, was the only one who wasn't in the pit during the last fight, which was against a hydra. I, being the lowly lvl 6 that I was (the highest of the group), took it upon myself to kill it with a fireball. Then, the fighter demanded to due me...after we escaped. I had, after all, shown him up, what could make more sense? Before that could happen though, we got stuck in the sewers. Our elven rogue got tired of me whining about not being able to see in complete darkness, and hit me. 1 pt damage. I responded with a burning hands. He stabbed me, I blasted all of us with another fireball. The fighter, with his insane hp, survived, and butchered what remained of my charred corpse, demanding I return to duel. 4) The Tower. I had a good human ranger, and my DM decided to make for me an NPC nemesis...a human ranger. Basically, we were going to be at each other's throats for a couple of in-game days straight. Or so my DM thought. My first task was to check on the Bron's holding's. No problem. He asks me to check a tower in the middle of the woods, to which I readily agree. I head into the tower, and get shot at by an arrow. Start duel. For the next hour and a hlaf, IRL, the two rangers go up down, and through the tower, hunting each other...or so I thought. Actually, the evil one left about 3 IRL mins into the duel. So I'm going around, wondering when he'll pop out, who'll catch who, etc, and doing all the stuff one does in an odd place. Move 2 feet, silence 5 mins. Move 5 feet, stab lumpy sack, silence 5 mins, repeat. After that little fiasco, the ranger became completely paranoid and would only consider a place "safe" after one trap per square foot being used was set. If he slept in a 10x10 room with one door, ten traps were set at that door. He lasted until he met another adventurer who set off one of his more viscious traps, and killed himself in the process. |
Ok. My current group and I were adventuring on this island that was based strongly on an Indian culture with a warrior cult and Shiva and all that. So we're on this island and trying to help the poor natives in their quest to win back their island from this bad evil wizard dude. So we're about 2nd to 4th level and we discover something: if you touch the Guradian Statue of a village, you get a power, but you loose a power too! Usually you loose two things for one. I was playing a wizard (Gnosh the Great) and so we find another statue and this one represents the Goddess of Wisdom. We can see that by the engravings in a book we find.
So our bard walks up and touches it. ANd looses two points of Intelligence for one point of wisdom. What happens. Everyone is laughing at her shock and i just go: "Well look at it this way, you're wise enough not to do that again." That just made it worse of course. **** Then in a game a few years back (AD&D 2nd Ed rules) we were all lost in this dungeon. It was a moving maze, so as we walked we got seperated. Well, I was playing a halfling cleric and managed to stick close to our groups fighter and we're taking on these enemies with no light at at all cause it is dark and spooky. Well we open this door and there is this person standing there with a huge sword, who we proptly hit with everything we have. Our thief never forgave us for that. **** In another game I had a wizard, Seltar the Powerful and Strong, a 1st level wizard. We were exploring a ruined keep cause the locals said it was haunted and they asked for help. Well to get to this keep we had to cross over some water, and our boat sank. So I die of drowning cuase the DM just rolled bad, but he felt kindly and said I really didn't die I was just knocked out and floated to shore. Well I was like. Ok, lets have fun. I decided that the knock to his head and minutes without oxygen led to him basically going insane (he had an 8 wis anyway). So he is giggling as he moves around and the DM loves it (bonus 100 XP! WOOHOOO!) and we get hit by what I think is a leperchaun. Who polymorophs my staff into a flower. So i'm running around pointing my staff at people and shouting "FLOWER POWER" while flinging magic missiles. It was great. **** Thats all I can remember right now. Raven! |
My friends usually just say stupid things, my favorite being my friend James "yeah, that where you were, times six!" which was followed by my other friend saying "James, get off the crack!" but this was at 4 in the morn, and much is non-sensical then. Anyway, I play with two groups, one being with 4 other people, and the other with about 12 people total. Two completely different styles of playing. In the small group I have a wizard, and in the alrger one I've a barbarian.
Oh, does anyone have any ideas for the XP cost of using permancy on something like Bull's Strength? Because I enjoy the twinkage of that kind of thing... |
Rogue: I quickly open the door and tumble to the left to avoid arrow fire.
DM (me):*begins to laugh hysterically for 3 minutes straight* You just rolled down a circular flight of stairs! I swear to god, I didn't plan that, or make it up on the spot. I'm not that creative. He rolled down the stairs and then rolled a d10 and said "My pride takes 8 points of damage." |
Well, i guess so
-Having a xenophobic Dwarf in our party sucked.
-Being unable to convince the guy not to use the name Gord Battlehammer sucked -Gord with ridiculous luck finding a Luck Blade with one wish sucked. -Gord misspeaking and wishing he wasn't so lucky was golden. You see, My half-elven, Female, CG Cleric of the Elffather didn't seem to set well with Gord the CN male Dwarven fighter. We tried to be cordial, but (see sig.). We just seemed to have this big problem with making fun of each other. He's dumb as a rock and looks like someone set his face on fire and put it out with a hammer...which is not to say someone didn't. I didn't even set his face on fire. It was the slamander, I swear, it wasn't me. THough nobody was keeping a close eye on him, I'm pretty sure it was either the Thoqqua he tried to eat, or the fire baby (what are those called??) he thought was cute, and that thought his beard was fun...Either way, something set his face on fire, and I distinctly remember him yelling for us to put it out. The wizard was dead (again, for me to bring back), so no ray of frost, paladin just rockin out to that unstoppable dance spell while the damn bard played his bagpipes for no apparent reason (Which turned out to be a Geas placed on him before we met for having been found guilty of playing the bagpipes in a public place). I had already used my create water spell for a shower earlier that day, so, my ponderings were interrupted by him yelling something about his hammer. It was a nice hammer, let me tell you. Now, I'm not sure if he wanted me to use the hammer to put out hte fire, or whether he just wanted me to stop the fire baby from eating it. I suggested he use the pool of liquid behind him, just for good measure. The DM pipes in, laughin, "it's highly flammable, you know...plane of fire?" As you can see, this just made him yell at us with more fury than before as he failed will save after will save to keep from running around in terrified circles. I finally tripped him and repeated;y pounded him in the face with his own hammer until said fire was out. His CHA was subsequently lowered from 9 to 4. Hey, I'm still CG, ain't I? Kinda funny how my WIS is an 18, though. |
how wrong you are (my pov)
top 3 shitiest things in ADnd
3. 10 towns 2. lack of rum 1. having a liberal but hot elf in your party who needs to grow a beard. Damn i need sum rum. rum, rum, in my tum. God Damnned elf and her little elf worshiping, seems like everytime i kill sum unlucky giant she be takin my treasures and giving to sum god for sum no good damned reason. Thats how she burned me beard. We found quite nice items in a duengeon, a big one were i killed everything! and then ate the meat from there carcases which might i say was quite good, drow not taste to bad. Any way i found a luck blade, so that little elf decides that to keep herself lucky and not grow a beard so she steals it and uses the wish to burn me beard, thats right burn me beard. The weakling elf couldnt talk with its mouth full of drow. She tried to say let me grow a beard so i can be the wife of this lovely dwarf. But as i repeat myself the elfs weak jaws could not say it with food in her mouth. Theirlin lies the story of my missing beard |
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