Humorous Shakespeare monologues
 

I will be trying out for a part in a play and one of the requirements for the tryout is a 1 minute memorized monologue, and i was wondering if anyone knew some particularly funny ones off the top of their heads?

It has to be Shakespeare?

Henry V had some funny bits, the parts where Henry is sneakin' about the camp pretendin' to be normal folk.

Incidentally I imagine this thread will be moved to General at some point.

Ah, i wasn't quite sure, because i thought discussions on shakespeare were of the moderatly serious nature, regardless of their origins.

Indeed, does it *have* to be from Shakespearian canon? Because if not, then I came up with a few sources you might be able to utilize. You might, f'r instance, be able to cull something from one of Groucho Marx's books (probably Groucho and Me). Alternatively, there are quite a few passages in the five-book trilogy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which might serve your purposes (most likely, in my opinion, from the first, second, and fifth books, titled The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and Mostly Harmless). Eric Idle's Greedy Ba$tard Diary might (or might not) also be of use to you.

Warning:

Mostly Harmless is the most awful book of all time, ever.

Read at your own risk (of murdering your soul!).

Disagree, though I grant that it was the worst book in the Hithhiker's series. I made my decisions on the worst books of all time years ago, and decided that they had to be divided into two (2) catagories.

1. Worst legibly written book of all time: "A Separate Peace" by John Knowles

2. Worst illegibly written books of all time: Anything ever written by James Joyce

Further explanation could be given, but it could possibly violate spoiler laws and I don't feel like blacking out my text. However, why anyone would be worried about either the plot of John Knowles' crapfest or could even conceive that James Joyce is in any way a good enough writer to remember to come up with a plot in the first place is beyond me.

As for Shakespearean monologues, Oberon had some neat stuff in "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Still, were it up to me, I wouldn't go with Shakespeare if for no other reason than it's terribly overdone, but that's just my opinion.


EDIT: Oh, didn't notice the word "humorous".... heh. Actually, go for Midsummer, all the way. Maybe not Oberon, but that is one damn funny play.

I maintain that there are two kinds of awful, being ordinary run-of-the-mill awful, and taking something you love, hacking it open, carving out its innards and stuffing its carcass with shit and disease awful.

I generally reserve the bulk of my outrage for the latter.

... In the interests of not straying too far a'topic, I shall note that should the dictates of your assignment restrict you to the stage-play, I should gladly direct you towards any of Gilbert & Sullivan's collected works (although I somewhat recall that their better bits were the monologues).

I'll gladly concede that Mostly Harmless is, put politely, a big fat fnucking disappointment. However, aside from the stab-to-the-heart ending, I still think that, should one be pressed for material for one minute's worth of monologue, you have a better chance of finding quotables in that than in, say, book four, in which Arthur kind of grows a personality. (Of course, maybe I'm biased--I didn't want to hear all about Arthur, I'm a Ford Prefect fan. Which, while I guess it makes me an ungrateful fan, is still what I couldn't help but want.)

Well...I lied, maybe book three isn't so bad for quoties and monologue stuff. Everything but So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish should be not bereft of monologue-ready stuff.

Aw, hell, go through 'em all. I just remembered a funny bit which is probably in book four.

Monty Python books/albums (not just show/film scripts; Python albums and books tend to have at least some original content on them) might be worth looking through too. There's some fairly good one-man stuff in those, as far as I recall.

If it has to be Shakespeare my vote goes for "Much Ado about Nothing"

It has pleny of funny monologues, especially the ones spoken by Benedict.

"She said I was duller than a great thaw!"

If it doesn't have to be Shakespeare, I'd look up Rowan Atkinson or other stand-up comedians/actors on google. You'll find some really good stuff. Just make sure you put your own touch into it; don't just watch the stand-up and try to copy the actor.

For Shakespeare, I'd try "A Midsummer Night's Dream" or "The Tempest."

But seriously, do a Google search. I'll bet if you just looked up "Shakespeare comedy- Monologue," "funny monologues," or something along those lines, you'll come up with something good. That's how I find most of my audition stuff.